Archive for Humor

Path to Porn (part III)

lisacolondelay / November 19, 2011 / 3 comments

I strongly suggest you read the 2 earlier posts  in this series to get all the context needed for this series. I say this because a blog cannot be exhaustive on a topic, or give important issues a thorough going over. Instead, a blog can be a starting point to open up topics that are overlooked, or glossed over, or downright avoided. The stats say the most pastors look at porn, fairly regularly, when was the last time you heard them admit it?

I hope you’ll comment with your thoughts, or write on the topic yourself, (and share the link, so we can follow along.)

Uncomfortable topics:
In most Christian circles masturbation and pornography…or porn, which is actually not the same…(see “porn” definition from previous post) aren’t discussed, that is, least not until the worst is over. Sex might be discussed, but if it gets personal, or unflattering, well, it seems rare that you’ll hear honesty.

You’ll be hard pressed to find your ladies book club trailing off in that direction. “Well, I was feeling lonely last night, and this Amish romance is so, you know…hot, or whatever…and I just starting imaging myself as Hannah Swartzentruber on a forbidden buggy ride, and it’s all fun and games until someone has an orgasm, ya know. Am I right, ladies?” (My previous ‘Amish Romance’ post here.)

Probably you won’t hear that, right? Not so much.

The internet and other media allow for private voyeurism that trips many of us up. This goes for men and women.

Still, some might say, “This is fairly normal stuff, right?” or “Does it matter?” Things that are typical aren’t equivalent to things that are healthy, necessarily. Involvement in porn (be it sexual or otherwise) is a honey trap. Distracting and eventually toxic to us, and our relationships.

Here’s some of the inter dialogue when we travel the path to porn, and I speak from experience, and my female mind.

If we know the circumstances that lead up to viewing things we shouldn’t, perhaps we won’t get too far down the trail, before we course correct.

Thoughts, feelings, or circumstances involving:

• Feeling rejected/not belonging

• Feeling left out

• Feeling misunderstood

• Envy and Jealousy

• Feeling out of control

• Wish fulfillment/fantasy

• Feeling isolated or lonely

• Anger or bitterness

Share your thoughts on this issue.

+ the Potent Question of the Day: What have been the circumstances of your involvement in viewing voyeuristic or sexual content?

Important note:
While I encourage honesty and confession, this might not be the ideal place to have a “tell all.” Please get into a committed accountability relationship as you work through this journey. Thank you very much for participating in this series, and commenting as much as you are able. And remember that you can always comment here anonymously.)

-Thank you.

Category: BOOM, Christianity, Christians, church, Community, culture, Humor /

Path to Porn: STATS (part II)

lisacolondelay / November 17, 2011 / 4 comments

In my first post, I dropped a “boom post”. This is the 2nd one. So, I guess you could say I’m gonna drop a deuce today. You might hate it. Or you might start to asking better questions of yourself, or get real in a new way. Most of all, I hope you can stick with us, pitch in, and share in the discussion. You are entering a whimp-free zone.

Disclaimers & Circumventing the “Porn is healthy vs. Porn is sin” Territory
Okay. Okay. Now, I realize, plenty of people, Christians included, don’t see much harm in watching some sexual content. Maybe explicit porn, or perhaps something “more vanilla” like maybe just some  sexually voyeuristic program that’s not that “graphic”. Here’s the bad news for you. I am not drawing a distinction in degrees of “porn badness”. I’m lumping. Don’t like it? Take your lumps, okay?

And for you “biblical terms” enthusiasts, you could also be disappointed. I hope your grace is sufficient for me, because I’m committed to not getting bogged down “describing categories and terms” that get people super distracted …the “sin” word… being the big one. This series isn’t the place or time to debate its merits, or squabble over spiritual terminology. (If you wish to do that, good…just go do it on your blog.)

Rather, I am claiming, from the onset, that explicit material is damaging. period. I begin from there. If  this upsets you, or convicts you, then I’m onto something. Let’s go.

This Series…
is to tackle unhealthy habits, or tendencies, we might not want to talk about or admit that we do. Maybe we think it’s better to be polite than truthful. You know, putting on a righteous show…meeting expectations, or at lest managing them. Looking put together. We all know that game. Or, maybe we’re just scared to confess it. Well, no more. Let’s take a direct hit to it. BOOM.

The Goal
Let’s create an atmosphere that will lead us closer to the best God has for us. I refer you to an obvious pick for a guiding verse. Phil. 4:8. (Feel free to submit your own helpful passage, in the comments section.)

