Lisa Colón DeLay

Phil Romans via Compfight

Bono:
You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It’s clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I’m absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that “as you reap, so you will sow” stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff.

to read a large excerpt click here.

The book with the entire interview:

The next post is coming soon. Click the word “content” in the right sidebar for special deliveries.

Peter Adermark via Compfight

A shinny new sports car!

Fast. Convertible. Hot stuff. As it growled away I thought,

“What a Fig Leaf!”

In about 30 seconds you can see (or hear) the things people do to cover up… to compensate and distract themselves and others from their insecurities. It’s all a Fig Leaf dance done to hide shame.

To see it in ourselves can take a bit more time. Funny how that is!

We are always, it seems, pushing back somehow on the sense that we aren’t enough. (Even by drawing a comparison, which is what I did when I spotted a sport car fig leaf, reveals my cover up attempt, “I’m not as bad as that.” I said in my heart.)

Consciously or unconsciously we send signals to whomever might listen, even if the listener is us:

• I’m smart enough

• I’m talented enough

• I’m wealthy enough

• I’m pious enough

• I’m capable enough

• I’m attractive enough

• I’m good enough

• I’m strong enough

• I’m loved enough

• I’m dedicated enough

• I’m worthy enough

I. am. okay.

Each way a Fig Leaf. Each way a stab at trying to reconnect and find home. We all long for connection and acceptance.

Social creatures as we are, we still want to look like we have it all under control and can go it alone. The sinking feeling that perhaps we cannot sends a jolt of pain that has us picking fig leaves and making coverings for ourselves.

The truth is being vulnerable feels like being naked. We hate it. We feel exposed. We’d rather hide.

If something or someone reveals our mistake or shortcoming, we take it personally–as a reflection of some core flaw. Fig leaves are everywhere.

I don’t have a sport car to show off, so my fig leaf might not be so obvious to others. But it’s there! Oh, and I have much more than one fig leaf too. I too feel like I’m not enough, and plenty of ways and failures come up each day to point it out for me.

The only thing that helps to give me traction and drop a few leaves is admitting it and risking and then relying on my closest relationships to reorient me–including my relationship with God. Those who really love me reinforce that I already am worthy of love and acceptance. God reaches out in Scriptures, through others, and in the Living Word (Jesus the Christ) to drill home the fact that he covers all shame with empathy and love.

Guilt = I did something wrong (admit it, fix it, move on)

Shame = I am something wrong (we stay stuck, we go numb, we disconnect, we over-protect ourselves)

If you want to drop a few pitiful fig leaves, start by taking a risk and reveal why you cover up. You don’t have to do it in public, but apparently you have to do it to be well.

Brené Brown (who you’ve probably realized by now has inspired this post) says that “We are only as sick as our shame.”

I’m reading this, and I recommend it to anyone who has a Fig Leaf or two.

PRAYER FOR THE SHAMEFUL

God, hear my prayer!
I keep scrounging for things to make me feel better.
I remain unfound by your love in times when I deeply need it.
Be my Hope and Deliver
Let your love wash over me and renew me
That I can be born again into a greater Light and Love
And even as a new born baby is vulnerable and so dearly loved
Let me sense that I am your child in the same way
I am strongest and most protected when I realize I am in your arms
Let me sense your acceptance and closeness.
Remind me of who and where you are.

Click for Verse of the day

Don’t miss the next post coming soon. Click on the phrase “CLICK for new content”  in the right sidebar (top) for special deliveries.

I’m not sure there’s any number of Facebook likes that can replace a hug. -Seth Godin

It’s true that as real life plays– out not in the hard scrabble face-to-face ways, but through pixels and clicks– that we grow not just a bit more jaded but also less human.

Typing away about our problems and working on getting noticed for what we think can fool us into thinking that this is normal or optimal human behavior. It’s not. It’s distancing behavior. It’s the kind that can’t stand under the weight of true in-flesh reality, and makes us less ready to do the real and messy work of grace and friendship. Or, reap their invaluable rewards. This stuff of the inter webs is  not the kind of being that often propagates a compassion that breathes real life into our souls and health into our bones, at least not like the solace that in-person camaraderie can.

If reading your screen is making you often angry or upset it could be making you sick. Maybe physically but surely in your soul. And it should be well with your soul.

Write out some of your frustrations for no one to see.

Distance yourself for a bit from the thing that distances you from other humans or too often makes shallow mockeries of fellowship and communion.

Unplug and be well.

Inspired by the open heart of Henri Nouwen, I am including my own thoughts openly.  In some ways prayers too. Though these are notes I am writing to myself, some of them may have resonance with you. I hope so. 

