Lisa Colón DeLay

Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:

1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.

2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.

(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)

I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.

Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.

A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.

Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.

So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.

• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.

• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.

• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.

• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.

• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for others things.

# # #

When was the last time you got away?

 If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.

I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.

I had the pleasure of hearing noted author and speaker Dr Amy Sherman today at work (Evangelical Seminary).

She spoke about the concept of the righteous…the Tsaddiqim <SAD-da-Keem> from Hebrew scripture.

These are people who prosper and bring others joy, peace, beauty, safety, intimacy with God, justice, economic flourishing, and more. “The city rejoices” because of them.

She told of one church in Kansas City that started off with good teaching and preaching about how the Kingdom of God looks when it’s lived out. Then small groups based on VOCATION began. When these groups got together they asked, “How can what we are good at and what we do for a living help others?”

What they came up with was amazing indeed. It was truly…

Vocational Stewardship for the Common Good!

Very inspiring! It could change everything you do in church, or ministry, and it makes a huge difference in communities.

So…What if small groups in your church were based on Vocational bonds and doing the common good? What would you dream up? How would you reach out and make a difference?

Her book highlights cases where vocation has brought great renewal and joy.

I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.

Gleanings

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.

• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.

• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.

• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.

Communication and Transactions

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.

• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.

The biggest reason people divorce? 

• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)

The most important things we can teach our children?

• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)

One aspect of the pre-Easter season (Lent) is confession…

Well, not really. The majority of Evangelicals avoid or ignore the command to confess and even the concept of confession. One great excuse is that we don’t have to be like Catholics who have to answer to a priest for our sins and then do penance. We don’t need a mediator between us and God. How empowering!

But, ignoring or avoiding confession also gives us a chance to hide in our sin and deceive ourselves and others…hum…not so empowering! That’s like putting our soul in jail.

True and thorough Healing and transformation come in and from the context of community.

Jame 5:16
International Standard Version (©2012)
Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

But –Why would confessing heal us?

There is a kind of cleansing that happens in confession. That’s why it’s not optional. It’s not just a purge from our end either.

Revealing ourselves to others has transformative power. Thousands of 12 Step followers will tell you countless tales of life-altering transformation that came through this route.

Simply put–God purposefully makes healing real and possible when authenticity happens with others. It will not happen on our own. This is by design because it makes us healthier to be connected in such a way.

There are no AA groups with 1 member because that would ensure failure. Healing works the same way for all us in that regard. Isolation keeps us stuck and unwell. Blind.

The Holy Spirit uses our honesty and uses our transparency and does his good work. Transformation! A confession is not just an apology (“Hey, sorry I made you feel that way.”) but rather it’s a careful decision to be authentic, to expose one’s self to the light of truth, to change, and to take a new course. So it is blessed.

This is the power and efficacy of prayer and repentance.

 

In the next post I’ll cover who we should or could confess to…

Do you think it matters who we confess to? (leave me a comment or voicemail)

Do you confess your sins and shortcomings regularly? (leave me a comment or voicemail. Yes or no and why or why not.)

 It’s easy to forget to visit this blog, because you’re busy. I know how that is. I update with new content about 3 times per week. You can get the new stuff sent to you AND you can use my content as well. So, click in the side bar for new content delivery and please check out the Permission Policy page for the rules for fair usage. Thanks for spending some time here today. :)

 

LASTLY- Is there anything you should confess? You are invited to do that here, or simply admit to confessing to some other human here (if you want to confess in another venue).

photo image found here:

I’m a bit more than half way through teaching a small group of adult learners about Evil, God’s Justice, Love, Mercy, Reconciliation, and Kingdom of God living with great guidance of a slew of videos from Tom Wright.

When we decry Evil we mustn’t stop there for we are the remedy for it.

God’s Kingdom is made manifest through us. We exact justice by helping those who are suffering rather than through the power games a godless world endorses and implements.

It is not about self-interest, but self-sacrifice.

Our fuel is the knowing that we are indeed image bearers and creations of God made from the outpouring and overflowing of his great love. We are God’s Beloved and we offer that gift to the world, that they too, each one is Beloved as well. We especially find the ones that are overlooked or oppressed or unhealed.

We do more than associate with these outcasts, the ones that others find embarrassing or scandalous, we suffer with them and enter their pain.

Sometimes simple seeing and hearing someone fully and taking them into our loving kindness will well convey that they are God’s Beloved because we’ve treated them with such honor. An honor that is due them because they are God’s children.

