I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.

Gleanings

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.

• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.

• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.

• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.

Communication and Transactions

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.

• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.

The biggest reason people divorce? 

• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)

The most important things we can teach our children?

• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)

It’s always an honor to hear someone really share their pain. Not wallow, mind you. Not over-exposing their fiery emotions and gory  details. Something real and raw from a tender and seldom seen place.

The heartfelt wounds that still hurt from some kind of past or unnoticed pain. The cries of the heart. The reaching out to be heard, and then the comfort realized.

It always strikes me that at the very time when someone is most revealed and open they are at the same time supremely vulnerable and yet exquisitely lovable.

Truly human. It’s not just an honor because it is so rare …(it happens usually through time and trust and other options are unfavorable)…it’s an honor because there is within that moment a genuine glimpse of glory.

“The glory of God revealed is the human most fully alive.” -Irenaeus of Lyons

We have a rebirth–a fully alive moment–in those sort of times: Vulnerability through the struggles and between destinations. There the messy becomes beautiful. Redeemed.

Even though it feels really risky, the chance to be truly seen and heard in our vulnerability engenders compassion because what is common between us transcends the boundaries that keep us isolated.

—

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“It’s Christmas, lighten up! You’re such a ‘Debbie Downer‘!” someone said.

(Not to me, but I was in the throes of lament and just stared in shock wondering what would happen next. Would someone throw a punch, or would the named just wither in shame?)

The Joy and Rescue we are given in the Incarnation, celebrated at Christmas, should banish all pains and sorrow…..er….not so fast!

Lament and Joy always seem to pair off together. Strangely so.

Or Maybe not.

Perhaps because one doesn’t make sense without the other. Joy is chased by sorrow, and sorrow by Joy. Anyone with a choke hold on gladness is probably on drugs, uppers, of course. Can the words “choke hold” be paired with gladness?

Well, that’s my point.

I see a lot of pushiness to “bring Christmas back” and be glad because it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but that feels like a choke hold to me.

I need what I need. God will comfort me when I need it, and be in my Joy when that’s where I am. I’m not sure how I’ll feel today or when family pours in and presents go flying.

That’s what time of year it is!

My Debbie Downer Prayer:

Oh, Lord,

Thank you for the gift of your Son in a manger.

Be with me when I don’t feel this joy in my salvation, 

Give me the comfort of your steadfast love.

For those who are tormented, for those who have sorrow or grief,

For those whose burdens and hope deferred are strong enough

To keep under wraps amidst the cheer, be their hope in trail.

Hear their cries and laments

Salve them with your good Spirit 

Be their Shepherd and Deliverer

Show them you love them, whether they feel happy or not.

Amen.
Here’s some Debbie Downer for you.

2 More Things of Note:

THE CADRE. For those of you who’d like a friendship upgrade or a small group of people to help you through your next project, please check out the section above that reads “The Cadre” to find out what’s coming February 2013. It’s already in the works and promises to be 12 months of blessing. Spots are limited, and just a few remain.

To get the heads up about free download days of all my books and other nifty news, once in a while, sign up to my newsletter in the right column.

 “When people deny the humanity of others, they become evil themselves.”  -N.T. Wright

I’m preparing to do a quarter of a year (January-March) teaching with the themes and the companion videos of Tom Wright’s book Evil and the Justice of God.

We’ll be tackling some tough territory:

• Why is there so much Evil in the world? (More than ever?)

• Why does God let it happen and what, if anything, is God doing really about it? (What’s going on?)

• How does the Bible approach the subject? (Whoa. Lots of common misunderstandings here!)

• How does Justice work? (Revenge, Justice, Mercy, we’ll be sorting that out.)

• What is our role or best response with regards to Evil? (Do we stand against it, roll over, avoid it, bear it? The answers may surprise you.)

If you can’t make the classes Sundays 9:30-10:15 a.m. at Bethesda, I’ll be highlighting items here as I work on it and as I teach.

Here’s an intro video trailer. The book is remarkable. I highly recommend it.

I’m getting so much out of this little book!

(I really recommend getting a copy. I saw one on Amazon for $1.50 (used). What a bargain!)

Henri Nouwen gathered his thoughts and pennend notes for his personal use during a difficult 6 months of reflection and healing. They were meant as private notes, but after 8 years a few friends encouraged him to have them organized and published sensing other soul searchers would be encouraged by them. His pain is often palpable and humble and his words are like food for kindred spirits. I’m grateful he was so brave.

page 59

Love Deeply
Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that break the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide no to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.