Open Diary

You’ve been good at anticipating and predicting. By nature you use your intuition to navigate and decide. By nurture you’ve had to use your skill to survive in your world. You’ve tried to keep out of harm’s way by doing this. You’ve tried to thrive.

But there is a price. It is that you get yanked out of the moment that you are in. You’ve living elsewhere. Life is happening but your mind is in the future planning or figuring things out. You are cheating yourself out of the richness of the now. The present.

Just as you notice a smile from your child or the beauty outdoors your mind races ahead outside of the moment. Settle yourself. Find yourself where you are. Right now.

Keep coming back to the place where you really are.  Literally, come to your senses.

# # #

Don’t miss the next post, or others in this series. Get an email delivery by clicking in the sidebar!

Inspired by the open heart of Henri Nouwen, I am including my own thoughts that also are in some ways prayers too. You may think of this as an Open Diary. I will share them with you, not every day, but once in a while. Though these are notes I am writing to myself, some of them may have resonance with you. I hope so. 

Open Diary

You have given and you are empty. Not forever empty, but for now. Weary but not forgotten by God. You must, like you tell others to do, find your center and the place where Love resides. This Love is not you, but Other. Not only Other, but God who is and within and part of your being. Hold on to your first love and be known and healed.

Don’t try to be everything everyone hopes you are or wants you to be for them. Be sincere and true and let God find them where they are as well.

There is always a curve in the walk. A turn in the road and you are only given a piece of what lies ahead. This is because God loves you and knows you. Trust God in this. Be well in your soul as you set your heart into God’s hand.

Being empty means you are ready to be filled.

# # #

Don’t miss the next post, or others in this series. Get an email delivery by clicking in the sidebar!

My friend shared this quote with me.

Feeling it was too good a gift not to share…I just had to present it to you, today.

Abbot John Chapman wrote:
‘The time of prayer is passed in the act of wanting God. It is an idiotic state, and feels like the most complete waste of time, until it gradually becomes more vivid. The strangest phenomenon is when we begin to wonder whether we mean anything at all, and if we are addressing anyone, or merely repeating mechanically a formula we do not mean. The word God seems to mean nothing. If we feel this curious and paradoxical condition, we are starting on the right road.”

This quote can sound like one of two things, mainly:

1. Super weird, if not heretical.

2. Just what you need to hear and strangely comforting.

….okay maybe option 3. Confusing. (you’ll have to let me know)

When prayer feels useless, it’s not. But, prayer doesn’t have to look and feel like you’ve been taught: active, powerful, transforming.

Takeaway: You don’t have to feel guilty when you feel nothing at all.

Some feel repelled by the silence or felt absence. It pulls them toward agnosticism or even atheism, but silence and other mysteries can also bring us toward the contemplative stream of spiritual growth.

What did the quote sound like to you?

# # #

Don’t miss the next post; it’s coming soon! Get an email delivery by clicking in the sidebar.

In wrapping up my time at the Renew & Refine Writer’s Retreat I wanted to mention the visual aid of the wheel.

Our lives have a center, a hub, just like a wheel. What is at the center?

No, not what, but Who.

A “who” is the center:
God, the great I Am.

No matter where we go, we are always on that wheel. We are connected to the center even if we are on the outside and attached by just a spoke.

We never leave the wheel. It’s impossible.

It is not possible to be separated from God and his Love (here’s the Biblical reference for that). After we spend some time on various parts of the wheel and maybe we feel all the spinning, we can move to the center that moves not.

If you feel yourself getting sucked out to the end on your wheel, flung by the bumps, or dizzy from the speed…simply move to the Center. Where do you find this Center?

In the sky? no.

In the church on Sunday? not so much, but that can be nice too…sometimes.

In the Scriptures? Not, exactly, but that can point the way.

The Center is within you.
It is God’s home. You are God’s home. Go to the center of you and find God there. Go to your home.

Centering prayer is that simple too. Just pick one meaningful word. (Maybe… Jesus, Love, Grace, Hope. Peace, or whatever you’d like to bring you home.) Then pray this word, slowly, carefully, pushing to the side the rest of things, until you sense that you are growing centered with God, your Source. Be there, and carry that sense of the Spirit with you. When you need it, do it again. Come to Center again. And again.

Remember, you aren’t merely on the wheel, you are the wheel.

# # #

Don’t miss the next post; it’s coming soon! Get an email delivery by clicking in the sidebar.

This weekend I’m the spiritual director at the Renew & Refine Writer’s Retreat.