I made up this slide and it may be a good poster too, so I offer it up to you. (click the image) Pin it if you’d like.

And now a question for you.

What particular group of misfits holds a soft spot in your heart? Send me a voicemail or leave a message.

I’ve donated my birthday month for @charitywater.

In my case, this means I’m donating $1 for every year I’ve been alive, and I’m asking you to help me celebrate my birthday by helping others whose lives are in danger in Tigray a region of Ethiopia.

That’s right….This year, I don’t want stuff. I don’t care about getting cute cards either or gift certificates.

It would bless me so much to know that you help me to help others.
So, please contribute any amount in my honor, and yours! Let’s be a blessing.

Click the photo for more details about the project!

Or go here –> 2013bday to learn more.

Would you like to give up your birthday too? Click here.

( http://bit.ly/yQp39t )

It’s always an honor to hear someone really share their pain. Not wallow, mind you. Not over-exposing their fiery emotions and gory  details. Something real and raw from a tender and seldom seen place.

The heartfelt wounds that still hurt from some kind of past or unnoticed pain. The cries of the heart. The reaching out to be heard, and then the comfort realized.

It always strikes me that at the very time when someone is most revealed and open they are at the same time supremely vulnerable and yet exquisitely lovable.

Truly human. It’s not just an honor because it is so rare …(it happens usually through time and trust and other options are unfavorable)…it’s an honor because there is within that moment a genuine glimpse of glory.

“The glory of God revealed is the human most fully alive.” -Irenaeus of Lyons

We have a rebirth–a fully alive moment–in those sort of times: Vulnerability through the struggles and between destinations. There the messy becomes beautiful. Redeemed.

Even though it feels really risky, the chance to be truly seen and heard in our vulnerability engenders compassion because what is common between us transcends the boundaries that keep us isolated.

—

More soon! Get fresh content sent to your email. click the new content link on the right sidebar.

In the start of a new year…sometimes we cast a vision for the next 12 months.

Sometimes it’s through a New Year’s resolution or a multipage strategic proposal.

Here are 5 things to keep in mind as you craft a healthy vision for the months to come.

• Don’t decide a vision in a relational vacuum. 
(Make use of community to account for the blind spots or gaps you’ll have. Trust me you have them.)

• Don’t forget to have “check-ups”
(Every 2-3 months re-energize the vision cast by reiterating the vision, for some extra oomph. Gosh it’s fun to type “oomph”!

• Adjust the vision when needed.
(Since vision-casting is future oriented, it’s a mistake to act if it’s written in stone. During the check-ups see what needs to be adjusted, added, or put aside.)

• Focus on the strengths of your team.
(Whether it’s a personal or team vision-casting for the year, play to your strengthens.)

• The vision trifacta! Set immediate, intermediate, and longer-range goals.
(Part of making progress is sensing movement. Accomplishing some short term goals right away boosts morale. It’s a psychological edge.)

This post is part of a synchro blog. To access other thoughts on vision-casting, or to add your own to the mix go HERE.

Here we are again talking about discernment! (weekly January and February)

Getting better at discernment helps us understand God, his ways, and his plans with greater proficiency. A lot of time (most of us) are trying to find our way. Learning some time-tested exercises that foster better discernment can bring more than just peace of mind, but a richer walk of faith.

The presence and movements of God are certainly a grace…pure gift. But, we can also prepare ourselves to do much better with what he graces us with. Initial recognition for starters! We start to awaken.

When practicing the ways of discernment we learn to “read God’s face” as it were. Just like you might know precisely what your friend or spouse is feeling in the 2 seconds time he or she enters your presence, we can learn to distinguish the nuances of God’s presence through familiarity and good listening.

So what of these attacks that happen to us from time to time? The things that discourage us whether from within or without…what do we make of them, and how can they derail us?

Desolations, as we spoke of before, are interior stirrings that are not sourced in God. They may derail us because they are intended to draw us away from God. Yet, they can be used to help us because God will use what he wants to for his aims…even if the original aims from our opposition may have been intended otherwise. We might call these things Weeds that grow among the good things…the Wheat. Weeds may start out looking like nutritious wheat, but as they develop we can note the differences.

We may lose heart that we can’t rid the Weeds all from our lives…and maybe, strange as it seems, some weeds are supposed to stay in place until the harvest. In truth, the Weeds teach us things we could not know otherwise. Here are some:

• Weeds may test our mettle.
• Weeds may awaken us to negligence or unnoticed and crucial interior things that need our attention.
• Weeds may draw a contrast between what is of God and what is not by clarifying the distinction.
• Weeds may aid in our dependence on God, like Paul speaks about in 2 Corinthians 12…the thorn and strength in weakness passage.

