curiosity Archives - Lisa Colón DeLay | Spark My Muse

Eps: 83 Ryan J. Bell and Life After God

Welcome to Spark My Muse!

DETAILS:
• Each FRIDAY, guests join me in a conversation.
• Come back each Wednesday
(on “Hump Day” aka Midweek) for a brief Soul School “lesson”–something for your interior world and common life.

WILL YOU HELP ME?

Would you give $5, $10, or $20, today to support the program?
It’s quick and easy and will make me smile.

SHOW NOTES:

Today, my guest is a follow podcaster and blogger Ryan J. Bell. Ryan came into some notoriety when he, as a Seventh Day Adventist Pastor, decided to blog about living a year without God and he gained a large following as a columnist on Huffington Press as well. What happened next and what he’s up to now makes for an interesting story. Listen in.

AUDIO PLAYER:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 55:58 — 76.9MB) | Embed

Subscribe to Spark My Muse Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | TuneIn | RSS | Subscribe to Spark My Muse

MIN 1:00
Ryan’s blog: yearwithoutgod.com (The Blog)

A year without God at patheos.com

The PODCAST: lifeaftergod.org

About Ryan’s religious background, education, and pastoral experience.

humanities studies

7th Day Adventist explained in brief

Restorationist movement mid 19th Century

some Methodist and Deist roots.

• Stone Campbell

• Churches of Christ (similar off shoot)

prophetic interpretation and end times predictions

lost truths that mainstream Christianity left behind.

MIN 6:00

He started reading theology that differed from the framework he came from. It was less restrictive and exclusive toward others.

9:00

Atheism and the blog “A Year Without God” started in January 2013

9 month break,

Spiritual but not religious, American, individualism version of spiritual experience: “Everybody is having their own private isolated experience of wonder.”

Religion for Atheists – Alain de Botton

He submitted his idea of “middle space–between belief and non belief” for the Huffington Post Religion Page and it was very popular.

15:00

People approached him because they didn’t have anyone to talk to about their doubts and questions.

Space for dark spots of doubt.

19:00

Do you hang on to any spiritual practices or vestiges of your old life?

Coming to a centered place in the now and in focused and non judgmental way and noticing feelings.

22:00

What have you done with “The Big Other” and the baggage from your upbringing?

Do you have gratitude toward the Big Other, or how is it expressed?

Not locating a destination for his gratitude.

26:00

Morality of an atheist. Being good for goodness sake.

A bottom up thinker

27:00

Draw to Judaism because it had created a theology around a community not a community out of a theology.

Judaism: Built around love, work, sex, food–the whole life lived.

Norms and wrong & right

29:00

Why he started the Life After God podcast

The response to the question:

“How do we community, both online and in person, in both groups and one-on-one, ….to help people around their changing viewpoints.”

Dealing with the challenges and life issues after a life where people stop believing in God.

32:30

A community of revolt coheres poorly. -Lisa

Atheists that move into Humanism (a secular moral philosophy to guide life)

35:00

• Jennifer Michael Hecht – A LOVE FEST SEGMENT-

Jennifer’s episode on Spark My Muse:

Poetic Atheism (as opposed to what Ryan called “Vulcan Atheism” -a logical-focused (MR. SPOCK from Star Trek) approach to the world)

Denying our humanity by letting beauty shape our decisions at times.

When we deny those things that give us beauty and awe, we are repressing, fighting or resisting the idea that we are deeply emotional creatures.

DOUBT (the book)

40:00

Aeon.com What is “soul” – emotional seat in our brains.

Religious words and language. Words can hold larger meanings.

Tad DeLay (Our conversation)

Outside of religious contexts:
• Soul – can mean awareness

• Spiritual – can mean aliveness -Lisa

Part of the human experience is beyond words so we have to use what we have available in bigger ways. -Lisa

Jennifer gives permission to have a deeper (and more artistic) appreciation and ways for living.

43:00

Life After God- the Ex-files

We are storytelling creatures and isolation is dangerous for people.

