Lisa Colón DeLay

Frédéric Renaud via Compfight

{Here is a picture of your soul, the garden where you and God meet.}

This is the final post in a two month series on Discernment. I’d love to know what you’ve learned on the way. What insights did you gain? To go back and refresh your mind start by clicking the discernment tag above to read the other articles in the series.

Here are some of the things we’ve learned:

• Understanding God’s will has everything to do with listening well and getting familiar with the voice and ways of God.

• God is always at work.

• Desolation in our spirit cannot come from God.

• Silence creates a sacred space that makes room for God and improves our hearing.

(You probably blasted through those bullet points, all speedy like, because you have things to do…so, please just take 8 more seconds and read the point points again just a smidgeon more slowly.)

Our Interior World
As we go into our interior world prayerfully and with the Holy Spirit, moving past and through the hurts and baggage, the clatter and the striving, we eventually find ourselves found in the One who loves us and created us. He is in and through us, not separated from us. He is everywhere present and in every time present. He is down deep waiting. So we awaken.

We see that God has given us Eden within, and just as before–as the ancient narrative tells us–we are charged to care for and cultivate it. We are found in the garden.

This understanding and solace in God is keenly found in the Contemplative Tradition of Christianity which will be covered in greater depth in the next few weeks. (So if you don’t want miss it just sign up for new content special-delivery-style in the sidebar.)

Do you have questions about contemplative prayer? Let me know.

This is the second-to-last post in this two month (Jan-Feb) Series on Discernment. (Read all of them by clicking the discernment tag above)

I was going over my notes from my last meeting with my spiritual director and I came across this quote from Francis de Sales that she shared with me:

“Seek not the consolations of God. Seek the God of all consolation.”

That seeking is the kind of theology we do kneeling. That is to say, in prayer. But in prayer we don’t have to strive and be active. We can just show up.

This is God’s work.

What are your thoughts?

“If you truly love God and his will, then doing what you will, will, in fact, be doing what God wills.” – Peter Kreeft

Many of us strive to learn or discover God’s will. But, it can be confusing.

Dr Peter Kreeft offers 5 insights:

• Always begin with data

with what we know for sure. Judge the unknown by the known, the uncertain by the certain. Adam and Eve neglected that principle in Eden and ignored God’s clear command and warning for the devil’s promised pig in a poke.

• Let your heart educate your mind

Let your love of God educate your reason in discerning his will. Jesus teaches this principle in John 7:17 to the Pharisees. (Would that certain Scripture scholars today would heed it!) They were asking how they could interpret his words, and he gave them the first principle of hermeneutics (the science of interpretation): “If your will were to do the will of my Father, you would understand my teaching.” The saints understand the Bible better than the theologians, because they understand its primary author, God, by loving him with their whole heart and their whole mind.

• Have a soft heart but a hard head

  We should be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves,” sharp as a fox in thought but loyal as a dog in will and deed. Soft-heartedness does not excuse soft-headedness, and hard-headedness does not excuse hard-heartedness.

• All God’s signs should line up

  by a kind of trigonometry. There are at least seven such signs: (1) Scripture, (2) church teaching, (3) human reason (which God created), (4) the appropriate situation, or circumstances (which he controls by his providence), (5) conscience, our innate sense of right and wrong, (6) our individual personal bent or desire or instincts, and (7) prayer. Test your choice by holding it up before God’s face. If one of these seven voices says no, don’t do it. If none say no, do it.

• Look for the fruits of the spirit

  especially the first three: love, joy, and peace. If we are angry and anxious and worried, loveless and joyless and peaceless, we have no right to say we are sure of being securely in God’s will. Discernment itself should not be a stiff, brittle, anxious thing, but—since it too is part of God’s will for our lives—loving and joyful and peace-filled, more like a game than a war, more like writing love letters than taking final exams.

Do you agree… disagree… or have any thoughts on Dr Kreeft’s insights?

Click to read the rest of the (lengthy) article.

Installments in this Discernment Series have often been on Fridays, but this week, I have a special announcement Friday. Come back for that.

Or, never miss new content…click the update link in the right sidebar (top)

Once a week for the next 2 months I will be covering the topic of discernment. We’ll learn how to discern much better!

I can hardly think of a theme that comes up more often than “trying to find our way”.

Especially for those of us who create or try to be intentional and grow.

Some think of discernment as “finding God’s will”, some as “knowing with path to take at a fork in the road”, some as “discovering or actualizing one’s calling”, and some think of it as learning to be better and more consistently attuned to God’s voice.

Many don’t realize that about 500 years ago a very keen and practical guide to discernment was created to teach Christians and Christian leaders how to discern the voice of God. Through the practice of these Spiritual Exercises (Ignatius of Loyola), we can be guided with far less angst and far greater freedom and peace as we choose our way and listen for God’s voice.

Millions of believers have undertaken learning and applying these sage writings on the topic, and consequently have better allowed the Holy Spirit to guide their life. Others find great solace in participating in Ignatian retreats. The spirituality influenced by Ignatian involves “find God in all things” and “laboring with God in the divine project of healing the world”. Prayer and action are combined as the spiritual muscles of experiencing God’s abundant love and hearing his voice develop.

Since basic theology tells us that God is everywhere present.  (Of course, whether we actually live this out as we believe it is antoher matter.)

Like King David tells us of God in his poetry, there is no place God is not. Psalm 139.

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave,^a you are there.

The study and exercise of Ignatian principles to improve the abilities of discernment involve the intellect, emotion, memory, and will.

I’ll be sharing those ways and methods here regularly to help you become categorically better at discernment.
Starting now:

What is the first exercise in learning discernment?
Preparing the “soil of one’s heart”.

Imagine that you’ve never run more than a few blocks in your entire lifetime. And maybe when you did it was just to avoid getting bitten by a dog or to catch the ice cream truck. How easy would it be to get up out of bed one early Saturday morning and complete a marathon without ever training your body?  (What is it 26 point something miles? UGH.)

OUCH. . .would be the key word. Oh, and failure.