STATS
Simply put: The stats are as obvious as they are deplorable. I know, if you’re at your computer, or on your smart phone, that you’ve seen porn, or at the very least, something lewd. Heck an R-rated movie or book is enough. With such easy access, and search engines being how they are, you’ll see it. You have. That’s a given.

But let’s ask the tougher questions: What role does it play in your life? Do you search it out? What does it do rent-free inside your head? When do you “go there”? Do you linger a bit because you think no one will know? How is it hurting you? …because it is. Start Asking Yourself the Tough Questions.

Now, absorb these few stats…
(Even if you don’t view it, someone you know does. So, then I ask you to learn something and try to be helpful.)

* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women
* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month
Internet Filter Review More info here.

* August 7,2006: 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; and 20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis.

From the results of a ChristiaNet poll reported by Marketwire.com

Pornography Time Statistics
(The numbers are far higher for 2011)
  • Every second – $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
  • Every second – 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography.
  • Every second – 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.
  • Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States. More surprising stats from them here:

The next post in this Series is on the subtle and not-so-subtle triggers for viewing sexual content…in women… (Because that’s my gender status…and they say…”write what you know”. I find this rather inconvenient sometimes, but there you have it.)

But Guys, wait a sec.
Though this issue has been covered a bunch already from the male-use perspective, I hope you will think about the topic for tomorrow and weigh in on your own personal triggers. Because they”ll be different than mine…
or will they?

Here’s today’s question of the day:
When was the last time you purposefully OR accidentally saw something sexually explicit? Are you brave enough to say? I hope so.

For me it was last week.
It’ll happen when I’m doing a truly innocent google search for a blog post visual. Then, boom, up pops something ghastly. Damn you, google! Damn you, indeed. The last time I stayed for a second glance was 11/13/11. How’s that for honest?

So, until next time….
Bounce those eyes, people. Bounce those eyes. (Related link…)

Category: Books, BOOM, Christianity, Christians, church, culture, film, hope, Humor, ministry, porn, Spiritual growth, temptation, worldviews /

Followers…

lisacolondelay / November 13, 2011 / One comment

 

How many books have been published lately…or ever…about being good at following people?

They’re probably as rare as denim wedding dresses or dark skinned NLF field goal kickers. Both of which seem strangely missing in our world, no?

On the other hand, if you want people to follow you, if you want to learn how to make that happen, you can spit, and you’ll probably spittle on a book, article, or person who will want to help you with that. If Leadership resources were cholesterol, we’d all be dead.

What is it about following (people), and learning to follow well that is so irksome? Is it because it’s hard to have consistent faith in people? Is it because it’s so punishing to our hubris?

Do we have too many leaders and not enough followers?

Add your comments.

Category: Authors, Christ, Christianity, Christians, culture, Humor, ministry, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

“God Behaving Badly” (exclusive interview with author Dr. David Lamb)

lisacolondelay / November 9, 2011 / 4 comments

Dr David Lamb ..."the Bible guy"

God Behaving Badly: Is God Angry, Sexist and Racist?
The cheeky title sucked me right in, so I contacted Dr. Lamb to learn more about his new book. I read a (free) PDF copy, and shot him some questions. His answers are below. Since he took the time to write about the tough stuff, I figured he’d be okay if I pitched with a hardball. I hope you enjoy it.

PLUS. Check out what I wrote up as a review for the book at Amazon, here. I don’t pull punches, with my pros and cons. It’s a blogger integrity thing.

Also–See how you can get your very own free, signed copy at the end of the post.

INTERVIEW:
Dave, thanks for giving me a PDF copy of your book to read. Here are a few burning questions:

1. Your sense of humor comes out a lot in GBB, which makes it enjoyable to read. (Old Testament and theology stuff is often a dry topic, have you noticed?) So, am I right to assume that you and D.A. Carson are not involved in a comedy improv group together?

Carson keeps asking me to come on tour with his troupe, but previous engagements prohibit.

Yes, I’ve noticed that books on the OT or theology aren’t generally enjoyable to read. The most critical initial reader of the book didn’t like my tone and humor. He wanted me to use words like “ontological”, but I’ve told close friends if I ever use that word they have permission to dope-slap me instantly. I wanted to write a book that not only discussed some of the most troubling passages in Scripture, but also made people laugh. George Bernard Shaw said, “If you are going to tell people the truth, make them laugh, or they will kill you.” That’s my personal motto.