Those you have deeply love become part of you. The longer you live, there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become part of your inner community. The wider your inner community becomes, the more easily you will recognize your own brothers and sisters in the strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognize those who live around you. The wider the community of your heart, the wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

You know you’re lost in the weeds when frustration sets in.

The weeds.

That’s the place off the narrow path.

And what’s the common wisdom for those who are lost? Stay put.

You will be found.

And indeed, it’s not that God will look for you and find you.

Because he knows just where you are. And he knows you.

You will instead awaken to him, and finally

Notice that he’s beside you, and you are not lost at all.

The benefit of a solid theology

Is knowing that there is no place that God is not.

O, God, let me find you in the weeds.

• Recycling is when you take what appears to be garbage and you reform or reuse it again. But what’s this “up-cycle” stuff?

• Upcycling is when one converts waste materials or useless items into new materials or products of better quality or for better environmental value.

The act and habit of worrying can be upcycled and in the next few posts I’ll unravel that.

First–
Stuff you might not know about WORRY:

1. Out-of -balance hormones can spike worry. A dip in progesterone in women or a drop in testosterone in men, for instance.

(This means that you can’t always get a handle on worry just by “thinking your way out of it”. There’s biological component.)

2. Anxiety (often seen as worry and other related problems) can be a genetic predisposition that runs in families, like heart disease can.

3. Changing habits can lessen worry, much like eating a good diet can help slim you down even if you come from a family that’s…um..big boned.

The Hopeful News…
If you have a knack for worry (negative), then you may have a great capacity to meditate (positive). Prayer and mediation are almost synonyms, and overwhelming evidence shows that the use of prayer/meditation improves one’s level of anxiety, well-being, and health. Worry is a Soul issue. That means it’s more than mental or spiritual (the Soul is the whole of you and who you are). Soul Care address this. So, here we go!

Getting to a good place is NOT like throwing a switch, so I’ll start to tackle ways to move toward Upcycing worry more this week.

(photo source)

Courage isn’t a feeling. It’s an inner fortress built brick-by-brick for strength when conditions are not favorable.

Malala Yousafzai is 14, and still alive.

She terrified the misogynistic and savage religious thugs of her region, and they reigned down brutality on her.

My prayers go out to her, her family, and the oppressed people of her country, especially all the girls who want to go to school.

(click on her name to read her story.)

Part of my journey, spiritually, has been to move from a fundamentalist upbringing, to an Evangelical / post-conservative theological formal training, and then toward “the mysteries” (i.e. mystic tendencies). What brought me there? Tremendous pain. I usually don’t talk of it for too long. Maybe there’s a memoir in me that should come to light, but the progression is palpable.

In “the mysteries” this means that I don’t think of suffering as a problem, sorrow as un-wellness, or bouts of profound unhappiness as a sign that I have too little faith. In fact, most of the biblical characters were kind of tortured souls. It’s a more recent construct that we should think the life of faith has a “Sunshine Mountain” feel to it.

So, I wanted to write out a few thoughts about what Mark Lepper posed out there on the Twitter-verse (see lower image).

My initial Twitter response (you see below) was less than 140 characters, so I thought I’d add a bit more.

@thelepper Nah. That notion helps us cope, but we can’t possibly verify it. It’s part of “the mysteries”

For just a moment…

Imagine your child kills himself. The most horrid thought (you needn’t linger there).

In the first few days, probably 20 people will tell you, “Everything happens for a reason.” Or, they’ll say, “All things work together for good…” You know the verse, right?

Rubbish.

(Probably most people don’t realize how out of context that verse is used that way. Erroneously they utilize just a part of it as a “band-aid platitude” to offer kindness.)

There are a great many things that have no good explanations and will not. The reasons won’t be revealed later either. On earth or in heaven. It really doesn’t work that way. And it really shouldn’t. Otherwise movement toward maturity would be at stake.

Really, it would be too confusing for us that God would answer these questions, so don’t count on an inquiry at the “ask the author” line in heaven, my dear friends.

When the pain of suffering wallops you and you can’t shelve your doubts long enough to work through the real hardship of it, one temptation is to consider that God must be malevolent or AWOL, instead of considering that we can’t possibly know the answer.

It is in the unknowing that we become enlightened to the ways of God.