Have any weeds of life ever helped you?

(My sources for many of these ideas comes in part from a book my spiritual director lent to me (see below). “Weeds in the Wheat: Discernment: Where Prayer & Action Meet” by Thomas H Green S.J. To be sure this book has a decidedly Catholic perspective (if you can handle that), and sheds light on this view of discerning God’s ways through the Ignatian vantage point.)

Click to get new content by Email…the Series continues!

Want to read the other Discernment installments?

• Discernment Series: Defining “Consolation” and “Desolation” 

• Discernment Series (first post)

Some quick Housekeeping:
This year I won’t be posting 3-4 times per week, most of the time.

Since February 2009 I written 815 posts. I’ve put in the time. (Before that I had a Blogger blog (several actually), and a before that I had a Xanga blog (remember them?), and before that in 2004 or so, I sent weekly email articles to about 200 people, when word “blog” hadn’t made it to the vernacular. It adds up to thousands of articles.)

Plus, I’m at a season where my posts should be fewer. All this makes email delivery or a RSS feed situation optimal, because when I do post, I’ll have landed on some cool things I simply must write about. So, fill out the Feedburner button fields in the right column, and never miss a beat.

3 Rough Patches on the Way to Success (courtesy of Henri Nouwen)

As promised back in November, I’m sharing some of the gleanings from my required course work reading. The first book is a short, sweet work chock-a-blocked with wisdom by the beloved Henri Nouwen.

In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (Click title for book info. Bonus: It costs just a few bucks. ) In this book Nouwen makes short work tackling common 3 pitfalls we routinely encounter.

The title is a misappropriation because his advice is so helpful for anyone “on a quest” or trying to make their way. Be it an artist, blogger, writer, or just about anyone following a dream will encounter the very same issues Nouwen covers as he targets “leaders”.

He uses his own life and success in academics and leadership as the impetus and a background of practical knowledge and captures crucial insights on the things that most often beset us.

Nouwen was a revered scholar and professor at Yale, Harvard and other impressive-sounding places. Though everyone was telling Nouwen he was doing well, he noticed something deep down. Something just wasn’t right. Then, he realized his success was actually putting his own soul in danger.

“I was living in a very dark place and the term “burnout” was a convenient psychological translation for a spiritual death.”

I’ve been there! Have you?

He came to a point of spiritual dryness and removed himself from the life he knew as a talented academic and choose instead to live with, care for, and minister to the severely mentally disabled. He covers this quite briefly in the book. (In other books he mentions just how nuts people thought he was for the decision.)

What came from that choice is arguably his most memorable and lasting work. A host of profound and transformative pieces. To many some are bona fide Christian Devotional Classics.
To handle the topic of Christian Leadership (which I’ve mentioned may be cast more widely for many of us as success), Nouwen describes the particulars of Jesus as he was tempted in the desert. The lures and trappings of leadership (read: success) typical in this world are cast in sharp relief with the divine call of Christlikeness in one’s life.

It is a striking model for Christians to follow. Jesus was tempted to abandon his Kingdom mission in favor of acquiescing to the temptations offered up by Satan who promised success in the course and manner of this world.

Nouwen also riffs off intimate conversations Jesus has with Peter. They involve calling, leadership, vocation, and Jesus-style success. The heart of these exchanges give us insights to our own path to success and finding our purpose or way in the world.

The three temptations are labeled by Nouwen as the lures to be relevant (necessary, a cure for the world), spectacular (popular, skilled, apt), and powerful (influential or in charge).

Have you ever wanted those things as you reach for your dreams?  (Who hasn’t, right?)
Jesus’ response and subsequent choices are worth noting. Not only that, they bring solace for the journey.

The temptations experienced by Christ are shown as the archetype for the human experience in the realm of success (and any sort of leadership). The three kernels of wisdom include–

1. being prayerful instead of craving relevance

2. serving rather than desiring popularity found through skills and competencies

3. being led rather than focusing on power (leading/influencing)

It’s all very counter-cultural.

Nouwen lays out concise and clear arguments for these three and also includes which spiritual disciplines make the Kingdom way plausible (think of discipline here as “training” or “taking your vitamins”).

In a time were celebrity and influence (and even infamy) is the jackpot, just as much in Christian spheres as in secular ones, Nouwen speaks with a fresh and prophetic voice of wisdom that brings us to a path of peace.

