Lisa Colón DeLay

“If you truly love God and his will, then doing what you will, will, in fact, be doing what God wills.” – Peter Kreeft

Many of us strive to learn or discover God’s will. But, it can be confusing.

Dr Peter Kreeft offers 5 insights:

• Always begin with data

with what we know for sure. Judge the unknown by the known, the uncertain by the certain. Adam and Eve neglected that principle in Eden and ignored God’s clear command and warning for the devil’s promised pig in a poke.

• Let your heart educate your mind

Let your love of God educate your reason in discerning his will. Jesus teaches this principle in John 7:17 to the Pharisees. (Would that certain Scripture scholars today would heed it!) They were asking how they could interpret his words, and he gave them the first principle of hermeneutics (the science of interpretation): “If your will were to do the will of my Father, you would understand my teaching.” The saints understand the Bible better than the theologians, because they understand its primary author, God, by loving him with their whole heart and their whole mind.

• Have a soft heart but a hard head

  We should be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves,” sharp as a fox in thought but loyal as a dog in will and deed. Soft-heartedness does not excuse soft-headedness, and hard-headedness does not excuse hard-heartedness.

• All God’s signs should line up

  by a kind of trigonometry. There are at least seven such signs: (1) Scripture, (2) church teaching, (3) human reason (which God created), (4) the appropriate situation, or circumstances (which he controls by his providence), (5) conscience, our innate sense of right and wrong, (6) our individual personal bent or desire or instincts, and (7) prayer. Test your choice by holding it up before God’s face. If one of these seven voices says no, don’t do it. If none say no, do it.

• Look for the fruits of the spirit

  especially the first three: love, joy, and peace. If we are angry and anxious and worried, loveless and joyless and peaceless, we have no right to say we are sure of being securely in God’s will. Discernment itself should not be a stiff, brittle, anxious thing, but—since it too is part of God’s will for our lives—loving and joyful and peace-filled, more like a game than a war, more like writing love letters than taking final exams.

Do you agree… disagree… or have any thoughts on Dr Kreeft’s insights?

Click to read the rest of the (lengthy) article.

Installments in this Discernment Series have often been on Fridays, but this week, I have a special announcement Friday. Come back for that.

Or, never miss new content…click the update link in the right sidebar (top)

Starting February 2013 there will be a learning and friendship group (a.k.a. The Cadre) with the public hub here www.facebook.com/TheCadre360. Spaces are limited for the core group, but all are welcomed to request admittance and view the public fulcrum The Cadre 360.

I invite you to learn more by clicking the tab (The Cadre) above also.

Just a short a reflection on the nature of weirdness, today, from the jumping off point off…

Photography.

(You thought I was going to say Vice Presidential debates, right?)

It’s occurred to me that with copious current technology (like iPhones, and Instagram, etc) all of us can be photographers.

Not good ones, necessarily, but we can all attempt to capture a real life image to keep for later.
Photos are plentiful. So, what rises up above the noise?

Two things:

1. A unique or usual perspective

2. Weirdness

What is meant by the word “weird” anyway?

It’s something that catches off-gaurd or seems “not quite right”. Weird can be interesting or ghastly.

Most of all, weirdness provokes thought or response. It engages us somehow.

We need it. As people and as artists. Otherwise we somehow fall asleep…in all the wrong ways.

At the Story conference in Chicago, Erwin McManus said poignantly,

You don’t have to have hope to create art, but you have to have hope to create beauty.

Art can be both weird and beautiful.
Sometimes art needs to be ugly. It serves an important purpose. But in “ugly” themes we shouldn’t stay put, because then we arrive at inaccuracy. Lasting and excellent art (and creative expression) is where beauty and accuracy intersect. Not asethetic beauty, mind you. Something more. Something deeper that exposes underlying ideals of goodness or truth in its many facets.

Tell me…What was the last WEIRD thing you created or found?

Also…what do you think about the featured man-dog photo? weird? cute? funny? creepy?

(photo source)

Probably the first thing people think of with “Depth” in Leadership is experience and know-how. Good stuff….but I think there’s an undervalued “Special Sauce” to Leadership …more on that in a minute.

Here’s the important and obligatory mention of the impetus for this post:

I’m contributing to this week’s new Deeper Leader Blog topic “How Do We Define ‘Depth’ in Leadership?”

The Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog sponsored by Evangelical Seminary is running September 24-28th. (A new topic will be offered up for contributions once or twice per month. It’s a great place to read fresh ideas, get inspiration, learn some things, or join in anytime.)

Remember, you are invited and encouraged to add your voice to this dialogue too by commenting here, or over there, or linking up your related article if you write one. Go here for more details to get started. 

The Special Sauce

I’m not sure why I said it like that. I guess I’ve landed on something: The loudest leaders aren’t the best at it. Not usually.

Sure, the leaders who get the gigs and have the awesome bio paragraphs, big numbers and impressive sounding credentials seem the most successful. But, I’ve been most transformed and most influenced by the “nobodies”. The ones with quiet and stable wisdom.

I have a rather introverted spiritual director, for instance. She’s grandmotherly and loving. Though she’s formally trained and experienced she won’t be featured at the upcoming Catalyst conference, trust me. She won’t be recognized by “big shots”, nearly all of whom are men, by the way. Perhaps she doesn’t fit their paradigm for leadership experts.

It’s her consistency, character, and depth of understanding that make her easy to follow. I trust her. I listen to her wise words. I soak in her tidings.