It seems the two most common tactics (ways of coping) in tragedy are…

1. Try to believe that something horrible or evil has some sort of good redemptive reason, or will eventually come to something good because of it.

(Though it is true that God makes it his business to redeem everything…eventually….somehow…. we can’t think of this backward when we come into pain, and try jumping ahead. Pain can serve a point.)

2. Realize that so much is unexplainable and let our hope and faith erode or dissolve.

But there is a third option. And maybe more than just one more (you can let me know). Another way that’s been employed since humans have had optimism and spirituality (read: a very long time) is…

“the way of the mysteries”. And it’s not a cop out.

It’s farsighted. It’s a perspective that holds that the beauty we witness in this world is almost out of place in the nastiness and madness of it. It’s the idea of (good) ideals we all seem to possess that point to a greater, underlying and sustaining beauty and goodness obscured by the ways of the world, suffering, and the hardships of being human.

To embrace our situation as the mystics do is to not shun hardship or revel in it, but rather to let the pain refine us and make us wise. Oh, and it hurts. It hurts like hell.  And it, in some real sense, beats the hell out of us, and makes us endearing and compassionate. Beautiful.

The trouble is that if we’re satisfying with answers like, “Hey, friend! Don’t worry there’s a reason this horrible thing is happening,” then we are of very little good to those who are truly suffering.

In fact, our notions of “reasons” are often so pale and wanting. They just couldn’t possibly be sturdy enough. They don’t reveal what is legit and accurate.

Only when we can sit there alongside in the pain of those who hurt, and even take a part of the sorrow itself do we find we can make our way, honestly. And too, we must sit in our own pain. It’s uncomfortable. It’s dark. Sometimes horrid.

But to have the permission to hurt can send us toward wellness. It shows us that great sorrow comes on powerfully, and hurts badly, but does not have the final word. In the process of living well and deeply do we like a tender shoot become oaks of maturity and grace.

Please friends, be careful and don’t make a mockery of pain by disrespecting it or minimizing it (for yourself or anybody else). There is no human life without pain. There too is no growth without it. That’s the bit about incarnationality: The divine enters the human experience. That is our model.

So very deeply have I hurt, but now deeply can I love.

It’s true that redemption is chosen.

To be chosen it must first be acknowledged.

(that’s my longer answer)

Here’s a little reminder that everyone gets tired.

Everyone gets unbalanced.

Maybe you’ll be touched deeply and start crying when you hear a rapper slinging rhymes, which is really weird, but I did that.

Maybe you’ll just feel a heaviness in your heart that you can’t pinpoint. A slow burning ache, like the weight of the broken world is pushing in and perched on your sternum.

Maybe you’ll see relationships so broken and confusing and full of turmoil that you’ll start to disconnect.

Maybe you’ll snap at your kids, or get angry at a stranger whose story you can’t possibily know.

And grace will leak away from you and your ideals will be shelved, and you’ll wonder if you’re really a person who still believes in goodness anymore.

Here’s a word for you…and for me….

It hurts to be alive.

There are mysteries we want to know but can’t unravel.

You. Will. Get. Tired.

In this sorrow we are not alone, because we are the same.

(If you’d like to share your worry today or your burden, please do. In the comment section or using the contact me tab. I’ll pray for you, and maybe you can pray for me.)

Confession:
I can’t read parts of The Little Prince without weeping.

I’m hardly the weeping type, and yet…

the aching truth on vulnerability and intimacy contained in The Little Prince cuts all the way down to my what turns out to be a gooey marshmallow core; it gets in deep.

In reading The Little Prince,
I learn afresh that only love can tame you. Everything else that tames is just subjugation.
<click-to-tweet-this-quote>

If you’re not familiar with this classic, or even if you are, enjoy this excerpt:

–The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Excerpt:

Photo Credit: Pulpolux !!! via Compfight

For instance, sometimes I crave and ingest sugar. Sometimes I numb-out with tech, or some distraction. Sometimes I grow irritable and wallow a bit. I could go on and on, but I’ll stop before we both get too embarrassed.

What are some of the neurotic things you do?

Easter Table - Nikolay Bogdanov-Belsky

Easter and Thanksgiving are the times we’ve visited my side of the family. For as much as I hope these times will be worthwhile and joyous…more often they prove to be interactions marred by family of origin baggage and tensions forged in the kiln of pain and chaos.