In our strivings it’s easy to miss the presence of God, and even the mission of the Kingdom. It’s a quick trip to succumbing to temptations common to humans and not being people of Christlikeness. This book soothes the soul.

# # #

If you’re interested in delving further into spiritual formation, creativity, and learning for a full year, the private online community/learning group called The Cadre is forming right now. (100% free, and I’m not selling anything.) It starts February (2013), and there are about 8 spots open. Click “The Cadre” at the top of the page to learn more, or contact me.

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(photo source: http://evolvenetwork.com.au/wordpress/index.php/5-steps-to-bring-success-into-your-life/)

 “When people deny the humanity of others, they become evil themselves.”  -N.T. Wright

I’m preparing to do a quarter of a year (January-March) teaching with the themes and the companion videos of Tom Wright’s book Evil and the Justice of God.

We’ll be tackling some tough territory:

• Why is there so much Evil in the world? (More than ever?)

• Why does God let it happen and what, if anything, is God doing really about it? (What’s going on?)

• How does the Bible approach the subject? (Whoa. Lots of common misunderstandings here!)

• How does Justice work? (Revenge, Justice, Mercy, we’ll be sorting that out.)

• What is our role or best response with regards to Evil? (Do we stand against it, roll over, avoid it, bear it? The answers may surprise you.)

If you can’t make the classes Sundays 9:30-10:15 a.m. at Bethesda, I’ll be highlighting items here as I work on it and as I teach.

Here’s an intro video trailer. The book is remarkable. I highly recommend it.

I just loved this video (from Christine Sine) and I hope it can serve you too as a tool for a renewed and refreshed awareness of God’s holy presence. Give yourself 5 full minutes to listen, enjoy, and worship.

Have a Blessed Advent Season.

I got a bunch of free and discounted books Monday (Cyber Monday). Oh, the rapture of that!

About 900 people took advantage of my free kindle downloads, too. Cool. So, so cool.

I’ve wondered if people will pay-it-forward, and give because they were given to. Will any of them write a review as a way to say “thank you”? I didn’t give things for free to get something…so I not going to sweat it. But, that sure would be nice.

Much more importantly, I’ve been thinking….Will I be more generous because I was given to?
Yes, I’ll try to be. I’ll purpose to do that. Plus….

Today, is Giving Tuesday. Yes, it’s a real thing.

Non profits, schools, and charities–many hundreds of them–are banding together to say “please remember us” on this Tuesday 11/27/12. The truth is that a lot of these organizations are all but forgotten as we make our purchases, usually with retailers. The economy has crippled some of them. Places that do much good in our world and not for the purpose of making money shouldn’t be overlooked, right?

Please, consider a donation of any size today to one of the many worthy places hoping you’ll remember them.

Find out more here: #GivingTuesday
givingtuesday.org/

My alma mater is getting my support in this. To help them click here.

YEP. Good news about free stuff!

Right after we feast like mad and express our gratitude and thankfulness we charge out to buy and shop! I’ve always thought this was the strangest thing…But, the sales do seem unbeatable, right?

Confession: I can’t handle the bustle. I grow weary so fast from shopping, let alone doing it amid crowds and while fighting chock-a-block traffic. What about you?

Perhaps Cyber Monday is a different kind of bustle?…nevertheless….

I have some things for you. It won’t cost anything. And you don’t have to get “malled” or drive anywhere.

Click  ”Kindle Bookshelf”. (4 FREE books)

On Monday 11/26/2012 all four of my digital (Kindle) books are free for the taking. ONE Day only. (One of the four has not been offered for free until now, and it won’t happen again anytime soon.)

Here’s a secret! If you DON’T have a kindle or a kindle app, you can still click to buy, and Amazon houses them for you, for whenever you want them, on which ever device you choose. So, if you’re getting a kindle for Christmas, click to get them now, and enjoy them later.

I do hope you enjoy them.

If you would please leave an Amazon review, I would be most grateful! I have lots of people reading, but hardly anyone leaving reviews yet. So, I need your help!

Season’s Blessings!

-Lisa

P.S. Spread this good news with a Tweet or two, please?

(If you miss your chance, don’t fret. Each is only $3. Way less than a latte at Starbucks. Amazon lets you read sample pages. Try each one and see what you like!)

I’m getting so much out of this little book!

(I really recommend getting a copy. I saw one on Amazon for $1.50 (used). What a bargain!)