2. What prompted you to write the book? (An experience?  A conversation? A “journey”? A course you were teaching? etc.)

I love teaching on difficult texts and ignored texts. This book brought those two interests together.

It’s hard to say something fresh about John 3:16 (“been there, done that”). It’s not hard to say something fresh about Uzzah (2 Sam. 6 The guy God smote after he touched the ark to steady it for falling.) because preachers and teachers are afraid to talk about texts like that. No one’s heard a sermon on Uzzah before, so the one I give might be the best one they’ve ever heard.

It also comes out of either insecurity or defensiveness. When you teach OT in the world where the NT reigns supreme you feel like you want to address that situation, to defend the OT and YHWH. Ultimately, it breaks my heart that people don’t love and appreciate the OT and the God it describes.

3. So, do you consider GBB a theological book? ….Or, what category do you think it fits into?

My favorite question to ask students while discussing a biblical text is, “What do we learn about God here?” I guess that makes me theologian, although, I’d rather be called a student of the Bible (or better yet, “a Bible guy”).

GBB is mainly a book about the Bible, particularly the Old Testament. I don’t quote many scholars, theologians or apologists, but at the back GBB has a 5-page Scripture index filled with literally hundreds of Bible references.

4.  I think the ones most likely to best appreciate your book are
Seekers, Doubters, and untrained or new Christians. Though well-researched, it does not  read like an academic-styled book. Who do you think it’s best for?

The primary audience includes people who are troubled by what they read in the Old Testament. I think that means everyone.

5. Your book covers a really tough and confusing issue with regards to Old Testament Law. Rape. On page 179 you say, “Even though God hates rape, he commands a woman to marry her rapist.” Ugh. I don’t think this argument really works to help your point, Dave. Can you explain this topic a bit more?

The dynamics of courtship and marriage in the OT context are indeed much different than they are today. Many of us realize that most rapes are committed not by strangers, but by acquaintances, and I’m pretty sure this was true in OT times, so some of these dynamics may come into play into contexts like Deut. 22, which may have been comparable to a “date rape”. The distinction between rape, and seduction between people who know each other sometimes blurs, but the fact that various OT laws are engaging this topic, and are generally mandating severe penalties for the perpetrator in order to protect the victim was progressive in the ancient Near East.

6. Suppose someone argues that you are just making a bunch of excuses for God to make him a “better sale”. How would you respond to that?

Yep. That’s true. Although, it’s hard to sell something if you believe your product is crap. Gifted salespeople could do that. I couldn’t. It helps to have a product that you believe in. The God that I encounter in the pages of the Old Testament is highly compelling, so it makes for an easy sale, even with all the smiting.

I don’t deny that I have a bias (I’m post-modern). I try to state my biases up front. I would want to hear what the bias is of people who think I’m making excuses for God. Once we get our biases out in the open, then I would want to look at the text together and discuss it. Hopefully, we could then learn from each other.

7. I appreciate that you don’t claim to know everything about the meanings of the laws, recorded acts, and motivations of God in the Testaments. In general, would you like to encourage readers to be okay (flexible) with not knowing all the whys and particulars in the troubling passages of the Bible? Do you see a practical application for doing this?

We’re going to need to be OK without knowing all the whys because these texts will never fully make sense to anyone. We need to work to gain understanding, but we won’t arrive at that point ever. If someone thinks they understand all the troubling Bible texts, they are either naïve, deceived or arrogant. In GBB, I’m trying to give people helpful tools for understanding tough texts (I hope to do more of that in a future book). If we’re OK with not fully solving these problematic passages, then we can be free to look at them and begin to make more sense of them.

The practical application is that students and teachers of the Bible would not avoid, but they would seek out troubling texts and be eager to teach on them. These texts have profound lessons to teach us about God and God’s character. I personally believe Paul wasn’t high when he said “all Scripture is inspired and profitable for teaching, for reproof…” (2 Tim 3:16), so maybe we should teach “all Scripture”. And Paul was talking about the Old Testament primarily. Most pastors and Bible teachers might say they agree with Paul, but when you look at what they teach and preach on, they don’t agree with Paul.

8. What one thing (or you can pick a few) do you think people get wrong when they try to understand the God recorded in Scriptures?