Post religious and post-theistic communities and progressive communities have a exciting times ahead.

Greta Vesper (episode link)

Sunday Assembly and Oasis meet up.

We need to be challenged and comforted regularly.

47:30

Curiosity about life and learning

49:30

Asking questions

Power systems (or any one who’s trying to sell something) have something to lose if you ask questions because threats to disturb the status quo.

51:00

lifeaftergod.org

Brian Peck

My Life After God – Insta-journalism

54:00

Trying to understand why atheism is attractive to people and why people lose their faith/belief

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!
I have a slew of diverse voices on Spark My Muse. Hear more below!

Pick the best option below!

Eps 64: TWIN-CASTING with Minimalist, Jeff Sandquist who Returns with a Surprising Story

Today, is a special TWIN-cast. I’ve NEVER done this before and I’m excited!
Brace yourself for this news:
Not only do I have Jeff on as a return guest today, but Jeff interviewed ME. That conversation is released today too. What a treat, right?

Find a link for that below at the end of the show notes.

DON’T FORGET about the Special 1-hour SOUL SCHOOL LIVE Event– this Wednesday, June 8th (2016) at 8pm, EDT.
GET MORE INFO info here.

(If you’d like to share a piece of audio from this episode, click the red and white icon below.)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:10 — 70.3MB) | Embed

Subscribe to Spark My Muse Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Email | TuneIn | RSS | Subscribe to Spark My Muse

SHOW NOTES:

(Click to hear the previous Spark My Muse podcast episode with Jeff. March 2016.)

MIN 2:00
The significant birthday this year that changed Jeff’s life and why.

Does losing a parent at a young age change how you live?

MIN 12:00
Trying to be perfect. Trying to control and conquer life and death.

MIN 14:30
The common pain of loss in death and loss of the attachments.

MIN 19:30
Prioritizing relationships and experiences over goals, achievements, grades, and materials things.

MIN 23:00
Was minimalism coming to a place of healing from consumerism that came from loss?

Being curious.

MIN 27:00
DEATH SALON episode

• Does grief, loss, and death inform how Jeff lives and how does it?

Death: Not fear based motivator, but a passion-based motivator.

“The Obstacle is the Way” Ryan Holiday

“Behind every mountain is another mountain.”

Mortality is a time limit makes you efficient and have a better perspective.

MIN 33:00

“[ictt-tweet-inline via=””][/ictt-tweet-inline]What do you want to exchange your time [your life] for?”

MIN 35:00

What do you want to share and where do you want to go from here.

The Episode with his “rock-star” mom.

Grit and gratitude.

MIN 44:30
Jeff’s funk

MIN 48:30
[ictt-tweet-inline via=””]BE CURIOUS![/ictt-tweet-inline]

Find out what Jeff asks me on his podcast HERE.

Thanks for listening.

For just a scanty dollar you get get extra episodes, access to exclusive special events, online conversations and Q & As with me and other guests, and get to collaborate and decide things for the show like future guests, topics, swag, and lots more.

This show is listener-support and cannot last without your generous help. JUST CLICK HERE!

Ready for more?
SUBSCRIBE! New episodes come out TWICE per week.
And poke around. There’s lots to read and listen to.

Encountering your own loneliness

Managing a wine tasting room is a great job for a writer because, when it’s not too busy, you can become a kind of social scientist: observing people and trying to see why humans do what we do.

You can even allow your curiosity to navigate some of the deeper questions about the human experience.

One recent observation:
The “poison apple” of the smart phone has changed how we do things alone–eating, drinking, or traveling, in particular.

FACT: People rarely come to taste wine by themselves (at our place).

That may seem obvious. Wine tends to bring people together, right? Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised that people only rarely come alone.

But it IS strange.

Think about it like this:
Shopping for food or clothes alone isn’t considered weird and people tasting wine are really just shopping for wine.

The only difference perhaps are presumptions, previous experiences, or maybe subterranean social exceptions.