ALPHAS

In a world of big burger alpha leaders we can forget about the Special Sauce. The stuff that makes ordinary people worth trusting and following. It comes from battle-tried life experience, courage, and the willingness to care, help, and listen.

It’s funny too because popularity in leadership seems arbitrary. Dave Ramsey, for an example, is all about Leadership (as well as finance). He even coined a term for his leadership training called “Entreleadership”. He’s at the top of the pile with courses, podcasts, books, and resources out the wazoo. I’ll bet he helps a lot of people with all of it too. Yet, when I listen to him on his radio show, I’m not sure I’d like to spend a full evening with the man. Even though I think he’s aces with financial freedom advice, I don’t think he’s earned trust within me like my lowly mentor has done so easily. I’d have to spend time with him to figure that out for certain, of course.

Depth is best seen when when know someone. Their influence may be like a secret special sauce that goes unnoticed but changes everything.

That’s depth that makes a positive difference.

It’s hard to absorb everything that I’ve seen and experienced here at the STORY conference  in Chicago. It’s a festival and experience punctuated with poignant presentations. I plan to have a day of silence just to process and pray.

Phil Vischer the founder of Big Idea and the voice of “Bob the Tomato” was the final presenter. His story was one of being miserable when he thought he had gotten what he wanted. He wanted to be the next Walt Disney, but he got stress. With success came a lawsuit that killed his Big Idea.

It turns out God wants us to change more than he cares about all the things we can do for him. All our talents and ideas even when they are noble and good aren’t as important as becoming who God wants us to be which is radically different than we are now.

The journey is never what we expect, and I wonder if living in the moment is closer to what we should do. A trust that is child-like in presentation. Expectant but not begrudging.

I think I should try to ee ready to say “yes” to God in whatever way big or small that is occurring at the time. Going with the flow…like a Jellyfish. (Phil said that his new company name “Jellyfish Labs” reflects this principle, because jellyfish go squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down, but the they are helpless to move another way. They must go where the current takes them.)

What a learning process life is. We think it’s more than squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down. We get to re-learn that a million times.

It takes being ruined or broken or ill to get us to that point sometimes. I think of my beloved Old Testament Professor who claimed true the same thing that Phil did. Talented in languages, he had big plans of making the Bible accessible, especially old testament law, which is always misunderstood and mistranslated. What great and ambitious goal. But he got very ill, and has battled illness and almost died many times in 3 decades since that time.

Is God keeping him at a certain spot? Just squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down, and hanging on to God for each moment and each day.

How will your Story end?

I can tell you this: It’s going to be a surprise. And that’s the point.

Yatmandu via Compfight

The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.

— Kenneth Blanchard

Today’s Wisdom:

A Good Leader Invites.

Some bosses are still tyrannical and ill-tempered. Is it just immaturity, or is some of this vestiges of wartime attitudes that still seep into the management and leadership styles of corporations or even families?

“Do as I say. That’s an order, soldier!”

The big flaw in a bossy leadership style is that civilians are not subject to demands of rank and orders from a autocrats.

They can quit.

They can walk off the job, or worse than any of that, they can undermine everything and stay onboard, resentfully.

What kills morale more than passive-aggresive subordinates mucking up the works, sabotaging projects, and sucking the life out of a group? It’s dire.

Instead, Leaders of this era must INVITE rather than command.

That means that good Leaders draw in their followers rather than intimidating them.

Despot types will always be among us, but the focus in Leadership development these days isn’t about demanding respect. It’s about what gets results and makes positive change. It centers on earning respect.

Do you remember a time when a Leader invited you?

The best examples often come from the world of coaching and mentoring. These relationships are not forced, but forged, mutually.

There, Leadership is not where Authority is the predominant issue; trust is what counts.

I’m happy to be a Contributor at the Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog that runs September 10-14th.

You’re welcome to add your voice too. Go here to get details. When you contribute, I’ll be sure to check for your link and read your contribution.

This is my son Nathan.
He’s 12.5 years old.

It’s been a rough few days with him. It’s a dicey combo mixing burgeoning adolescence and the Autistic experience.

His will is strong and he’s often unreasonable. He thinks he’s the rightful King of his world and ours; and I’ve felt discouraged about how poorly things have been going.

But…today, he built these glasses, and it got me to thinking about perspective.

And it gave me a new one.

What’s the bigger lesson here?

What if our windows of perspective are cloudy?

What if the shutters are closed?

How will an obstructed view hurt my ability to guide, lead, or learn?

Will I even be able to notice how poor my vision is?
And how can I get help seeing better?

It’s true that our perspective is limited.

The fact is easy to miss.
We flare with emotion in the dearth of comprehending how perspective works, or doesn’t work.

But, indeed, we can’t possibly see the full view, just the narrow vision our particular spectacles allow.

And with new lens our perspective changes.

Unwittingly, Nathan gave me the encouragement I needed.

This is actually an answer to my prayer for help.

Keep pushing on and Remember the lesson of the Lego Spectacles!

To you Leaders and Bloggers: Don’t forget to link-up with the SynchroBLOG on Leadership sponsored by Evangelical Seminary. Write something this week and contribute September 10-14. 

The Gene Anderson joins us today. Gene is a supportive friend, pastor, poet, and percussionist who blogs as he wanders along the Way at Rucksack Revolution and today is enjoying his 49 birthday at the beach with friends. Happy Birthday, Gene.

Photo Credit: Fabio Pierboni via Compfight (brothel menu)

On Sunday, I heard someone say, “Sometimes when I pray, I don’t feel anything.”

Has this happened to you? It has for me.
There’s no magic. It’s like talking to the wall.