I yearn to create new traditions in my nuclear family, but obligations and traditions with extended family crowd out those preferences.

I wonder now, as I recover from too much driving, what do we do when all the well-suited symbolism of new life and rebirth fail. When they don’t pan out in real life. When what you wish for, like a clean start, or even some version of new found tranquility proves unavailable.

The joy of Easter is there in the background, in a larger –what-God-is-up-to–sense, but interpersonally you just wish you could be somewhere else. That has to be more common than the Easter greeting cards let on.

My husband and I watched The Passion of the Christ on Good Friday, a day before we left on our Eater trip, and I was struck by something. The pain. So. much. pain.

This holiday is marked with the pain of God coming into our experience and absorbing all the agony. We tend to jump to the end. The happy ending of the joy of his resurrection. That’s the spot we focus on. O’ the joy!

For Christ’s followers it was actually more of a chaotic time rife with sorrow, dashed hopes, bewilderment, unbelief, and then surprise, okay, shock. Joy? Yes that too. But many other things.

First, he kept popping up in locked rooms, probably necessitating the “Peace to you” language, because he was freaking them out so much. He gave them hope enough to spread the Good News, but much was left undone. In fact, the hardest times were ahead. And, Jesus didn’t stay long.

Real life is complicated.

There was infighting, arrests, beatings, Steven is the first martyr, wild Saul starts imprisoning and killing Jesus’ friends–then he reverses course. Death where is your sting, says St. Paul? Well, guess what? The pain still smarts like the dickens.

* * *

I must say I have some envy for those who experience serenity and all the related majesty and renewal of Eastertide. Sometimes those symbols fail me. This was one of those times. Perhaps they do not in any long term or big picture way, but in the nitty gritty ways and means that life plays out…yes. And that makes it difficult. So much of life just doesn’t work right. So much is still broken, empty tomb or not.

You probably thought you were going to read a happy ending. Maybe I would turn my frown upside down. But, right now, I can’t find the right ending to write about. Maybe the symbolism hasn’t failed me, maybe I have failed it. I suppose like many stories, this one isn’t over yet either. But, the dot-dot-dots (…) are each so weighty and confounding.

Have you noticed the presence of REVENGE themes…

kinda all over the place?

Maybe you’ve heard (or said) something like,

“One day he’ll get his! God will get him for what he did!”

or

“Wait until judgement day! God says he will repay. He will avenge.”

or

“I just can’t wait until she gets what’s coming to her.”

Sometimes people even use these verses (below) to comfort themselves, or maybe assuage their rage while trying to wait for God dole out paybacks.

Because…You know what they say about paybacks…

Hebrews 10:30-31
For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

Here’s the final Word on paybacks.

God gives them out, well, he has. God did avenge. God did repay. Justice was served…as grace (for us). God’s due wrath and fury, the full vengeance for all the horrid wrongs was repaid…

In every sickening, flesh-ripping whip strike upon the innocent body of Jesus of Nazareth. In every bash, wallop, wound, thorn gouge, spear stab, and nail pounding. Every pain.

All of sin, then, now, and forever was paid for. Their sin…. And your sin.

It is finished. Really.

The kind of revenge we want for others has already happened, and it was very expensive.

Hold back your hope for paybacks, because Jesus doesn’t need to do it again. Jesus took the blows for their debt, and more importantly for yours.

Let us be aware of how costly our sin is…

…even our sin of hoping for revenge…but calling it “justice”.

Justice is spookier than we’ve realized.

Forgive. When that stops working, forgive again.

Creative Commons ( click for attribution )

So, now what?

I had a great chat with Alise Wright and we talked about her upcoming book project Not Afraid. Plus, we talk a bit about a few other things like marriage equality and Mark Driscoll’s new polemic book “Real Marriage” (and I may need to offer some bonus video material on that insightful stuff); can men and women be friends (best of friends, even when they are married to other people); and Alise’s upcoming personal work in keeping with her calling.

Here’s Janet chatting with me about courage and hope. Find out at her website how you can get her book FREE.

click for photo source

In the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar, actress Demi Moore replies to the question, “What scares you?” by saying,

“If I were to answer it just kind of bold-faced, I would say what scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me … What scares me the most is not knowing and accepting that just about everything is not in my control. That makes me feel unsafe.”

