Archive for Spiritual growth

More Influential than Klout [Guest Post by Alise Wright]

lisacolondelay / April 23, 2012 / 9 comments
Guidance

I was really excited when Alise came on board with this Series. Ever since I started reading her blog, I’ve felt like she was my homegirl. She’s a busy girl, though, and I didn’t know if it would work out for her to participate. Thankfully, for me and you too, she’s a gracious girl, and I welcome you to read her contribution. Thank you, Alise!

(also “girl” means awesome woman)

Alise is married to an amazing man and is mom to four incredible kids. She enjoys writing, playing keyboards in her cover band, eating soup, and Oxford commas. She is the editor of “Not Alone: Stories of Living with Depression” and is currently editing “Not Afraid: Stories of Finding Significance”, both with Civitas Press. She blogs regularly at alise-write.com, and you can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

More Influential than Klout
-by Alise Wright 

Blogging is kind of a funny thing.

Absolutely anyone can go set up a blog and start writing right now. Heck, someone probably read that last sentence and thought, “You know, that’s true,” stopped reading, and started a blog. I’m glad my writing could inspire you.

And there it is. As soon as we have anyone reading our words, we have this power. It won’t happen every time, but when we write, we become influential. Not like the way Klout tells us that we’re influential, but in a more real way. We can shift perspectives. We can persuade decisions. We can impact conversations.

Often, however, we forget that our readers and commenters have the ability to influence us as well.

I post regularly about relationships that are dangerous and those kinds of posts tend to elicit strong reactions.

Because for the most part, we tend to read people who think like us, I often get positive comments. People will say that they have felt the same way, but didn’t know how to say it. They will share that they appreciate a different perspective being presented. Sometimes folks will tell me that I’m a true Christian for speaking out in favor of bridge building.

In these instances, it’s easy to allow people to influence my view of my faith.

Often, however, in these same posts, I get reactions that are not so supportive. People will suggest that my perspective is damaging. They will call me deceived. I’ve had people tell me that my views about things like cross-gender friendship, or LGBT affirmation, or atheist dialog without the goal of conversion indicate that I’m not a Christian at all.

In these instances, it’s easy to allow people to influence my view of my faith.

This is not how faith works. Our community can help shape our faith and can encourage us in the day to day application of that in our lives, but people on the outside don’t get to tell us if we’re real Christians or not.

One way to sort that question out is to look at what the Bible has to say.

In Philippians 2:12-13 we read, “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

We work out our own salvation. We allow God to work in us.

My salvation isn’t determined by the number of people who agree with my point of view versus those who disagree. It isn’t determined by the person who thinks I’m a real Christian or the person who thinks I’m a pagan. It isn’t determined by inclusions on one list or exclusions on another.

My salvation is something that I work out with the One who calls me his child.

That’s the only influence that really matters.

#   #   #

Have reader comments ever influenced you or challenged your faith?

Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, Bible, blogging, Books, Christianity, Community, Creators & Communicators, culture, Featured Guest Blogger, ministry, Soul Care, Spiritual growth, Worship / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

12 Ways to Spike Blog Hits

lisacolondelay / April 19, 2012 / No comments
Guidance

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Creative Commons License
Photo Credit: Jay via Compfight

The following list of 6 is semi-humorous and/or satire:

sat·ire

   [sat-ahyuhr]  

noun

1.

the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

 

The first 6 of 12 Ways to Spike Blog Hits

• Say “vagina”. (It doesn’t even have to relate to the rest of the post. Just wave the it around. The word, that is, not anything else. Wait! What did you think I meant? And also a shout out to Rachel Held Evans who’s keeping things vaginal. The word picked her, actually, and she’s a good sport despite the monkey business. Get it?)

• Threaten Violence. (This is especially powerful if the sentiment is violent but the reference is farcical. You come out smelling better this way too. Pretty even.)

• Disclose something sexual, or promise to.

• Be angry and let a rant loose. (Have you seen the 1st Harry Potter? Do what he did at the zoo, just with your words…obviously.)