• Feeling low…solo

When people visit the tasting room alone, I can usually sense their social discomfort. They might suddenly offer me a reason why they are alone this time or they might neurotically use their phone to look busy or connected.

The alternative, of course, would be to interact with and absorb the environment they are truly in or look for ways to subvert social fear through some modicum of meaningful interaction: friendliness, conversation, inquisitiveness, for starters. So terrifying is the prospect of looking lonely at a winery, that many solo customers barely experience it at all.

• Confronting fear

This observation got me to thinking of ways I try to numb or avoid these fears or points of discomfort in myself and in my life. What am I missing that I shouldn’t be. The default is to use technology to connect, but at what cost?

When I interviewed Rolf Potts, famed travel-writer and best-selling author, he talked about his own wrestling with the seduction of “not being where he was” by engaging with technology. One of the most memorable things he said was this:

“When you travel alone you are forced to confront your own loneliness and boredom, and interact with your surroundings in ways you can’t [when you’re] with a companion.”

We miss our chances for new experiences with the advent of constant so-called “connectedness”, don’t we?

The habit forms quickly. Only thoughtfulness will heal this malady.

(Here’s the video. He covers that bit around min 2:40.)

Do you question how you use technology and confront what it might be stealing from you?

Encountering our loneliness more deeply could create epiphanic moments of self-discovery and new insights into what we fear and what makes us each unique.

Maybe it’s time to do something alone to test your social fears, deepen your healthy sense of self, and develop a new sense of social, and even spiritual, courage and strength.

Maybe leave your phone is the car for the 30 min you shop, eat out, or exercise. Good things could happen.

If you like what you’ve read, consider getting my in-depth but consice weekly correspondence, starting soon.
Learn about it here.

Find the Surprise!

Photo Credit: Bruce Denis via Compfight

As a kid I loved cracker jacks. It wasn’t for the coated popcorn, it was for the experience of finding a surprise. I hunted down the peanuts and the toy surprise straightaway. My hands would get sticky scrounging toward the bottom of the box, but it was worth the effort–even if the humidity made the box soft and the popcorn a untied front against me. The real jackpot was when I scored some water-based sailor tattoos. An anchor or a heart that read “mom” and had an arrow shot through it.

Inspiration and Creativity have a lot to do with finding the “toy inside the moment”. Locating the surprise. We get lazy about this sometimes. We stop looking. Don’t we?

Here are 5 ways to disrupt the ordinary to find the surprise at the bottom of the box you’re in right now.

1. Eagle’s eye – worm’s eye.
What did this look like from somewhere else? Change your perspective, maybe even your actual physical perspective. If you still can’t tell, ask around.

2. Kiddie Ride it.
How might a child approach the situation in terms of curiosity, wonder, or even naiveté? You’re familiarity with your situation may be too stifling to find surprises. A breakthrough can come when we treasure hunt for wonder. And by the way, cynicism kills wonder.

3. Stew it.
Have you noticed how some things come to their fullest potential after they mull or stew for a while? This applies to more than food. Try a slow cooker approach: First write down your concerns and obstacles, and then fully set aside your situation or dilemma for 2 or 3 days. Give your unconscious mind time to simmer on things. Rest, work on something new, and absorb beauty in art or nature. Then, encounter your situation again nice and fresh. Jot out your new ideas before you get out your list, and then you’ll uncover some surprises. It’s like shaking the box to get the goodies to shift.

4. Play
When was the last time you were lost in joy? Let yourself really enjoy something for the fun of it without worry. Something simple, like when you were young and carefree. Cease the day and suck the marrow out of life. It could be the mental break you truly need to find the primo surprise.

5. Shhh
Are you pulled in a bunch of different directions? Media, relationships, obligations, work, projects, and commitments can make finding the good surprises all but impossible. Unplug. Turn down the “life noise” for several uninterrupted hours. You’ll start to feel human again, and that’s important. You can’t discover surprises in a mosh pit atmosphere, right?

What was the last thing that surprised you in a good way?