So many times as writers or creatives we fail to integrate Soul Care into ordinary life. This has a burnout or burn up effect. Eventually, we end up hurting not only ourselves but those close to us. Even worse we often end up damaging our ongoing work–our vocation (what we are called and gifted to do). Vocation is the very thing that makes life so meaningful and rewarding.

God’s wishes for us to be uniquely us. We have permission to work and be in a way that is life-giving to ourselves and others.

This is why a “Rule of Life” or regular rhythm of self care and God-awareness is vital. It’s not complicated but it’s so very necessary. You can just start with your calendar and clear out certain days for what you really need.

Jesus, in discipling his followers, said it this way:

Matthew 11:29

Becoming a disciple refers to training–to process. The process of this life-giving training leads us to more abundant life. It’s not binary: all good or all bad. Dead end or open vista. It’s a bit of both and really a pilgrimage. Getting on with it is helped when we take up better habits that give us more breathing room and vitality, just like learning to pack a suitable backpack makes hiking and camping a better experience.

Some habits may involve integrating certain spiritual practices like morning prayer, meditating on Scripture, fellowship, unplugging from technology, or observing a sabbath rest, to name a few. Many refreshing options exist. Only by being habitual can we truly reap the benefits. Freedom can happen in a schedule crafted for breath of life. This is actually the real meaning of the word “religion”. Religion simply means “bind”…it’s the fiber or tether that helps us hold on to a sweeter and richer life. (Of course, the word has been spoiled and perverted in every which way, and some reject using outright because of all the baggage that comes along with it. Yet, in its simplest form “religion” refers to how we stay grounded and become our most fully human selves, if we don’t make our tether a noose or shackle instead!)

To be sure, this stuff of routines and habits is hard for me because I tend to do a whole bunch of things and once and push soul care to the side as “least urgent”. Too often I forget that just like I need food every day, I also need to care for my Soul (my whole integrated self).

The following are some great tools I’ve found quite helpful as spiritually enriching resources for devotional practices and learning how to have a deeper walk with God: Creator, Jesus, and Spirit.

Pick one that looks good to you, and get started.

Handbooks

Refreshing Devotionals (quick reads)

On soul Care

Regaining yourself – Prayer of the Heart

I’ll spare you a corresponding photo, but Luna, our chocolate lab, tried to bring a dead rabbit into the house.

Not long ago, just after Luna began adjusting to us and as her new family, I took her outside for her final bathroom break of the day.

She sniffed around as usual and then slowly blended into the inky night. Chocolate labs are pretty tough to spot at night, unless you catch the light reflected off the backs of their eyes. I waited. Then sensing that she might smell something and head off after it, I called to her. Nothing. Again I called and a few more times.

I heard the jingle of her collar in the weeds and then she pranced back with something furry in her mouth.

Not quite the hunter, Luna found an already killed and gutted rabbit and brought the carcass back. She wanted to bring it inside and share it. I screamed. And she seemed stunned.

“Put it down. Put it down. No, girl. Get inside.” I said.

She dropped it–mortified. Clearly she was a mix of mystified and disappointed you could just tell by her face. She sneaked inside and kept checking back to see what could be the matter. For days after we hosed down the back area where she dropped her present she would sniff and make some attempts to roll in the smell.

Gone were her chances to provide for the pack, at least in that way.

I wonder if we’re like that too sometimes. Trying to provide or contribute, thinking we’re doing a great job, and really God knows that our contributions are more like rotten carrion. It’s incomprehensible sometimes to us why somethings we’re doing won’t work, but for reasons that escape us God wants us to put down our treasured booty and come back inside.

I don’t think God wants us to give up our “doggie-like ways” or our “doggie-ness”, after all God made us people entirely on purpose. He knows we tend to get into trouble sometimes. Nevertheless some habits are important and healthy to break. And just like I started attaching Luna to her chain during outdoor pit stops maybe sometimes we have to get reigned in too.

Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:

1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.

2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.

(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)

I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.

Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.

A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.

Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.

So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.

• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.

• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.

• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.

• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.

• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for other things.

# # #

When was the last time you got away?

 If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.

I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.

I’m getting Psst.

I feel verily drawn to the whispers and the come-away… into the abiding.

When you feel battle-weary and you put your head down, you can hear thunder in the ground.

The divine rumbles and trembles you…way deep.

into your soul.

Your own beats loosen and go syncopated.

&

And whatever happens, all I know is… that I need to show up.

The wild abandon is not my own.

It’s the shine of the joy and glory.

&

Strangely, I sense the breathlessness is from… outside.

Yes.

God at my gate among the blooms.

&

Pay attention. Learn. Sit soon, at the feet of the One who is Other…

I hear it.