• Feed people lurking around for controversy. (Stick to newsy bits, disputes, scandals, injustice, corruption, you get the idea. There are many prowling for this, so really, it’s SO Money.)

• Post about something sordid, or be a punk. (Titillate. Be explicit, rude, foul-mouthed, try adult-themes, sexual content, unhealthy habits, dangerous stuff, immoral activities, etc. Hello, bad ass.)

Many readers give in to their worst or weakest appetites. That’s just the facts.

These next 6 are the ones I endorse. They won’t get you the same sorts of quick spikes, but they will build a loyal and good-natured readership over a longer term.

They also have quite a but to do with generosity.

The last 6 of 12 Ways to Spike Blog Hits
(and by “spike” I mean not that at all, probably)

• Thank others openly (Ed Cyzewski does this well. Thank you, Ed, for teaching me a lot here.)

• Be a credible resource or niche expert (I’ve mentioned my new niche here.)

• Be humorous, amusing, or feature those who are. (Remember this fruity Bert & Ernie classic? …What? I can’t hear you?…What a duo! I plan to “hat tip” this in an upcoming video.)

• Invite others into your limelight (Guest contributors are one way. So, Call me. By that, I mean tweet me.)

• Share your lists of favorites (It’s win-win. Alise Wright does this well.)

• Link up with great causes (Here’s a new favorite of mine: The Good Woman Project)

If you learned something here today, do one of the last 6, k?

Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Christianity, Creators & Communicators, culture, evil, Humor, ministry, Spiritual growth, technology / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In which Sarah Bessey Writes a Letter to Bloggers…

lisacolondelay / April 16, 2012 / 19 comments
Guidance

In which I post Sarah Bessey's photo

Sarah Bessey writes at Emerging Mummy where she has become an accidental grassroots voice for postmodern and emerging women in the Church on issues from mothering to politics and theology to ecclesiology. Her writing has been well received in many publications including Church Leaders, Relevant Magazine, A Deeper Story, SheLoves Magazine, and Emergent Village. Sarah also works with Mercy Ministries of Canada, a non-profit residential home for women seeking freedom from life-controlling issues. She is a happy-clappy follower of Jesus and social justice wannabe. Sarah lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada with her husband, Brian, and their three tinies: Anne, Joseph and Evelynn

Hey, everyone! Lisa, here.

I’m happy to include a lovely person, champ blogger, and Canadian beauty– the one, the only: Sarah Bessey. I could tell you that I love Sarah and that I love reading her blog, but then you would just think, “Duh? Who doesn’t, Stupid?!”

Yesterday, she had a gracious response to the flap about under-represented female bloggers by posting her own list, which you can check out with her handy dandy button (link):

So, I’ll just use this valuable spot, after the 50 Button and before the letter from Sarah (yes, it’s beachfront property, baby) to encourage you to sign on for RSS or email updates for continued awesomeness. Lots of great writers are my splendid guest contributors ( a.k.a Series #4Bloggers ). My first ebook comes out May 1 “Soul Care for Creators and Communicators”. It’s free if you sign up for it here. (It too is part of the awesomeness. More on that in the coming days and weeks)

And now, enjoy!

FROM SARAH
Dear Blogger:

There are so many ways to be a better blogger, to increase your traffic, to maximize your SEO, to make money. 

I practice almost none of them.

After nearly 8 years of writing my life out online, I’ve made almost every mistake one can make. I’ve learned the hard way to write angry, but publish when I’ve calmed down. I’ve received my fair share of angry criticism and lavish praise. I’ve been convinced that I’m God’s gift to the blogosphere and, usually within a few moments, pretty sure that my blog is an abomination upon the earth. And I discovered that what is good for the Google analytics isn’t always good for my soul.

In the midst of the reactionary, often inflammatory, competitive, over-saturated, addictive world of online writing, I repeat to myself, “Remember who you are, Sarah.”