Some people may claim the Hollywood starlet is speaking of a “God-shaped void” as Blaise Pascal once referred to it. But wait just a minute…

Not everybody will admit to this sort of thing. Some never gaze inward long enough to see it. But there it is. While many won’t realize what what the jilted Moore is talking about for themselves, I think this women has hit on a fundamentally human frailty fraught with universal relevancy. (And it has virtually nothing to do, in fact, with a certain shaggy-headed addition to the Two And A Half Man sitcom.) This frailty, I might add, is not actually negative, as we might first imagine, but rather part of the vulnerability that is the stuff of being human.

It’s these same underlying and exquisitely human fears that we mask, medicate, bury, avoid, deflect, or anesthetize, that cause all manner of destructive behaviors and coping mechanisms. For Demi, who was just hospitalized for stress-related health issues (namely exhaustion…and likely malnutrition), it can create potent consequences. It’s something wealth, influence, fame, accolades, and beauty doesn’t seem to ameliorate. Curious, no?

For many religion or spiritual practice helps to blunt the reality of our human predicament, but clearly that alone doesn’t seem to actually mend the situation. I refer not to just the situation of being mortal, but of being fundamentally impotent. Rarely is this gnawing sense placated for long. Demi, for one, is connected to the practice of Kabblah, but it hasn’t helped this core need.

Though her vulnerability and frailties are up for public scrutiny, many possess the same sorts of fears and maladies, and even despair, but go unnoticed.

To me, our condition seems unmendable…purposefully, that is.

Christians may argue they are the exception; they feel a great sense of hope because of belief in Jesus Christ, arriving to our world as the incarnation of God to make a pathway back to God. Alas, Redemption! Closure, right? Yet a cursory survey of believers (even 3 minutes scanning twitter feeds) show they too are rife with the same sorts of problems as Moore, and Jesus hasn’t seemed to fix that for them.

(The particulars of why are widely speculated and even hotly contested. Some call for more faith and prayer, while others osmotically move into greater embracing of “the mysteries”.)

The funny things is, I get Demi. I feel those things too. I wrestle with them, and I’ve taken up the journey to walk through all the rough patches, which are aplenty.

I think it’s high time to bring what it means to be human out it the open.

A kind of unlearning happens as we grow wiser, and the sort of acceptance of our weaknesses may take hold as we become more acquainted with our human condition. Maturity I think it’s called. The “Will we ever get there?” question lingers.

What do you think about Demi’s quote?

Do you relate to her, or do you see things differently?

Thank you so much for stopping by today.

It’s a really big day for me, for at least 3 reasons…hold up! 5 Reasons. (I just found out it’s The Year of the Dragon starting today AND National Pie day. Eating pie like a dragon seems like the proper thing to do and Very exciting!)

Here’s 3 more reasons.

1. Author Shawn Smucker’s interview is now live, it’s awesome, and it’s the first of two parts (see the previous post).

2. Doomsday debunker and writer of a bunch of books, Jason Boyett, posted the pre-lease of his interview with me about his fun (yes I said fun) Doomsday book. For now, it’s only available at his site, here, (and it’s unlisted on youtube until that goes live, on January 30th to the general public).

Since it’s time-sensitive info…go ahead and get the word out! (We might only have 11 more months before ultimate doom and annilation, so be a darling and help some people not freak out, k?)

3. I have a guest post at Confessions of a Funeral Director. No, I’m not a funeral director, but it is a kind of confession.

Please stop by and read my deathly guest post at Caleb’s poignant site. He’s, by far, my favorite undertaker. And I mean that!

And check back for a fascinating Ninja Interview with Caleb which will be up soon.

The themes of Dr Brown and the things she speaks on could change your life to the better. No kidding.

May you enjoy this gem as much as I did.

Mike just went pro, taking his message of hope and inspiration to youth in schools, church, and community groups. In this short video we talk about his message, his new book, and teenagers. Also Mike is not Slim Shady, but he did pimp this Ninja experience.

I was drawn to Ray’s blog called, Students of Jesus, because of my own quest at understanding and learning about Spiritual Formation, on a personal level and in a ministerial capacity.

Ray’s blog puts it best,

Jesus invited us to take his yoke and learn from him. The Students of Jesus blog is dedicated to spiritual formation and the steps toward that goal.

Needless to say, I’m a BIG fan.

In this snapshot interview, we talk about his Parable project for 2012, spiritual growth, the nature and benefits of spiritual direction, not to mention Lortab and bad hair.