So,

Tomorrow I’ll make a trek to a sacred place because it’s time. It’s overdue.

I’ll tell you about it, some, on the other side.

And that’s how you get psst.

P.S.

Please stop for about 15 seconds, if you have them, and ask God to help me. I’d be so very grateful.

(don’t miss the next post. Sign up to direct delivery in the sidebar.)

I’m onto another 9 week module in my Leadership studies program and this time the course is

Christians and Contemporary Spirituality

I took this course already in 2009 when getting my first Masters degree (I was concentrating on Spiritual Formation), but this time the starting point  is Leadership Studies and the required texts are different. I get to go deeper, and I love that.

To me, the transformation of one’s character is critical to the development of a Leader. Skills and proficiencies don’t matter too much to too many people if the Leader is immature, maladjusted, or just a big jerk. 

But learning about formation and seeking it are two different things. It takes intent, knowledge acquisition, and follow through to see progress. Miss any piece of that and you are wasting your time or someone else’s.

So, now the books are ordered and it seems I’m in for a treat! Here’s what I’ll be reading over the next 9 weeks.

These links can get you some great stuff quick!

Christianity just lost a wonderful teacher. Today, Dallas Willard has died of cancer at the age of 77.

As a person who has spent countless hours learning about spiritual formation and endeavoring to be formed well, I am saddened that we’ve lost such an insightful man. A number of his books were part of my required texts and his keen wisdom helped to shape me.

In homage to him today, I will refer you to this article that is very helpful for understanding the difference between discipleship and spiritual formation and why the formation of our characters into Christ-likeness gets sidelined in churches and Christian institutions. It’s quite good.

Remember to say a prayer today for all those who grieve his loss.

article excerpt:

Interview:

What do you mean when you use the phrase spiritual formation?

Willard: In our country, on the theological right, discipleship came to mean training people to win souls. And on the left, it came to mean social action—protesting, serving soup lines, doing social deeds. Both of them left out character formation.

Isn’t character formation very much a part of many Christian schools and institutions?

Willard: What sometimes goes on in all sorts of Christian institutions is not formation of people in the character of Christ; it’s teaching of outward conformity. You don’t get in trouble for not having the character of Christ, but you do if you don’t obey the laws.

Read the rest here.

This is the video collection of the last conference Dallas Willard did in February on Knowing Christ, and the Dallas Willard Institute at Westmont College. (It’s excellent) 

To visit the Dallas Willard Center at Westmont click here.

Here are just a few of my favorites:

I’m writing the last paper for my class in Leadership and Administration. I’m concentrating on Transformational Leadership Theory.

Here’s the crash course for you!

30 years ago Transformational Leadership got some traction and it focused on something nothing else had: Followers.

What motivates and develops Followers created a paradigm shift in Leadership Studies that continues to be researched and written about quite a bit.

(The image shows 5 factors Transformational Leaders employ.)

The 4 Main Components that define Transformational Leadership

The four key components in play[1]:

1. Intellectual Stimulation – In Transformational Leadership the leader challenges the status quo, encourages creative solutions, and leads followers toward exploring new ways of doing things while offering new opportunities to learn and grow.

2. Individualized Consideration – In Transformational Leadership the leader offers support and encouragement to individual followers that help to foster supportive relationships among the team, and endeavors to help followers keep the lines of communication open to more easily share ideas. There is also recognition of team members’ unique contributions.

3. Inspirational Motivation – In Transformational Leadership the leader has a clear vision that is articulated to the followers. With this clearly articulated vision followers may share and experience similar passion and stay better motivated to see the vision through to completion.
4. Idealized Influence – A Transformational leader serves as a role model for her followers. She exemplifies the values she hopes to engender. This builds trust and respect for the leader. (This had been called “charisma” but has grown more nuanced.)

Servant Leadership!

I’ve snagged another bit of classroom notes from my esteemed professor Dr Tim Valentino.

How about this for leadership studies!
(more on the program here)

It was simply too good to not share. Tim’s blog is here, if you’d like to read more from Tim. (You’ll enjoy that too!)

 Enter Tim:

“So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:4-5)

A powerful picture of authentic, servant leadership, which we considered last week.

But why does Jesus do such a humble, menial task? I think we have a hint in Luke’s account of the same event. In Luke 22 we learn that the Twelve come to this dinner arguing about who’s the greatest among them. It’s not the first time they’ve had this quarrel, but they sense that something big is going to happen this weekend, so the debate is re-opened.

“The kingdom of God is going to come,” they reason, “and Jesus is going to be the king. But who’s going to be his co-regent? Who’s going to be his secretary of state?” They argue about it. James and John had their mother weigh in on the matter months ago. Remember Salome? “Lord, grant that my sons will get to sit at your right and left in the kingdom.”