That simple phrase has helped me decide what to write and what to publish, what to leave to other bloggers. It’s helped me focus my content, reconcile my values with my work, make decisions about blog growth tactics, advertising opportunities, networking or relationships. It’s helped me not to crash into despair when someone emails with harsh criticism or fries me up in their own blog post as a “response” served with chips. And it’s also helped me not to get too full of myself when praised, I’m very well aware of who I am and, as every one that knows me in real life can attest, I’m disgustingly normal with flaws and frustrations.

But even beyond the world of blogging, that phrase has helped me make decisions about my priorities and values. It’s helped me to shut the computer down most days, to go outside with my tinies, to make space for spiritual disciplines like silence and secrecy, to make cookies instead of nasty comments. It’s helped me to engage in the hard work of real, skin-on community, to put my physical hands to justice and mercy, to rock my babies to sleep. 

“Remember who you are” means remembering that I’m more than a blogger. I’m Brian’s wife. I’m Anne and Joseph and Evelynn’s mummy. I’m my parents’ daughter, my sister’s best friend. I’m Auntie-Mama to my little nieces. I’m someone who would rather eat popcorn for supper. 

And beyond all that, it helps me remember: I walk in the ways of Jesus. I am a peace maker. I am committed to speaking Love as my first language. I am an advocate for Mercy. I am a grace-receiver, a forgiver, a woman after God’s own heart.

So my friend, remember who are. In the midst of the blogging, beyond the blogging, and through it all, remember this: you are loved, you are loved, you are loved. 

Remember who you are, my friend.  

Love, Sarah
Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Christianity, Community, Creators & Communicators, Featured Guest Blogger, Humor, Soul Care, Spiritual growth / Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Smart Authors Balance Honesty and Transparency [Guest post by Warwick Fuller]

lisacolondelay / April 13, 2012 / One comment

I met our next contributor in seminary. If you don’t know Warwick personally, it’s hard to describe him. Just reading his work one could get the false impression that he is just mildly eccentric, even understated. Don’t be fooled.

Warwick leaks out and away from every typical category. First of all, Warwick takes great pleasure in being unusual. He’s involved and conscientious. He makes frenzied gestures when he’s excited, his laugh is thoroughly concussive, and he devours books at vertiginous speed. He’s intense, yet surprises you with his sensitivity. He’s intelligent, but that doesn’t ever seem to help him for long. He’s both a marvel and a conundrum. I like him and I’ve learned a lot from him. Probably when it was least expected, and often where blood, or tears, or sweat has something to do with it. I’ve appreciated Warwick in the same way I grew to like dark lager. (In this curious photo, an unseen doctor checks Warwick for a mutant sty that developed after reading too many spiderman comics. Or, I made that last part up.)

Smart Authors Balance Honesty and Transparency
-by Warwick Fuller

We’ve just moved for the 4th time in the past year. I just opened a box that was labeled desk stuff and found an old journal.   How I approach my journal is different from my blog.  My blog is mostly about my observations and the events going on in my life that are affecting me and the world around me.  Because of my faith, these observations are thru a certain lens.  I don’t think I’m bashful about that lens, but I am choosy about what I share in regards to that lens.  I’m choosy about what I share about my family.  I do know some of my readers.  I don’t know all of them.

In blogging there are certain ideals, and those that post them well are the people that have a high traffic volume.  Two of those ideals are honesty and transparency.  In being honest, we can see the writer’s flaws, and the true humanity that is behind the words and stories.  In being transparent, the writer becomes relatable.  These are trust issues.  A good author wants you to trust their work; wants you to understand and relate.

Being a smart author in such a personal medium is to know when to draw the line when it comes to transparency.  For me there are a couple of rules that I have employed in my head to help.

