Lisa Colón DeLay

This weekend I’m the spiritual director at the Renew & Refine Writer’s Retreat.

So many times as writers or creatives we fail to integrate Soul Care into ordinary life. This has a burnout or burn up effect. Eventually, we end up hurting not only ourselves but those close to us. Even worse we often end up damaging our ongoing work–our vocation (what we are called and gifted  to do). Vocation is the very thing that makes life so meaningful and rewarding. God’s wishes for us to be uniquely us and working and being in a way that is life-giving to ourselves and others.

This is why a “Rule of Life” or regular rhythm of self care and God-awareness is vital. It’s not complicated but it’s so very necessary.

Jesus, in discipling his followers, said it this way:

Matthew 11:29

Becoming a disciple refers to training–to process. The process of this life-giving training leads us to more abundant life. It’s not binary: all good or all bad. Dead end or open vista. It’s a bit of both and really a pilgrimage. Getting on with it is helped when we take up better habits that give us more breathing room and vitality, just like learning to pack a suitable backpack makes hiking and camping better.

Some habits may involve integrating certain spiritual practices like morning prayer, meditating on Scripture, fellowing, unplugging from technology, observing a sabbath rest, to name a few. Many refreshing options exist. Only by being habitual can we truly reap the benefits. This is actually the real meaning of the word “religion”. Religion simply means “bind”…it’s the fiber or tether that helps us hold on to a sweeter and richer life. (Of course, the word has been spoiled and perverted in every which way, and some reject using outright because of all the baggage that comes along with it. Yet, in its simplest form “religion” refers to how we stay grounded and become our most fully human selves, if we don’t make our tether a noose or shackle instead!)

To be sure, this stuff of routines and habits is hard for me because I tend to do a whole bunch of things and once and push soul care to the side as “least urgent”. Too often I forget that just like I need food every day, I also need to care for my Soul (my whole integrated self).

The following are some great tools I’ve found quite helpful as spiritually enriching resources for devotional practices and learning how to have a deeper walk with God: Creator, Jesus, and Spirit.

Pick one that looks good to you, and get started.

Handbooks

Refreshing Devotionals (quick reads)

On soul Care

Regaining yourself – Prayer of the Heart

Name Your Link

29 DAYS!

That’s all the time that’s left until a retreat I’m really excited to be a part of!

The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers is a very special weekend that mixes fellowship, community, expert writing insights, and an enriching spiritual experience. Ed Cyzewski and Kristin Tennant have put their heads together to create something important and lovely that will give you perspective and space to find refreshment and inspiration unlike any typical writing conference can. Let’s face it, you need this!

Whether you’re a seasoned writer who’d like some sacred space to learn, grow, and rejuvenate, or you are a part-time or aspiring writer who’d like to pursue a deeper calling, meet other writers, and hear from seasoned pros, this retreat will be a boon!

I’m personally extra excited that the beauty of nature, time for laughter, relationship building, super yummy, specially-cooked family style meals, and time for personal reflection or solitude is built-in from the onset. Some have even called this the retreat keeps the introvert in mind! (But I assure you extroverts, like me, will love it too.)

Breathe a sigh of relief! Instead, of just getting bombarded with great info or squeezing in networking between workshop breaks, this time (May 24-26) will have space built-in for you to connect, learn, and enjoy relaxation and times of quiet too. Heaven? Maybe.

We’ll be at the Trinity Lodge. An interior picture is shown here…Looks cozy, huh?

If you’d like to save $25, see if you can spot the secret promo code word in this blog. I left some clues.

(Psst. If you figure it out, you can share it.) See you soon!

Sign up or learn more about the weekend here!

(Oh, one more thing! Did you already sign up to go? Or do want some extra awesome?

If you spot promo code and you are the first share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RRforwriters I’ll have a special care package for you when I see you there, May 24th.)

Here is the next installment in the January and February Discernment Series. (Click the discernment tags for the other articles.)

We are a few days into Lent, a season widely observed by Christians worldwide for the forty days leading up to Resurrection Sunday (Easter). So, today, I’m tailoring the discernment series to reflect this season specifically.

Characteristically, this a time of renewed devotion and spiritual regeneration. A time of refinement and becoming better aware of our sins that the joy and glory of the risen God-man, Jesus, from the dead and that victory over sin and death is full blown and made manifest within us. It’s potentially a most transformative time.

The period that works it’s way up to the “Superbowl of Christianity” (…Easter that is…) which has been lost among many Christians during modern times and not the least in North America. We live in abundance and forget our poverty….of soul.