Beneficial and godly discernment requires that your heart and mind do some prep work too. Some inventory and reflection is needed. Some opening of our will to God. Some asking God to make you ready to hear his voice, change and work on your heart and mind, and improve your hearing (mainly, but not just the spiritual kind).

Start with these few questions:

Focus in on the area that requires discernment then ask,
1. What have I done in the past?

2. What am I doing now?

3. What ought I to do in the future OR What do I hope for the future?

Try to be as specific as possible with your answers. Write them down, pray about them, and revisit them later.
This is no easy sledding and it helps to have a companion along the way.

More on discernment next week!

For more information about help with discernment in your life click here.

If you don’t want to miss a post click here to to get the next ones sent by Email.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling right now or at a crossroads? Would you please tell them about this Series?

Will you pray for me? I’m learning discernment too.
And please don’t leave without sharing something that I can pray about for you.

Some quick Housekeeping:
This year I won’t be posting 3-4 times per week, most of the time.

Since February 2009 I written 815 posts. I’ve put in the time. (Before that I had a Blogger blog (several actually), and a before that I had a Xanga blog (remember them?), and before that in 2004 or so, I sent weekly email articles to about 200 people, when word “blog” hadn’t made it to the vernacular. It adds up to thousands of articles.)

Plus, I’m at a season where my posts should be fewer. All this makes email delivery or a RSS feed situation optimal, because when I do post, I’ll have landed on some cool things I simply must write about. So, fill out the Feedburner button fields in the right column, and never miss a beat.

3 Rough Patches on the Way to Success (courtesy of Henri Nouwen)

As promised back in November, I’m sharing some of the gleanings from my required course work reading. The first book is a short, sweet work chock-a-blocked with wisdom by the beloved Henri Nouwen.

In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (Click title for book info. Bonus: It costs just a few bucks. ) In this book Nouwen makes short work tackling common 3 pitfalls we routinely encounter.

The title is a misappropriation because his advice is so helpful for anyone “on a quest” or trying to make their way. Be it an artist, blogger, writer, or just about anyone following a dream will encounter the very same issues Nouwen covers as he targets “leaders”.

He uses his own life and success in academics and leadership as the impetus and a background of practical knowledge and captures crucial insights on the things that most often beset us.

Nouwen was a revered scholar and professor at Yale, Harvard and other impressive-sounding places. Though everyone was telling Nouwen he was doing well, he noticed something deep down. Something just wasn’t right. Then, he realized his success was actually putting his own soul in danger.

“I was living in a very dark place and the term “burnout” was a convenient psychological translation for a spiritual death.”

I’ve been there! Have you?

He came to a point of spiritual dryness and removed himself from the life he knew as a talented academic and choose instead to live with, care for, and minister to the severely mentally disabled. He covers this quite briefly in the book. (In other books he mentions just how nuts people thought he was for the decision.)

What came from that choice is arguably his most memorable and lasting work. A host of profound and transformative pieces. To many some are bona fide Christian Devotional Classics.
To handle the topic of Christian Leadership (which I’ve mentioned may be cast more widely for many of us as success), Nouwen describes the particulars of Jesus as he was tempted in the desert. The lures and trappings of leadership (read: success) typical in this world are cast in sharp relief with the divine call of Christlikeness in one’s life.

It is a striking model for Christians to follow. Jesus was tempted to abandon his Kingdom mission in favor of acquiescing to the temptations offered up by Satan who promised success in the course and manner of this world.

Nouwen also riffs off intimate conversations Jesus has with Peter. They involve calling, leadership, vocation, and Jesus-style success. The heart of these exchanges give us insights to our own path to success and finding our purpose or way in the world.

The three temptations are labeled by Nouwen as the lures to be relevant (necessary, a cure for the world), spectacular (popular, skilled, apt), and powerful (influential or in charge).

Have you ever wanted those things as you reach for your dreams?  (Who hasn’t, right?)
Jesus’ response and subsequent choices are worth noting. Not only that, they bring solace for the journey.

The temptations experienced by Christ are shown as the archetype for the human experience in the realm of success (and any sort of leadership). The three kernels of wisdom include–

1. being prayerful instead of craving relevance

2. serving rather than desiring popularity found through skills and competencies

3. being led rather than focusing on power (leading/influencing)

It’s all very counter-cultural.

Nouwen lays out concise and clear arguments for these three and also includes which spiritual disciplines make the Kingdom way plausible (think of discipline here as “training” or “taking your vitamins”).

In a time were celebrity and influence (and even infamy) is the jackpot, just as much in Christian spheres as in secular ones, Nouwen speaks with a fresh and prophetic voice of wisdom that brings us to a path of peace.

In our strivings it’s easy to miss the presence of God, and even the mission of the Kingdom. It’s a quick trip to succumbing to temptations common to humans and not being people of Christlikeness. This book soothes the soul.

# # #

If you’re interested in delving further into spiritual formation, creativity, and learning for a full year, the private online community/learning group called The Cadre is forming right now. (100% free, and I’m not selling anything.) It starts February (2013), and there are about 8 spots open. Click “The Cadre” at the top of the page to learn more, or contact me.

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(photo source: http://evolvenetwork.com.au/wordpress/index.php/5-steps-to-bring-success-into-your-life/)

If you’re here as a new visitor from the Midday Connection blog, or elsewhere…welcome! I update 3-4 times per week, and some great things are in store. Please poke around and enjoy. If you want to, leave a comment, or use the contact form (lower black tab reading: “contact me”) to connect. I’m really glad you’re here.

For all of my regular readers, thank you for making it a joy to have a blog. I appreciate you.

Today’s Reflection: Safely Home

I’m preparing for a season of preparation. Strange, huh? I’ll explain.

Many Christians across the world observe the “Christian calendar” which begins at Advent, about four weeks before December 25th. (In 2012 it starts December 2.) Advent is a pre-Christmas time marked not buy consumption, decorating, cooking, and the usual things that busy us in the time before Christmas day.