You can also find added information about Ray’s own spiritual “Jedi Master”, Dave Nixon at Sustainable Faith.com

(This photo is hereby released into the public domain as part of the Artists Advent Project (click for more details). Use or distribute freely.)

Idioms are the stuff we trip over when we consider biblical language about heaven, or hell for that matter.

Pearly gates, streets of gold, city walls made of gems, and so on, in such a captivating portrayal may distract us from the greater truths the biblical writers were pointing to.

Having no vocabulary to render a fully redeemed new earth, the biblical writers described heaven in terms of peace (shalom) in mentioning that the city gates would never close. They spoke of righted relationships (i.e. golden neighborhood streets), lavish blessing, stability and security (beautiful pearly gates, no night) and no anguish in the form of tears, psychic pain, and death (a.k.a. no sea).

As I pondered some of the concepts in Tim Keller’s Gospel in Life video series in my sunday school class, I thought about the Tree of Life, revisited from the Eden story and given a call back in the story of our heavenly hope, the new earth.

This Tree of Life stuff reveals something far bigger than some sort of large plant with bark with life giving produce. Thinking of simply a literal tree planted in the new earth of heaven, and people lining up to get its life-giving fruit to live forever, sells short the magnitude of what God has done for us through his grace. This tree illustration sheds light on the bounty, abundance of God, and diet of his love that sustains us, world without end.

As you look at your Christmas tree in the next few days, let its presence reflect the hope we have in the reality of what God has done, and what he continues to do. Jesus’ birth, life, death, and resurrection breathes life into our spirits, and sustains us now, and in the world to come.

Do you have any thoughts about hope to share today?

Dr David Lamb ..."the Bible guy"

God Behaving Badly: Is God Angry, Sexist and Racist?
The cheeky title sucked me right in, so I contacted Dr. Lamb to learn more about his new book. I read a (free) PDF copy, and shot him some questions. His answers are below. Since he took the time to write about the tough stuff, I figured he’d be okay if I pitched with a hardball. I hope you enjoy it.

PLUS. Check out what I wrote up as a review for the book at Amazon, here. I don’t pull punches, with my pros and cons. It’s a blogger integrity thing.

Also–See how you can get your very own free, signed copy at the end of the post.

INTERVIEW:
Dave, thanks for giving me a PDF copy of your book to read. Here are a few burning questions:

1. Your sense of humor comes out a lot in GBB, which makes it enjoyable to read. (Old Testament and theology stuff is often a dry topic, have you noticed?) So, am I right to assume that you and D.A. Carson are not involved in a comedy improv group together?

Carson keeps asking me to come on tour with his troupe, but previous engagements prohibit.

Yes, I’ve noticed that books on the OT or theology aren’t generally enjoyable to read. The most critical initial reader of the book didn’t like my tone and humor. He wanted me to use words like “ontological”, but I’ve told close friends if I ever use that word they have permission to dope-slap me instantly. I wanted to write a book that not only discussed some of the most troubling passages in Scripture, but also made people laugh. George Bernard Shaw said, “If you are going to tell people the truth, make them laugh, or they will kill you.” That’s my personal motto.

2. What prompted you to write the book? (An experience?  A conversation? A “journey”? A course you were teaching? etc.)

I love teaching on difficult texts and ignored texts. This book brought those two interests together.

It’s hard to say something fresh about John 3:16 (“been there, done that”). It’s not hard to say something fresh about Uzzah (2 Sam. 6 The guy God smote after he touched the ark to steady it for falling.) because preachers and teachers are afraid to talk about texts like that. No one’s heard a sermon on Uzzah before, so the one I give might be the best one they’ve ever heard.

It also comes out of either insecurity or defensiveness. When you teach OT in the world where the NT reigns supreme you feel like you want to address that situation, to defend the OT and YHWH. Ultimately, it breaks my heart that people don’t love and appreciate the OT and the God it describes.

3. So, do you consider GBB a theological book? ….Or, what category do you think it fits into?

My favorite question to ask students while discussing a biblical text is, “What do we learn about God here?” I guess that makes me theologian, although, I’d rather be called a student of the Bible (or better yet, “a Bible guy”).

GBB is mainly a book about the Bible, particularly the Old Testament. I don’t quote many scholars, theologians or apologists, but at the back GBB has a 5-page Scripture index filled with literally hundreds of Bible references.