I could pick a lot of things, but if I had to focus on one thing people get wrong I’d say people want a God they can completely understand and predict. Our tiny brains can’t fully comprehend God and his behavior. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, but he’s not going to fit neatly into our systematic theology framework. This shouldn’t surprise us because we can’t fully understand people and people are made in God’s image. Both God and humans are complex, mysterious.

God also wants to have a real relationship with us not to fit into our conceptual framework of the divine. At risk of being trite, C.S. Lewis said in the Chronicles of Narnia that “Aslan is not a tame lion”. The first time I read that it didn’t make sense to me. Later, it just made me mad. Now, I think it’s brilliant. We want to tame God by putting him into our conceptual frameworks so we can understand him. That’s just not going to happen. If I were God (a big “if”), that would piss me off.

9. Anything else you’d like to add?
 This book is meant to encourage people to not be afraid of the Old Testament and the God it describes.  It addresses 7 problems, each in only 1 chapter.  So, it’s not meant to give a final exhaustive answer to these questions, but hopefully it can be a starting point.  I could recommend other books that go into more detail, but the best way to keep working on these issues is to study and discuss problematic passages in the context of community, with family and friends, in small groups and Sunday school classes.  As people do this, they will deepen their relationships with each other, as well as their relationship with God.

I agree! Thanks, Dave, and thanks to all of you for reading. To read more from Dave find his blog, here.

WANT YOUR VERY OWN SIGNED COPY—FREE?

For a chance to win a signed copy (and a box of chocolates from me), click the Tweet This button below. Not on Twitter? For shame! Making a twitter account takes 90 seconds. Go for it here: Otherwise–Link to this page from your Facebook page, an email, your blog (or other social media). Someone will be chosen November 20th. The more times you tweet, or link here, the better your chances. Whoot- Whoot!

Category: Authors, blogging, Books, Christ, Christianity, Christians, culture, Humor, pain, Spiritual growth, Theology, worldviews / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

God as Smiter

lisacolondelay / November 7, 2011 / No comments

God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob...perhaps putting the smite on someone.

On Wednesday, I have something special for ya’ll. My interview with David Lamb will be posted. It’s one of the most interesting interviews I’ve ever done. In his new book, he covers smiting, among other things. It’s called God Behaving Badly: Is the God of the Old Testament Angry, Sexist and Racist?

In advance of this über cool post, I want to throw out something to chew on.

What bothers you most about God? Just be honest. Maybe nothing does, or maybe you think he smites people recklessly in the Old Testament accounts. Maybe you think he has Anger Management Issues… whatever it is, let’s hear it.

Then we’ll tackle (or approach might be the more accurate word) at least some of those things this week.

Also, feel free to check out these related previous posts:

The Man Upstairs Fallacy

Confusing God with the dad you got (Also features best “worst dad” photo. seriously.)

God with a Spatula (Does God spank us?)

 My personal review of David Lamb’s God Behaving Badly (at amazon)

 

Category: Authors, Bible, blogging, Christianity, Christians, church, culture, fear, Humor, Scriptures, Spiritual Formation, suffering, Theology, worldviews / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Teaming Up with Beacon Ads

lisacolondelay / November 2, 2011 / No comments

Good news!

The folks at Beacon Ads thought I had enough “blog / internet cred” out there on the interwebs to join their stable of websites/bloggers with advertising management. Last year though. Nope.

What? you say…..is this….well, you know…The Big Leagues? Um, a wee little bit.

I’ve made some big gains in the last 6 months, but I’m still what you might call an “up-and-comer” …Fortunately if you have something to promote, this also means, compared to other Beacon sites (like Donald Miller, Michael Hyatt, the Gospel Coalition, and so on, you can click this to see them) ads here are a primo value. For this year anyway…Prime Spots, and Super reasonable pricing. After that? Who knows. I could be the next Beiber of the inter webs…or I could turn out more like Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Wasn’t that fun? (If this 10 second video didn’t play for you, here’s the link.)

Remember when Zach kissed Lisa, which was totally like stabbing Screech in the back? Screech just rips his shirt in calm but potent teen outrage. (Zach was a preppy, so this was NUTZ!) Late 1980s Saturday morning television in its heyday, people.

So if you have a book, a service, an album, a blog, a product, a trendy t-shirt, or some such “merch,” consider advertising right here, at this blog. To learn more just click the Advertise Here squares, and the folks at Beacon will make getting good promotion for you a snap!