John says, “Hey, why not? I am, after all, the disciple whom Jesus loves.” Peter fumes and says, “Hold on, dude, who do you think Jesus gave the keys of the kingdom to? Me! Remember?” (O.k., that’s a paraphrase, but use your sanctified imagination to re-create the tussle!)

These guys aren’t wearing halos yet, and they’re certainly not ready for the stain-glass window. They fight, they argue, and they pick at each other. They can be carnal and fleshly like anybody else. And here in the upper room there’s real tension. But Jesus doesn’t scold them. He redirects them.

• You want to be great in my kingdom? Then you have to serve.
• You want to be first? Then you have to be last.
• You want to be highest? Then you have to be lowest.
• You want to be the most? Then you have to be the least.

And while they’re sitting there at that sacred feast, arguing about who’s the greatest, Jesus shows them what true greatness and true leadership look like.

In those days people wore open sandals—much like our flip flops. They didn’t wear socks. Most of the roads were not paved, so they walked on the hot dirt roads under the blazing Mideast sun—roads used by people and animals. Their feet would become hot, sweaty, sore, and covered in mud—maybe even animal dung, too.

Most people in our culture—even with a daily shower and “Fast-Actin’ Tinactin”— have nasty feet. The last thing anybody wants to do is clean somebody else’s. That was even truer in the first century.

At the low, U-shaped table where Jesus’ disciples recline, there are 24 dirty feet pin-wheeling out from the center—each one revealing a self-centered heart. (It’s not just their feet that are soiled.) Jesus takes off his outer garment. Bare-chested now, he wraps himself with a towel, just as a slave would do. And, grabbing the water jug and basin over by the door, God-in-human-flesh kneels down, takes the feet of the men he created, and begins to scrub them. He takes the dirt and dung off the feet of his own creatures.

Some kingdom.

Even Judas gets his feet washed—which is way over the top, don’t you think? If you knew that tonight was your last night, that tomorrow you were going to be executed, and that the guy setting it all up was in your cohort, would you have asked him to come over for dinner tonight? Would you have loved him, fed him, treated him with dignity, and then washed his crummy feet?

It’s hard to put ourselves into that scene. It’s one thing to be kind to our friends, but to be kind to our enemies—now, that’s a whole other level of kindness! How many of us would have poured the water over Judas’ head, and then whacked him in the face with the basin? (Thank God I’m not Jesus!)

But why does Jesus do it? Is Judas ever going to change? Is he ever going to repent? Is he ever going to love God in return? No! So why wash his feet? It’s not going to make a bit of difference. Pragmatically speaking, it’s not going to “work.”

So why do it? Jesus washes Judas’ feet because that’s what God is like.

God is slow to anger, abounding in love. God is patient and kind. God is scandalous in grace. And so is his Son, who has come to reveal the Father. So there in that upper room, Jesus washes the feet of the one who will betray him tonight, and arrange for his murder tomorrow.

It’s as if Jesus is saying, “I’m not scrubbing Judas’ feet for Judas; I’m scrubbing Judas’ feet for my Father. Judas may never appreciate this, but my Father does. Judas may never deserve this, but my Father does. I do this not because it will be successful or get noticed. I do this not because it will be a good investment of my time, energy, and emotions. I do this because God does feet. I do this because I lead by serving. I do this because I lead by loving.”

That’s the kingdom. And that’s our king. Amazing.

What can I do in response to such a scene but pray, “Jesus, reduce me to love.”

29 DAYS!

That’s all the time that’s left until a retreat I’m really excited to be a part of!

The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers is a very special weekend that mixes fellowship, community, expert writing insights, and an enriching spiritual experience. Ed Cyzewski and Kristin Tennant have put their heads together to create something important and lovely that will give you perspective and space to find refreshment and inspiration unlike any typical writing conference can. Let’s face it, you need this!

Whether you’re a seasoned writer who’d like some sacred space to learn, grow, and rejuvenate, or you are a part-time or aspiring writer who’d like to pursue a deeper calling, meet other writers, and hear from seasoned pros, this retreat will be a boon!

I’m personally extra excited that the beauty of nature, time for laughter, relationship building, super yummy, specially-cooked family style meals, and time for personal reflection or solitude is built-in from the onset. Some have even called this the retreat keeps the introvert in mind! (But I assure you extroverts, like me, will love it too.)

Breathe a sigh of relief! Instead, of just getting bombarded with great info or squeezing in networking between workshop breaks, this time (May 24-26) will have space built-in for you to connect, learn, and enjoy relaxation and times of quiet too. Heaven? Maybe.