4.  I think the ones most likely to best appreciate your book are
Seekers, Doubters, and untrained or new Christians. Though well-researched, it does not  read like an academic-styled book. Who do you think it’s best for?

The primary audience includes people who are troubled by what they read in the Old Testament. I think that means everyone.

5. Your book covers a really tough and confusing issue with regards to Old Testament Law. Rape. On page 179 you say, “Even though God hates rape, he commands a woman to marry her rapist.” Ugh. I don’t think this argument really works to help your point, Dave. Can you explain this topic a bit more?

The dynamics of courtship and marriage in the OT context are indeed much different than they are today. Many of us realize that most rapes are committed not by strangers, but by acquaintances, and I’m pretty sure this was true in OT times, so some of these dynamics may come into play into contexts like Deut. 22, which may have been comparable to a “date rape”. The distinction between rape, and seduction between people who know each other sometimes blurs, but the fact that various OT laws are engaging this topic, and are generally mandating severe penalties for the perpetrator in order to protect the victim was progressive in the ancient Near East.

6. Suppose someone argues that you are just making a bunch of excuses for God to make him a “better sale”. How would you respond to that?

Yep. That’s true. Although, it’s hard to sell something if you believe your product is crap. Gifted salespeople could do that. I couldn’t. It helps to have a product that you believe in. The God that I encounter in the pages of the Old Testament is highly compelling, so it makes for an easy sale, even with all the smiting.

I don’t deny that I have a bias (I’m post-modern). I try to state my biases up front. I would want to hear what the bias is of people who think I’m making excuses for God. Once we get our biases out in the open, then I would want to look at the text together and discuss it. Hopefully, we could then learn from each other.

7. I appreciate that you don’t claim to know everything about the meanings of the laws, recorded acts, and motivations of God in the Testaments. In general, would you like to encourage readers to be okay (flexible) with not knowing all the whys and particulars in the troubling passages of the Bible? Do you see a practical application for doing this?

We’re going to need to be OK without knowing all the whys because these texts will never fully make sense to anyone. We need to work to gain understanding, but we won’t arrive at that point ever. If someone thinks they understand all the troubling Bible texts, they are either naïve, deceived or arrogant. In GBB, I’m trying to give people helpful tools for understanding tough texts (I hope to do more of that in a future book). If we’re OK with not fully solving these problematic passages, then we can be free to look at them and begin to make more sense of them.

The practical application is that students and teachers of the Bible would not avoid, but they would seek out troubling texts and be eager to teach on them. These texts have profound lessons to teach us about God and God’s character. I personally believe Paul wasn’t high when he said “all Scripture is inspired and profitable for teaching, for reproof…” (2 Tim 3:16), so maybe we should teach “all Scripture”. And Paul was talking about the Old Testament primarily. Most pastors and Bible teachers might say they agree with Paul, but when you look at what they teach and preach on, they don’t agree with Paul.

8. What one thing (or you can pick a few) do you think people get wrong when they try to understand the God recorded in Scriptures?

I could pick a lot of things, but if I had to focus on one thing people get wrong I’d say people want a God they can completely understand and predict. Our tiny brains can’t fully comprehend God and his behavior. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, but he’s not going to fit neatly into our systematic theology framework. This shouldn’t surprise us because we can’t fully understand people and people are made in God’s image. Both God and humans are complex, mysterious.

God also wants to have a real relationship with us not to fit into our conceptual framework of the divine. At risk of being trite, C.S. Lewis said in the Chronicles of Narnia that “Aslan is not a tame lion”. The first time I read that it didn’t make sense to me. Later, it just made me mad. Now, I think it’s brilliant. We want to tame God by putting him into our conceptual frameworks so we can understand him. That’s just not going to happen. If I were God (a big “if”), that would piss me off.

9. Anything else you’d like to add?
 This book is meant to encourage people to not be afraid of the Old Testament and the God it describes.  It addresses 7 problems, each in only 1 chapter.  So, it’s not meant to give a final exhaustive answer to these questions, but hopefully it can be a starting point.  I could recommend other books that go into more detail, but the best way to keep working on these issues is to study and discuss problematic passages in the context of community, with family and friends, in small groups and Sunday school classes.  As people do this, they will deepen their relationships with each other, as well as their relationship with God.

I agree! Thanks, Dave, and thanks to all of you for reading. To read more from Dave find his blog, here.