Category: blogging, Humor / Tags: , ,

Halloween Night: A Christian Spiritual Practice?

lisacolondelay / November 2, 2011 / One comment

Porch Party 2011
We have a rather long side porch. On Monday, we fixed it up in creepy fashion. I stuffed pants and shirts and placed them on chairs to look like scarecrows. Plastic spiders, snakes, mice were peppered near candy bowls. Candles and illuminated pumpkins lit the way. We used the internet to stream in 50s-60s themed music (Think Monster Mash and the rest). Out in the back, our fire pit made a toasty atmosphere on a chilly night; and coffee, warm cider, and cookies added to the warmth, on a few levels.

The most fun was meeting new neighbors, re-connecting known neighbors, and talking with them. I realized that there isn’t another “holiday” like this one. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter usually involve travel, plenty of food prep, and a different schedule for school or work. Not Halloween. What other time do you have dozens of neighbors interacting with you on your property…at night? It’s a unique night. It’s an opportunity.

Our visitors and friends loved the decor and seemed touched by the effort. Can I say there was joy? Can I say that, for this sort of thing? Well, there was.

I had more time this year, so I sort of “caught the bug” and went all-out. I don’t think is was the Halloween spirit either. It was the Christmas one, arriving early…like department store merchandise. And in the middle of all that good cheer, I wondered, why don’t communities, groups, or Christians team up more often create a safe, fun, and loving atmosphere for these kids and families that come to visit every year? That’s a wasted opportunity, is it not?

I learned some other amazing things:

1. When you prepare to love on people, they “get it”. (Open appreciation: Everyone wore smiles, and said thank you–a lot! It was a delight to just be giving. I got more than I gave. Seriously.)

2. Being welcoming doesn’t take much money. (I was planning to buy candy for trick-or-treaters anyway. I used things I already had to decorate, and my neighbor joined in–donating decor, and cookies.) Pretty cool, huh?

3. My kids love to host and create community. In this way, they learn compassion and kindness. All on their own, they handed out treats, informed visitors of our “amenities”, interacted with the children, and helped people find their way around. How else would I have gotten to see this?

4. It’s only 2 hours. While some parties can linger, and take lot of food prep time, have logistic issues, trick-or-treat night is a specified time with a fairly easy menu. Most people make the time for it, somehow. For our neighborhood, it lasts from 6-8p.m. It’s not too hard to get some extra things ready to make it a more memorable and a special time for visitors.

5. It shines a light in the darkness. Times are tough, and there a lot of bad news and bad things happening in the world. It’s nice to give people something good. I find it totally ironic that this could or should be best served on Halloween. But why not? No day can shut out God’s Light and Love. (This also gives new meaning to the phrase “Take Back the Night”, yeah?)

See, as a kid, raised in a very conservative Christian home, and my parents believed that going out for candy in costume on October 31st was colluding with the Devil. “It’s Satan’s Day,” I used to hear. Strangely enough, for all our protesting of it, the (unintentional) focus was more on Halloween and evil, than is was for any typical trick-or-treater. Now, that’s whack. Sometimes our efforts to be “righteous” (or whatever) have the opposite intended consequences. It seems we had it all backwards. Reinvention is key.

Is Halloween a Christian Holiday?
Well, I’ll be honest and say I had no plans to hand out tracts, or influence a conversion experience to Christianity, but it was a rather blessed time.

I don’t think I’ve had the chance to touch so many lives in such a short time, as I did on Monday. And to barrow (Chariots of Fire) Eric Liddell’s phrasing, “I feel God’s pleasure.” Parents and kids alike remember who was kind and had a fun place to visit. And that, my friends, is shining a light. (The short answer is just, “yes, it is now”.)

Have you ever done this sort of thing for Halloween night? If not, maybe next year, you can make some effort to spread more love and good cheer on this night too. Will you?

Here are some photos of our night:

Category: Christianity, Christians, Community, culture, discernment, evil, Gratitude, Holidays, Humor, Integrating Spirituality, Jesus, ministry / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Blogs I Like

lisacolondelay / October 30, 2011 / 5 comments

(Must be a dog blog. hum. Could this just be a kitty laughing, or must it be a freak out?)

In a previous post, I promised I would review some blogs and give a report on my favorites.

First, bear in mind that I read probably 20-30 blogs regularly, and others occasionally. For this reason, I won’t cover all of the ones I like, today. Now, don’t feel offended if yours, or one you dig, didn’t make it in. Instead, submit links of up to 3 of your favorite blogs in the comments, and we’ll visit them. I’ll consider them in a future “Blogs I Like” blog in January.

