Archive for disability

Ninja Interview with Janet Oberholtzer

Here’s Janet chatting with me about courage and hope. Find out at her website how you can get her book FREE.

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#PickMeEllen (Trying to help my neighbor boy get a wheelchair lift)

#PickMeEllen is Ellen Degeneres‘ project to spread some Christmas spirit. People tweet their requests using that hashtag. A few people will be chosen for Christmas surprises.

Please help me get a message to Ellen that my neighbor needs a wheel chair lift very badly. His mom carries him up the stairs from the road over her shoulder a few times per day. The railing is unusable and the stairs are cracked. She will fall, it’s only a matter of when. It’s very dangerous for her and him. I think it’s a great Christmas project to help them, and I need your help.Tweet this article, or contact the Ellen show (link on her name above.)

Hey, If I can’t get Ellen to be my Santa, will you help, if I set up a fund to raise money for Kristian?

Tweet this story, link to it, or do something to help about this sweet kid!

super steep stairs, crappy railing, pre-accident spot for Kristian and his mom

 

Kristian is 15 (he looks like a NiNJA in this pose a little, but actually he can't walk)

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Don’t Know Where to Start Your Ministry with the Disabled?

I Corinthians 12:22 In fact, the parts of the (church) body that seem weakest and least important are the most indispensable.

1 in 5 homes has a person with some kind of disability living in it. But they are not a statistic. They are a family who needs you. Sometimes I hear people say, “I’d really like to help, but I don’t know where to start.”

 

With so many needs, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But, one’s time and resources to help the disabled needn’t be expensive or difficult. The most important thing is showing up and allowing yourself to be used by God.

Many times those families in need want to know someone really cares, more than anything. They probably won’t be able to reach out and ask you for help, in the middle of struggling with their circumstances, but even small and simple efforts can bring them help, joy, and comfort.

Don’t start with a disability. Start with a family.

A Visual Guide to Ministry with the Disabled
I encourage you to use this Visual Guide to Ministry with the Disabled poster. I created it to help ministers and compassionate Christians aid the disabled in crucial ways. You can access it here. Please contact me if you have questions about it. This guide works through a logical progression of needs, and leads up to  interdependence, mutual care and ministry, which is what the Kingdom of God is all about.

This Visual Guide may be printed and distributed as needed, and is under a free use Creative Commons license that you see below.

Make your life be a blessing!

Creative Commons License
“Guide to Ministry with the Disabled” by Lisa Colón DeLay is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Available at docs.google.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available by contacting the creator at http://lisadelay.com.

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Mental Illness Awareness Month (Moody & All-or-Nothing Thinking)

Photography by Andreas Stridsberg

This month, I’ve been focusing some posts on mental health.

Today, it’s Borderline Personality Disorder. Sounds like something really weird, right? It’s surprised me to learn about this.

It’s a love/hate thing, and I think it’s a bit more common than either one of us realize. The description may surprise you, too. When you read it, co-workers, family members, friends, acquaintances, neighbors will come to mind, and you’ll think, “Whoa, you can diagnose this, for real?”

Wikipedia describes BPD as a prolonged disturbance of personality function characterized by depth and variability of moods.[n 1] Usually the disorder involves unusual levels of instability in moodblack and white thinking, or splitting.

The disorder often manifests itself in idealization and devaluation episodes, as well as chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationshipsself-imageidentity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual’s sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation, self-harm, or violence.[1]

BPD splitting (all-or-nothing thinking) includes a switch between idealizing and demonizing others. Obviously, this, combined with mood disturbances, can undermine relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

Sound like anyone you know?

Does this mean extremism is a mental disorder? hum?

Some Symptoms:

  • Fear of being abandoned
  • Feelings of emptiness and boredom
  • Frequent displays of inappropriate anger
  • Impulsiveness with interests, money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, or shoplifting
  • Intolerance of being alone
  • Repeated crises and acts of self-injury, such as wrist cutting or overdosing

Treatment and medication are helpful.

More here:
(National Center for Biotechnology InformationU.S. National Library of Medicine)

Did you find this information interesting? Let me know.

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Autumn & Mental Illness (Part 1)

bi-polar MacBeth art (by Wiktor Sadowski)

Is Autumn ‘Mental Illness Season’?
It seems like Autumn and Mental Illness come as a pair, sometimes. From what I’ve been able to observe, if one’s going to suffer with something mentally, it’ll usually be between September-Februrary. Seriously, have you noticed this? Think back. Let me know. Is it not enough sunlight? Too many emotionally taxing holidays? Too chilly? Something with barometric pressures? I don’t know. But, let’s get on the same page.