Sadly, sometimes this season is reduced to the question, “What are you giving up for lent?” For some it’s a lunchtime meal, or other it’s sweets, for others it’s a cherished activity or luxury, and so on. This sort of reduction can guts the richness fasting can bring. The spiritual gains and insights. Fasting is not about doing without. It’s merely a method to help look within.

You can pray without fasting, but fasting without prayer forgets the whole point of the fast. Fasting is not simply refraining from eating something. It’s not some act of anorexia. It’s a purifying spiritual exercise because it questions are most powerful desires and purifies our intentions and attachments by removing or reducing something we need for life…food…in order to see things differently. We bring these things that surface during our fast before God in prayer. We repent. We start over, refreshed.

A FEW CAUTIONS:

1. Be careful to not ever view fasting, or do fasting, as a way to force God’s hand or suffer in order to get something you need or want. This is manipulation, plain and simple, and rather immature spiritual endeavor.

2. Fasting doesn’t serve the point of getting spiritual brownie points. So, if you enter into a period of fasting, please bear that in mind. We are saved by God’s grace, not the things we do. We please him out of love not to get him to love us more. (His love for us in unchanging.)

3. If you haven’t given up food in a fast before, be very moderate with regards to food. Some people go overboard and this serves as a big distraction. Only skip one meal, for instance. And do the research and preparation needed to insure do don’t run into trouble with your health, or otherwise.

4. During the time you fast, when you feel physical discomfort (hunger) pray, read scripture, or worship. Guard against the seduction to self-righteousness that can happen when you do something challenging, or a have spiritual victory. Jesus warns his followers to not parade around and make a big deal while fasting. This is between you and God.

If you haven’t ever fasted, I encourage you to encounter it this year, at least to a degree. If you haven’t started yet, go ahead and refrain from something, for the next forty days, even if it’s not food. See if it opens your eyes anew.

If you’d like, please use the voicemail button on the right to leave your questions, concerns, or comments about lent or fasting. I’d love to hear what you’re doing this season, or the challenges you’re facing.

On Friday, I’ll post PART II for Lent, Fasting, and Discernment…

I’ll try to answer your questions and reveal a bit more how discernment may be enhanced by fasting.

Advent Season is often marked by efforts of fasting to help refine our focus on the things of God. It’s funny (not funny -ha ha) that in the Sermon on the Mt Jesus brings all of kingdom living, for God’s children down to 3 main things: Giving, Fasting, and Prayer.

We’re okay with prayer. That’s totally legit. Giving? Yes. Giving makes sense. Ya gotta help people….but wait….FASTING!? Stop eating FOOD? whoa. That could be uncomfortable.

Here’s the part to bear in mind that our stomachs growl if we don’t get food for a few hours. In Jesus’ time, and in many parts of the world today, usually folks get by on one meal a day. Now that hurts!

True spiritual fasting from food isn’t not something to just up and do, if you haven’t learned how to do it. It’s not just, “Hey, I think I’ll ditch food for a couple of days.” When you have a spiritual fast and abstain from food, stuff happens. Richard Foster wrote,

Anger, bitterness, jealousy, strife, fear-if they are within us, they will surface during fasting. (This benefits us because with these things revealed, they can also be addressed.)

 

In short: Fasting can get ugly.

It’s no wonder we conveniently ignore that part of Jesus’ teachings.

Basically, if you have fantasized about bacon much, then fasting could be hard for you. I speak from experience.

HERE’s a quick read that will teach you a few important basics, for you 3 meal per day + snack people…like me.

Here’s a spiritual formation classic that is very helpful for fasting and much more.

You might not be ready for fast from food. I’ll be honest, I’m not.

I’m going to try to fast from 1 meal for 1 one day per week, for each week in Advent, until Christmas. But, I’m used to eating what I want, when I want, so I’ll have to prepare.

But these are a few things I’ll do in the same spirit of a food fast.

(They may sound stupid to you, so see if you can make your own list.)

