This post is related to the hubbub about a alleged artifact from 400 years after Jesus.
Here’s an article of that and some of the new surrounding controversy that will make the validity of such a finding dubious at best. Just when it gets interesting it leaves you with nothing. Much like this whole hullabaloo will.
Discussing that is not the focus of this post.
Also, the image above is not a painting of the first knock-knock joke:
Voice in tomb: “Who’s there?”
Mary: “Mary…wait…um… you’re not Jesus, you’re an angel. What are you doing in here?!”
Voice in tomb: “Got ‘cha, Mary. Jesus is alive! and he looks a lot like the guy who takes care of this garden.”
The ancient papyrus lines in question (written in Coptic 400 years after Jesus) are in bold below:
The legible lines on the front of the artifact seem to be a conversation between Jesus and his disciples. The fourth line of the text says, “Jesus said to them, my wife.” Line 5 says “… she will be able to be my disciple,” while the line before the “wife” quote has Jesus saying “Mary is worthy of it” and line 7 says, “As for me, I dwell with her in order to …”
So, suppose this scrap contains the actual words of Jesus, could we solve the mystery?
Firstly, for context….remember the “Plank in the eye thing” Jesus said once…well, here’s the thing about that: That was Shtick.
So, maybe this is too.
“Jesus said to them, my wife….I mean, should I forego this dying for humanity stuff, my wife will be a great cook. Ya’ll know I love grilled fish, right?“
“…she will be my disciple, and I have a feeling she won’t be as big a pain in the rump as you guys have been.“
“Mary is worthy of it. And by “it” I mean R-E-S-P-E-C-T, yo.“
“You guys can stay over at Peter’s house, and for my sake, please patch up the roof from the other day. As for me, I dwell with her in order to get some freakin’ peace and quiet. You bicker constantly!“
You probably thought I’d say, “Jesus said to them, my wife…take my wife, please.” right?
NOW—you fill in the blanks. Finish Jesus’ sentences. (It’s not stuff from the Bible, so don’t worry. It’s not sinning if you’re adding text and meaning to a Coptic gag reel.)