“Blah blah blah. meh.”

Sometimes we approach prayer and other spiritual practices with certain expectations, right? We want an experience or we hope for some immediate return for our effort. It shouldn’t be dull, we think. It shouldn’t be lifeless.

In trying to connect with God we wonder if it’s really a two way street.

Maybe it’s the same thing we wonder in our other relationships. Am I doing all the rowing on this boat?

In this, I’m reminded of the lessons from my seminary professor who made a point to tell us that Yahweh switched things up on his people–most of the time. No victory was won the same way twice. Was God pushing the limits of their expectations? Probably.

I wonder if these variances happened precisely because God is personal. I wonder if God is always the same by way of consistently changing: A characteristic of a living God and ongoing relationship. Usually personal beings resist manipulation, right?

What happens when we want something to be predictable…a sure thing? A wife and a prostitute can do the same horizontal function, but there’s something about doing it for cash changes the whole thing…a lot, I assume. The latter is less a relationship and more of a phlegmatic transaction with the veneer of allure. The outcome is very predictable. Hence, relationship as a commodity has a dehumanizing (or depersonalizing) consequence. (Refer to the above image posted outside a brothel. It’s a menu.)

Isn’t it spiritually healthier for us when God shows us that he’s not coin operated or predictable, but rather relational and multifaceted? We wouldn’t want to be treated like a vending machine either, so maybe it makes sense that God would “keep things fresh”. Strangely, God risks frustrating us to foster growth.

If you’re feeling like you’re “praying to the wall” lately, realize that you are the verge of a growth-enhancing switcheroo…better named: a new movement of the divine. Be on the look out for it.

Oh, and when you spot it then it’ll change again soon.

Through this God shows us that he’s intricate and personal, not static and mechanized. He draws us into something deeper. He gives us something for an advancement of faith, sight unseen.

Where are you right now?
On the verge of change or knee-deep in a fresh one?

Thoughts or comments?

Photo Credit: Kempton via Compfight

Prince William and Catherine Middleton had this prayer at their nuptials.

“God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage. In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy. Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ”.

This could very well be our prayer. We were born to serve each other, were we not?

Comments? Thoughts?

This photo is a of a “Little Free Library”. Cool idea, huh? Not sure what could be more adorable, aside from a baby or a kitten, or a baby with a kitten.

The power of Story is potent and universal. We’ve all been changed by stories, and they often bring meaning and pleasure to life.

In my ebook, I talk about the 4 themes of God’s Grand Story. It’s not limited to just the Gospel Story, but rather 4 Big Ideas that root our experiences, create hope, add meaning, and reveal the nature of Creator and Redeemer God:

• Creation

• Fall

• Redemption

• Consummation

This idea of Story and the human experience is something I’ve been chewing on for a few months, so my ears perk up a bit when something ties in well.

The STORY conference in Chicago this September is one of those things. It’s especially designed for creators, communicators, and lovers of Story.

I’ll be writing an essay for the STORY Conference attendees Notebook on the topic and beautiful recent phenomenon of Little Free Libraries. Have you heard of them? Hundreds are popping up around the United States and are now in at least 20 other countries. Each small book holder (a mini library, like you see in the photo) can be registered at the website and found through its GPS coordinates. “Take a Book. Leave a Book.” many of them say. The originator of the first one puts it like this: “Libraries big or small we support them all!”

I just spoke with Todd Bol, and I’m writing the Wikipedia entry for this organization, and I’ll be sharing his perspective and the amazing story of this movement in upcoming posts.

Find out more about the Little Free Library movement, and consider constructing one of your own, joining the LFL staff (they need help desperately), or donating to Pay it Forward for a community without library resources, or a neighborhood near you.

To me, the whole this is an example of goodness and generosity within that reflects the grace and redemptive nature of the One who made us.

What a great project to do with your kids, over the summer too, to promote literacy, generosity, and a stronger community!

What are some stories that changed you?

public domain image

I wonder if much of the time, without knowing it, we operate as if the top model is correct. The one that puts us in the middle. We just ending up seeing the world and treating other people as if they revolve around us.

The second model is correct, but actually incomplete. That’s because compared to the known universe it’s hardly a spec. Our stories and even our problems are small compared to what’s really going on. Our stories and our pain matter, but they are not the center.

Enjoy your weekend. Keep things in perspective, okay?

Some poetry for reflection:

Psalms 8:3-5
“When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.”

Photo Credit: James Vaughan via Compfight

This is the 2nd consecutive month that I took a day for a prayer retreat at the same Jesuit Spiritual Retreat Center. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. This time I took a friend along. After we arrived, we went our separate ways, and met up later to talk a little about our insights, prayer time, and Scripture reading.

I’ll share one of them with you. I was struggling with some frustration and impatience. It’s mostly the ordinary stuff that involve being a mom, a wife, a writer, and the parent of a special needs boy. It’s the kind of thing that becomes distracting, and hinders my reactions, thoughts, and feelings toward my family. They might get the the spillover when I can’t handle the chaos of the day.

So, this was nagging at me to talk to God about, and I did just that. It didn’t hurt that I was sitting in the sun, and the pink trees was blossoming fully. I was ready to listen. And just as soon as I get it out I heard in my spirit, “It’s okay. You don’t have to be patient.” I didn’t saying or do anything, because it sounded absurd. Thankfully there was some followup, “You can draw from my patience. I have enough for you. You don’t need yours. You can use mine. Then, you won’t be so tired.”

I had to admit it sounded nice. It felt like freedom.