1. Not check my blog stats: It’s addicting to see if my efforts in social media and blogging have a positive statistical effect. It’s distracting too, and I’ll venture that it can even be spiritually damaging. For Advent season, I’ll take a needed break from this, and see if it’s helpful.
2. Not have the last word: It’s necessary purification to not “control” the conversation, or feel the need to. I’ll give this up and see if it reveals other needs or wounded spots. Hello, introspection.
3. Not respond quickly to defend myself: This is tougher online than face-to-face, for me. Misunderstandings are par for the course on them there interwebs. Attacks online are prevalent too. I’ll give this up because I need no defender but God. I forget this.
4. Not let things be more important than people: I want to fast from pounding away at the computer when I could be talking with someone face-to-face. Particularly my kids.
5. Not rely on tech: I want to totally unplug for one day per week. No phone. No computer. No tv. No iPod. No Radio. This will be refining because taking it off the table will force me to more properly re-prioritize…everything.

Today, something very different. A tribute to bacon.

It’s a collection of bacon dishes from various U.S. cities.

Enjoy. Direct link to graphic: 

(Must be a dog blog. hum. Could this just be a kitty laughing, or must it be a freak out?)

In a previous post, I promised I would review some blogs and give a report on my favorites.

First, bear in mind that I read probably 20-30 blogs regularly, and others occasionally. For this reason, I won’t cover all of the ones I like, today. Now, don’t feel offended if yours, or one you dig, didn’t make it in. Instead, submit links of up to 3 of your favorite blogs in the comments, and we’ll visit them. I’ll consider them in a future “Blogs I Like” blog in January.

Also, I won’t cover blogs from super well-known people (think: kickin’ Alexa Rating), especially if I’ve already mentioned them in past posts.

Here are some new blogs I’ve started reading quite recently because of reader recommendations, or other connections:

Students of Jesus: Taking the Yoke of Discipleship Ray Hollenbach’s blog has a rich meditative vibe. Good content and thoughtful.

Teh=The Warwick Fuller is a bookish, 25% hipster, and an active dad and husband, who pens some worthwhile stuff. He’s fairly random with his topics, but I’m a fan. I also have a personal preference for his “Nana Stories” which are offbeat and charming.

Between the Sheets: A Novelist’s Adventures Heather Webb’s blog post are often delicious. Although I wish she posted more often, when she does she will often include amazing recipes.

Telling Stories Courtney Walsh is a scrappy author and scrapbooker whose site is awash in great visuals (photos, art, etc.), plus stories, and stuff on food, parenting, domestic diva/homemaking themes, rural life, and such. Likable!

Mom to 5: Full Time Mom, Part Time Sanity Sherri Jason has a great sense of humor, and she needs to, she’s be pregnant for years (if you add it all up). This reproductive quality is sort of a family tradition. Her sister Ginny also has 5 kids, and does guest posts on some Fridays, called Funny Farm Fridays. The antics of busy family life abound here, and many a busy parent can relate, or just be contented to know they don’t and won’t have enough children for a basketball team.

Awake My Soul Laura Crosby’s blog is insightful, honest, and nicely written. It’s a fairly recent venture (Feb 2011), but her welcome page made me realize that we’ve had the same sorts of thoughts about bloggers and blogging. So far, so good, Laura!

5 Personal Favorites:
Blogs and Bloggers for whom I make time to read…who are also not in the category of  ”widely famed”…yet.

These authors post with predictability (most of the time) and have high quality content. Two musts for me to be a loyalist. (Yes, the list ought to be much longer, but I’m setting myself a limit…5….because I’m told this is healthy behavior.)

Ed Cyzewski Blog - In a Mirror Dimly is one of those blogs that is just consistently top notch. Ed posts frequently, and his installments can deepen your thinking, encourage you, and offer great insights. He focuses on spiritual things, practical theology, and writing. He’ll also write on other things he likes, gardening/canning, the outdoors, and rabbits.

Caleb Wilde‘s blog Confessions of a Funeral Director: Working At the Crossroads of This World and the Next might sound, well…dark and morbid, at first blush. Death is after all macabre. What is surprising and winsome about this blog is that Caleb offers hope, as a matter of course. His unique insights on living and yes, dying, are worth the read.

Christopher Cocca: Chris is funny, quirky, and interesting–all stuff I like. He’s sort of a hippie, too, in a nice way. This makes me feel young and “with it”. I’m hooked. Another great thing about Chris is that he’s generous, and regularly shares the love by promoting other writers.

Thom Turner Writer, editor (for GENERATE magazine), poet, and soulful guy, Thom has a blog called Everyday Liturgy. It’s a perfect read for a short and potent spiritual shot in your day. Lately he’s also been blogging about Food and Christian ethics. A weird mix, you say? Maybe, but it gets you thinking. And think you should. (sorry..got a wee bit yoda on ya’ll) I’m looking forward to Thom’s prayer book project as well.