What is Good Health vs. Normal Health?
If you’re healthy and you get a cold once in a while, you’re normal. If you get colds more frequently, you’re “a bit sickly”…but still, mostly, normal. What about if instead of a headache, sore throat, breathing troubles, and cough, it is your brain that “gets a cold”?

There is no reason to believe that the brain (with regards to chemistry, function, nutrition, environmental influences, etc) won’t be susceptible to maladies too, just like other parts of the body are. Science shows us clear indicators of genetic components. So, one can be prone to bad knees, or tendonitis, or sympathetic nervous system brain issues that make one prone to panic attacks, etc.

Of course, when one’s brain is ill, things can go badly quickly. For instance, one may be one’s worst advocate to resume health or find healing, if it is thinking which is impaired. Somehow, the brain (or we could say the “mind”: feelings/emotions + reason/intellect) gets tossed to another category when we think of the frailties of human illness. Saying you “sprained your brain” isn’t met with the same sympathy as saying you sprained your back, am I right?

Do We Love the Mentally Ill?
It’s an “untouchable,” or at least uncomfortable, category where someone’s inherent worth, inclusion in community, or spiritual devotion can be called into question. “Aw, uncle Boss? Sure he did that, he’s been more nuts ever since his time in the military…”

It’s a category we may fear or avoid talking about. Lines separating sane and insane get drawn. Such determinations sideline love, undermine grace, and even harm the true gospel message. Being “crazy” means that some one is alone in a special way. The numbers of Homeless who have a history of severe mental illness is about 25% (2009 National Coalition for the Homeless study).

So, if someone has brittle bones, falls, and breaks both legs? He’ll probably get more compassion or understanding than someone prone to mental illness who undergoes a bout with mania ending in a spending spree. Am I right?

The facts tell us that mental illnesses happen, more “normally” than we may care to imagine. Yet, it is those who are ill in the brain who feel so isolated and rejected during their tough times, compared to people who suffer in other ways.

For my Disability Studies class, I’m reading and learning not just about physical, and mental development impairments (wheelchairs and special education folks), but also of brain illness (mental illness). These are all people of the margins. Truly.

Darkness is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness, by Kathryn Greene-McCreight (Brazos Press 2006), is one of my course texts. I highly recommend it. Kathryn manages her Bipolar disorder, is theologian (Yale), an associate Episcopal priest, and a captivating writer.

See the Book.

Depression is one of the most common brain chemistry issues. By the year 2020, depression will be the 2nd most common health problem in the world. Read the rest of the Fast Fact Statistics here.

Here are the Symptoms of Depression from Greene-McCreight’s book, page 170.

5 or more of these 13 symptoms over a 14 day period, or if these symptoms interfere with a person’s normal life is considered Mental Illness or in this case, specifically, Depression.

• Major changes in appetite or sleep patterns

• Uncharacteristic irritability, anger

• Feeling sad, crying more than usual

• Worries, anxieties

• Pessimism, feelings of failure

• Loss of energy, libido

• Unexplained physical aches and pains

• Hopelessness, guilt

• Inability to concentrate or make decisions

• Inability to carry out or care about personal hygiene (showering, brushing teeth, etc.)

• Lack of enjoyment in things formerly enjoyed

• No desire to socalize

• Recuring thoughts of death or suicide

Has this ever been you, or someone you know?

Probably.
See, it’s fairly “normal”.

What are some ideas for helping those with mental illness? Your input is vital for this conversation. Thank you for your contributions, and spreading the word.

Here’s a Resource: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance 
800-826-3632 

In Part II of this series, I’ll cover the symptoms of Mania and Schizophrenia…and more is to come.

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Transcending gendered language. Capacitarianism… is, & is not…

Freddy, worshiping.

As I move toward a more formed definition of how gender issues can be transcended in the Kingdom of God, I’m hitting some roadblocks obstacles. Very expectedly, too.

This “Capacitarian” proposal, if you will indulge this term, is not all cut and dry…like so many abstract things, that must come to fruition by enactment. I continue to solicit your thoughts, and input. No, I won’t give the pretense of having a fully-formed argument. “In-process” is the operative word for this excursion. Yet, I bother to bring it up, in the first place, because I see some glaring shortcomings in our current models.

If you see some, too. I hope you’ll mention them.

(And yes, I made up the word for this proposal:  ”Capacitarian” Pronounced: <CAP-pass-it-Tarry-ann>)

Why does the term “egalitarian” fail us?
A few have (rightly, I might add)  asked, something like, “If you want men and women to be treated and appreciated with equal worth, why don’t you just say, or use the term “egalitarian”?”