Henri Nouwen gathered his thoughts and pennend notes for his personal use during a difficult 6 months of reflection and healing. They were meant as private notes, but after 8 years a few friends encouraged him to have them organized and published sensing other soul searchers would be encouraged by them. His pain is often palpable and humble and his words are like food for kindred spirits. I’m grateful he was so brave.

page 59

Love Deeply
Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that break the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide no to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.

Those you have deeply love become part of you. The longer you live, there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become part of your inner community. The wider your inner community becomes, the more easily you will recognize your own brothers and sisters in the strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognize those who live around you. The wider the community of your heart, the wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

Just asking the question, “What will be my legacy?” is really helpful. Not because is farsighted, but because it involves evaluating the small decisions at hand. Each one piles up what will be our legacy, whether personal or professional…

It seems too that all we can do won’t necessarily overshadow who we were as we did it.

It’s a question I challenge myself with to keep perspective, and one I’m afraid to encounter if I’ve been failing in my relationships. That’s all the more reason to get used to the question and ask it often. :)

I hope all the little good things will add up to a life well lived and well spent. But most importantly I hope they reflect Goodness and Grace.

 What do you think about it?

Today’s post was inspired by the Deeper Leader blog. If you’d like to share your answer, or read what others are saying, join in.

UPDATES!

• Storm SANDY is gone. Our cable and internet power is gone too (I’m at a McDonalds today writing this).

• I’m featured on the (Moody Bible Radio’s) Midday Connection blog. I hope you can read it!  ARTICLE

• Soon I’ll be selling my digital book on AMAZON.
Soul Care VOL1-5 (Themes covered in the digital book will soon be featured and summarized at RELEVANT magazine online. WIN! I’ll post the link once I get it.)

• Do you want to write about something similar to the themes you see here? I have two guest post spots up for grabs in November. Do you want to contribute? Drop me a line, and let me know. :)

Thank you ALL so very much for your prayers for us during this monster storm. Please consider donating to the RED CROSS to help the many victims hurt by Sandy. If you can donate blood, they need it very badly. The storm disrupted 100 blood donation drives.

For those of you who’ve been reading for a while, I’ll update you on the last few months.

• I’ve been blogging, with a focus on helping those who lead, create, and communicate.

• I became a Communications Consultant which then lead to a Director of Communications position.

• I enrolled in a graduate Leadership program which starts in January (yes, Masters Degree # 2. I’m a 100% Certified NERD!)

So, what does the last part mean for this blog?

As some of you know grad school is very demanding. Well, I’ll rephrase that: My graduate school is REALLY demanding. I got my first Masters Degree two years ago and I’ve never worked harder in my life. I read about 2,700-3,000 pages of text per course. At 3 credits a pop I logged on 57 credits to finish. My eye glass prescription showed it too! But, I love to learn (informally and formally) and I’m at it again!

I considered a 1-2 year blog writing hiatus. Trust me. I really did. 

However, I got to thinking, “Can I merge the blog and my education somehow, and maybe bring along some readers and friends for the ride? Probably.” We could all learn a lot and have some fun this way, I think. I’ll be developing a  CADRE to test out ideas and put some learning into practice with a group of committed online cohort. I hope we’ll even get to have a vacation retreat together…but more on that later!

I’ll be starting my reading early, and when classes run for 9 weeks, they will be primarily conducted online. About every 9 weeks I’ll be on-campus for a weekend learning residency. I’ll be excited to share what I’m learning.

So, as soon as I get my books, I’ll be posting on those topics and my thoughts as I work through them, and asking you to come along with me as much as you possibly can.

If you’d like to upgrade this experience (for both of us), buy/download or borrow some of the books on the list (below) for yourself and we’ll do this together.
The first book I’ll be reading is by Henri Nouwen,
In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (click title for book link)

We’ll start there soon.

(my) Required Course Materials for SF665:

1. Barton, Ruth Haley. Sacred Rhythms: Arranging our Lives for Spiritual Transformation. Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 2006. ISBN: 978-0830833337
2. Benner, David G. Soulful Spirituality: Becoming Fully Alive and Deeply Human. Grand Rapids: Brazos, 2011. ISBN: 978-1587432972
3. Calhoun, Adele Ahlberg, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2005. ISBN: 978-0830833306
4. Hagberg, Janet and Robert Guelich. The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith. 2^nd ed. Salem, WI: Sheffield Publishing, 2005. ISBN: 978-1879215498
5. May, Gerald. The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth. San Francisco: HarperOne, 2005. ISBN: 978-0060750558
6. Nouwen, Henri. The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom. Reprint ed. (New York: Image Books, 1999). ISBN: 978-0385483483
7. Rollheiser, Ronald. The Shattered Lantern: Discovering a Felt Presence of God. New York: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2005. ISBN: 978-0824522759

Below is the link to syllabus for the first class.
A second class runs at the same time for a one year period.
To read/download them click the class (link) and scroll to the bottom of the page. Then, click download.

first class
SF665 Christian Devotional Classics
Download (411 KB)

year-long class
SF549 Spiritual Formation and Leadership I
Download (366 KB)

Required Course Materials SF549

Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Life Together. San Francisco: HarperOne. ISBN 978-0060608521.