Brett McCracken This hipster-esque writer is under-rated. Though he’s written for some big outfits The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, CNN.com, The Princeton Theological Review, Mediascape, Books & Culture, and Christianity Today, to name a few, plus a very enjoyable book…

…I get the sense that he’s not receiving the props or reader traffic he truly deserves at his Still Searching blog. It’s like a “best kept secret” type of thing. Well, not on my watch, peoples. Not. On. My. Watch. Brett writes about culture, film, art, books, and stuff you’d expect to overhear at a college coffeehouse, if erudite students were hanging out…ya know, chillaxin’ and sh–tuff (Whoops, no one says chillaxin‘. It’s long “over,” dudes.) So. Right. Brett is pensive and interesting.

Who did I miss?

Doing Church

Did you know that Church and Relationship are synonyms?

This Thursday was the second week in a row that we had a friend come to play with Nathan. Michael is a year ahead of Nathan at his school. Michael, too, has autism and its noticeable in different and similar ways (more on that some other time). He’s an only child, and making friends is tough. It’s not natural for him, but the opportunities are few as well. Together, we’re changing that.

Having him and his mom here felt like ‘doing church’ in the most wonderful of ways. Their visit warmed my heart. “Church,” in this case, means that it’s the first time in much too long where I could tell that I, no we, were living life together. We were enjoying a deeper connection and community in a natural way. In ways we all hope for when we go to church. It feels like coming home with supper waiting for you. It consists of acceptance, warts, and joys, and all. The common was somehow sacred this Thursday.

My hope it that Michael always knows he’s fully accepted and valued here. He is. I’ve made a kind of internal vow for our home to be a safe and loving place for him to be himself. He’s picked up on that. If his mom’s work schedule allows they’ll be over again this Thursday. He says, “We have a meeting.”

I’ll try to put up some video soon, because the way these two boys interact is so hilarious and sweet, and I know you’ll love it.

Make Your Home “church”
Here are some tips, if you’d like to make your home a welcoming environment for a child with autism, so a visit is something to look forward to and enjoy. (Share this information with your children.)

• Structure. Don’t expect that a child visiting will just play. Or do well if there are toys and game around. For kids, with autism anyway, most must learn simple social skills and interactions and adapt through practice. It’s really awkward at first for them. But, it gets figured out through process. You might want to create something, cook something, or play a short game, all together. Doing something with a beginning, middle, and end will add sense to the visit for them. A free play or open-ended style of interactions won’t lend to a high quality visit.

• Time limit. When Michael visits, he likes to stay for 60-75 minutes. He tells us when he wants to go. This is great, but not all kids will know when enough is enough. This can be hard on everyone involved. Plan the get-together with a defined time frame–from the outset. I suggest 45 mites to start (this depends on the child. 30 minutes for a young child might be better). Later you can move to up to 90 minutes. But play for over 2 hours, or trying for an open ended meet up can be counter-productive. A defined time slot things end on a high note, and it’s fairly easy to prepare for the visit.

• Provide goodies. Ahead of time, ask if there are food preferences or allergy issues, and then make sure to offer a snack and beverage. Food is powerful. Use it wisely.

• Ask Questions. Make an effort to interact personally a few times. Ask a “yes” or “no” question, or an “either/or” question, and indicate your interest and acceptance right away, and along the way. Don’t expect anything, just do it. If it falls flat, try again in a little bit. Be Patient. Children are more like gardens than firecrackers. (So cultivate, rather than expect a dazzling display from a brief “matching”.)

• Issues of Eye Contact and Touch We take these social things for granted and generally know what is acceptable with others, and when and where eye contact and touch it is acceptable. Many disabled children do not. They may kiss you all of a sudden, or never even glance at you. Don’t expect them to make eye contact, and don’t try to touch them unless it seems very obvious that they wouldn’t mind. (Realize that for some kids, it feels painful to be touched. Yes, painful. Same goes for eye contact.) That being said, once I’ve built trust, I find kids really appreciate and respond well to a hand on the shoulder or back, or light pressure/touch on the arm, and they warm up to me very quickly. Since sometimes others are afraid to touch them (because they’ve seen big reactions), or because they don’t have friends they interact with closely, they are sort of touch-starved. Acceptable and respectful touch will establish trust. It’s surprising.

• Notice Stuff. Maybe mention that they look good in red, they are wearing cool shoes, or that they’re getting big and strong. See them. Then, say something to let them know. This shows them that they matter to you. Make concrete comments (facts) to them, about them. It gives them a sense of personhood, or place…at the table, if you will.