We’ll be at the Trinity Lodge. An interior picture is shown here…Looks cozy, huh?

If you’d like to save $25, see if you can spot the secret promo code word in this blog. I left some clues.

(Psst. If you figure it out, you can share it.) See you soon!

Sign up or learn more about the weekend here!

(Oh, one more thing! Did you already sign up to go? Or do want some extra awesome?

If you spot promo code and you are the first share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RRforwriters I’ll have a special care package for you when I see you there, May 24th.)

Left Hand Rotation via Compfight

So I curate a Leadership Blog at a graduate school…

This means sometimes I write for it myself, and sometimes I find great guest writers who write for us or allow us to repost previously posted articles.

I scope out the inter webs for insightful and practical articles for anyone in a leadership position…from a small group leader, to a parent, to an influential thinker and writer, to a minister, to a business owner. Anyone who influences someone else is in a position of leadership.

[BTW-send me your links of leadership articles or pitch me your ideas. I'd love to have new voices posted at the Deeper Leader blog!]

There’s a lot of information out there, but there’s a big blind spot too.

I’ve noticed something. Not too many male leaders list women authors, leaders, and thinkers in their blogrolls or refer to them in posts. You don’t see that women influence them. What about Christian male leaders? It seems twice as bad.

Michael Hyatt’s “Intentional Leadership” blog is a favorite of mine. I LOVE it. But have you noticed that not one video on his homepage sidebar features a female leader? Does he even realize the omission? Should he maybe be more intentional on this part….I think yes!

(and so should I! I need to question who I read and why. I have a blind spot too.)

Let’s mind the gap.

As I prepare articles to begin announcing our 1st annual Women in Ministry: Conversations with Leaderships forum (June 12) I realize the glut. It’s massive.

So, what’s up?

• Is it that men don’t give it much thought? (an innocent blind spot that is likely borne of “male privilege“?)

• Is there a hidden bias or disregard for female leaders, and even among female leaders themselves?

and do men feel less manly if they read women authors? Any of that going on?

• Do men think, “Sure, I support women, but women leaders speak mainly to women and not to me”?

Let’s ask some hard and honest questions while at the same time not blaming, dividing and separating from each other. Let’s move the conversation forward!

I, for one, am going to assume the best from my male writers and friends. I’m going to put my trust and hope in the idea that if we bring the imbalance to greater attention and awareness maybe we can chip away at the disparity and both genders will be richer for it!

• What about you?

Are the top ten blogs or books you read written by a balance of men and women? If, so why or why not?

Are you taking the time to learn from someone else’s purview?

• How do we do better at offering others the chance to hear insights from the whole breath of the human species? 

• What can we do about the blind spot?

LINK UP & Join Forces?

If you’d like to participate in the conversation, write an article and leave the link in the comments section. I’ll put the word out about your post too!

Andi Cumbo is tackling this and a few others. Will update soon!

(Luna chewing a busy bone)

This is literally a Wet Dog Diary entry.

We took our chocolate Lab, Luna, to a friend’s cabin on Sunday. The cabin is situated right near a creek and Luna’s inbred water skills took over. Nature trumped.

Short background on the breed:
Labrador Retrievers are among the most popular registered breeds in the US, Canada, Australia, and the UK and came about from the St John water dog breed in the 16th century. They became the breed they are today in Newfoundland in the 18th century, and chocolate labs are a 20th century variety. Their coats are waterproof.

Luna’s excitement shifted to overdrive. She wanted to sniff everything and had an anteater quality for a bit as she trolled the grounds.

Then the water fowl got her attention. She was transfixed. She never barked, only made little communications in staccato canine mummers. Muscle taunt, ears pricked.

She was living the dream.

Luna the Diving Dog?
Soon she went up to a ledge near the creek and jumped right in without hesitation. No fear. Just joy. Instinct. Love of the whole thing.

The water was probably about 40° F so she didn’t stay in long. I’ve never seen her happier.

Something about that act of abandon pricked me and gave me a new connection to her. She was herself. She wasn’t what her previous owners said she was (a lab that strangely disliked water). She wasn’t some other kind of animal. She was in her God-given glory. That is beauty, I must tell you.

Connection
Something switched this weekend with Luna. She began looking into our eyes to see what was expected. She’s moved beyond being anxious at her new surroundings and understanding how our family (pack) operates to now being a part of it instead. It seems like the love is mutual now, for all of us, that the growing pains of learning a new family grouping have subsided. Trust in a deeper way has started.