Instead, it’s marked by a time of special spiritual awareness. Themes of waiting, longing, and  anticipation are the focus as we await the coming celebration of Light coming into the darkness: Jesus come to earth as a fragile baby.

But, it’s more then just a spiritual pre-season observance of an event in Christian history, it’s a recognition of a present reality that God has made a way safely home, to him.

The Incarnation is the coming of Immanuel (a Hebrew word meaning: God-with-us). It goes beyond the life, ministry, and death of Jesus of Nazareth as well…to the startling promise of God’s ever-abidding Holy Spirit that resides in us.

This is how God dwells among us, in the core of you and me. We are surrounded by his presence.

You are already home.

With God taking up residence within you, you are the home of God.

(He’s not sitting far off on a bright fancy, throne nestled in a cloud as  Michelangelo would paint it, or as Deists may believe. Remember some Theology 101: God is spirit and has no physical body.)

So, during this season, before the holidays kick into hectic full-swing, be mindful and awed by the Goodness and provision of God. Be aware in your body and mind that house the Spirit of God. A gift of unimaginable worth.

Make ready the manger of your heart for a fresh and rich ongoing awareness of God’s love, grace, and presence that will culminate in the joyful celebration of the arrival of God-in-flesh.

If you would like to continue learning about these seasonal themes and enrich your Autumn and early Winter season, keeping visiting. I’ll focus some of my posts on these themes, sometimes with reflections, scriptures, prayers, and such. This time also (soon) includes the 2nd annual Advent Project which is an effort create a space and format for giving and goodwill in the areas of art and other creative expressions.

So, now, it’s your turn…

What touched you about what you read today?

Do you currently observe a season of Advent each year? If yes, in what ways does it have most meaning for you?

photo source 

(click for source)

Cool cats used to say, “See you on the flipside.” Apparently when you flip a day onto its back you get another day, not the nighttime.

A cat (yes, I’m talking felines now) works the same way. If you flip a cat over it doesn’t hit its backside, but it’s flipside. The right side. The same side it should be on. A dog? Forget it. It’s a trip to animal hospital.

The flipside of a coin doesn’t work the same as a cat. The flipside of the coin is the other side. It’s the head or the tail: the opposite. Most people want money and not cats.

Is the flipside like the Kingdom of God?

I went to my first Special Olympics to cheer on my son in the swimming event. Backstroke and freestyle. I saw the flipside. The Kingdom of God is like the Special Olympics. Those who are always last in life get a chance to be first. It’s actually fierce competition, in case you’re wondering.

Athletes train for months. 70% of the swimmers would have bested me in the pool despite possessing Downs Syndrome, mental retardation, autism, and so forth. Counted out in every other point, but no more. It was a day of winning and accomplishment.

Athletes are grouped according to skill level, and sometimes, age. Poor swimming form meets with disqualification. Did you get that? You can be disqualified! I was stunned.

So, not everyone gets a medal in S.O.? Nope. Only one athlete gets first place. This makes the victory legit. A first place medal really means something. It really means #1. It really gives an athlete something to fully celebrate and gives a family something to truly cheer about.

The huge difference between the Special Olympics and the typical Olympics and most other sporting events, is that each athlete is treated like a winner. Everyone is acknowledged. No one is a loser. No one puts a mic in their face and says, “What went wrong?” If one flounders in the water…well, like a cat…one still gets a participation ribbon. Everyone is accepted no matter how they do.

This is how we can enact the Kingdom of God right now. Find someone who’s usually last. Economically, socially, culturally, mentally, and then find a way to make them first, to offer and enact true acceptance. It’s the flipside. It’s the righted way of the world as God’s wants it to be.

Will I see you on the flipside?

What are some ideas to reveal the Kingdom of God flipside?

winner

Have you noticed the presence of REVENGE themes…

kinda all over the place?

Maybe you’ve heard (or said) something like,

“One day he’ll get his! God will get him for what he did!”

or

“Wait until judgement day! God says he will repay. He will avenge.”

or

“I just can’t wait until she gets what’s coming to her.”

Sometimes people even use these verses (below) to comfort themselves, or maybe assuage their rage while trying to wait for God dole out paybacks.

Because…You know what they say about paybacks…

Hebrews 10:30-31
For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

Here’s the final Word on paybacks.

God gives them out, well, he has. God did avenge. God did repay. Justice was served…as grace (for us). God’s due wrath and fury, the full vengeance for all the horrid wrongs was repaid…

In every sickening, flesh-ripping whip strike upon the innocent body of Jesus of Nazareth. In every bash, wallop, wound, thorn gouge, spear stab, and nail pounding. Every pain.

All of sin, then, now, and forever was paid for. Their sin…. And your sin.

It is finished. Really.

The kind of revenge we want for others has already happened, and it was very expensive.

Hold back your hope for paybacks, because Jesus doesn’t need to do it again. Jesus took the blows for their debt, and more importantly for yours.

Let us be aware of how costly our sin is…

…even our sin of hoping for revenge…but calling it “justice”.

Justice is spookier than we’ve realized.

Forgive. When that stops working, forgive again.

Creative Commons ( click for attribution )

So, now what?

Click for Attribution link.

If I were to caption this photo for the project at hand, it would say,
“Sweater cubicle? or are bloggers too isolated for their own spiritual good?”

As I promised on Timothy Dalrymple‘s blog a bit ago, I am covering the topic of spiritual guidance for bloggers (as a series). Thankfully, some talent bloggers are joining us, too.

In plenty of ways technology has outpaced our spiritual reflection. The needed inner gaze at the practice (spiritual or otherwise) of blogging itself has not been encountered effectively. Bloggers have specific spiritual needs and encounter spiritual pitfalls that are under-addressed…even on blogs themselves, where you’d expect them to be handled. Well, no more.

In the next few weeks, I’ll lay this topic out and do just that, with the help of some talented bloggers as featured guest contributors.

For me, it’s an EPIC mashup of blogging experience (since 2006), and three scores of credit hours with my seminary education (M.A. in Religion, Spiritual Formation concentration) cross-fertilizing at the perfect juncture to rock this thing out. Boom. Pow!

