Lisa Colón DeLay

It’s normal but unsettling…

The period of time when we return to normal life after an event such as a conference or gathering. The Story Conference in Chicago is just that sort of thing.

I woke up today with a palpable need to self-soothe. The stress of travel, new surroundings, increased interactions, imparted wisdom, and stimulation overload unearthed deeper pain.

Creativity and pain hold hands. Did you know that?

The one helps the other and vice versa.

Interactions and creative energy revive us at a wonderful conference like STORY, but the let down happens just afterwards, and we scarcely feel ready for it.

Pain surfaces after our experiences and without the tools to do well with it, and the spiritual friendship and mentoring to make sense of it (a.k.a. SOUL CARE), we can make poor decisions or fail to thrive in the aftermath of something so initially nourishing.

You’ll find yourself doing what I’ve done:

Distracting yourself (be it with tech, food, friends, or hobbies)

withdrawing (disconnecting from others)

feeling angry or discontent (do I really need to explain this???…GEEEZE! …er….whoops)

The inspiration shifts to frustration or let down. 

But this is the time when divine stirrings are greatest. Spiritual companionship is a way to work through this time and grow. It can be a time of hope instead of confusion or awkwardness.

What are some of the emotions you feel in the days after a great and uplifting event?

If you’re interested learn more about spiritual guidance here. Or find a director/companion near you using the directory here.

Here’s my first video of my STORY 2012 adventure in Chicago: packing.

It’s an introduction and a few packing tips I’ve picked up along the way. (Perhaps the only usable skill I gained as a kid from a divorced home. Thanks mom and dad!)

Most videos from my journey this week will go straight to the special youtube channel (for this and other adventures), and not be posted here on the blog. So, after today get the latest news and adventure in video form when you go here.

I’ll post updates and include videos and photos on my twitter and Facebook outlets.

The whole collection of 5 Volumes is here on KINDLE.
(For a brief description click the volume number)

Volume 1: What is the Soul? & What is Soul Care?
Volume 2: Identity and Belonging
Volume 3: The 8 Paths of Learning
Volume 4: Slumps, Burnout, and Frustration
Volume 5: God’s Grand Story (I saved the best for last)

Enter the proverbial vehicle analogy:
When a car runs out of gas it doesn’t mean the car is abnormal, it just means that it needs the maintenance of being filled up regularly. Your “soul tank” empties out too. This Series gives you what you need to be a healthy and joyful message-bearer.

Here’s a video introduction to Volume 5, with a whimsical homage to author and influencer, Donald Miller.

If you have any problems with ordering, let me know!

click for photo source

In the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar, actress Demi Moore replies to the question, “What scares you?” by saying,

“If I were to answer it just kind of bold-faced, I would say what scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me … What scares me the most is not knowing and accepting that just about everything is not in my control. That makes me feel unsafe.”

Some people may claim the Hollywood starlet is speaking of a “God-shaped void” as Blaise Pascal once referred to it. But wait just a minute…

Not everybody will admit to this sort of thing. Some never gaze inward long enough to see it. But there it is. While many won’t realize what what the jilted Moore is talking about for themselves, I think this women has hit on a fundamentally human frailty fraught with universal relevancy. (And it has virtually nothing to do, in fact, with a certain shaggy-headed addition to the Two And A Half Man sitcom.) This frailty, I might add, is not actually negative, as we might first imagine, but rather part of the vulnerability that is the stuff of being human.

It’s these same underlying and exquisitely human fears that we mask, medicate, bury, avoid, deflect, or anesthetize, that cause all manner of destructive behaviors and coping mechanisms. For Demi, who was just hospitalized for stress-related health issues (namely exhaustion…and likely malnutrition), it can create potent consequences. It’s something wealth, influence, fame, accolades, and beauty doesn’t seem to ameliorate. Curious, no?

For many religion or spiritual practice helps to blunt the reality of our human predicament, but clearly that alone doesn’t seem to actually mend the situation. I refer not to just the situation of being mortal, but of being fundamentally impotent. Rarely is this gnawing sense placated for long. Demi, for one, is connected to the practice of Kabblah, but it hasn’t helped this core need.

Though her vulnerability and frailties are up for public scrutiny, many possess the same sorts of fears and maladies, and even despair, but go unnoticed.

To me, our condition seems unmendable…purposefully, that is.

Christians may argue they are the exception; they feel a great sense of hope because of belief in Jesus Christ, arriving to our world as the incarnation of God to make a pathway back to God. Alas, Redemption! Closure, right? Yet a cursory survey of believers (even 3 minutes scanning twitter feeds) show they too are rife with the same sorts of problems as Moore, and Jesus hasn’t seemed to fix that for them.