The more stink and infighting I hear chirping on the blogosphere, the more I realize the internet is like The Ring (a la Lord of the Rings). It seems few can wield it’s power all that well. Good intentions can switch to division and vitriol.

This is not a new sort of problem. 

Have you ever acted differently in your car than you do face-to-face with people? I have. I first time I drove with my husband-to-be, the man truly surprised me. Hallmark placidity turned to zeal and strident use of a motor vehicle.

It’s a problem of the flawed human heart. It’s spiritual, not behavioral.

Something about the material confines of transport too often unleashes something worse than normal in our thoughts and behavior. The internet is the very same way.

Instead of road rage, we see web rage. Comment sections on many news stories, for instance, are filled with toxic language and malicious conjecture.

But, this is not the end of the story!

As we pull back and examine ourselves, we feel the call, even the duty, to do better. What may sustain that initial motivation and produce better actions and results is community committed to a higher way.

This is where The Spiritual Guidance for Bloggers Project enters the fray. It’s a spot where we agree to virtue over high blog traffic. It’s not just a place online to thumbs up “like”, but rather a community where we encourage each other to be more personally reflective as we encounter and broach challenging issues.

click for FB page

I ask you to be a part of the solution, not the problem of blogosphere rancor. Join at the Facebook community, where resources, support, and hopefully face-to-face gatherings will build better kinds of online interactions.

I’ll just bring up one more thing, and I ask that you would help me with your prayers and suggestions. I sense the entreaty to assemble a guided prayer retreat day for soul care for the weary blogger (essentially, for Creators & Communicators). 

Maybe toward the end of August. I’m not certain what it would look like, or even if anyone would care to come, but I envision a consecrated time of rest, prayer, fraternity, silence, unplugging, renewal, and vision-casting. Will you help me figure it out?

(click for image attribution)

Click for Attribution link.

If I were to caption this photo for the project at hand, it would say,
“Sweater cubicle? or are bloggers too isolated for their own spiritual good?”

As I promised on Timothy Dalrymple‘s blog a bit ago, I am covering the topic of spiritual guidance for bloggers (as a series). Thankfully, some talent bloggers are joining us, too.

In plenty of ways technology has outpaced our spiritual reflection. The needed inner gaze at the practice (spiritual or otherwise) of blogging itself has not been encountered effectively. Bloggers have specific spiritual needs and encounter spiritual pitfalls that are under-addressed…even on blogs themselves, where you’d expect them to be handled. Well, no more.

In the next few weeks, I’ll lay this topic out and do just that, with the help of some talented bloggers as featured guest contributors.

For me, it’s an EPIC mashup of blogging experience (since 2006), and three scores of credit hours with my seminary education (M.A. in Religion, Spiritual Formation concentration) cross-fertilizing at the perfect juncture to rock this thing out. Boom. Pow!

For example:
Pitfall #1. Bloggers can be grandiose when introducing a new series.

If you are a blogger, this is especially for you. You and I both need this.

If you know someone who blogs, please send them over. Encourage him or her to read and participate in this series. If they seem reluctant, or just too busy, just say, “See, that’s exactly the whole point!”

A peek at some of the upcoming themes:

• Seductions Specific to Christian Bloggers and What to do About it
• Overcoming the Spiritual Pitfalls of Blogging
• A Writer’s Mistress is a Blog (humor)
• The Best Spiritual Disciplines for Bloggers
• Blogging and Community: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Plus, Articles from fantastic Guest Writers:

- Thom Turner

- Joy Bennet

- Ed Cyzewski

- Anita Mathias

- Jennifer Luitwieler

- Sarah Bessey

- Warwick Fuller

- Ray Hollenbach

…and others.

Enjoy PART II of my conversation with Blaine Hogan.

For fantastic BONUS VIDEO footage with Blaine on leadership, authenticity, and doing the messy work of healing click here.

One more bonus video piece will be released next week. Get access to this and all upcoming bonus videos and extras, by clicking the contact me tab on your right.

I find myself at crossroads…a lot. I’m met with choices, options, and opportunities routinely. Maybe everyone is.

Here are some good questions to ask:

1. Why have I been on the path that I’m on now?

For growth?

For new opportunities?

To “fix something”?

To avoid something?

To learn something?

…it just sorta “happened”…

What else?

(list these)

2. Where am I finding meaning and satisfaction right now?

Is this from something different than I anticipated? Which part is the best fit that I should step into now? What have been the surprises?

3. Is there anything I need to finish before I take a different path?

What might I be tempted to run from, overlook, or avoid instead of deal with? How do I properly conclude this portion of the trip? Have I collected baggage, and if so, what should stay behind? (most of it)

4. What will be some of the challenges this new path will bring?

Since the new path isn’t truly greener, at least not in every way, where will there growing points for me? (places where I’ll be refined) What resistance or obstacles will need to be dealt with? (All whilst knowing that full knowledge of this part is incomplete.)

5. Does this new path lock me into something?

If so, what? And is that beneficial? Are there alternatives once I take this path, if so what? Wiggle room? Where will I need to make sure I fortify my commitment?

Maybe applying these questions to something you’re going through will help you right now. I hope so.

And I could use your help:

When you find yourself at a crossroads, what questions do you ask?

How do you choose the next path?

CAUTION: BOOM post

How much do you give to charity?

(That’s probably not something you want to answer. Don’t worry about it, just think about it. Here’s where you are going to have to be very brave to keep reading.)

I rarely write anything of this sort.