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Photography by Andreas Stridsberg

This month, I’ve been focusing some posts on mental health.

Today, it’s Borderline Personality Disorder. Sounds like something really weird, right? It’s surprised me to learn about this.

It’s a love/hate thing, and I think it’s a bit more common than either one of us realize. The description may surprise you, too. When you read it, co-workers, family members, friends, acquaintances, neighbors will come to mind, and you’ll think, “Whoa, you can diagnose this, for real?”

Wikipedia describes BPD as a prolonged disturbance of personality function characterized by depth and variability of moods.^{[n 1]} Usually the disorder involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting.

The disorder often manifests itself in idealization and devaluation episodes, as well as chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual’s sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation, self-harm, or violence.^[1]

BPD splitting (all-or-nothing thinking) includes a switch between idealizing and demonizing others. Obviously, this, combined with mood disturbances, can undermine relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.

Sound like anyone you know?

Does this mean extremism is a mental disorder? hum?

Some Symptoms:

• Fear of being abandoned
• Feelings of emptiness and boredom
• Frequent displays of inappropriate anger
• Impulsiveness with interests, money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, or shoplifting
• Intolerance of being alone
• Repeated crises and acts of self-injury, such as wrist cutting or overdosing

Treatment and medication are helpful.

More here:
(National Center for Biotechnology Information, U.S. National Library of Medicine)

Did you find this information interesting? Let me know.

In our darkest moments it’s difficult to shake the feeling of aloneness. God may seem so hidden.

In those worst times several things have helped me devotionally and/or spiritually. One of them is the power of community. I use the strength and prayers of others as my own. I may read (and pray) the lamenting scriptures (like Psalms) when I feel too spiritually dry or weary to pray. I agree with the prayers of others for me and hold those prayers in my heart. When I can’t find the words, or feel the feelings I’d like to I share in the source and inheritance of the community of Believers for strength that is beyond grasp for me alone.

Today, I am listing two resources that are very helpful for this. Maybe you know someone in the middle of a dark, weary, or dry time. Maybe you are there yourself. You may feel quite alone. Strangely, that feeling itself can teach us. Since God’s presence is everywhere, that potent sense of alienation that overtakes our heart can refine in us the faith that does not come through our senses. We can have a “knowing place” even if we feel otherwise numb.

The first resource book is a collection of stories from people who have felt alone in the throes of depression. Together, they harmonize in a chorus of hope, and in the reality of the provision of our Creator. I think you will appreciate their entires.

The second resource is one I’m reading now. I’ll include a few quotes, I’ve read recently, to give you a sense of the power of this book–both for understanding or ministering to those suffering from the pain of mental illness, or for a tether of grace sustaining your hope for a brighter day in recovery from your present darkness.

Forgetfulness deprives our consciousness of great solace…my memories give me hope.  p 90

Any coherence in the midst of chaos, any sense in the midst of nonsense, in the work of God. p110

…[W]e really have to admit that all our love and all our hopes are ultimately borrowed for God anyway. p116

Please share your thoughts.

Do you have a song of lament today in your heart? You have permission to share it here.

Psalm 10

¹ O Lord, why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide when I am in trouble?
² The wicked arrogantly hunt down the poor.
Let them be caught in the evil they plan for others.
³ For they brag about their evil desires;
they praise the greedy and curse the Lord.

⁴ The wicked are too proud to seek God.
They seem to think that God is dead.
⁵ Yet they succeed in everything they do.
They do not see your punishment awaiting them.
They sneer at all their enemies.
⁶ They think, “Nothing bad will ever happen to us!
We will be free of trouble forever!”

⁷ Their mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats.^[a]
Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues.
⁸ They lurk in ambush in the villages,
waiting to murder innocent people.
They are always searching for helpless victims.
⁹ Like lions crouched in hiding,
they wait to pounce on the helpless.
Like hunters they capture the helpless
and drag them away in nets.
¹⁰ Their helpless victims are crushed;
they fall beneath the strength of the wicked.
¹¹ The wicked think, “God isn’t watching us!
He has closed his eyes and won’t even see what we do!”

¹² Arise, O Lord!
Punish the wicked, O God!
Do not ignore the helpless!
¹³ Why do the wicked get away with despising God?
They think, “God will never call us to account.”
¹⁴ But you see the trouble and grief they cause.
You take note of it and punish them.
The helpless put their trust in you.
You defend the orphans.