Here are a few reasons:

• Egalitarianism (proper) is too closely associated with politics and economic interests. It always has been. This has a consequential, and incongruent for our purposes, legal component, too. It is an interference, not a boon, to Kingdom life and the enactment of the gospel.

Egalitarianism, as in “Christian Egalitarianism”, is most often understood as “the idea that men and women can and should function as equals in the church,” even if (or though) the true meaning is broader. The word means something beyond gender, like, rich and poor should function as equals…able-bodied and disabled…you get the idea. The prevailing connotation has undermined the term, making it less helpful. Simply put: “Egalitarianism,” the term, is not accurate enough. It shortchanges the bigger idea of what God is up to.

• God’s economy never really jives with our own. The actual working out of egalitarianism proves this, as well. It’s not enough to say, “We’re equal, let’s act that way.” Remember something called the Jim Crow laws from 9th grade history class? (Or, even better, maybe you recall them from experience. Separate but equal is ruse, whether intentionally or not.)

The difference is that a worldview change is in order, not just a mode or method of equalizing the parties involved.

• So, I propose we let go of using human economic terms which will move the conversation forward.

Likewise, if we use words for this issue that connote or speak in terms of power, (be it: social, political, gender, economic, racial, etc) we commence at the same starting point as we’ve had before. A secular starting point.

• This faulty starting point inherently undercuts the ironically nonpolitical (apolitical) quality of Kingdom life. My idea is to get away from human-centric thinking, not co-opt with it. There is a reversal of power in God’s economy, but not an antithetical reversal. So, we’re speaking of a whole new model where one cannot simply speak of things in reverse to properly apprehend it, or put it to rights.

• Equal opportunity of the members in the Body isn’t determined primarily by sentiments that “We are all of equal worth in the eyes of God.” True as this is, it is better sourced in the nature of God as person (a.k.a. “personhood”) *See note below. God’s Story is the starting point.

Capacitarianism
• It is in the very nature of God to forgo favoritism based on things humans would see as advantageous. We may give equal opportunity because we think that it is right or just. But this worldview is not about righting wrongs, or getting it right as (humanly speaking) its fundamental application point. Rather, it’s a new way of seeing and living in this world…Kingdom Come. [Theo-centric worldview]

So, moving forward we adopt that characteristic of God for our ways of relating too. Well, more than adopt. We absorb, and live and breath it. (It is the basis of our relating.)

• It is in the overarching plans of God (as seen in the whole of Scripture) that each one of us is “set free”. We reach our full potential as this occurs. We transcend, not just overcome our cultural bondage, et.al.. (See this Lukian passage, and the prophet Isaiah)

• Thus, restrictions based on finite qualities (nationality, gender, physical ability, financial prosperity, etc.) have nothing to do with God’s nature, and his vantage point. All those restrictions are eschewed. Being “set free” is the telos of creation.

Harmonious/loving relationship, not (primarily) equality, is main aim of children of God…Kingdom citizens, in this proposal.

Paul advises this, speaking often of and encouraging unity in the Body.
Tri-unity (Trinity) is the essence of God. God: Communion and Love reciprocated ad infinitum.

• Hierarchy, then,  for our purposes, is a non issue (off the table), in any typical way we would be able to apprehend it, from a human understanding or from our experience. So, I contend that we cannot do well to draw on our flawed applications of so-called hierarchy if we are to move forward on this issue.

One more consideration on the particulars:
I propose that the idea of “the last will be first” is not a speaking of reversal of fortune, or class/status, but a full dismantling of human interaction, economy, epistemology, and eschatology as we have known it. That is to say: we don’t have a good way to gauge who is last or first, as we normally perceive life. I should also say that this means we will be very surprised who may or may not be “first”…whatever that means to God. It will likely mean something different to God, in itself, than to our understanding. God is speaking in terms, and will actualize terms in God’s way. It won’t look like what we imagine it will. I’m not sure his ways ever really have. The whole manner of the Messiah thing/Incarnation came as quite a shock, for instance.

What Capacitarian cannot be:
With regard to studying the marginalized, and in particular the disabled, it is critical to note that “capacity” in human intellectual, ability, or physical terms is not the pivot point for Capacitarian thinking. The capacity denoted has to do with the Holy Spirit giving us capacity for his good work. And, “work” he what God determines it is…which may just be lying there, vegetative, and soaking in Divine love.

A case in point: A severely mentally disabled child is given great grace and capacity by God. A simple, pure, and powerful faith and enjoyment of God which may not be attained by her “normal” peers or her church family in the same capacity. She may revel in worship music, with her whole soul (being); given capacity to be aware of and experience God’s holy love in that very moment.