For example:
Pitfall #1. Bloggers can be grandiose when introducing a new series.

If you are a blogger, this is especially for you. You and I both need this.

If you know someone who blogs, please send them over. Encourage him or her to read and participate in this series. If they seem reluctant, or just too busy, just say, “See, that’s exactly the whole point!”

A peek at some of the upcoming themes:

• Seductions Specific to Christian Bloggers and What to do About it
• Overcoming the Spiritual Pitfalls of Blogging
• A Writer’s Mistress is a Blog (humor)
• The Best Spiritual Disciplines for Bloggers
• Blogging and Community: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Plus, Articles from fantastic Guest Writers:

- Thom Turner

- Joy Bennet

- Ed Cyzewski

- Anita Mathias

- Jennifer Luitwieler

- Sarah Bessey

- Warwick Fuller

- Ray Hollenbach

…and others.

Thank you so much for stopping by today.

It’s a really big day for me, for at least 3 reasons…hold up! 5 Reasons. (I just found out it’s The Year of the Dragon starting today AND National Pie day. Eating pie like a dragon seems like the proper thing to do and Very exciting!)

Here’s 3 more reasons.

1. Author Shawn Smucker’s interview is now live, it’s awesome, and it’s the first of two parts (see the previous post).

2. Doomsday debunker and writer of a bunch of books, Jason Boyett, posted the pre-lease of his interview with me about his fun (yes I said fun) Doomsday book. For now, it’s only available at his site, here, (and it’s unlisted on youtube until that goes live, on January 30th to the general public).

Since it’s time-sensitive info…go ahead and get the word out! (We might only have 11 more months before ultimate doom and annilation, so be a darling and help some people not freak out, k?)

3. I have a guest post at Confessions of a Funeral Director. No, I’m not a funeral director, but it is a kind of confession.

Please stop by and read my deathly guest post at Caleb’s poignant site. He’s, by far, my favorite undertaker. And I mean that!

And check back for a fascinating Ninja Interview with Caleb which will be up soon.

Kristin Tennant (blogger at halfway to normal) a.k.a. kt_writes gets a NiNJA Interview. Great stuff (If the interviewee spits out coffee while watching it, I think I’ve done my job.)

Tell me what you think…
about SURPRISE.

creative commons photo. click for attribution.

• (#1) Sorry to be blunt, but it’s just not your job. It never was.
• (#2) You’re pretty crappy at fixing yourself.
  If you were good at fixing yourself, you would’t want to fix other people.
  In them (the “un-fixed”) you see yourself.
• (#3) You don’t have that kind of power. It’s inappropriate to think you do.
• (#4) People resent the condescension, so even if you try to be kind in the fixing it’s counterproductive.
• (#5) People are supposed to have some unfixable spots.
  I write about “broken jars” here.

What are the alternatives?

• Walk with people
• Be a good influence
• listen more
• love more
• learn more

Post IV
“Capacitarianism” (Transcending the worn out terms “egalitarian” & “complementation”)

I’m drawing this proposal series on gender and the church to a final post. Well, final for now. (I’ll leave room for a sequel series, just in case…)

Plenty of other recognizable names will be shedding light on this topic in the weeks and months to come. Let’s hear if they have anything new to add.

Among all this discussion, I do realize not everybody will be encouraged to push toward a better understanding of gender as it relates to God’s plan of redemption. Plenty of times we talk, and we talk, but we don’t move our positions. We just dig in.

Though many times we learn too little, something much worse can happen too: Talk stays talk.

In the end, talk of men or of angels doesn’t about to anything but noise, if it cannot be a reality of love, enacted. Action, far more than arguments or dialogue is what transforms.

I have no doubts that these issues about equality, roles, church, gender, and what-have-you will be wrestled by laity, theologians, and debaters…ad nauseum. I hope it’s been clear that my point in these four posts was to cast the topic in a new light, and see if we could think bigger than our current terms afford us. Either way, like life, it is all fleeting…just as King Solomon proposed.

For now, I will leave you with these following 5 offerings below, (and I welcome your own additions, or other comments, in the comments section below).

The 5
As we encounter these gender-themed topics and the church; and as we continue dialogue here, or elsewhere, please take these 5 suggestions into consideration.

1. Don’t use the Bible as a weapon. A fine line will be crossed when we use Bible verses as “backing” for our position, and claim we are “being Biblical”, while at the same time cherry picking words and phrases that support what we’ve already been told, or are wont to personally believe.
The Brass Tacks are this: Interpretation of the Bible must well mirror the nature, attributes, and over plan of redemption that is God’s. One’s view on gender must articulate God’s Story.

…Some of you may say the Bible IS a weapon! Yes, the Bible is called the “Sword” of the Spirit, but first let that sharp thing pierce (convict) your own heart, or protect your heart from Evil. Please don’t go chopping away wildly and cut off ears, or other things…

2. Don’t assume or concede that just the two main positions are the only viable stances in contemporary times (i.e. egalitarian and complementation).

I, for one, will not be compliant to this tact, nor will I adopt either view fully as I dialogue, especially as a prerequisite to having a conversation on the topic. 

3. Admit the “answer/s” about gender, and church roles, and how this plays out in typical Kingdom living are hard to find, not cut and dry. I don’t think we can learn from each other, or from God, if we have it all figured out.

4. Don’t let old and worn out terms and ideas corner you, or make you give up on what God has called you to do. God seems to call us to do things that swim upstream, and go against convention or tradition. Make the love of God, and devotion to God your aim.

5. Find common ground. As others have wisely said in the comments sections that egalitarians, complementarians, and the rest of us, (usually) want to please God, live for him, respect the Bible, and enact grace. If we take time to find common ground, we will realize there is much more the same, especially in our intentions, than we first realized.

The Word of God encourages us to live in harmony with each other, and have unity in the bond of peace. This is far harder to dispute than any gender-related position! If you error, do it on the Love (not division) side of things.

Peace to you.
-Lisa 

PS (To read the other 3 posts on this topic, start here or here.) Your contributions to the topic are quite welcome.