Also, I won’t cover blogs from super well-known people (think: kickin’ Alexa Rating), especially if I’ve already mentioned them in past posts.

Here are some new blogs I’ve started reading quite recently because of reader recommendations, or other connections:

Students of Jesus: Taking the Yoke of Discipleship Ray Hollenbach’s blog has a rich meditative vibe. Good content and thoughtful.

Teh=The Warwick Fuller is a bookish, 25% hipster, and an active dad and husband, who pens some worthwhile stuff. He’s fairly random with his topics, but I’m a fan. I also have a personal preference for his “Nana Stories” which are offbeat and charming.

Between the Sheets: A Novelist’s Adventures Heather Webb’s blog post are often delicious. Although I wish she posted more often, when she does she will often include amazing recipes.

Telling Stories Courtney Walsh is a scrappy author and scrapbooker whose site is awash in great visuals (photos, art, etc.), plus stories, and stuff on food, parenting, domestic diva/homemaking themes, rural life, and such. Likable!

Mom to 5: Full Time Mom, Part Time Sanity Sherri Jason has a great sense of humor, and she needs to, she’s be pregnant for years (if you add it all up). This reproductive quality is sort of a family tradition. Her sister Ginny also has 5 kids, and does guest posts on some Fridays, called Funny Farm Fridays. The antics of busy family life abound here, and many a busy parent can relate, or just be contented to know they don’t and won’t have enough children for a basketball team.

Awake My Soul Laura Crosby’s blog is insightful, honest, and nicely written. It’s a fairly recent venture (Feb 2011), but her welcome page made me realize that we’ve had the same sorts of thoughts about bloggers and blogging. So far, so good, Laura!

5 Personal Favorites:
Blogs and Bloggers for whom I make time to read…who are also not in the category of  ”widely famed”…yet.

These authors post with predictability (most of the time) and have high quality content. Two musts for me to be a loyalist. (Yes, the list ought to be much longer, but I’m setting myself a limit…5….because I’m told this is healthy behavior.)

Ed Cyzewski Blog - In a Mirror Dimly is one of those blogs that is just consistently top notch. Ed posts frequently, and his installments can deepen your thinking, encourage you, and offer great insights. He focuses on spiritual things, practical theology, and writing. He’ll also write on other things he likes, gardening/canning, the outdoors, and rabbits.

Caleb Wilde‘s blog Confessions of a Funeral Director: Working At the Crossroads of This World and the Next might sound, well…dark and morbid, at first blush. Death is after all macabre. What is surprising and winsome about this blog is that Caleb offers hope, as a matter of course. His unique insights on living and yes, dying, are worth the read.

Christopher Cocca: Chris is funny, quirky, and interesting–all stuff I like. He’s sort of a hippie, too, in a nice way. This makes me feel young and “with it”. I’m hooked. Another great thing about Chris is that he’s generous, and regularly shares the love by promoting other writers.

Thom Turner Writer, editor (for GENERATE magazine), poet, and soulful guy, Thom has a blog called Everyday Liturgy. It’s a perfect read for a short and potent spiritual shot in your day. Lately he’s also been blogging about Food and Christian ethics. A weird mix, you say? Maybe, but it gets you thinking. And think you should. (sorry..got a wee bit yoda on ya’ll) I’m looking forward to Thom’s prayer book project as well.

Brett McCracken This hipster-esque writer is under-rated. Though he’s written for some big outfits The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, CNN.com, The Princeton Theological Review, Mediascape, Books & Culture, and Christianity Today, to name a few, plus a very enjoyable book…

…I get the sense that he’s not receiving the props or reader traffic he truly deserves at his Still Searching blog. It’s like a “best kept secret” type of thing. Well, not on my watch, peoples. Not. On. My. Watch. Brett writes about culture, film, art, books, and stuff you’d expect to overhear at a college coffeehouse, if erudite students were hanging out…ya know, chillaxin’ and sh–tuff (Whoops, no one says chillaxin‘. It’s long “over,” dudes.) So. Right. Brett is pensive and interesting.

Who did I miss?

Category: Authors, blogging, Books, Christianity, film, Food, Gratitude, Humor, Recommendations, stress, worldviews / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Is Mark Driscoll a Cult Leader?” (Infographic)

lisacolondelay / October 26, 2011 / 2 comments

In the last post I talked about the qualities of a cult, or a group that has social decay (some cult-like qualities). I got some questions, such as: “So, are you implying that Mark Driscoll is a cult leader?”