(Other editions are acceptable).

Holder, Arthur, ed. Christian Spirituality: The Classics. London: Routledge, 2010. ISBN 978

0415776028

Nouwen, Henri. In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership

Longman and Todd, 1989. ISBN 978-0232518290

Sheldrake, Philip. A Brief History of Spirituality. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishers, 2007.

ISBN 978-1405117715.

Today as a regular contributor at the Deeper Leader Blog, I’m linking in with them, and tackling the topic of Mentoring today.

I’ve always seen the value in having the aid of someone a bit further down the road from me.

As a kid, camp counselors provided this a bit. In undergraduate school, my academic advisor turned out to be a helpful voice in my life, and in my profession, but not someone who had a heart for God. At church, I had prayer partners, and in graduate school a few ladies had mentoring qualities I really appreciated. None of them though really nailed what I was looking for. It took over ten years to pair up with a trained spiritual guide that made sense for me.

It happened in a most unexpected way. I went outside of my Christian tradition (Evangelical) and attended a very enriching day of personal guided prayer at a Jesuit Spiritual Center during the season of Lent. There I heard Sister Maria and I thought, “This woman is like a female Gandalf. I need her!”

But she was booked in that area and could take me on. :(

I continued speaking with her and asking for her help. Maybe she had a clone I could work with, I suggested.

But she didn’t have a clone and thought that was a strange idea to be cloned in the first place.

She did send me to a lovely, wise, grandmotherly woman who became my formal spiritual director, and I continue to meet with her each month.

Like a thought it would be, the benefit of a mentor is invaluable.
A spiritual guide, companion, advocate and advisor with maturity has incalculable worth in our lives. It’s no wonder that so many leaders fail, or ministers fall off into affairs, pornography or other addictions so readily. They don’t make guidance a priority. The accountability and advocacy that a spiritual guide brings doesn’t remove the bumpy pathces, but it certainly makes them more bearable!

It took me over 10 years to find one, but it was worth it.

For those who seek a mentor I have some advice:

• KEEP LOOKING! (push discouragement aside!)
• Ask around. A lot.
• Find a spiritual center that trains spiritual companions
(Evangelicals do not seem to have this in ANY abundance, but Catholics are really into it.)
• Make the first move, (don’t wait to be asked by a mentor, approach him or her)
• A directory of spiritual companions may help find you someone, but if you don’t find a good fit on the first try, keep looking.

Don’t know where to start? Here’s a large directory (international, with various spiritual traditions included)
at Spiritual Directors International.

What about you? Have you ever had a mentor or spiritual guide? If not, what do you hope for in a mentor?
Share your story at the Deeper Leader Blog, or read what other have to say.

Today, I’m elucidating the anatomy of Worry in contrast with Meditation using this handy dandy visual I made.

Notice the differences.

Worry and Meditation have commonalities.

• Both activities involve circling/cycling, repeated thoughts, but how they circle is very different and give us different outcomes.

(monotheistic) Meditation centers on the good supreme God, and often the One described in the Bible. The love and presence of God energizes the one meditating. Thoughts and cares are kept in close contact with God, not one’s self or self-interests. Prayer, worship, and centering are interrelated with meditation.

In Worry (in Christians or any one) thoughts are repetitive and  ingrown, not centered on apart from self and move toward collapse, snuffing out our energy and health. Worry thoughts stay with the self, and do not move outward or around a stabilizing idea or deity. This causes degeneration into a Worry Spiral that undercuts growth, health, and well-being. Other problems may arise like illness, anxiety disorders, depression, paranoia, and much more.

In part 3, I’ll unpack how to move from Worry, which is negative, to Meditation which is peace and life-giving.

Did you read the previous Post? Please read Part 1 of this series where I discuss some common misunderstanding of Worry.

Do you think I got it right? What does Worry and Meditation look like for you?
Please, let me know.

Ever think you’re leading a visionary charge forward only to look back and find a bewildered crowd who isn’t follow you?