• Talk to the parents. This might seem obvious, but I’m always surprised at how much the parents of disabled children feel relieved to interact and relax with conversation and company. Encourage this. They don’t often get to “feel human” because of all the stress that goes along with caring for their child. (They’re “going” or “on” all the time. It’s exhausting.)

• Follow Up. Plan ahead for the next time, soon. Set up something that day, or within a week, to have another time together. If we don’t do this, it falls off our radar. Use a pen and mark the calendar. Consistency is key.

Are you “doing church” with anyone? Why or why not?

Verse of Reflection: 

^{Matthew 25:44-45} “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

Questions, comments, suggestions?

We made candied apples yesterday.

Harvest verse:

Psalm 126:5-6
Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

The olden hymn Bringing in the Sheaves they say was based on this verse. It seem like on Little House on Prairie if the scene was within the church walls, this is the song they’d be singing. But was it harvest time? Dunno.

Autumn
The cooler weather has made me take the mental plunge into Autumn, and I have receipts to prove it…more on that in another post.

5 Things that are on my mind, now that it’s Autumn

1. Apples. Baked, fixed, and eaten in many assorted ways. Wednesday I made applesauce, and today we made candied apples. Apple Dumpling are next. Plus there’s pies, cobbler, etc.)

2. Sweaters (and sweatshirts) cozy stuff. I love ‘em. This is, until it’s even too cold for them, then I’m distracted and moody with chill, and I wear my bathrobe over my clothes all day, and doubled socks.

3. Pumpkins Love to carve them, light ‘em up, and eat the many culinary pumpkin delights of the season.

4. The Sound of Crisp Leaves. I love crunching through leaves, and that smell of fall that goes with it. mmm.

5. Football. Sunday afternoons: snacks, coffee, and the Steelers.

(There. I’m stopping at 5.)

Now! What 5 Things do you think of with the coming of Autumn?

lemonade stand

Today, my kids made almost $20. Lemonade and Cookies for sale, only ¢25 each.

Okay, I chipped in for the ingredients, and helped them set up, absolutely free, but you get the idea.

The day started off rainy. Not a good day for a lemonade stand. The odds were against them. But, ya know, when a little kid offers you fresh lemonade for a quarter, how do you refuse? I was surprised that some did, but was gladdened that those folks were greatly out-numbered by other types.

First, a friend allowed the kids to set up shop at her business, in a high traffic area. In business, don’t they say something like, “Location. Location. Location.”?

Maybe that’s with real estate.

After that move, even the sprinkles didn’t slow down the customers. Probably more than 80% who walked by, melted visably when they saw the kids with their stand.

The kids really didn’t make (almost) $20. People were generous. They gave a $1, got their cookie and beverage, and said, “Keep the change.” Some gave money to them just because they were there. I parked nearby, but I let the kids do their own business. Attract customers, offer their products, and count the change. I saw how people put in extra effort to support them. It warmed my heart.

There is something very special about being enterprising. There is needed dignity that comes for people when they can make one’s own money, or find their own way, somehow. And yes, generosity makes a big difference too.

Have you been generous enough, lately?

I have this feeling, the same thing is true with spiritual growth, as well. When it comes to spiritual things, do we try to save people the experience of struggle? Growth can take work, and be painful, do we rescue the novices, or give them easy answers? (Pat answers do really help, and they can arrest deeper thinking.) Or do we allow space for mystery, doubt, or the unknown to shape them too.

Can we let pauses in conversation or questions happen, or do we try to fill it up with our “wisdom”? It reminds me of the weird nervous laughter habit people get into sometimes, when they don’t know what to do. They laugh in some odd way, that gets distracting, in its own right.

Do we cuddle or spoon feed, when trying and making a mess will be more helpful; not in the short run, but in the long run.

What are your thoughts?

SPECIAL NOTE: I have been experiencing technical glitches with post notification. I do not intend to send you email updates, if you do not want them. To unsubscribe, use the ‘contact me’ button on the left side of this page, and send me a notice of your wishes. Thank you for your patience with this dilemma. I will continue to work on it, until it is resolved. To those of you who continue to read this blog and the updates, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

NEW post: We’ve covered about 1,600 miles since Saturday.

First, we traveled to Greensburg/East of Pittsburgh to attend my mom’s wedding. It was the first wedding I’ve gone to where two other families watched via Skype. Ever happen to you? It was very hot, but no fights broke out, and now my Mom’s last name is Sutyak.