(The particulars of why are widely speculated and even hotly contested. Some call for more faith and prayer, while others osmotically move into greater embracing of “the mysteries”.)

The funny things is, I get Demi. I feel those things too. I wrestle with them, and I’ve taken up the journey to walk through all the rough patches, which are aplenty.

I think it’s high time to bring what it means to be human out it the open.

A kind of unlearning happens as we grow wiser, and the sort of acceptance of our weaknesses may take hold as we become more acquainted with our human condition. Maturity I think it’s called. The “Will we ever get there?” question lingers.

What do you think about Demi’s quote?

Do you relate to her, or do you see things differently?

Enjoy PART II of my conversation with Blaine Hogan.

For fantastic BONUS VIDEO footage with Blaine on leadership, authenticity, and doing the messy work of healing click here.

One more bonus video piece will be released next week. Get access to this and all upcoming bonus videos and extras, by clicking the contact me tab on your right.

You might remember Blaine Hogan as the character he played Seth “Cherry” Hoffner in the television series Prison Break (Scroll to the bottom for a quick lesson on what happens to “Cherry”…but brace your self, it’s raw stuff. PG-10.)

Now Blaine’s the Creative director of the ginormous Willow Creek Community Church in the Chicago area…multiple campuses–one church is how they put it. This Christmas, when plenty of people skipped out on morning church to do Christmasy things, 80,000 turned up at Willow Creek. Yes. 4 zeros are in that number. There’s some amazing stuff coming from Blaine’s creative team, and you should check it out.

Below is the first of a short series of videos with Blaine talking about his new film which he directed, his recent book, creativity, Christian artists, his new project on the ministry of Storytelling in the Inventive Age, and plenty more. For writers, artists, performers, musicians, and any other people who appreciate creating, you’ll love what Blaine shares.

(Please note that some content listed will not be released publicly, here or on youtube. If you’d like to get this bonus video material, please use the contact form on the right sidebar to gain access, or what is referred to as “FREE Savvy”.)

prison break demo from blaine hogan on Vimeo

Kristin Tennant (blogger at halfway to normal) a.k.a. kt_writes gets a NiNJA Interview. Great stuff (If the interviewee spits out coffee while watching it, I think I’ve done my job.)

Tell me what you think…
about SURPRISE.

NiNJA What?
A series of 5-6 min. interviews.

Who?
Creatives, writers, bloggers, humorous types, thought leaders, & fav ppl.

When?
Within 1 week (and then continuing)

Who’s in them?
So far this is by invitation only. They are surprises, hence the NiNJA theme. Featured interviewee are allowed to Nominate new interviewees.

Can I get a “NiNJA interview”…I’m super cool?

The coveted Nominee Badge

Maybe. If you wish to be considered…contact a featured interviewee and seek a nomination from them. If they agree to sponsor you, they can even send you a Nominee Badge for your website.

Send me a link your website, and/or pitch to me (under 100 words) and tell me what you have to say in a “NiNJA interview”. (Such as a creative idea, a useful tip, a book/film/project/album/art work, or something else that falls into the awesomeness category.) These pitch ideas won’t have the sway that a Nomination has, and I cannot accommodate every request, (NiNJAs are an elite bunch after all). However, I’ll be in touch within 72 hours, if I’m interested, because you have wowed me.

Thank you. That is all.

In my first post, I dropped a “boom post”. This is the 2nd one. So, I guess you could say I’m gonna drop a deuce today. You might hate it. Or you might start to asking better questions of yourself, or get real in a new way. Most of all, I hope you can stick with us, pitch in, and share in the discussion. You are entering a whimp-free zone.

Disclaimers & Circumventing the “Porn is healthy vs. Porn is sin” Territory
Okay. Okay. Now, I realize, plenty of people, Christians included, don’t see much harm in watching some sexual content. Maybe explicit porn, or perhaps something “more vanilla” like maybe just some  sexually voyeuristic program that’s not that “graphic”. Here’s the bad news for you. I am not drawing a distinction in degrees of “porn badness”. I’m lumping. Don’t like it? Take your lumps, okay?

And for you “biblical terms” enthusiasts, you could also be disappointed. I hope your grace is sufficient for me, because I’m committed to not getting bogged down “describing categories and terms” that get people super distracted …the “sin” word… being the big one. This series isn’t the place or time to debate its merits, or squabble over spiritual terminology. (If you wish to do that, good…just go do it on your blog.)

Rather, I am claiming, from the onset, that explicit material is damaging. period. I begin from there. If  this upsets you, or convicts you, then I’m onto something. Let’s go.

This Series…
is to tackle unhealthy habits, or tendencies, we might not want to talk about or admit that we do. Maybe we think it’s better to be polite than truthful. You know, putting on a righteous show…meeting expectations, or at lest managing them. Looking put together. We all know that game. Or, maybe we’re just scared to confess it. Well, no more. Let’s take a direct hit to it. BOOM.