  1.  Never paint your spouse/child/significant other in such a shade that they are degraded in the eyes of others.  I never want others to regret what I write about them, especially my immediate family.  It’s unfair; they never get to defend themselves on my page.  The stories I do share about them that I question I always run by my wife first.  If she feels uncomfortable then its off the table.
  2. Never put your family in danger.  Honestly, there are crazy people out there.  My nana says more than there were when she was a kid.  The post that draws the most attention to my blog is a picture of the Marvel Comic Family Tree (nerd alert), and I’m not sure who is being drawn in because of it.   I am very careful in revealing certain details about where we are and what my kids are up to.  I’m honest, just not naïve.
  3. It’s ok to make yourself the butt of a joke, but be redeemable.  Some reputations have been killed by what an author writes about himself on the interwebs.  Some comedians make a life out of self-humiliation.  I think that may be fine for others, but I want to be trusted by those who ask for my advice.  Because of the line of work I am in, others count on my opinion and advice.  I do not want that ruined by a misplaced, though true, story.
  4. When in doubt, find a community to run your idea by first.  I have a wife who is understanding and is intelligent.  She also likes me, which helps when I tell her I want to put something on my blog.  She’s god at asking the right questions that help me not just know what to put up but how and why.  If you do not have a soundboard, then find one.  Or at least, write down your post and revisit a week later, before you post it.  This is just a good habit, anyway.
  5. Be aware that the truth you find in your observations may not be what others saw.  It’s the old joke about the blind men and the elephant.  If you are writing about an event that took place, it’s not a bad idea to make sure you saw exactly what you saw.  Ask others that were a part of it for their own observations.  It makes a story round, and they can provide details you missed.
  6. Don’t make yourself un-hirable.    I have no idea what the future holds for me and my family.  I do not want anything I’ve put up on my blog to put in jeopardy whatever God is leading us to next.  Neither should you.  A good reputation, to be trusted, is a desirable goal. I’ve heard better than silver and gold.  Weigh your words and see if what you read is how you want people to see you.

So, fellow bloggers, how close an eye are you keeping on your words?  What safeguards do you employ?  Can you ever be too honest and open?

Bio: Warwick Fuller is a blogger at www.warwickfuller.wordpress.com.  He names his pets after Anglican literary figures and wears bow ties. He is lead on his church’s Wednesday night Family Ministry, and is a USAR Chaplain.  He is married with three daughters and lives in Harrisburg, PA.  

Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Creators & Communicators, discernment, Featured Guest Blogger, Humor, ministry, Spiritual growth, temptation, worldviews / Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Once upon a Niche…

lisacolondelay / April 12, 2012 / 3 comments
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Sometimes you find your niche. Sometimes a niche presents itself. And sometimes you get a bit of both and it feels like Paris in Springtime, which smells great and involves kissing (and I’ll just save that bit for some other post, or my dairy).

Finding one’s niche includes a merging of ingredients:

• Perparation

• Passion

• Education

• Opportunity

You put it all together and you make it with an “m” (for mission)

And you get patty cake instead of hokey pokey.

My niche is now helping and encouraging Creators and Communicators.

People who feel put on the planet to create things or communicate important things.

Have you found your niche yet?

Or would you like some encouragement or direction?

I’ve creating new resources for just that thing.


 

Tell us what you like to focus on or Leave a link so we can find your niche.

Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Christians, Community, Creators & Communicators, Free Stuff, Humor, ministry, Soul Care, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth, Spirituality, worldviews / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Why You Don’t Need Patience

lisacolondelay / April 11, 2012 / No comments

Let's-Go-Shopping

Photo Credit: James Vaughan via Compfight

This is the 2nd consecutive month that I took a day for a prayer retreat at the same Jesuit Spiritual Retreat Center. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. This time I took a friend along. After we arrived, we went our separate ways, and met up later to talk a little about our insights, prayer time, and Scripture reading.

I’ll share one of them with you. I was struggling with some frustration and impatience. It’s mostly the ordinary stuff that involve being a mom, a wife, a writer, and the parent of a special needs boy. It’s the kind of thing that becomes distracting, and hinders my reactions, thoughts, and feelings toward my family. They might get the the spillover when I can’t handle the chaos of the day.

So, this was nagging at me to talk to God about, and I did just that. It didn’t hurt that I was sitting in the sun, and the pink trees was blossoming fully. I was ready to listen. And just as soon as I get it out I heard in my spirit, “It’s okay. You don’t have to be patient.” I didn’t saying or do anything, because it sounded absurd. Thankfully there was some followup, “You can draw from my patience. I have enough for you. You don’t need yours. You can use mine. Then, you won’t be so tired.”