Gosh… that’s awkward. Instead of making a pronouncement, I’ll let you judge for yourself.

I made this handy info graphic to make the whole thing easier to understand. Enjoy.

Cool bonus. This image may be shared. I encourage you to read and adhere to this Creative Commons license of this work. Thank you.

 
Creative Commons License

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Category: Authors, blogging, BOOM, Christianity, Christians, church, Community, culture, evangelism, Humor, Infographic, ministry, stress, Theology / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Whoops, I’m in a Cult

lisacolondelay / October 25, 2011 / 2 comments

Healthy Group or Destructive & Cult-like Group?

Though many close-knit groups or committed communities are not cults, plenty of groups can deteriorate socially so they have cult-like qualities. Maybe even your group.

Groups spreading throughout the spectrum of political or social affiliations have charismatic leaders with devoted and idealistic followers who are purposefully controlled. Not nice. While some affiliations exist casually (like a fervent groups of friends), others are more official and carefully structured, or even well-known. Regardless, socially destructive groups share some commonalities that may surprise you. So, what are they, and do they apply to you?

2 Tipoffs:
Destructive Cult groups  have parallel traits that make them unhealthy, but also identifiable. (And yes, “Destructive Cult” are redundant terms.)

1. Employing forms of mind/behavior control (particularly for influencing decision-making)

2. Employing forms of Social Control. (Using social pressure to ensure the adoption of specific ideologies, control approved behaviors and practices; and to create isolation from others/outsiders.) 

Teens and young adults can be very susceptible. Social misfits are routinely targeted for recruitment. And most potent?–The almighty “Love Bomb” which works like magic.

Our Challenge:
Make wise decisions in our social bonds, relationships, and commitments; and connect with healthy and gracious communities. Reject controlling leaders and the lure of co-dependent and enmeshed relationships. Instead, nurture Interdependence and free-thinking. We should watch for signs of social decay. Human nature unabated lusts for power. If we locate damaging qualities, we should address them prudently and graciously. And, we should part ways if these qualities persist, or worsen.

Myth: Cults are religious.
Cult groups are not limited to the religious/belief variety. On the contrary, plenty are political groups; social groups; activism groups, market-driven/sales organizations; and wellness/self-help groups. And of course, they don’t think they are cults, let alone admit they are. You have to figure it out for yourself. Once one is emotionally, socially, or financially dependent, this gets quite difficult. Or should I say diffiCULT? (Gosh, sorry. It would appear I have a pun disorder.)

Steven Hassan (one of America’s leading experts on cults), says:

”Nobody sets out to join a cult. No one knowingly wants to give up their life, their needs, their goals. ”They come to believe they’re improving themselves and improving the world, and it is then they are led into a psychological trap. It could happen to anybody.”

Hassan, who was once a Moonie cult member, says 4 elements of control are used in cult type groups (The BITE model):

• Behavior Control

• Information Control

• Thought Control

• Emotional Control

He lists 26 specific characteristics, within these 4 headings, at his resource site is here. It’s very informative and worth the 2-3 minute read.

Have you been part of a group with some “BITE”?
I have (though it was long ago, thankfully). 

And this nifty site (SOS Soberity) shares 5 traits of Cult Leaders; and they even have a helpful questionnaire to figure out if you (or someone you know), might be in a cult. It’s practically fun…okay, it’s mildly amusing…well, if it all wasn’t so malicious and creepy in the first place, that is.

Here’s a partial quote from them:

Healthy organizations are voluntary associations where people collaborate to work out their ideas with a shared purpose and specific goal. Everyone is free to criticize and hold different opinions from that of the group’s leadership. Differences of opinion are welcomed and respected. There is no psychological pressure to conform and no atmosphere of enforced uniformity. Members are free to… (click to read the rest.)

Have you seen these qualities for yourself, or seen them nearby?
If so, Please, share your stories.
(Remember: Responding anonymously is an available option in the comments section.)

-Thank you! oxo Lisa

PS
ugh. This post was really serious, so to avoid this being the nadir of your day (especially if you just realized that you’re sort of in a cult, which is typically a huge downer) I pose this bitty “challenge”:

If you were a cult leader, what would be the coolest cult outfit for you and your members? The traditional death cult jumpsuit? Homemade head coverings and sandals? Or maybe something more unique?