The statistical chances are that I’m talking to you as a “stingy non tither”, and you won’t like this post. I’m okay with that. I’m writing it anyway because I’ve just endured a rather unfortunate budget meeting, and I’ve now had my fill of an American original. A brand that pairs excessive abundance and skimpy giving. And, yes, I can taste the bile in my mouth, because it makes me sick.

The stats say most people give 2-3% of their income to charity.

Not a tithe, is it? Most people (and probably you) know that a tithe is 10%…an offering is treasure (time or talent or legal tender) given above the tithe percent amount.

GIFTS?
A “gift” is what people give when the plate gets passed around. They plop a fiver in, or sometimes when they’re feeling particularly generous, they plop a twenty and a fiver on the top and think that somehow they aren’t stealing God’s money (b/c it’s all God’s money). Ya know what? That’s no gift…it’s the booby prize.

The minimum you are required to give is 10%. period.

The church could aid the least of these (think needy, hungry, naked, etc.), if people tithed. Instead they give the scraps left over once they’ve had their fun. First, they’ve eaten out, seen movies, bought (expensive) coffee, bottled water, goodies, weight loss products, pet products, books, accessories, top dollar clothes, the latest gadgets and toys, and video games, and extras, and used up money their deposable income. Whoops… FAIL. Forgetting anything, people? um yeah. Oh, yeah.

One of the 3 center pieces of the Sermon on the Mount…you know, the manifesto for citizens in the kingdom, is giving. Fasting, Giving, and Prayer are the 3 biggies. I think we’re sucking at it.

When everyone gives 10%, no one is in need. It’s a simple concept.

Instead of planning living expenses around giving the tithe–off the top, people quickly scan their wallet as the ushers come down the rows. “Gosh, I better help out a little here. Hum. I should of stopped at the ATM. Oh, well. Maybe next time.”

Instead of stepping out in faith knowing that God will provide for financial needs–more importantly every need, people wring their hands and say they have to slash the budget. The same people who don’t tithe can also be the same ones to say stupid things like, “It’s really hard to make these tough decisions.”

Yeh, it’s so hard and horrible, but apparently not as hard as giving what God requires. Let me guess, you’re also going hunting soon, right? So you can pay what ends up to be $35 per pound for deer meat. But, times are tough; you can’t really give more.  I get it. That wretched smell worse than deer carcass is your boloney. Hey, jerky, that’s bad jerky.

I should add that if hunting is a “man thing” shopping might be a “woman thing”…things like cute shoes on sale, getting a hair coloring job at $70-100, and mani-pedis come to mind. Those things that we may feel entitled to pamper ourselves with. But you can insert your own guilty pleasure.

Churches pray that God will help them, or that the pews will fill up, and help the chances of filling the plate better. Maybe a cool new program will work. Maybe a cantata.

The problem is never money. The problem resides in the poverty of the heart.

Here’s the awkward truth: No church has financial problems. Instead they have spiritual problems. They have generosity problems. They have unstemmed selfishness, and a prolific lack of faith.

Here are some official troubling facts about giving.

Giving by Class: The two groups in the United States that give the highest percentages of their income are the poor (those making less than $20,000 per year) and the rich (those making more than $100,000 per year). Middle-class Americans (those making between $40,000 and $100,000 per year) are the smallest percentage givers.⁵⁵

Few Support the Church: Only one-third to one-half of U.S. church members financially support their churches.⁵⁶

Religious Donations: More than $60 billion a year is donated to religious nonprofit organizations. The vast bulk of that sum-more that $40 billion annually-goes directly to churches, almost all of it from individuals.⁵⁷

Pets: In 2007, it is estimated that Americans will spend over $40 billion on their pets.⁵⁸

Weight Loss: It is estimated that by 2010, Americans will spend over $60 billion on weight-loss programs.⁵⁹

Giving Not a Priority: Christians worldwide had personal income totaling more than $16 trillion in 2007 but gave only 2 percent, or $370 billion, to Christian causes.⁶⁰

Read more stats here, but let me warn you, it’s not pretty. It’s shameful.

I’m writing this because Christians need to wake up. If I have to be the one who bears the brunt of the pushback because of a kill the messenger mentality, I’m willing to take it.

The index of real and deep relationship with God is found in our obedience and our love in action. This includes giving as one ought to.

That is all.

Except that here is some really useful advice from Dave Ramsey on tithing and giving.

The season before Christmas is a special one, and not because of great shopping deals. It’s not because we make gifts, or sing carols, or decorate, or bake special things, visit with family or light candles at the Christmas Eve service. It’s not even about giving more to others. Well, that’s just the tip of the Christmas iceberg.

Advent is about anticipation and hope. As Christians, we celebrate the things God has done and is doing in various seasons of the year. Creating a special time of year for focus on particular spiritual truths allows those truths to gain more weight and more meaning in our everyday lives. Advent lasts four weeks, and it’s a holiday season full of introspection, reflection, hope, and divine mysteries.

Rituals and traditions often cement social and relational bonds, ready our hearts for worship, and create the vital space and time for better adoring our Creator. Not only does memory solidify our perceptions of reality now, but it prepares us for future love, service, and devotion, to God and others.

In these four weeks of Advent I’ll feature meditations, reflections, art, and more (from me and others) interspersed among typical posts to focus our spirits on the good things of God, and the time we celebrate the most amazing gift of grace from our Living God, Jesus, the Incarnation. Our Redeemer, Savior, and King.

To participate in a richer way, view the Artists Advent Project page.

Blessings this season.

I Corinthians 12:22 In fact, the parts of the (church) body that seem weakest and least important are the most indispensable.