The Goal
Let’s create an atmosphere that will lead us closer to the best God has for us. I refer you to an obvious pick for a guiding verse. Phil. 4:8. (Feel free to submit your own helpful passage, in the comments section.)

STATS
Simply put: The stats are as obvious as they are deplorable. I know, if you’re at your computer, or on your smart phone, that you’ve seen porn, or at the very least, something lewd. Heck an R-rated movie or book is enough. With such easy access, and search engines being how they are, you’ll see it. You have. That’s a given.

But let’s ask the tougher questions: What role does it play in your life? Do you search it out? What does it do rent-free inside your head? When do you “go there”? Do you linger a bit because you think no one will know? How is it hurting you? …because it is. Start Asking Yourself the Tough Questions.

Now, absorb these few stats…
(Even if you don’t view it, someone you know does. So, then I ask you to learn something and try to be helpful.)

* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women
* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month
Internet Filter Review More info here.

* August 7,2006: 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; and 20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis.

From the results of a ChristiaNet poll reported by Marketwire.com

The next post in this Series is on the subtle and not-so-subtle triggers for viewing sexual content…in women… (Because that’s my gender status…and they say…”write what you know”. I find this rather inconvenient sometimes, but there you have it.)

But Guys, wait a sec.
Though this issue has been covered a bunch already from the male-use perspective, I hope you will think about the topic for tomorrow and weigh in on your own personal triggers. Because they”ll be different than mine…
or will they?

Here’s today’s question of the day:
When was the last time you purposefully OR accidentally saw something sexually explicit? Are you brave enough to say? I hope so.

For me it was last week.
It’ll happen when I’m doing a truly innocent google search for a blog post visual. Then, boom, up pops something ghastly. Damn you, google! Damn you, indeed. The last time I stayed for a second glance was 11/13/11. How’s that for honest?

So, until next time….
Bounce those eyes, people. Bounce those eyes. (Related link…)

(Must be a dog blog. hum. Could this just be a kitty laughing, or must it be a freak out?)

In a previous post, I promised I would review some blogs and give a report on my favorites.

First, bear in mind that I read probably 20-30 blogs regularly, and others occasionally. For this reason, I won’t cover all of the ones I like, today. Now, don’t feel offended if yours, or one you dig, didn’t make it in. Instead, submit links of up to 3 of your favorite blogs in the comments, and we’ll visit them. I’ll consider them in a future “Blogs I Like” blog in January.

Also, I won’t cover blogs from super well-known people (think: kickin’ Alexa Rating), especially if I’ve already mentioned them in past posts.

Here are some new blogs I’ve started reading quite recently because of reader recommendations, or other connections:

Students of Jesus: Taking the Yoke of Discipleship Ray Hollenbach’s blog has a rich meditative vibe. Good content and thoughtful.

Teh=The Warwick Fuller is a bookish, 25% hipster, and an active dad and husband, who pens some worthwhile stuff. He’s fairly random with his topics, but I’m a fan. I also have a personal preference for his “Nana Stories” which are offbeat and charming.

Between the Sheets: A Novelist’s Adventures Heather Webb’s blog post are often delicious. Although I wish she posted more often, when she does she will often include amazing recipes.

Telling Stories Courtney Walsh is a scrappy author and scrapbooker whose site is awash in great visuals (photos, art, etc.), plus stories, and stuff on food, parenting, domestic diva/homemaking themes, rural life, and such. Likable!

Mom to 5: Full Time Mom, Part Time Sanity Sherri Jason has a great sense of humor, and she needs to, she’s be pregnant for years (if you add it all up). This reproductive quality is sort of a family tradition. Her sister Ginny also has 5 kids, and does guest posts on some Fridays, called Funny Farm Fridays. The antics of busy family life abound here, and many a busy parent can relate, or just be contented to know they don’t and won’t have enough children for a basketball team.

Awake My Soul Laura Crosby’s blog is insightful, honest, and nicely written. It’s a fairly recent venture (Feb 2011), but her welcome page made me realize that we’ve had the same sorts of thoughts about bloggers and blogging. So far, so good, Laura!

5 Personal Favorites:
Blogs and Bloggers for whom I make time to read…who are also not in the category of  ”widely famed”…yet.

These authors post with predictability (most of the time) and have high quality content. Two musts for me to be a loyalist. (Yes, the list ought to be much longer, but I’m setting myself a limit…5….because I’m told this is healthy behavior.)

Ed Cyzewski Blog - In a Mirror Dimly is one of those blogs that is just consistently top notch. Ed posts frequently, and his installments can deepen your thinking, encourage you, and offer great insights. He focuses on spiritual things, practical theology, and writing. He’ll also write on other things he likes, gardening/canning, the outdoors, and rabbits.