I have, and it ain’t pretty. But, I learned a few things!

I’m contributing to this week’s new Deeper Leader Blog topic

“Whoops!” How Have You Grown From Your Mistakes in Leadership?

The Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog sponsored by Evangelical Seminary is running October 7-12th. (A new topic will be offered up for contributions once or twice per month. It’s a great place to read fresh ideas, get inspiration, learn some things, or join in anytime.)

Remember, you too are invited and encouraged to add your voice to this dialogue by commenting here, or over there, or linking up your related article if you get a chance to write one. Go to this page for more details to get started.

You’ve probably learned some things through mistakes, please share your wisdom, I’d love to learn from you.

My “Whoops!” moment happened just when I thought I had some momentum.

(I’m limiting myself to just one, but I have hundreds of thousands to choose from.)

I was leading a class of adults on the topic of spiritual formation (discipleship). I was excited and shared my knowledge about Christian historical practices of prayer and meditation and silence and sabbath and a bunch of other things. When it came time for the practical part where we engaged in one of the practiced introduced, I saw something I wasn’t prepared for: CONFUSION. A wide-eyed look of paralysis. This wasn’t going to work!

I had gone too fast and charged ahead. While my class was interested in growing spiritually most of the concepts I was teaching were unfamiliar to them. Too unfamiliar. My graduate level education on the topic had sort of given me a blind spot I wasn’t taking into account. I had too quickly and assumed we were on the same page, but we weren’t. In some ways we were miles apart.

I had to slow down.

My exuberance had clouded my perceptions too. I thought that a change or some experimentation with a new prayer form would be excited not overwhelming. I realized that I was way ahead of my group, leading a charge for spiritual growth and revitalization but leaving my followers in my dust.

I was failing to walk alongside–as long as needed–until everyone was familiar with the new ground and ready to venture out.

Sometimes we forget about our potential blind spots. Mine was my over-familiarity with my niche. FAIL!

Sometimes we’ve seen it from our view for so long that we lose touch and thereby fail to lead effectively.

When others don’t seem ready or willing to follow you, it might not be a problem with your vision. It could be that those you want to lead aren’t at the same place that you are just yet. Don’t be discouraged, like I have been.

Go back to the dust cloud you left behind…and if you can’t see your followers, listen for some coughing! Then, regroup, and make a much slower start. Probably far slower than you feel is necessary. That was my lesson.

The results may vary, but you may find that with a slower pace, fewer learning points, and plenty of grace for the journey that many will continue with you. Leaders really aren’t leaders until and unless they have followers, right?

Do you remember a time when you left followers in your dust? How did it resolve?

Here’s a little reminder that everyone gets tired.

Everyone gets unbalanced.

Maybe you’ll be touched deeply and start crying when you hear a rapper slinging rhymes, which is really weird, but I did that.

Maybe you’ll just feel a heaviness in your heart that you can’t pinpoint. A slow burning ache, like the weight of the broken world is pushing in and perched on your sternum.

Maybe you’ll see relationships so broken and confusing and full of turmoil that you’ll start to disconnect.

Maybe you’ll snap at your kids, or get angry at a stranger whose story you can’t possibily know.

And grace will leak away from you and your ideals will be shelved, and you’ll wonder if you’re really a person who still believes in goodness anymore.

Here’s a word for you…and for me….

It hurts to be alive.

There are mysteries we want to know but can’t unravel.

You. Will. Get. Tired.

In this sorrow we are not alone, because we are the same.

(If you’d like to share your worry today or your burden, please do. In the comment section or using the contact me tab. I’ll pray for you, and maybe you can pray for me.)

Probably the first thing people think of with “Depth” in Leadership is experience and know-how. Good stuff….but I think there’s an undervalued “Special Sauce” to Leadership …more on that in a minute.

Here’s the important and obligatory mention of the impetus for this post:

I’m contributing to this week’s new Deeper Leader Blog topic “How Do We Define ‘Depth’ in Leadership?”

The Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog sponsored by Evangelical Seminary is running September 24-28th. (A new topic will be offered up for contributions once or twice per month. It’s a great place to read fresh ideas, get inspiration, learn some things, or join in anytime.)

Remember, you are invited and encouraged to add your voice to this dialogue too by commenting here, or over there, or linking up your related article if you write one. Go here for more details to get started. 

The Special Sauce

I’m not sure why I said it like that. I guess I’ve landed on something: The loudest leaders aren’t the best at it. Not usually.