1 in 5 homes has a person with some kind of disability living in it. But they are not a statistic. They are a family who needs you. Sometimes I hear people say, “I’d really like to help, but I don’t know where to start.”

With so many needs, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But, one’s time and resources to help the disabled needn’t be expensive or difficult. The most important thing is showing up and allowing yourself to be used by God.

Many times those families in need want to know someone really cares, more than anything. They probably won’t be able to reach out and ask you for help, in the middle of struggling with their circumstances, but even small and simple efforts can bring them help, joy, and comfort.

Don’t start with a disability. Start with a family.

A Visual Guide to Ministry with the Disabled
I encourage you to use this Visual Guide to Ministry with the Disabled poster. I created it to help ministers and compassionate Christians aid the disabled in crucial ways. You can access it here. Please contact me if you have questions about it. This guide works through a logical progression of needs, and leads up to  interdependence, mutual care and ministry, which is what the Kingdom of God is all about.

This Visual Guide may be printed and distributed as needed, and is under a free use Creative Commons license that you see below.

Make your life be a blessing!

“Guide to Ministry with the Disabled” by Lisa Colón DeLay is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Available at docs.google.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available by contacting the creator at http://lisadelay.com.

This is my official *review of The Gospel of Matthew: God with Us
(The 2nd Book in the Resonate Series, by Matt Woodley • Foreword by Leonard Sweet • Afterword by Skye Jethani)

More than Your Usual Commentary

First, my Confession.
My confession is this: I was raised to think, you open your Bible and the Holy Spirit tells you what it means. End of story. Consequently, I rarely used a commentary until I went to seminary, where I used them routinely.

Immediately, I realized how much added insight was missing from my study of the Bible. I found that reading the thoughts of men and women who had devoted many years of concentrated examination of Scripture was like having a spiritual big brother or sister showing me the ropes. Invaluable.

The Holy Spirit
I wondered too if my view of the Holy Spirit had been shallow or incomplete. Hum…I thought…If the Holy Spirit simply plugs truth from the Bible into our brains and hearts, you’d think disagreements about Scripture would be few and far between. But, if Protestants know how to do anything, it’s splitting off from others because “the Holy Spirit” has told them other stuff from the Bible.

So, maybe the Holy Spirit’s role isn’t that simple or clear cut as we may first assume. Maybe the Holy Spirit tells us about God’s nature more than it exegetes hermeneutic in concrete terms inside our heads. Maybe the Holy Spirit is alive, well, and active in and through the brothers and sisters who write these carefully created analysis, too. Maybe it’s a bit like a joining forces kind of thing.

I sincerely wish everyone who reads the Bible would use various commentaries along the way, as tools, to better grasp the whole council of God. God has given people great scholarly and spiritual capacities to shed more light on the things in the Bible–and we are blessed to share in these gifts. It’s worth the time to get some help this way.

Not Your Typical Commentary

Now to the review:

If you aren’t used to reading bible commentaries (and you might realize that some are extremely dry and academic, using lots of Greek and Hebrew to explain things, as if you are already adept at these dead languages), then I highly recommend this new Resonate Series from Likewise, at IVP. They published one of the Gospel of John. This one on Matthew is the 2nd. More are coming.

I got a copy of IVP’s Matthew commentary from the publisher, and the more I read, the more it had an impact on me. The power of Matthew’s gospel is amazing, and this commentary takes Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection seriously. The gospel is cogent, and we find this out directly.

As you might expect, this particular book is helpful resource for pastors, teachers, spiritual leaders, and lovers of the Word who need a thorough synopsis. Yet, Matt Woodley also points out some concepts overlooked in some commentaries and typical sermons, and keeps our present cultural context in mind–which is sometimes nonexistent in typical commentaries. However, there is something about this book that will serve a different purpose, and do so quite powerfully. More on that a little later.

The author maps out the territory of Matthew’s gospel, in normal language, for one to get a lay of the land, or survey the crucial themes. You’ll find vignettes of pertinent personal stories, and the this gospel is covered in sections and main points. The style is very pastoral, like a casual but deep, personal interaction. (Don’t expect a commentary in the vein of D.A. Carson,  Craig L. Blomberg, or Craig S. Keener, and the like. Some of these commentaries, while very helpful, go verse by verse and are chiefly informative.) This commentary has a personal touch. There is narrative finesse.

The Best Kept Secret about this book…

Now I have to tell you what I wish the book would be used for most…I don’t think the publishers really had this in mind, exactly…or they probably wouldn’t have categorized it as a commentary in the first place. I think the book is a bit mis-categorized…but then again, they tell you it’s usually right up front. So, whatever.

The surprise ending is this: It would be best used in one-to-one and small group discipling, for developing spirit-filled, potential leaders, and those hungry for more of God and his Word. It’s written in a way that begs for an intimate and richer discussion, not just a proclamation from the front of the building. This book has discipleship written all over it.

My background is Spiritual Formation. I’ve focused on the whys and hows and history of spiritual growth in Christians throughout the history of the Church. I’ve spent plenty of time answering the question: “What makes Christ-like followers?”. So, I couldn’t help see this work as an excellent resource for inciting spiritual growth on a personal level. I’d like to see it used for this over being used as a tool for sermon preparation. Sorry IVP. That’s just how I see it.

If you want to take this sort of thing on in your life, get this book right away. It’s the perfect fit. Find a peer, a friend, a hungry seeker or Christian, or a mentor, and work through this book together, with the Bible in hand. It’s a down-to-earth examination that many will find helpful.