I had to admit it sounded nice. It felt like freedom.

Category: Christianity, Integrating Spirituality, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth, Theology, Walking with God / Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The Christian Blogger’s Alchemy

lisacolondelay / April 5, 2012 / 7 comments
Guidance


Ray’s pastoral sensibilities and daily high-quality blog content make him one of my favorites. I’m so glad that he’s our guest contributor today. Ray has some wise words for us, so pay attention. (And BTW Ray, I only use 3 names as my pen name. There are at least two other Lisa DeLays out there, and I owe them the gift of not being associated with my shenanigans!)

Hey, friends, don’t miss other upcoming contributors in this Series. Get the feed burner  email delivery, or the RSS linkup.

The Christian Blogger’s Alchemy
-by Ray Hollenbach

About two years ago a well-known Christian contemporary singer came out as a lesbian. In a moment of what I mistook for inspiration, I wrote 700 words and hit the POST button on my blog. Overnight I received 20-times the page views I normally received. I woke up two days later with the blogger’s equivalent of hangover and the guilt from a one-night stand. My blog is supposed to be about spiritual formation: what did my opinions about someone else’s sexuality have to do with becoming a student of Jesus?

I had discovered Christian blogger’s alchemy: take a red-hot topic, add the name of a famous person (two famous people if you can), and add a sprinkle of holy Jesus words. Mix in Twitter and Facebook, then lean back and check Google Analytics hourly. It was a drunken, orgasmic blogger’s rush. What I didn’t know was that each page view clicked away a little bit of my soul. The new flood of traffic was the mess of pottage for which Esau sold his birthright.

It’s easy. In the past month you needed only write about Trayvon Martin, Mark Driscoll, Westboro Baptist Church, Obamacare in order to achieve mega-blogger status. Just check whatever is trending on Twitter or the Huffington Post, add a few borderline risqué words, a bit of righteous indignation, and heartfelt spirituality. “Heartfelt” is optional.

Lisa Colon Delay, the girl with three names, has given us a gift by starting this series, Spiritual Guidance for Bloggers. Sadly, Richard Foster and Dallas Willard were busy, so you’re stuck with me today. Here is my guidance:

It’s really about you: When we think we are discussing one topic, we are actually discussing another–ourselves. Blogging caters to the powerful urge for self disclosure. That’s why I throw away half of what I write. I’m too ugly, too mean-spirited for general consumption. I need to filter me. If I’m going to be honest, I should drive it home a little deeper: you need to filter you, too.

We would rather examine anyone else’s heart other than our own: Does it strike you odd that we can read one news item about a high-profile Christian celebrity and immediately have the ability to discern the intentions of their heart? This one is a bully, that one is a megalomaniac, and that other one must be called into account at all costs. I would give up my mighty blogging empire to read just one post where a blogger says, “Pastor Moneybags is a jerk, but why am I so upset about it?” Have you ever sent an email to the person you blogged about? How about sending a draft of your post to Pastor Moneybags and ask for his response? Would you be willing to wait for an answer? Deep down, we want others to understand our good intentions–why are we so quick to impugn the heart-intentions of others?

Criticism is easy, praise is hard: Let’s face it: there are plenty of easy targets out there. It says nothing about our marksmanship to shoot at something as big as barn ten feet in front of us. When we read “Love covers a multitude of sins,” have we ever applied Peter’s words to the other guy? Especially the church. Talk about an easy target. The church is filled with hypocrites and idiots. The church is enough to drive God himself crazy. Yet Jesus is passionately in love with the church. Why do we have grace for pagan terrorists and godless child molesters but cannot tolerate the fact that the church is filled with people just like us?

I could go on (I mean really, really go on), but here are a few mini-rants:

Page views don’t mean squat: At last count LMFAO’s Sexy and I Know It had 225 million page views.

