Lisa Colón DeLay

Once a week for the next 2 months I will be covering the topic of discernment. We’ll learn how to discern much better!

I can hardly think of a theme that comes up more often than “trying to find our way”.

Especially for those of us who create or try to be intentional and grow.

Some think of discernment as “finding God’s will”, some as “knowing with path to take at a fork in the road”, some as “discovering or actualizing one’s calling”, and some think of it as learning to be better and more consistently attuned to God’s voice.

Many don’t realize that about 500 years ago a very keen and practical guide to discernment was created to teach Christians and Christian leaders how to discern the voice of God. Through the practice of these Spiritual Exercises (Ignatius of Loyola), we can be guided with far less angst and far greater freedom and peace as we choose our way and listen for God’s voice.

Millions of believers have undertaken learning and applying these sage writings on the topic, and consequently have better allowed the Holy Spirit to guide their life. Others find great solace in participating in Ignatian retreats. The spirituality influenced by Ignatian involves “find God in all things” and “laboring with God in the divine project of healing the world”. Prayer and action are combined as the spiritual muscles of experiencing God’s abundant love and hearing his voice develop.

Since basic theology tells us that God is everywhere present.  (Of course, whether we actually live this out as we believe it is antoher matter.)

Like King David tells us of God in his poetry, there is no place God is not. Psalm 139.

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave,^a you are there.

The study and exercise of Ignatian principles to improve the abilities of discernment involve the intellect, emotion, memory, and will.

I’ll be sharing those ways and methods here regularly to help you become categorically better at discernment.
Starting now:

What is the first exercise in learning discernment?
Preparing the “soil of one’s heart”.

Imagine that you’ve never run more than a few blocks in your entire lifetime. And maybe when you did it was just to avoid getting bitten by a dog or to catch the ice cream truck. How easy would it be to get up out of bed one early Saturday morning and complete a marathon without ever training your body?  (What is it 26 point something miles? UGH.)

OUCH. . .would be the key word. Oh, and failure.

Beneficial and godly discernment requires that your heart and mind do some prep work too. Some inventory and reflection is needed. Some opening of our will to God. Some asking God to make you ready to hear his voice, change and work on your heart and mind, and improve your hearing (mainly, but not just the spiritual kind).

Start with these few questions:

Focus in on the area that requires discernment then ask,
1. What have I done in the past?

2. What am I doing now?

3. What ought I to do in the future OR What do I hope for the future?

Try to be as specific as possible with your answers. Write them down, pray about them, and revisit them later.
This is no easy sledding and it helps to have a companion along the way.

More on discernment next week!

For more information about help with discernment in your life click here.

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Do you know anyone who’s struggling right now or at a crossroads? Would you please tell them about this Series?

Will you pray for me? I’m learning discernment too.
And please don’t leave without sharing something that I can pray about for you.

One of the most common responses people have when they get fed up with the re-runs of living their own small show is that they try to flip to a different channel. That is, they somehow realize a kind of radical change in life is necessary, so they try to re-make themselves.

Perhaps they start a new relationship, change careers, adopt a baby, buy a vehicle or expensive toy, go back to school, get plastic surgery, switch churches, move away, or in some way try to live out a better story. You’ve probably tried it, I know I have.

Maybe a person gets into religion, or he gets away from it. Maybe they start to need anti-depressants or anti-anxeity medication. Some abuse substances or live more dangerously. Something just seems wrong–and one tries to fix it.

Plenty of the time, these efforts do bring some distraction and change, and therefore a certain kind of freedom or renewal is felt (at least for a bit); but down deep, nothing important has changed at all. After a little while, the person still feels frustrated or undone. (Or something else unpleasant.) The channel may have changed, but what is lived out is just a Spin-off of “The Show About Me”. Sadly, very few fully realize that their perceptive, and how they live out reality, is fairly the same even after a massive change. The same troubles will assail them, in some way. However, the baggage gets heavier.

Our Creator is the true center of the Show (not us). The Supreme Being is irresistibly calling out, wooing us, and our thirst deepens.

It’s a fact that when a person is too dehydrated they may actually stop craving what they truly need-water/hydration and replenishment of nutrients. They may feel tired, ill, hungry, or numb, instead of thirsty. In an ironic twist, the person doesn’t desire what will make them healthy again. It’s a perilous situation. Without help, people die this way.

This kind of confusion happens spiritually too. Often, in fact. A common (household) term often used for what turns out to be a spiritual problem like this is most often called a “midlife crisis” or sometimes an “identity crisis.” It’s common for people to get a point where they need to “find themselves,” or re-define themselves, sometimes multiple times throughout one’s life. This “want to” to change is healthy, though many times misread. An identity shift like this may happen once or several times in one’s life where a person tries hard to better one’s circumstances, and find relief.

If you haven’t enter a stage like this yourself, I’m sure you can think of someone who has. For instance, in the last 18 months seven marriages at our church have spun out of control or failed. I believe a misunderstanding of this spiritual opportunity is a big reason why.

What must happen to be truly free, and on a full path to growth? Something more like a walk has to happen rather than a small show we create. A walk with God and changing one’s perspective to surrender to God and “his” Big Show (the authentic one “Reality”) is a path few take, or attempt for all that long. It just isn’t a simple or smooth road. It is a mysterious, sometimes troubling one, where the answers are rarely simple or pat. This is the path of faith (believing in what you can’t see, but still know is quite real). Sometimes changing the channel, multiple times, seems like the only sensible thing to do. The negative part is that we only get more of the same when we do that. It’s still our story we want to control, and our story stays small and frustrating.

As many who have done the enormous personal work to recover from drugs or alcohol can attest, one usually has to hit “rock bottom,” (or be fully ready), before surrender to a new, and bigger Show occurs (a life centered in God’s Reality). It all starts by doing something very rare and counter-intuitive. It’s something we all fear: Losing control and Humbly yielding to the Higher Power, and admitting that without grace, and true dependence on God and others, a better way cannot be possible. Perhaps the scripture comes to mind, …”if you try to save your life, you’ll lose it. But if you lose your life (yourself) for my sake, you will find it…”

In contrast, we wish to be self-made.… yet, only a small show about “me” is self-made. Transformation, growth, and sturdy happiness (joy) comes instead through the bravery of surrender to the greater Reality, and taking the more treacherous but rewarding path that comes with this decision.

In part III installment on this topic, I’ll mention some things that happen once this pivotal choice is made. A person’s attitude and outlook change; and how one orders one’s life undergoes critical and unavoidable development with radical shifts in thinking, acting, and relating to others–for the better! We’re talking here about spiritual formation.

I’ll describe that a bit more, soon, in part III. Check back in the next few days and see.

This is a lot to chew on, especially if this is a new concept, and you’ve never encountered these ideas before. Some people call it “being born again”…. and in a real sense, a new life starts for the person who is ready: A whole new life begins.

…to be continued…

Reflections questions:

Have I been living my own small story?

Have I longed for a richer life, but have really only being encountering re-runs or spin offs of a short-changed Show?

What is stopping me from walking a new life?

What are your responses, insights, or thoughts on this topic?