The 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy a week from this Sunday. We will once again see images and recount the horrors of that day, and try in memorial to accept the reality of this world. Most of us don’t encounter death and our own mortality too often. Most of us don’t constantly see suffering, and witness grief and loss.

Please take some time today, or this weekend to remember that the events of 9/11 still bring pain to many. Loved ones are missed, and we can’t gloss over the national tragedy that left a collective hole in our hearts, even ten years later.

This seems a fitting time to discuss an author who is very acquainted with death. It’s his job to be, and his perspective can be very helpful to us. As promised a couple of weeks earlier, the following is my personal interview with blogger and upcoming author Caleb Wilde, a 6th generation Funeral Director, seminary student, husband, and expectant adoptive dad.

My Questions for Caleb:

1. Being a 6th generation funeral director, you have quite a unique vantage point on life, loss, and mortality. How do you think you live life differently than other Christians because of where God has placed you?

Caleb: In traditional religious calendars, the day in-between “Good Friday” and “Easter” is called “Holy Saturday”.  “Holy Saturday” is the day the disciples’ hopes and beliefs were engulfed in death and silence, as they viewed their Messiah’s death without the knowledge of the resurrection.

In some sense, I live the life of Holy Saturday.

As funeral directors, we’re paid by families to be a human shield to death, whereby we make death somewhat easier, less real and more proper.  As this human shield, I’m affected.  I’m affected by the brokenness, by the grief, by the hopelessness I see in faces, by the newly fatherless/motherless children, the tragic deaths and the accidents.

All this has made my personal faith more sensitive to questions of God’s goodness and justice.  It’s not easy for me to understand ideas of “eternal hell”, or ideas of “meticulous divine providence” or even “absolute foreknowledge” or “omnipotence”.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m still a Christian.

2. What do people misunderstand most about your work?

Caleb: We’re a lot like pastors.  Our jobs are really quite similar, except that one is recognized as “ministry” while the other is “business.”  That’s probably the largest misconception … there’s no way funeral directors can meet with grieving families through the most difficult time of their lives and come out on the other side as “business people.”

Everything else is true, though … we are dark and we are odd people.

In ancient times, death practitioners were ostracized from normal society by rule.  Today, we’re partly ostracized from the norm of society by practice.

3. The constant stream of customers (people dying, and their families burying them) can make one grow numb or cold toward the concept and process of death and burial. Do things still surprise you or impact you? What kind of things?

Caleb: There’s something so unnatural about death that (save the very old) it’s difficult to become numb.

4. You’ve probably thought about what you’d want your own funeral to look and sound like. Can you tell us about that?

Caleb: About two years ago, I started taking one minute video clips of myself, so that by the time I’m 70, I should have a montage of age progression videos that can be used for my funeral.

I’ve also talked about recording a message from myself to my family and friends that could be shown at my funeral as the eulogy.  But, by the time I’m ready to die, I figure they’ll have holographic projections, so I’ll wait for that tech until I record my final goodbye.

5. The saddest funeral I ever went to was for a 13 year old boy who took his own life. What have you learned about people during the time of more tragic circumstances that you’ve been a part of?

Caleb: Funerals/death are a perfect storm: you have death, the inheritance money, high emotions and family you might not like too much who are around you all the time.

Funerals intensify people’s real character.  You see the best in people and you see the worst.  The bad people will do horrendous things at funerals, like start fights, curse out their family members over money.  And you can see Jesus in the good ones.

6. Do you find your work mostly depressing, hopeful, profound, mundane, etc.? Would you recommend this vantage point to others?

Caleb: It’s a tough ministry that has little boundaries.  Many funeral homes are also generational, so many of us work with our dads, grandfathers, uncles and cousins, which can make this at-need work that much more difficult to set up healthy boundaries.

Similar to any ministry, I think there should be a passion for death work … a calling of sorts, whereby you know this is what you’re supposed to do.  And being a “calling”, few have witnessed this vantage point.

It’s unique.

7. Do you want to stay in the family business? Why or why not?

Caleb: Next question : )

8. Tell us a bit about how you view suffering, pain, and death from your unique perspective…which probably has a lot to do with the message in your book.

Caleb: I’ve built my understanding of God around suffering, pain and death.  It’s a local theology.  And my understanding of God, suffering, pain and death in light of my faith is the content of my upcoming book, “Confessions of a Funeral Director.”  Hopefully, it will be out in less than a year.  You can get an idea of how death has affected my view of God at my blog, www.calebwilde.com.  My book, though, will contain much more narrative than my blog.

9. What’s your best idea for a Smart Phone app.?

Caleb: I live near Lancaster County (PA), home of the Amish and Mennonites, so there’s a lot of intermarrying in these parts.  Not to mention, most of the towns in the rural areas of Pennsylvania have families that have lived there for centuries, so many of them are related.

I have an idea to partner with Ancestry.com and create an app the lets you bump smart phones with another person and it will tell you how you’re related to them.  My theory is that this will greatly help the evolution of humans by creating a purer gene pool.   The apps name is “Bump it before you Hump it”.

As we enter dialogue on gender, or rather, as I’ve proposed, moving past using gender to decide privilege in the church, it’s important to first realize the troubling influence from the (male) leadership in the early church. Their ideas continue to heavily impact the attitudes and practices of the contemporary church, and cause confusion.

Doctrine based on secular thought and culture:
When reading the thoughts of the early church fathers, we notice the heavy influence of secular Greek thought that disparaged women, and valued the spiritual far and above the physical/material, as well as and male over female. (see a bit on Dualism)

The Incarnation trumps cultural assumptions:
The Incarnation, however, fully appreciated the spiritual and the material, both. God reaffirms the dignity of the physicality and spirituality of the human being, and all of his physical Creation. A materialistic/dualistic approach (which still can be found subtly in Christianity, even today), undercuts what God has done in the life, ministry, and sacrifice of Jesus, the Christ.