(Please note if you’d like to wear something fancier as the leader, because—obviously, in this case– you have unmitigated control.) Are there any secret cultish fashionistas among us? Oh, and promise me you won’t get too excited by this and become a cult leader, okay? Resist the temptation. (If you are already a cult leader, just leave your social security number and mother’s maiden name.)

Category: blogging, Christianity, church, Community, culture, discernment, Humor, Spirituality, superstition / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Twisted Fruit (Picture Needs Caption)

lisacolondelay / October 24, 2011 / One comment

Caption Please. Extra points if you Christianize it, some how, as you may be wont to do. So, be creative and bear good fruit.

My market may have the corner on reject grapes. If any image could mar the “Remain in the Vine” metaphor, this one might (John 15:5); or maybe it reflects a different spiritual truth. What do you think? If you had to create a sermon around this photo, what would be the theme?

The surprise was that I expected that a grape so pinched in/by the vine would be rotten at the protrusion, but nope. It tasted fine, even though the squeeze was on.

Other fun, informative and Fruity posts:

12 Fruit of the Spirit that never made the cut
The Giving Rules, plus Jesus with a dinosaur. (helpful gifts and corruption formula)

Category: Christ, Christianity, Humor, Nature, Scriptures, Spiritual growth, Walking with God / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Followup on “Sexy Worship” Post

lisacolondelay / October 22, 2011 / 5 comments

Photo of "corporate worship" (not a person in a bar waving "hello"...I think.)

By way of followup to the previous post, it’s probably wise to broach the topic of corporate and individual worship more thoroughly. Please note that the earnestness of this post topic is best served (here, in this venue, anyway) when swathed in a modicum of levity.

This time around, I’d like to discuss this, not just post my thoughts. I see a great benefit in conversation here; and saw it already and especially over at Stand Firm in the Faith: Anglicanism in America. There, Matt Kennedy covered my recent article (On Being Embarrassed When Worship Songs Seem Sexual). I appreciated reading the several dozen responses, and found most of them helpful. You can also read them here. After you reflect on this topic, whether you read the other responses or not, I hope you too will respond with your own thoughts or insights on the matter.

As I mentioned in the last post, personal worship and devotional practices, such as involvement in literature (biblical or otherwise), poetry, songs, and psalms may have a decidedly personal angle (or perspective) as relating to God. Also, it’s not just a contemporary convention that worship “songs” (most of which are prayer-like in structure and form) focus on the individual rather than, or at the expense of, the corporate church assembly.

The Romantic period gave us plenty of examples of this phenomena in art and literature. Even earlier, John Donne offered up intimate imagery within various genres. One example is his Holy Sonnet 14.

 John Donne (1572-1631)

Holy Sonnet XIV:

Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

It seems, this sonnet, and countless other early examples of a similar sort, were not meant for corporate participation. This stands in contrast to the worship songs sung within church groups these days. Nevertheless, these works provide vehicles for deeper communion with God. They may easily benefit our spiritual formation.

At  Stand Firm in the Faith, Carl wrote:

The Bridal Imagery in Scripture is predicated upon a collectivized image the Church.  It cannot and should not and must never be personalized.

This offers an excellent point to consider. I’ve heard many minters tell their audience that church is about worship (not performances, decor, fellowship, good preaching, etc.). Haven’t you? We may quickly assume, though, that church should be about our worship experience. Instead it is centered on the Church–the people Christ has saved–offering adoration to the Creator and Savior, whether we are conscious of it, or not.

Incidentally, worship happens with Christians past, present, and future, which is another reality we miss with regularity. So, it’s a Christian worldview, not merely a reduction of that. Worship mustn’t be viewed chiefly as an opportunity of personal expression to God, Jesus…and Spirit. Therefore, if worship is selfish, it’s not worship (of God) at all.

The Christian mystics throughout Christian history may have seen this sort of intimacy differently. This will take some research for me to know for sure, but if any of you have insights here, please share them. I would deeply appreciate it.

A crucial question to ask ourselves, or to those we minister: Is corporate worship intimate to compensate for a lack of intimate personal devotional practices, and a deepening relationship with God?

What about you:
Are your times of personal devotions usually more or less intimate than your corporate worship times?

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Category: Authors, blogging, Christ, culture, devotions, Humor, Jesus, ministry, music, Mysticism, Prayer, Psalms, Scriptures, Spiritual practices, Spirituality, Theology, Walking with God, worldviews, Worship / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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