Trust
It makes me wonder about how trust works in our own human hearts. Mutuality is vital to it. It’s the difference between emotionally “hedging your bet” and being a willing giver buoyed by the security that comes with a firmer social bond. At what point do we just forget about our hang ups and be who we are born to be? When do we dive?

What thoughts do you have on Trust today?

I was loving this post by Doug Jackson. There are times when I read very good writing and a joy fills my soul. Today was one of those times, and so I thought I’d share an excerpt and entice you to enjoy the rest of it at the link below.

(the image is of a fishing boat from Palestine in 1st Century from in 1986, and nicknamed “the Jesus Boat”)

Thursday: Messing About in Boats

excerpt:

I thought about my car, a quarter-century old Toyota Corolla of indeterminate color and inelegant pedigree. It isn’t quite as long or wide as the Jesus Boat. Dog hair flecks the threadbare upholstery. A neighbor told me he always knows when I head for work or return home by the choked grumble of my engine. It is small. It is old. Is it also an opportunity for the mighty works of Christ?

And, of course, if this is true of that disreputable beater I drive, it is also true of the disreputable driver. A tiny life, a fool’s motley of patchwork parts, unshrunk scraps that have pulled great gaps where unwashed wisdom met threadbare experience. Throughout my days I have tinkered with the finicky mental mechanism, duct-taped the physical dilapidation, rerouted the spiritual wiring and generally tried to get ‘er to crank over for one more commute. One of these days the thing will flat refuse to run and the cankering rust won’t hold up to bolts or solder. I’ll just shove the whole concern into the high weeds and walk away. ~Doug Jackson, from Israel

 

Read the rest, I implore you! HERE

Chris Morton got my attention with his summary insights from the recent Missio Alliance conference.

He made 8 key observations, but this one really struck me.

6. Anabaptists
Many of those at Missio fall into what I once heard referred to as “the Hauerwas mafia.” That is, those inspired by the writing of Hauerwas, Yoder and others, to think of themselves as neo-Anabaptist. Historically, anabaptists have either been persecuted by other churches, or have disengaged from the world (Amish).

However, Anabaptism has one key tennent which is suddenly very valuable: it has never excepted the claims of Christendom, Christendom (culturally and governmentally enforced Christianity) and thinks of the church as a local, incarnational, counter society. As Christendom crumbles around North America and Western Europe, the Anabaptist tradition offers a posture for understanding the church’s place in the world.

(emphasis mine)

Loyalties

If Anabaptists have sort of weathered the storm that is Christian enmeshment in the over-influencial cultural siren of political involvement–and I think they have–we have a lot to learn from them moving forward. The Anabaptist tradition challenges us, in a most important way, to question some of our misplaced loyalties.

Issues of social justice come to the fore as well in this outlook because we begin to identify with and reach out to the people that Jesus did: the underdogs, the powerless, and those without a voice in the power games.

Is the shift obvious yet?
The U.S. cultural climate has changed drastically in the last 10 years. Is this reality evading us? It is.

Especially in Bible Belt areas that primary operate in a Christian biosphere. “Christian Land” happens in the places of profitable enterprises, power, influence, and a whole world dedicated to a kind of Christian sub-culture that, sadly, makes too little impact on the non-churched population.

Nashville comes to mind, for one. But there are plenty of less obvious locations that don’t have the sheen of Nash-Vagas. It’s the insular world (sometimes accompanied with chic hairdos and great pedicures) were folks really think their sorts of movies like Courageous deserve an Academy Award….and maybe woulda gotten one if it weren’t for them Hollywood liberals!

Yet, in most places in the U.S. the post-Christian era is here. Fully. To the unchurched, in many areas of the country, Christians and their silly churchy ways are impotent charicatures suitable for mocking. To those outside the bubble, they aren’t making a difference too much in the world, and not making progress in the spiritual depth of their own cliché either.

This means a reevaluation of what it means to be Christian and living a Kingdom life is crucial.

We need to once again ask, as we must in every generation:

• “What are our core values and mission as Kingdom people?”

• “Are our ways the upside down Kingdom ways?”

• If not, what should we learn? What is most meaningful moving forward?

The sifting begins!

Want my best guess? Millenials are the key to traction for the Kingdom now.

You can read Chris’ 7 other insights here.

Luna, our chocolate lab

When I decided to adopt Luna, a five year old chocolate lab 2 days ago, I knew I had to jump in with BOTH feet.

You can’t halfway care for a dog and love it halfway or something bad can take over. Resentment.