Worldview Askew:
The ministry of Jesus, the Son of God, and the first generation of the Christian church was most scandalous in its progressive exercise of women in positions of influence and leadership (i.e. apostles, prophetesses, deacons, teachers, etc.). This thoroughly counter-cultural new sect and off-shoot of Judaism, who affirmed that Jesus of Nazareth, was and is divine, soon succumbed to typical male-dominated power and authority, and instead, mirrored the secular cultural worldview.

Most influential church fathers who articulated the earliest of Christine doctrine and practice, were much like their academic or secular peers in their misogyny. Typical (and secular) morays resumed.

Swiss Cheese Foundation Walls (Holey not Holy):
It seems that conversations and debates about men and women, and their roles in the church have only ever built on the thoughts of these errant church fathers, or, contrastingly, openly revolted against them (i.e. feminist theology). But, these are both tired and worn out arguments and vantage points that now have limited usefulness. We continue to merely speak past each other.

Eve Hating:
The man known in Christianity as, “The founder of Western Theology” is Quintus Septimius Florens Tertullianus,  best known in English as Tertullian (c. 160 – c. 220 AD).

He covered apologetics, heresy, morals, church discipline, baptism, soteriology, and made a huge impact on one of Christianity’s most influential leaders, Augustine of Hippo.

Though Tertullian was well know for elucidating important issues of church life, as well as the gracious treatment of widows, his thoughts and comments about females are truly shocking to our contemporary ears. Read some for yourself: De Cultu Feminarum Book I. Chapter I.—-Introduction. Modesty in Apparel Becoming to Women, in Memory of the Introduction of Sin into the World Through a Woman.

 Here are some Tertullian highlights:

• Man, not woman, is created in the image of God.

• Woman was and is the source of temptation.

• Like Eve, each woman is also:

•  the devil’s gateway
• the unsealer of that (forbidden) tree.
• the first deserter of the divine law.
• the one who persuaded him (Adam) whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack.
• the one who destroyed so easily God’s image, man.
• the reason the Son of God had to die.

Admittedly,  this glimpse is just that–a glimpse. A careful study of his ideas would be wise.

BUT-Is it really any wonder that women were relegated to inferior status ontologically, and within the community of believers? It’s not a surprise that women still are, only a disappointment.

Yes, Christianity has a sordid past. Humans are flawed. Yet, God’s plan is to use us (all) to bring about his ongoing redemption. I venture that we likely got off on the wrong track long ago. Many of the church fathers’ thoughts were wrong, in the first place. The time is ripe to begin afresh. Big improvements don’t really happen through recycling old methods, but rather by re-creating them from different commencement points.

Moving forward:
Defining “Capacitarian” (now pushed to a future post) will have everything to do with seeing things anew, from the vantage point of a gracious Creator, as much as possible. Our dignity and worth is truly sourced in God, not on the cultural bias of early church leaders.

We must jettison malformed doctrine.

Now, I ask you, if we are to re-envision and redefine the role of citizens in God’s Kingdom (versus deciding “men and women’s roles in the church” based predominantly on body parts) than what should be our foundation as we go forward?

What do you propose to re-shape our thinking? Submit your thoughts and ideas here, please. Please, help and enlist the contribution of others as well. A tweet or link is a great place to start.

UPDATE: Here is a link from Dan, I had to pass along. It’s by Ben Witherington.

I wrote this on April 10th at Jesus Needs New PR.

April 10th:
I think many people will be surprised at how much [lady gaga's] new album, coming May 23th, will have religious references, and inspire spiritual thought and discussion.

Also strange is that she’ll communicate using this type of God language to an audience that is, unlike her… as a child, *alien* to church (institutional or otherwise), biblical stories and references to God from scripture. This may revive these topics making far easier to engage her and her fans. Hopefully on a common starting ground (not like was done in [the fundie] example.)

Be assured, God will use Gaga as *he* wishes. Believe it.

It is his spirit that draws us to him. Why is she interested in these topics no ones cares about these days? Maybe because Gaga may be starting the conversation that God will use for mighty things. I will pray toward that.

UPDATE: APRIL 15th.

I wonder if this song (Judas) and the others from her album will prompt listeners to read the gospels to better decipher her message. Being raised as a Fundie, I know my Bible pretty well, and now having heard the Gaga lyrics, to “Judas”, it even makes me want to check out the several  stories she refers to, to see what’s up. She brings up Peter’s betrayal, the anointing at Bethany (think wiping her tears with her hair), Judas’ betrayal, among some of her lyrics.

I find the references jumbled and confusing. Maybe she’ll decode them in the future. You can read them all here.

Here is the lyrics to the Bridge of her song JUDAS:

[Bridge]

In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offenced,
Or wear an ear condom next time

I wanna love you,
But something’s pulling me away from you
Jesus is my virtue,
Judas is the demon I cling to
I cling to

Your responses to Gaga and her newest message?

Tarns Hows, Lake Cumbria, UK

Reflection

When I used the picture you see here in the header section of this blog, it seemed like such a shame to crop it down to fit the format. The expanse of the photograph and the beauty of the scene is diminished when most of it is hacked out. Obviously.

I felt I had to give this scene of Cumbria Lake full exposure. So, here you are.

And…

This limited view concept makes sense on a larger scale too. Our default view is only a partial view. How easy it is to forget that.

We don’t know much about what lies off our perspective. We only know (or think we know), what we can visualize and grasp. Even just that bit may be mysterious or confusing.

An ugly scene or situation is only seen, in part. Our past is hindsight, at best, and our future is unknown. Unseen. What we have before us is a mere strip of the whole picture. The Big Picture.

I believe the justice and goodness of God will one day bring all things into better view. If we judge Reality by only what we’ve experienced, and seen first hand, we settle for just a small strip, and not the panorama. the panorama awaits. Hang on. It gets better.

Have you realized the smallness of your vantage point?
What things, in your circumstances or life, are likely much bigger than can be seen right now?

I met with my spiritual director today. In our time of prayer and reflection with God, the image came to mind of being seated among colored shards of glass. And I sensed God’s direction to let him put them together into a beautiful mosaic. How less beautiful would the work of art be without his Light to shine through it?