The passage you should tape on your computer: Proverbs 10:19

Read Chapter Nine of C.S. Lewis’ Reflection on the Psalms: You can thank me later.

The Hollenbach Twitter commandment: RT others five times more than you promote your own blog.

Most Important: Read http://StudentsofJesus.com every day.

Bio:

Ray, a Chicagoan, writes about faith and culture. He currently lives in central Kentucky, which is filled with faith and culture. You can check out his work at studentsofjesus.com

Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Christianity, Community, Featured Guest Blogger, Humor, ministry, Spiritual growth, Spiritual practices, temptation, Work / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is Blogger Generosity? [And 7 Things Giving Does]

lisacolondelay / April 2, 2012 / 2 comments
Guidance

Gift

Photo Credit: asenat29 via Compfight

After the April Fool’s prank of telling our congregation that he and his wife were expecting a baby, our paster spoke on the topic of generosity.

I wasn’t fooled because I had previous insider information that “that ship had sailed,” as his wife once put it. So, you bet ‘cha…Mark’s no freighter. He’s strictly a Pleasure Cruiser now. 

He said there are 2 types of people in the word: Givers and Takers. Which one are you?

I thought about this. I thought, I sure hope I’m a giver, and not a jerky taker. 

Then I thought, Everyone must think this.

Then I thought, Hang on a minute, it just can’t be this binary. Sometimes, I give and sometimes I take. Hum. but which do I do more?…Then I felt hungry for barbecue. Whatever.

But, it’s a splendid thing to think about just in case we’re getting too grabby.

Mark said, these 7 things happen when we are givers–When we are generous people.

1. It creates community

2. It defeats materialism

3. It strengthens my fiath

4. It is an eternal investment

5. I get blessed in return

6. It produces contentment

7. It makes more like God (who’s incredibly generous)

Then, I thought, This is a good message for bloggers, too. Really, communicators of any kind. It’s time to get this to the blog.

We can forget this stuff about generosity. We can fail to make our lives, and our online lives generous, simply by not really thinking about it.

I’ve noticed that Jeff Goins is a blogger and writer who is a giver. He’s a big proponent of generosity in the blogging arena (it’s an “arena” right?). He walks the talk, and his blog and platform have truly reaped the rewards.

Who do you think is generous online?

Share your ideas about how we can be more giving online.

Carry out some generosity today. Ask yourself, “How will I be a giver?”

I’ll kick it off. Here’s a new way that I’m being more generous. I added 51 photos to Flikr. They are all free-use with attribution* (Creative Commons). Just click here. (Many more will be added.)

 

*To clarify what that means, it’s this: You are free and clear to use any image there, no charge, anywhere, if you give me credit (my full name and/or a link is fine) and don’t alter it, or make a profit from it. (Something like I did in this post with the gift picture.)

Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Christians, Community, Fruit of the Spirit, Humor, Spiritual growth, Spiritual practices, Spirituality / Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

When Prayer Time is a Bust (my recent dud)

lisacolondelay / March 29, 2012 / 2 comments
Guidance

All the ingredients were there for a splendid time of reflection, worship, and prayer. A beautiful unseasonably warm day, new blossoms, and a perfect metaphor for life: A Prayer Labyrinth.

It didn’t help.

I felt restless and distracted. Yes, I could appreciate the goodness surrounding me. I could also grasp the spiritual significance of the nearby metaphors and analogies. Yet, I didn’t have a time of felt connection with God. The word “dud” comes to mind. I didn’t get the experience I thought I would; and it all seemed ordinary and uninspired.

Here are some images I took during my time there. You have to admit, it was a delightful scene.

What this means:

Just a few thoughts…maybe you have some ideas too.

If God is a person (…is a Being, not just an impersonal Force, but rather has a personality, and is capable of relationship), then I really can’t expect God to follow a predictable formula like he is a math equation.

My other relationships function in a similar way. They aren’t clear cut and palpable. They are more opaque and protean. I wonder if God switches things up precisely so we don’t depersonalize him, (among other reasons, I’m sure).