The truth is that dogs smell really gross to me. Their fur gets on to everything and they’ve seem ridiculously emotionally needy to me. The constant caring for them can feel like such a never-ending  chore. But the reality is also that they need people. These pack animals get neurotic and socially dysfunctional without a predictable caregiver who serves as pack leader. (Yes, I’ve been learning for the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan.)

They easily sense apprehension. They need a non frustrated, calm leader–and I admit when she shoves me out of the way to barge out into the rain after school kids I get tense!

Having grace for her problems and retraining her to be a better fit in our family is the new mission of The DeLay Pack.

I’ll keep you posted. Soon.

In the meantime, what good advice do you have for me?

As new Pope Francis makes bold statements through actions (washing the feet of inmates, taking residence in the papal guest house, etc) the word I hear tossed about concerning his leadership is MEEK.

Too often lumped as a quality of weakness, Meek Leadership has secret powers!

So what is the word “meek” about and how can it be so influential?

My leadership professor, Tim Valentino, wrote some comments I’d like to share with you.

(You can read more of Tim at his blog)

Leadership and Meekness?

The biblical word for this is “meek” (praus). A related word is “gentle” (prautes).

The semantic range of this word cluster includes the following: humble, gentle, considerate, unassuming, courteous, and restrained. In some contexts it means, “the absence of pretension.” By way of contrast, it’s the opposite of harsh, arrogant, or braggadocios.

As used outside the New Testament, this word has in it the idea of “lying low.” It was a word originally used, for example, to describe a low-lying river—one that cut through a valley. A river, of course, is a powerful thing, but a low-lying river is one that doesn’t impose its power on you. You have to go out of your way to go see it because it’s unobtrusive.

It’s important to keep in mind, I think, that “meek” does not mean “weak.” Unfortunately, these two words rhyme in English, but they are not synonymous. Nor does this word mean timid, shy, bashful, cowardly, indecisive, or unwilling to serve. Perhaps the best definition comes from William Barclay, who defined meekness as “power under control.”

Again, as used outside the Bible in the first century, this word referred to:

• Tame animals (cf. an elephant with its foot on a circus lady)
• Soothing medicine (cf. buffered aspirin or anti-anxiety drugs)
• A gentle breeze (cf. not a tornado, but wind that is refreshing to the body)

All of these items can have tremendous, destructive power, but “meekness” brings them under control to serve a good purpose. Significantly, Jesus, who has all authority in heaven and earth, quintessentially displays meekness. He said in Matthew 11:29:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus, of course, was a great leader. He was also meek. Apparently God thinks the two should go together.

Questions to ponder:

§ Do you know anyone who is powerful yet meek?
§ Do you know anyone who is authoritative yet gentle?
§ Could your leadership be described as “meek” in the sense used here?
§ How would our work environments improve if our leaders were meek?

Dr Brené Brown’s insights have the power to be life changing because she articulates and deciphers some of our most damaging obstacles with clarity that we can understand. This is how we start positive transformation.

After you watch the video, tell me what had the biggest impression on you.

Find more at Brené Brown’s website.

My recommendations of Books by Brené

Every year some pranks are pulled on April Fool’s Day.

My kids were big into putting a rubber band on the kitchen sink sprayer. They would high five every time I forgot about it. (I let them have their fun and kept it rigged for most of the day, as they were at home on holiday.)

Redbox did a funny and enjoyable one too.

(click for full prank…it’s worth it for the cheese alone!)

I have been so occupied with my obligations of work, family, and grad school that I didn’t get to poke around and see what other pranks were had on a bigger scale.

What did I miss?

Offer some links to your favorites of this year (or any year) and let me know what I missed!

Reading for today:

 John 12:  1 Jesus, therefore, six days before the Passover, came to Bethany where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead.2 So they made Him a supper there, and Martha was serving; but Lazarus was one of those reclining at the table with Him.3 Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.4But Judas Iscariot, one of His disciples, who was intending to betray Him, said,5“Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and given to poor people?”6 Now he said this, not because he was concerned about the poor, but because he was a thief, and as he had the money box, he used to pilfer what was put into it.7 Therefore Jesus said, “Let her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of My burial.

Reflection:

Mary of Bethany wasn’t caught up in the excitement of a political revolution. James and John were gunning for cabinet positions but Mary saw Jesus as Anointed King and sacrificial Lamb of God. In the days before high-flow showers and frequent bathing, this costly fragrance would have lasted for days, and even while he hung on the cross.

Jesus our sweet and lasting fragrance.

Collect:

O’ God,

Give us the fragrance of the anointing of your Holy Spirit. 

Fill our lives with the aroma of grace.

May we understand your sacrifice

And prepare for our own burial

And rebirth with you

Amen.

image found here: http://xpensiveperfume.blogspot.com