Then we went about 9 hours northwest to Gurnee, IL to visit my brother-in-law, Jeff, and his wife, Joy, and their five kids, in nearby Waukegan. The hotel stay in Gurnee had too many moments of horror (see previous post).

Timmy DeLay is the new Waukegan arrival, and first kiddo spawned from Jeff and Joy DeLay’s genes–A 20 lb, 4 month old, placid, curly-haired boy who is incredibly adorable. We went to Girodano’s for delicious Chicago-style stuffed pizza. Okay. You should be jealous um… happy for me. It was wonderful! We also visited the Waukegan beach, (lake Michigan). The kids were really into burying each other in the sand, and we didn’t lose anyone…for too long.

On the way back we stayed in picturesque Bryan, OH. Wee fun fact: This town is the birthplace of Ohio Art (Etch-A-Sketch) and the Dum-Dum pop, (plus Saf-T-Pops®, Spangler® Candy Canes, and Spangler® Circus Peanuts). Bryan is so much like the perfectly cute little town set in the 1950s in Back-to-the-Future. Idyllic. Jackie Blu’s was a tasty place to eat, too.

Since we traveled so many hours on Sunday, I haven’t been very good at remembering what day it is. The practice of worship, and Christian fellowship each Sunday works like a reset button. It centers me, including such things as mundane as the order of days. Is it like that for you? Needless to say, tomorrow will be a recovery day…sort of a sabbath on a Friday. Tomorrow is Friday, right?

I wanted to share the lovely or interesting pictures from our Western Pa and midwestern adventure. So, Enjoy. Leave your questions or comments, if you’d like.

Where are you traveling soon?

Friday and Saturday I took off to the Poconos with my daughter for a mother/daughter retreat. The whole getaway sneaked up on me, and I realized about an hour before we had to leave that we were due to attend this overnight cabin camping getaway.

Ten things I learned from my getaway:

1. When a female retreat speaker likes to take off her shoes (and has toes that look like man fingers) I have trouble concentrating.

2. Camp cabins have a wet sock meets wet canine smell. This is normal.

3. A retreat menu consists of 300% of one’s daily requirement of carbohydrates. (MMM and uh-oh.)

4. A camping getaway is not complete unless several bugs are captured and treated like members of the family, before they die in captivity.

5. Turkeys wake up at 4 a.m….vocalizing.

6. Even if a mom/daughter hike includes spotting deer up close, friendly fowl, and indescribable beauty, wet pants, shoes, and socks will incur massive amounts of overshadowing whining.

7. Staying up past 11 p.m. for its own sake makes an eight year old immeasurably ecstatic and then immeasurably exhausted 12 hours later. Usually there is crying involved.

8. Apparently, when camping, there’s no such thing as “too much candy”.

9. Unspoken camp rule: carbonated beverages are a right, not a privilege.

10. Mysterious forces beyond one’s control cause one’s washcloths and towels to dry in no less than four days.

What are some things you’ve learned from camping?

photos of our time away.

The past week has been a doozie. On Fat Tuesday, no less, I decided to stop having carbohydrates. This includes sugars and starches. This is no easy task. Apparently, I have a bit of an addiction. I’ve never had a good grasp on cutting out sugar for more than 2-3 days.

This week, I also got a head cold, and lost my voice, and hardly have it back now, six days later. And I’ll just stop there, with my woes, because it’ll get too complicated.

At first I felt crazy without my best friend, sugar, and kept craving sweet things: candy, chocolate, cake, pie, bread, you name it. But after 3 days it’s like my body adjusted. I put a tad of frosting in my mouth from my son’s cake, and it wasn’t what I was hoping for. Very surprising.

And I’ve lost 5 lbs. It’s not easy to cut out sugar. Sugar is added to bread, meats, and plenty of things you don’t expect. Plus, I love rice, pasta, and bread…that’s all broken down into sugar….like BOOM. For me, sugar seems to hijack my metabolism and make it really difficult to shed extra pounds. I’ve gotten rounder in the last two years. Too round.

CRAZY STAT I LEARNED
In the U.S. each week, each person ingest 5 pounds of sugar (from various sources). Just read that again. For most of us, it makes us feel awesome for a short bit, with a sugar spike, and then there is a crash type of feeling later. This was worth the ride for me. But I’ve noticed having eggs and other proteins for breakfast keeps me satisfied and stable for about 4 hours, compared with 2 if I have juice or cereal or pancakes at breakfast.