I don’t know how to put the broken pieces of my heart or my life together. But, I can hand them over to my Artist to make a masterpiece. The design, intention, and artisanship, of a Creator changes the useless into his glorious creation. I’m “in progress”, and when he’s done, I won’t just be mended, but I’ll be his lovely work of art.

Help me, dear God.

Do you feel like a mosaic in-progress? What places need to be mended in your life?

E9EQJXC6MEJ4

some other family enjoying mealtime prayer

Do you pray before meals with your family?

This Christian spiritual practice is one I grew up with. I was praying at meals since I was 3, and I remember some of those first prayers. Do you remember getting to pray for the meals as a child? It felt like an honor to be asked, as I recall.

Here’s where it gets weird.
My two children (ages, almost 11 and 8 years old, respectively) seem to loath mealtime prayers, under any circumstances.

Unlike many children from praying homes, mine rebuff any offers to say the prayer at mealtime, even when they are sweetened with awesome bribes! They usually complain about mealtime prayer, despite our conversations about having our particular family tradition and its importance in our view of the world. Most often, the kids see mealtime prayers as a unpleasant obstacle preventing their nourishment. And, it seems to be worsening as time goes by.

That’s right a 30 second prayer time before meals is worse than other forms of child torture…like going to bed at 8:00, or hanging up one’s coat, or emptying the silverware from the dishwasher. I don’t get it either.

As a person who’s spent hundreds of hours researching and learning how to help people grow spiritually, this is a bit of a black eye…oh, and a punch in the gut. It’s not just a bit embarrassing to realize, but  it makes me think that perhaps my children’s basic spiritual formation is compromised if these times of prayer are not meaningful and helpful when we do them. I think we could all be the worse for our failure here.

So, I’ve been speaking with my husband about how we can change things up, and enliven family prayer time to make God, and thanking God for our food more participatory, vivified, and worthwhile for all of us. I want children with grateful hearts.

I thought of some ideas, and I hope you will contribute to the mix too. I could use your ideas and advice.

Idea 1. Lighting a candle:
Kids love fire. Right? I’d like to try to light a voitive candle for each of us and read John 8:12

Then Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

We can then respond. “Thank you Jesus for your light in our hearts. Thank you for our meal. Amen.”

Idea 2. Maybe adding a kind of prop, visual aid, or short object lesson with our practice would make it not just a more interesting time, but will carry on in their thoughts. Then, at night when putting them to bed, we could bring it up again, for a little meditating or conversation for an evening prayer.

Idea 2. Maybe using a mixing of responsive prayers during the week could awaken us to a richer time of thanks before meals.

Prayer 1:

(lead voice) The eyes of all wait upon you, O God,
(others) And you give them their food in due season.

You open wide your hand
and fill all things living with plenteousness.

Bless, O Lord, these gifts to our use and us in your service;
relieve the needs of those in want and give us thankful hearts;
for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Prayer 2:

(lead voice) Bless us, O Lord, who bless your holy name
and by this food, feed us for your holy service.

(others) Thank you, Father and Lord. Amen.

This one could be said after meal time, to add some thankfulness “bookends” to the time together.

After meal prayer:

(lead voice) All your works praise you, O God,
(others) And your faithful servants bless you.

They make known the glory of your kingdom
And speak of your power.

For these and all God’s gifts and graces,
let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God. Amen.

Other ideas:

1. We could also go around the table and thank God for something. (My kids balk at this usually.)

2. We could stand and hold hands, or change our posture during prayer, from the norm (which for us is holding hands while seated).

3. When could listen to a singing of a psalm, or worship song before the meal.

HELP! What else can be done to make mealtime prayer better?

Maybe you haven’t heard of imaginative prayer. Does it sound “woo-woo”?
Woo-woo to you-you seems like doo-doo?
Well, it’s not, unless you have zero imagination. A time of rich prayer using God’s word can inject vitality into an average or stale prayer life.

Here’s how I do it.

I’ve been using the story of Joseph, Genesis 37-50, to aid in my prayer time. As I carefully read and think about the story, I try to climb into it a bit.

I imagine (a.k.a. put my self in the place of a character/s) what it could be like to be sold by family members and taken hundreds of miles away, or be falsely accused and betrayed by the wife of an employer, and waiting helplessly in jail for 2-13 years. Through it all, never giving up on God and his love for me.
I pray with these images, feeling, thoughts, and various associations that strike my heart. I take them to God.

We (me and my Maker) share together in a close intimacy with this amazing reversal-of-fortunes story. I am inspired by Joseph’s story, because it shows my God as unfailing, redeeming unfortunate circumstances, and guiding the Story to his good ends.

Here’s your project.
1. Follow the Genesis link (above), and spend some time with the story. (You can use an old fashion paper Bible too. haha.)
2. Jot down themes, or ideas that come into view.
3. Ask yourself what this story says about God and his character.
4. Pray with your findings. Take them to God. (Don’t expect flashes of divine prophecy, or simple answers to your problems. Just enjoy and live with the themes and the story for a few…moments, hours (or days, depending on how you set to reading and reflecting on this.)

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading.
May God bless you richly.

-Lisa

For Christians, these are some of the most devotional resolutions. “I want to pray more,” or “I want to read my Bible more.”

This year I resolved to not make a New Years resolution. This was mainly because last year, I resolved to lose 20 lbs, and I think I found 20 instead. Now the romance is gone, and I’m done with that sort of thing, at least for 1 year…if I keep my resolution, of course.

If you’d like to read the Bible more this year, I recommend first starting out with the best book I’ve ever read to help one understand the Bible better.

I like it so much, that when I find an inexpensive copy, I buy it, just to give it away.
To celebrate the 2011 NEW YEAR, I’ll do it again. In the month of January, if you post a comment that you’d like this book, I’ll put your name in the hat. Even though it’s the Year of the Rabbit, a rabbit won’t come out of the hat, but one fortunate person will be picked at random to get this book mailed to them. (No strings attached.)