In biblical narrative this rings true. The Hebrews are rescued by God in a different manner almost each time. Sometimes it was pitchers smashing that started the process, other times horns and shouting. Sometimes it was just typical military tactics.

I was okay with the fact that the spiritually nourishing experience I had at the Jesuit Retreat Center was nothing like my (seeming) dud of a prayer experience this time. In the past it might have felt like abandonment. I might have seconded guessed myself, or my God. I see the nuances now, perhaps. I can still believe God is there, and God is good, even when I don’t sense God’s presence. It would be the same way with a dear friend, or my spouse. If I had a blah sort of time with a friend, I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that the friendship didn’t exist. If I didn’t sense my husband was in the house, I wouldn’t assume we weren’t married.

When was a time when God didn’t show up when you thought God would?

Here’s a previous post explaining a prayer labyrinth. Have you ever used one?

Category: #4Bloggers, Bible, blogging, Christianity, Humor, Life As Prayer, Nature, Practicing the presence of God, Prayer, Prayer Follies, Scriptures, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth, Spiritual practices, Spirituality, Theology, Walking with God, Worship / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Ways Blogging is Like a Mistress (for a writer)

lisacolondelay / March 26, 2012 / No comments
Guidance


 

(click for photo attribution)

 

WARNING: The following contains dark humor.

I know something about mistresses. My dad had one.

As a writer, a blog can be just like a mistress for me. Here’s why:

1. Stroking. The instant gratification that comes from being heard with such ease (blogging) is the simple sticky honey trap for a person of words, like me.

2. Quick fix over Commitment? Sure, baby. Pounding out 80,000 words grows wearisome. Why not just pop out 800, for a quick fix? Sometimes, I ditch the old ball & chain writing project for a bit of Miss Right Now (blogging). Sometimes my dreams suffer for it.

3. On-the-fly modification. Meeting up with a mistress (my blog) can be exciting because not only can I be impetuous, but I can modify a lot to my liking whenever I please. I switch things up for added interest, or improvement.  But, ink on paper…I’m married to it.

4. Familiarity breeds contempt. There’s nothing like living with your words to make them frustrating and lack-luster. Months on end of book project writing can just kill the romance, and lead to self-loathing at my own impotence. However, a short, hot rendezvous (a few hours) is the most I spend on any post. Hey, blog, don’t let me catch you leaving your toothbrush here, or it’s sayonara.

5. Adventure! Weekend trysts to exotic spots? Yes, please! I don’t have to be an expert when blogging. I can cover exciting, far-flung topics with just a few hours of pesky research.

My dad married his mistress, eventually. He still fought with wife #1 (my mom) all the time–but with the new wife, it was a new life of eggshell walking and apologizing. He probably didn’t anticipate this at the mistress stage.

I don’t think I want the same thing in terms of my writing. I have to keep blogging in check. The words, “Get back, you vile temptress!” comes to mind, until I realize that this would make it sound like it wasn’t my fault. But, it is.

Has your blog ever been like a “mistress” for you? In what ways?

And please share your insights.
What helps you stay on track with longer writing projects?

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Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Creativity, Humor, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth / Tags: , , , , , , ,

My son’s Sudden Onset Atheism Takes an Unexpected Turn

lisacolondelay / March 23, 2012 / 7 comments

This is an update sort of post.

It’s been many months since I covered this topic, and for a long time things stayed very much the same with my now 12 year old autistic son being a very firm atheist for over a year.

I was committed to see through Nathan’s spiritual journey without pressuring him to believe what I wanted him to. Because I personally have spent so much of my life dedicated to learning about and loving God, this took iron patience and a new kind of faith. Respecting Nathan’s feelings about God and giving him time to wrestle with the concepts lead to a surprising outcome.

For some needed background, I recommend these two previous posts that set the stage for where we are as I have covered this fascinating journey: 

God: “The Unbelievable Story” (1st Interview with Nathan)

Juvenile Atheism, and Bunny Studies. (a profound update)

(A few more can be found by clicking the Sudden Onset Juvenile Atheism category, or doing a search with those words.)
 Now onto the update.