Caleb Wilde‘s blog Confessions of a Funeral Director: Working At the Crossroads of This World and the Next might sound, well…dark and morbid, at first blush. Death is after all macabre. What is surprising and winsome about this blog is that Caleb offers hope, as a matter of course. His unique insights on living and yes, dying, are worth the read.

Christopher Cocca: Chris is funny, quirky, and interesting–all stuff I like. He’s sort of a hippie, too, in a nice way. This makes me feel young and “with it”. I’m hooked. Another great thing about Chris is that he’s generous, and regularly shares the love by promoting other writers.

Thom Turner Writer, editor (for GENERATE magazine), poet, and soulful guy, Thom has a blog called Everyday Liturgy. It’s a perfect read for a short and potent spiritual shot in your day. Lately he’s also been blogging about Food and Christian ethics. A weird mix, you say? Maybe, but it gets you thinking. And think you should. (sorry..got a wee bit yoda on ya’ll) I’m looking forward to Thom’s prayer book project as well.

Brett McCracken This hipster-esque writer is under-rated. Though he’s written for some big outfits The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, CNN.com, The Princeton Theological Review, Mediascape, Books & Culture, and Christianity Today, to name a few, plus a very enjoyable book…

…I get the sense that he’s not receiving the props or reader traffic he truly deserves at his Still Searching blog. It’s like a “best kept secret” type of thing. Well, not on my watch, peoples. Not. On. My. Watch. Brett writes about culture, film, art, books, and stuff you’d expect to overhear at a college coffeehouse, if erudite students were hanging out…ya know, chillaxin’ and sh–tuff (Whoops, no one says chillaxin‘. It’s long “over,” dudes.) So. Right. Brett is pensive and interesting.

Who did I miss?

Ash Fox

Ash: You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I- I don’t have one, but I modified this tube sock.  (Fantastic Mr Fox, 2009)

If you feel ill-equiped, you are not alone.

I’m not sure that anyone really feels like they fit in.

Today, is a day to take courage. Modify your tube sock, and take on the big things that matter. No, you probably won’t look the part. But, that’s not what’s important.

What matters is using your talents and skills for the things you are passionate about, that also make your effort part of something bigger than you. If you’ve lost your passion, remember the lesson of the humble tube sock. It can be modified.

Remember too, that the “big things” won’t be the same for everyone…or maybe anyone. Give yourself permission to have your own “big things” (read: unique ideas). Courage and passion are inextricably linked.

What have you needed courage for lately?

Inspire us: What gives you courage?

Highly Recommended Viewing: Fantastic Mr. Fox

I’m a big fan of Brett McCracken, the author of Hipster Christianity (Baker, 2010). He is a regular blogger I read too, here.

Art, and specifically, film, have a unique way of introducing themes and truths, even those we’ve forgotten. Or it may re-intorducing ones we have forgot that we forgot. The Big Fish (Tim Burton) did this for me.

I haven’t seen the film The Tree of Life, from Terrence Malick, but my enthusiasm is now whet.

Like the narrative style of the Bible, story can bypass our protective–but growth inhibiting–cynicism, or shortcut our ineffectual preconceptions. Apparently, The Tree of Life may have this in spades.

Here’s the wooing The Tree of Life article done for RELEVANT magazine, by Brett McCracken.

And here’s a short Excerpt I really enjoyed:

Finding “Christ figures” and “redemptive themes” in the movies can be overdone and convoluted, but if ever there were films where it was appropriate and natural, it would be Malick’s films…The Tree of Life, for example, is one gigantic whistle-stop tour through existence, taking us from Genesis to Revelation, reflecting on the nature of God all along the way. As Roger Ebert says of Life: “It’s a form of a prayer.”

Trailer:

What is your most recent “favorite film,”
and why?

Sophie Marceau or me?

Sophie Marceau ( pronounced <mar-Só> ) is a French actress, writer and director.  Today, a friend and blogging buddy asked me if anyone ever mentioned that I resemble her.

I figured out who she was for certain when I googled her. She’s one of the Bond girls, in “The World is Not Enough” (1999) and has acted in 35 films.

This has to be one of the nicest comments said (inadvertently, mind you) on my Birthday, since…well, maybe the early 1990s.

Neither me nor Sophie can help how we look (to a certain extent), but it’s still a nice boost to hear an affable comment like that, on a day when one considers the aging process in more depth. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d be affected so deeply, let alone bother to blog about it. But, it goes to show just how far kind words can go, especially on special days. Let’s remember that concept today. :)

So, on this “special day”, I want to take a little time, right now, to thank all of you for reading the posts here. You, make it a joy. May you be blessed.
xoxo

-Lisa