Sure, the leaders who get the gigs and have the awesome bio paragraphs, big numbers and impressive sounding credentials seem the most successful. But, I’ve been most transformed and most influenced by the “nobodies”. The ones with quiet and stable wisdom.

I have a rather introverted spiritual director, for instance. She’s grandmotherly and loving. Though she’s formally trained and experienced she won’t be featured at the upcoming Catalyst conference, trust me. She won’t be recognized by “big shots”, nearly all of whom are men, by the way. Perhaps she doesn’t fit their paradigm for leadership experts.

It’s her consistency, character, and depth of understanding that make her easy to follow. I trust her. I listen to her wise words. I soak in her tidings.

ALPHAS

In a world of big burger alpha leaders we can forget about the Special Sauce. The stuff that makes ordinary people worth trusting and following. It comes from battle-tried life experience, courage, and the willingness to care, help, and listen.

It’s funny too because popularity in leadership seems arbitrary. Dave Ramsey, for an example, is all about Leadership (as well as finance). He even coined a term for his leadership training called “Entreleadership”. He’s at the top of the pile with courses, podcasts, books, and resources out the wazoo. I’ll bet he helps a lot of people with all of it too. Yet, when I listen to him on his radio show, I’m not sure I’d like to spend a full evening with the man. Even though I think he’s aces with financial freedom advice, I don’t think he’s earned trust within me like my lowly mentor has done so easily. I’d have to spend time with him to figure that out for certain, of course.

Depth is best seen when when know someone. Their influence may be like a secret special sauce that goes unnoticed but changes everything.

That’s depth that makes a positive difference.

It’s normal but unsettling…

The period of time when we return to normal life after an event such as a conference or gathering. The Story Conference in Chicago is just that sort of thing.

I woke up today with a palpable need to self-soothe. The stress of travel, new surroundings, increased interactions, imparted wisdom, and stimulation overload unearthed deeper pain.

Creativity and pain hold hands. Did you know that?

The one helps the other and vice versa.

Interactions and creative energy revive us at a wonderful conference like STORY, but the let down happens just afterwards, and we scarcely feel ready for it.

Pain surfaces after our experiences and without the tools to do well with it, and the spiritual friendship and mentoring to make sense of it (a.k.a. SOUL CARE), we can make poor decisions or fail to thrive in the aftermath of something so initially nourishing.

You’ll find yourself doing what I’ve done:

Distracting yourself (be it with tech, food, friends, or hobbies)

withdrawing (disconnecting from others)

feeling angry or discontent (do I really need to explain this???…GEEEZE! …er….whoops)

The inspiration shifts to frustration or let down. 

But this is the time when divine stirrings are greatest. Spiritual companionship is a way to work through this time and grow. It can be a time of hope instead of confusion or awkwardness.

What are some of the emotions you feel in the days after a great and uplifting event?

If you’re interested learn more about spiritual guidance here. Or find a director/companion near you using the directory here.

It’s hard to absorb everything that I’ve seen and experienced here at the STORY conference  in Chicago. It’s a festival and experience punctuated with poignant presentations. I plan to have a day of silence just to process and pray.

Phil Vischer the founder of Big Idea and the voice of “Bob the Tomato” was the final presenter. His story was one of being miserable when he thought he had gotten what he wanted. He wanted to be the next Walt Disney, but he got stress. With success came a lawsuit that killed his Big Idea.

It turns out God wants us to change more than he cares about all the things we can do for him. All our talents and ideas even when they are noble and good aren’t as important as becoming who God wants us to be which is radically different than we are now.

The journey is never what we expect, and I wonder if living in the moment is closer to what we should do. A trust that is child-like in presentation. Expectant but not begrudging.

I think I should try to ee ready to say “yes” to God in whatever way big or small that is occurring at the time. Going with the flow…like a Jellyfish. (Phil said that his new company name “Jellyfish Labs” reflects this principle, because jellyfish go squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down, but the they are helpless to move another way. They must go where the current takes them.)

What a learning process life is. We think it’s more than squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down. We get to re-learn that a million times.

It takes being ruined or broken or ill to get us to that point sometimes. I think of my beloved Old Testament Professor who claimed true the same thing that Phil did. Talented in languages, he had big plans of making the Bible accessible, especially old testament law, which is always misunderstood and mistranslated. What great and ambitious goal. But he got very ill, and has battled illness and almost died many times in 3 decades since that time.

Is God keeping him at a certain spot? Just squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down, and hanging on to God for each moment and each day.

How will your Story end?

I can tell you this: It’s going to be a surprise. And that’s the point.