PS If a rabbit leaves gifts of chocolate covered raisins on your porch, don’t eat them. This is a trick they pull every 12 years. You have been warned.

Some days you take your faith to the scales. You wonder…is it up to mustard?

Today is one of those days–and it’s epitomized in the not-so-scenic view from my front porch.

Will you pray for me?

What do you need faith for today?

Human Brutality, one of the World's worst evils.

Here is a response to a difficult subject: Evil and human suffering. Your comments are valuable here. Thanks for reading.

The following are comments from a former classmate Marty Schoffstall as placed within the comment section on blog site of Theology Professor Ken Miller.

From Marty:

Dr. Dorsey [professor of Old Testament Studies] says that the story of the prophets (a rather large portion of the canon) looks like this:

(1) God Is Allowing Wickedness…
For a season…. and the wicked to succeed in their opposition to Him to temporarily triumph over Him (and over those loyal to Him). He may allow them to spurn Him, mock Him, humiliate him, or persecute those who remain loyal to Him.

(2) God is redirecting their evil….
to accomplish his own good purposes. The deeds of the wicked play into God’s hands and are used by God to further his own semi-secret agenda. [During this time when evil appears to prevail], God’s children are encouraged to: (a) Trust God, (b) Wait patiently for the time when God will intervene and right all wrongs, (c) Remain loyal and obedient to him.

(3) Finally, God dramatically intervenes…
to defeat his enemies. God is vindicated the wicked are punished; and those loyal to God are rewarded.

Now as my old friend friend Dr. Cunningham from UVA who was a very competent Roman Catholic Theologian on the side used to say:

“…mercy and justice are always in tension. We want mercy for ourselves, and justice for the other…”

Eventually we grow a little wiser and want some mercy for the other as well; however, we can never give up the concept of justice completely. Some decisions are so revolting (like genocide) that they must rigorously opposed, some people are so broken (like serial killers, serial kidnappers, etc) that we invest enormous time and money in the criminal justice system to stop them, they are horribly corrosive to society, they must be stopped.

How do you respond?

Image via Wikipedia (confessing to another)

About 500 years ago there was this spat. At the time, having your sins forgiven was a sort of pay as you go thing. It was a bit like a toll road.

The toll booth worker was the Priest. If you bought “indulgences” the Priest could better settle up your debt with God.

Handy little business model, especially when folks hope to avoid damnation, right?

This became rather upsetting. So these Reformer types started protesting. It was not so much to split from the Church, but to transform it–at first.

Of course, men can get pretty riled up about their new fantastic ideas (ever seen that?), and before anyone realized it, a huge split…others might say a heresy or rebellion… was cemented into place in history–forever changing the landscape of Christianity.

Spiritually speaking, some good was gained (and Catholics adjusted to these grievances by the 1960s with Vatican II), but as more and more people are beginning to realizing now, some very good and important things were lost because of going this route.

So, what is the real purpose of a priest, or priest-like figure? Is it necessary? Can absolution of sin come from a man in a white collar? What about a teenager in a crew neck? Or a lady with a scarf?

Drum roll, please…..

Oh!  Wait! Before, you start gathering firewood and a sturdy stake for my conflagration, please hear me out the entire way. (Then have at it; I’d like to hear from you.)

The I Timothy 2:5 “one mediator” verse is often used to underscore that Christ alone can forgive sins and be our mediator to God. It’s true. This was the mission of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

But Protestants have, by the over-reactive trailblazing of the Reformers, missed quite a bit of the spiritual benefits of what Jesus’ brother James talks about:

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

What is James saying…that confession and other believers’ prayers are powerful and effective against sin? Yes.

GASP.
Okay, not a total gasp. But how does this play out? You may wonder…

This confessing to each other is not the same as be able to actually take Jesus’ place (obviously). James shows us that confession to each other works. It does something important. God wants it to be done this way.

It absolves us (because God absolves us). So, it is true that we personally experience the relief of our guilt being removed. We experience, in real terms, the agency of God’s forgiveness of our guilt. Someone is there beside us, standing in the gap for us, so we can be reconciled more thoroughly, more completely than we can experience it otherwise. It is God’s work; and we are agents of his ministry.

These confessors  to whom we confess become a flesh and blood representation of God’s love that promotes gracious forgiveness and offers wholeness. It offers us freedom from guilt (felt guilt, and feeling or thinking as if Christ‘s work is not complete). It puts flesh on our spiritual justification.

It seems we can’t handle our sin on our own too well, at all.

We are sinful, and it’s not a private matter.

Just confessing to God, and keeping our mistakes and sin to ourselves, is not the recommendation and requirement of Christ’s disciples.

The Community of God (i.e. the Church; our brothers and sisters in the Lord) plays a vital role in our spiritual growth and growth in grace. Confession ushers in that felt healing of the sin and guilt which weigh us down, and disables us.

Our sin is a rejection of community (aka The Bride of Christ) and an act of selfishness.

Our sin is a destructive thing. Socially and spiritually destructive.

Confession and absolution, (the kind you might say/declare out loud to another person) restore us at a core level. To ourselves, to God, and to community (aka The Bride of Christ).

In this way, we act not as God, but on God’s behalf. We minister.

It is simply true that he forgives us. We concur and offer social restoration, and remind the confessing one of God’s gracious work and love for us.

We minister to each other, on equal footing, and we may offer God’s grace to a brother or sister who cannot yet properly apprehend it. We can accept their confession and offer forgiveness, so we speak the Truth of God’s Kingdom into their life. We help set the captives free. (Not because God can’t do it without us, but because he wishes to use us this way.)

YES. We may say, “You have confessed, and you are forgiven. God absolves you. I, too, forgive you. Go in peace, and rest in his love.”

Please offer this to others. Ask for it on your behalf, too.

Will you comment on this topic, please? Your input is vital on this one. Thank you.

. . . when Moses was grown . . . he went out to his brethren and looked at their burdens —Exodus 2:11

Have you thought about discouragement in this way?

Your thoughts or comments are encouraged.