Here’s some added book info:
The Facebook Page for this series will help you keep track of this whole series of commentaries as the project unfolds, and give you an insider scoop for other stuff, including interaction with the authors and editors. Also, searching for the Twitter hashtag #resonateseries will locate other reviews and related material. I think the blog tour runs all month, if I remember correctly.

*Obligatory Disclaimer (to satisfy the FCC). I received a free copy of this book from IVP to review it on my blog, which is probably pretty darn obvious by now. An honest review (not a positive one) was the only essential. So that what ya’ll got.

RELATED: Here’s a previous post I wrote about how to study the Bible, and what people usually get wrong. I think you’ll like it.

Porch Party 2011
We have a rather long side porch. On trick-or-treat night, we fixed it up in creepy fashion. I stuffed pants and shirts and placed them on chairs to look like scarecrows. Plastic spiders, snakes, and mice were peppered near candy bowls. Votive candles and illuminated pumpkins lit the way. We used the internet to stream in 50s-60s themed music (Think Monster Mash and the rest). Out in the back, our fire pit made a toasty atmosphere on a chilly night; and coffee, warm cider, and cookies added to the warmth, on a few levels.

The most fun was meeting new neighbors, re-connecting with known neighbors, and talking with them. I realized that there isn’t another “holiday” like this one. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter usually involve travel, plenty of food prep, and a different schedule for school or work. Not Halloween. What other time do you have dozens of neighbors interacting with you on your property…at night? It’s a unique night. It’s an opportunity.

Our visitors and friends loved the decor and seemed touched by the effort. Can I say there was joy? Can I say that, for this sort of thing? Well, there was.

I had more time this year, so I sort of “caught the bug” and went all-out. I don’t think is was the Halloween spirit either. It was the Christmas one, arriving early…like department store merchandise. And in the middle of all that good cheer, I wondered, why don’t communities, groups, or Christians team up more often create a safe, fun, and loving atmosphere for these kids and families that come to visit every year? That’s a wasted opportunity, is it not?

I learned some other amazing things:

1. When you prepare to love on people, they “get it”. (Open appreciation: Everyone wore smiles, and said thank you–a lot! It was a delight to just be giving. I got more than I gave. Seriously.)

2. Being welcoming doesn’t take much money. (I was planning to buy candy for trick-or-treaters anyway. I used things I already had to decorate, and my neighbor joined in–donating decor, and cookies.) Pretty cool, huh?

3. My kids love to host and create community. In this way, they learn compassion and kindness. All on their own, they handed out treats, informed visitors of our “amenities”, interacted with the children, and helped people find their way around. How else would I have gotten to see this?

4. It’s only 2 hours. While some parties can linger, and take lot of food prep time, have logistic issues, trick-or-treat night is a specified time with a fairly easy menu. Most people make the time for it, somehow. For our neighborhood, it lasts from 6-8p.m. It’s not too hard to get some extra things ready to make it a more memorable and a special time for visitors.

5. It shines a light in the darkness. Times are tough, and there a lot of bad news and bad things happening in the world. It’s nice to give people something good. I find it totally ironic that this could or should be best served on Halloween. But why not? No day can shut out God’s Light and Love. (This also gives new meaning to the phrase “Take Back the Night”, yeah?)

See, as a kid, raised in a very conservative Christian home, and my parents believed that going out for candy in costume on October 31st was colluding with the Devil. “It’s Satan’s Day,” I used to hear. Strangely enough, for all our protesting of it, the (unintentional) focus was more on Halloween and evil, than it was for any typical trick-or-treater. Now, that’s whack. Sometimes our efforts to be “righteous” (or whatever) have the opposite intended consequences. It seems we had it all backwards. Reinvention is key.

Is Halloween a Christian Holiday?
Well, I’ll be honest and say I had no plans to hand out tracts, or influence a conversion experience to Christianity, but it was a rather blessed time.

I don’t think I’ve had the chance to touch so many lives in such a short time, as I did on Monday. And to barrow (Chariots of Fire) Eric Liddell’s phrasing, “I feel God’s pleasure.” Parents and kids alike remember who was kind and had a fun place to visit. And that, my friends, is shining a light. (The short answer is just, “Yes, it is now“.)

Have you ever done this sort of thing for Halloween night? If not, give it a try. You can make some effort to spread more love and good cheer on this night too. Will you?

Here are some photos of our night:

Advent is a season of expectation and generousity.

The Artists Advent Project is a kind of Do-It-Yourself artistic initiative where individuals or groups create and give toward a collective goal. This is not organization, or a formal program. It’s a grassroots effort to share art and creativity. Oh, and it doesn’t cost anything (other than your time and art supplies).

Today, is the launch of the Artists Advent Project.

What is an “Artist”?

In this case, if you’ve done something creative visually, or in writing, you are an artist. (So…you know, Everyone.)

What’s Advent?
Advent starts November 27th. Now is the advent before Advent. (Advent means awaiting. Waiting for who? Jesus! Little baby Jesus to be precise. Everybody likes babies, and everybody likes little baby Jesus. That’s a Rick Bobby reference. Here’s the video on that.)

As I was saying…Advent is a time, spiritually speaking, when millions of Christians throughout the world focus and prepare their hearts for the time of celebration during the Christmas season. It is set aside to be mindful, grateful, and worship God as we consider and meditate on the profundity of the Incarnation, when God sent his Son to earth, as a weak and helpless babe.