Progress was encouraged by an unlikely source. Many people believe that God (Yahweh) has been erased from public school. This is true in many ways. My son’s social studies textbooks, for instance, never use a capital “G” when using the word God, or any deity. For instance, “People called the Pilgrims came to the New World to worship their god.” [Yes. We live it pluralistic times.]

The truth is, though we may erect boundaries, God has no boundaries. God works in ways we don’t expect, whenever it pleases him to. Sometimes we have to resist the urge to “hold God’s hand” as he works things out. Who then, I wonder, has a problem with faith? The questioning atheist or the anxious Christian?

It was my hope and prayer that God would reveal himself to Nathan and draw Nathan to himself. Then I just had to wait, encourage the searching, and remain peaceful about the rest.

It all started with Social Studies. As Nathan studied world civilizations, he noticed that these were the same people groups spoken of in the Bible. The Egyptians, the Hebrews, the Babylonians, the Assyrians–each one of these groups is recorded in the narratives of the Bible. He learned how all the groups were poly-theistic, and the Hebrews were mono-theistic. In his autistic support class he watched the Dreamworks animated movie The Prince of Egypt (which is rather loose with it’s historicity, I realize). Suddenly the story clicked. What he heard only at church, he also heard at school. This vetted the story for him as actual, rather than “a made up fairy tale and untrue story” as he had previously thought.

Since this realization, Nathan has been more receptive to going to church, listening and sometimes answering questions in Sunday School (we have kept him with us in an adult level class), and singing. He doesn’t lash out in anger when we speak of things of God at home. He’s willing to be content as we pray at meals. His attitude has shifted. People at our church have reached out to Nathan and showed him great kindness and grace. Those relationships have been a boon.

Nathan loves the music at church, and hearing his sweet, pitchy little voice is a precious thing. It’s reminder that his story, and my story are not over. God with us is a work in progress.

Recently, when I thought he was ready to talk about it, I said, “Nathan, I noticed you are singing in church. How do you feel about God now?”

Softly, he said, “Well, I think it’s true. I believe in God now.”

“Did you learn about the Hebrews in school, like you did at church?” I asked.

“Yes. The Egyptians were real, and they had slaves,” he told me.

The story isn’t over. I don’t feel like Nathan has arrived somehow, but now his journey has new hope and new possibilities. He still needs to be nurtured spiritually. Don’t we all? He needs us to model God ways to him, the Fruit of the Spirit. He has never wanted to pray, and my hope is that he finds the comfort that comes with talking to God.

The invisible, but real, is a challenging concept for many of us, and Nathan’s very concrete ways of understanding the world–because of his autism–make it all the more important to be Jesus to him so that the reality of God is experience and learned in regular life. He’s not so different after all.

Who has best modeled God for you?

Category: atheism, autism, Christ, Christianity, Christians, disability, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth, Sudden Onset Juvenile Atheism, Theology, theology of disability, worldviews, Worship / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I am a Hypocrite: My Spiritual Guidance for Bloggers [Thom Turner]

lisacolondelay / March 22, 2012 / No comments
Guidance

Today’s contribution is from Thom Turner.

I’m a big fan of his blog Everyday Liturgy. If you ever don’t know what to pray, rely on others, and pray with the help of their words. His blog is a great way to find the words to say. There’s a lot more to Thom, too, so drop by and check him out.

I am a Hypocrite: My Spiritual Guidance for Bloggers
-Thom Turner 

Like most arguments between married couples, I forget what this one was about.

I know I was probably being impatient, angry and saying not so nice words.

I was most likely being what British people refer to as a prig.

My wife won the day though. She sounded off a rejoinder that stung: “You know sometimes I wish you were like the person who writes on your blog.”

Ouch.

I am a blogger who has spent over five years writing about spirituality, theology and worship.

I am also a hypocrite.

Read the rest of Thom’s article here:

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Category: #4Bloggers, Authors, blogging, Christianity, Christians, Community, Spiritual Formation, Spiritual growth / Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
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