BUT I LOVE SUGAR. The food fantasies were crazy.

This is the season of Lent. I didn’t give up sugar for lent. I haven’t given anything up for lent. I am trying to be more spiritually aware, and this time without sugar during what is also the season of lent, has been the one-two punch for me to stare my cravings in the eye, and not back down. I see that this sweet delight is a kind of poison for me on several levels. It’s sobering.

How does sugar play out in you life?
What sugary things do you like?
Could you give them up? Let Me Know.

First, a confession: I considered posting a photo here of a little person eating a donut hole here. This is to say, posting a visual of “a (so-called) ‘midget’ eating a munchkin®”…because I thought it would funny, a little funny…Yes, in two ways. But, I changed my mind. It just seemed like a bad choice. Some vertically challenged folks mightn’t feel respected. Also, I couldn’t find a good photo.

FAT TUESDAY
Today, March 8th, is my son’s birthday. Today is also Mardi Gras (French for Fat Tuesday). It seemed fitting to send some donut treats for a birthday snack to share with his classmates.

Where I live, Fat Tuesday is celebrated as Fastnacht Day (pronounced: FOSSt-Not) or Donut Day. Potato dough is fried and served with dark corn syrup. After 3 Fastnacht donuts, and you might need assistance to stand or move. Plus, the local Dunkin Donuts shop makes 1,900 dozen donuts on 24 hour shifts just be ready. Don’t mess with donut lovers!

Will you eat a donut today?

The fact is most of us love the indulgence of Fat Tuesday (and other times of feasting), but pay too little attention to the times of simplicity, in the following season. I usually do.

LENT 411
In this particular case, a reflective time is set aside in the Christian calendar following the feasting period. Yes, it’s called the season of Lent. This year, Lent starts Wednesday, March 9th, and ends in the celebration and remembrance of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ (a.k.a Easter Sunday). This year, Easter falls on Sunday, April 24. (To find out the strange way they determine this date each year, go here.)

Why bother concerning yourself with Lenten season?
To show you are devoted to God? Nope. (God already knows your heart.) To please God with sacrifice? Hopefully not, because a pure heart and obedience is better than sacrifice. It’s not about proving something or doing something for God. Instead, a season of Lent can work well to prepare our hearts for God’s work. It can open our eyes to the greater Reality, as well as draw greater significance (for our understanding) in the sacrifice in Jesus Christ’s life of obedience and death for our benefit. This season, can also help us identify with and have compassion for the poor, and the those millions upon millions of humans suffering in our world, which often does not enter our thoughts nearly enough.

This lenten season can be a time of gratitude, and questioning our priorities and cravings.  So, what would happen if you observed the season of Lent in a new way, in some manner, this year? I think you could be pleasantly surprised.

Need an idea?
One thing you can do differently is simply drop by here and pause to read a lenten reflection. Once a week, or more, I will post some Lenten Season reflections to make better use of the season, spiritually speaking. I hope it brings an unexpected blessing to you. So, check back soon, or or sign up for post updates to be notified when a reflection post goes live.

But, first things first–go get a donut!

Um. Yep.

I got this fortune cookie fortune today. This variety of weirdness feels like it was written in Hoboken, not Peking…but I think I like it.

As it relates to my future? Hum…now that’s a good question. It could be in keeping with the Raisinets I found on my porch on the Chinese New Year’s Day (It’s the Year of the Rabbit)

What’s the funniest or strangest fortune cookie you’ve ever gotten?

My son is home with tummy pains. I hope he didn’t eat anything bad.

This grilled cheese sandwich went bad, very bad. (All the way to the dark side.)

It's not a liberty bell sandwich, it's Lord Vader.

When was the last time you got sick from food?

some other family enjoying mealtime prayer

Do you pray before meals with your family?

This Christian spiritual practice is one I grew up with. I was praying at meals since I was 3, and I remember some of those first prayers. Do you remember getting to pray for the meals as a child? It felt like an honor to be asked, as I recall.

Here’s where it gets weird.
My two children (ages, almost 11 and 8 years old, respectively) seem to loath mealtime prayers, under any circumstances.

Unlike many children from praying homes, mine rebuff any offers to say the prayer at mealtime, even when they are sweetened with awesome bribes! They usually complain about mealtime prayer, despite our conversations about having our particular family tradition and its importance in our view of the world. Most often, the kids see mealtime prayers as a unpleasant obstacle preventing their nourishment. And, it seems to be worsening as time goes by.