It is a hopeful time, expectant, and purposely filled with sacred spaces and meaningful acts meant to draw us into deeper intimacy with God, and others. That’s what the Artists Advent Project is all about.

What’s the “Project”?:
The Project is many working toward one goal.
Today, is the first day promoting the Artists Advent Project, so when the Season of Advent is here, on November 27, you’ll have something creative or artistic to contribute, or you’ll have time to select from things you already have. (Again, the specifics are here.)

On this Launch Day, I’d like to point out 2 things:

First, notice there is a new page for AAP featured at this blog. It’s a tab at the top of this page. Do you see it?  Or click Here. That will work too. The specifics are there for anyone to read. If you know an artist, or are one, get in this loop.

Second, notice the snazzy Artists Advent Project Button on the Top Right. For bloggers, this button is for you. You can grab the code and paste it into an “arbitrary html text” widget (wordpress users) to support this seasonal giving effort. This button shows that you support the efforts of artists and creative people worldwide who will share some of their work freely this season, without regard to personal benefit, or monetary gain.

Thanks for your help, my friends, and for your creativity and generosity.

(Contact me with any questions, comments, or ideas on how we can spread the word.)

-Lisa 

Doing Church

Did you know that Church and Relationship are synonyms?

This Thursday was the second week in a row that we had a friend come to play with Nathan. Michael is a year ahead of Nathan at his school. Michael, too, has autism and its noticeable in different and similar ways (more on that some other time). He’s an only child, and making friends is tough. It’s not natural for him, but the opportunities are few as well. Together, we’re changing that.

Having him and his mom here felt like ‘doing church’ in the most wonderful of ways. Their visit warmed my heart. “Church,” in this case, means that it’s the first time in much too long where I could tell that I, no we, were living life together. We were enjoying a deeper connection and community in a natural way. In ways we all hope for when we go to church. It feels like coming home with supper waiting for you. It consists of acceptance, warts, and joys, and all. The common was somehow sacred this Thursday.

My hope it that Michael always knows he’s fully accepted and valued here. He is. I’ve made a kind of internal vow for our home to be a safe and loving place for him to be himself. He’s picked up on that. If his mom’s work schedule allows they’ll be over again this Thursday. He says, “We have a meeting.”

I’ll try to put up some video soon, because the way these two boys interact is so hilarious and sweet, and I know you’ll love it.

Make Your Home “church”
Here are some tips, if you’d like to make your home a welcoming environment for a child with autism, so a visit is something to look forward to and enjoy. (Share this information with your children.)

• Structure. Don’t expect that a child visiting will just play. Or do well if there are toys and game around. For kids, with autism anyway, most must learn simple social skills and interactions and adapt through practice. It’s really awkward at first for them. But, it gets figured out through process. You might want to create something, cook something, or play a short game, all together. Doing something with a beginning, middle, and end will add sense to the visit for them. A free play or open-ended style of interactions won’t lend to a high quality visit.

• Time limit. When Michael visits, he likes to stay for 60-75 minutes. He tells us when he wants to go. This is great, but not all kids will know when enough is enough. This can be hard on everyone involved. Plan the get-together with a defined time frame–from the outset. I suggest 45 mites to start (this depends on the child. 30 minutes for a young child might be better). Later you can move to up to 90 minutes. But play for over 2 hours, or trying for an open ended meet up can be counter-productive. A defined time slot things end on a high note, and it’s fairly easy to prepare for the visit.

• Provide goodies. Ahead of time, ask if there are food preferences or allergy issues, and then make sure to offer a snack and beverage. Food is powerful. Use it wisely.

• Ask Questions. Make an effort to interact personally a few times. Ask a “yes” or “no” question, or an “either/or” question, and indicate your interest and acceptance right away, and along the way. Don’t expect anything, just do it. If it falls flat, try again in a little bit. Be Patient. Children are more like gardens than firecrackers. (So cultivate, rather than expect a dazzling display from a brief “matching”.)

• Issues of Eye Contact and Touch We take these social things for granted and generally know what is acceptable with others, and when and where eye contact and touch it is acceptable. Many disabled children do not. They may kiss you all of a sudden, or never even glance at you. Don’t expect them to make eye contact, and don’t try to touch them unless it seems very obvious that they wouldn’t mind. (Realize that for some kids, it feels painful to be touched. Yes, painful. Same goes for eye contact.) That being said, once I’ve built trust, I find kids really appreciate and respond well to a hand on the shoulder or back, or light pressure/touch on the arm, and they warm up to me very quickly. Since sometimes others are afraid to touch them (because they’ve seen big reactions), or because they don’t have friends they interact with closely, they are sort of touch-starved. Acceptable and respectful touch will establish trust. It’s surprising.

• Notice Stuff. Maybe mention that they look good in red, they are wearing cool shoes, or that they’re getting big and strong. See them. Then, say something to let them know. This shows them that they matter to you. Make concrete comments (facts) to them, about them. It gives them a sense of personhood, or place…at the table, if you will.

• Talk to the parents. This might seem obvious, but I’m always surprised at how much the parents of disabled children feel relieved to interact and relax with conversation and company. Encourage this. They don’t often get to “feel human” because of all the stress that goes along with caring for their child. (They’re “going” or “on” all the time. It’s exhausting.)

• Follow Up. Plan ahead for the next time, soon. Set up something that day, or within a week, to have another time together. If we don’t do this, it falls off our radar. Use a pen and mark the calendar. Consistency is key.

Are you “doing church” with anyone? Why or why not?

Verse of Reflection: 

^{Matthew 25:44-45} “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

Questions, comments, suggestions?