Likewise, others historically on the margins of society may be afforded capacity in gifting, and understanding, and the Body of Christ utilizes each one in their unique way. (This may not appear to be equal in application, or role, but it is not gender-based either.)

• Suffering, or experiencing trials, it seems increases the opportunities for said capacity. (See James 1)

Each member of the body is given full honor. Each has a gift to give to the Body.

To be continued, next week!

Your thoughts are welcome during this process. Leave your comments.

* Note that person and personality is not exclusive to humanity (human persons), but rather refers to a being, individuality, or creatureliness, plus relational capacity. A being is a person, even a divine being is, in the case that this being is accessible (imminent). Basic Theology asserts God is both transcendent and imminent. God is a Person, Three-in-one.

Next post! The promised interview with Caleb Wilde, Funeral Director and author of the upcoming book, Confessions of a Funeral Director: Working Between This World and the Next.

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Juvenile Atheism, and Bunny Studies. (a profound update)

Nathan is my little bunny

I have been observing the spiritual journey of my autistic son, Nathan, quite closely for the last three or four weeks. If you haven’t been following the posts about it, here, this is the short version of the backstory:

Nathan, as of a few months ago, professed to not believing in God. This is a  change from his former beliefs. He now claims that God, the Bible, and the stories of Christianity are “unbelievable stories,” as he says. It’s fake. A fraud.

The undertaking
To me, it seemed like the perfect time to more closely explore spiritual formation (a.k.a. discipleship) and theology as it pertains to disability. Besides encouraging Nathan in his spiritual formation (no matter how messy or personally unsettling or uncomfortable), I’ve hoped to learn from him, and share my findings. This includes studying on the theology of disability, and documenting Nathan’s time of exploration, with respect for my son’s unique spiritual growth process and experience of the world. For my readers, I’ve hoped to encourage deeper thought and consideration about spiritual growth, and the nature of God.

Where things are now
My attention to Nathan’s beliefs and journey, and the recording of them have reached a blockade. Nathan has expressed that he does not want to be filmed, and wants to not speak about the subject. He’s not ready to go about things this way. I will respect this. His basic sentiment is emotional, and preferential, not logical or given to dialogue. So, I will to put this closer study (at least of him, in a personal way) on hold, until a time comes when it seems productive to pick up with it again. I’ll post about it, occasionally, as insights, changes, or advancements occur. This story is far from over.

Bunny Studies
I got up early this morning and went out on the porch with my coffee to enjoy the unseasonably mild morning weather and take in the sights of the creatures that are neighbors with us. We have a few nests, some very vocal birds, several rabbit families, and a very clever chipmunk who has constructed an elaborate series of tunnels that I suspect could be a secret lair. This morning I saw him enter and leave two different homes, scale a brick chimney, shoot into the roof gutter, and out of sight, maybe to the attic of my neighbor’s home. Clearly, he’s up to something.

I saw a mother rabbit and her bunny nibbling at the dewy clover. They were relaxed in their surroundings, and quite hungry. It made me think of one of my favorite children’s stories: The classic called  The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. The bunny hopes to be free from his mother, and tells her all the ways he plans to runaway. The mother rabbit does not tell him stay, but rather shows her steadfast love for him. She accepts his wild heart. She comforts him. For every idea he shares about leaving, she has a plan to love him faithfully and reunite with him. This story was refered to in a theological way profoundly in a  film I saw called Wit starring Emma Thompson. It’s a movie that changed me, and help me see God, better.

Wit was adapted from the play W;t, by Margaret Edson. ( In the context of the play, the semicolon refers to the recurring theme of the use of a semicolon versus a comma in one of John Donne’s Holy Sonnets.) Wit won the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. The main character, Vivan, a college English professor, is dying of ovarian cancer. At the end, Vivan’s admired, former-professor and mentor comes to visit while she is in town for her great-grandson’s birthday. She comforts her and offers to read to her a Donne sonnet. Vivian, scarcely conscious, declines. So instead, Dr Ashford reads from Margaret Wise Brown‘s The Runaway Bunny, which she had bought for her great-grandson. She remarks that it offers a lovely “allegory of the soul”: Wherever the soul tries to hide, God, comfortingly, will find it. (This section was taken from Wikipedia. Read it in full, here.)

God is our Mother Rabbit. For my son, I am a flesh and blood representation of God to him. I am his mother rabbit, and his is my beloved bunny.

I realize, even more thoroughly than I had realized before, that part of growing up includes the professions of and steps toward independence. Perhaps consistent love faithfulness are the most helpful things we can offer children who are not yet mature enough to make their own way in the world.

Thank you for coming along for this leg of the journey. Your thoughts or comments are quite welcome here.

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