That’s right a 30 second prayer time before meals is worse than other forms of child torture…like going to bed at 8:00, or hanging up one’s coat, or emptying the silverware from the dishwasher. I don’t get it either.

As a person who’s spent hundreds of hours researching and learning how to help people grow spiritually, this is a bit of a black eye…oh, and a punch in the gut. It’s not just a bit embarrassing to realize, but  it makes me think that perhaps my children’s basic spiritual formation is compromised if these times of prayer are not meaningful and helpful when we do them. I think we could all be the worse for our failure here.

So, I’ve been speaking with my husband about how we can change things up, and enliven family prayer time to make God, and thanking God for our food more participatory, vivified, and worthwhile for all of us. I want children with grateful hearts.

I thought of some ideas, and I hope you will contribute to the mix too. I could use your ideas and advice.

Idea 1. Lighting a candle:
Kids love fire. Right? I’d like to try to light a voitive candle for each of us and read John 8:12

Then Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

We can then respond. “Thank you Jesus for your light in our hearts. Thank you for our meal. Amen.”

Idea 2. Maybe adding a kind of prop, visual aid, or short object lesson with our practice would make it not just a more interesting time, but will carry on in their thoughts. Then, at night when putting them to bed, we could bring it up again, for a little meditating or conversation for an evening prayer.

Idea 2. Maybe using a mixing of responsive prayers during the week could awaken us to a richer time of thanks before meals.

Prayer 1:

(lead voice) The eyes of all wait upon you, O God,
(others) And you give them their food in due season.

You open wide your hand
and fill all things living with plenteousness.

Bless, O Lord, these gifts to our use and us in your service;
relieve the needs of those in want and give us thankful hearts;
for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Prayer 2:

(lead voice) Bless us, O Lord, who bless your holy name
and by this food, feed us for your holy service.

(others) Thank you, Father and Lord. Amen.

This one could be said after meal time, to add some thankfulness “bookends” to the time together.

After meal prayer:

(lead voice) All your works praise you, O God,
(others) And your faithful servants bless you.

They make known the glory of your kingdom
And speak of your power.

For these and all God’s gifts and graces,
let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God. Amen.

Other ideas:

1. We could also go around the table and thank God for something. (My kids balk at this usually.)

2. We could stand and hold hands, or change our posture during prayer, from the norm (which for us is holding hands while seated).

3. When could listen to a singing of a psalm, or worship song before the meal.

HELP! What else can be done to make mealtime prayer better?

sad snowman

So, we’re all taking the day off. The kids don’t have school, ETS is officially closed due to weather (which means I’m not teaching until next week).

I’m getting sick of winter already. They say a certain PA groundhog can determine wether spring will arrive soon, or if winter has six more weeks to do its worst. This all happens on February 2. Tomorrow. Um… I don’t think we need Punxsutawney Phil to tell us the inevitable. Do you?

UPDATE: Feb 3, 2011. In a meteorological SHOCKER, Punxsy Phil did NOT see his shadow, so he predicts an early spring. In this 125 year tradition, the groundhog sees his shadow 9 times out of 10, and then goes back into his den. (Or he could be scared by all the flashing cameras.)

AND! Can someone tell me why February can’t borrow a day from January and a day from March to get up to a more normal 30 day month? Those few days seem, well, important.

FEBRUARY FREEBIES:
For 3 years now, I’ve used February to give away gifts. I have the first one here: 10 oz of Premium Chocolate (premium for central Pennsylvania, that is.)

To try for this goodie, leave a comment, before Feb 14, telling us about the last fantastic chocolate experience you’ve had. What did you eat, etc? One fortunate or creative reader will get the Gold. Good luck.

February prize.

There’s only so much you can write about fasting. The topic is starved from the start, but with this concluding post, I’ll tie together the rest of my summary on FASTING.

I should point out that I hate being hungry. Being hungry sometimes makes me get, not just grouchy, but angry. Part of why I encountered this topic publicly was to encourage myself to take on this valuable spiritual practice with more devotion. But because I enjoy the process? ….WHOA. OH NO; it’s because I see unquestionable spiritual benefits from undergoing the practice which cannot so thoroughly occur by another method.

Dangers of Fasting

It may become False Religion (fast verse link: Col. 2:23)

It may produce the idea that God is obligated to do what we’d like.

May feed our control issues (Do you have starving-yourself powers or issues? Then, be careful. Gandhi (an heroic and virtuous man) didn’t do fasts, he had hunger strikes. Notice the difference.)

May intensify health ailments (Be extra cautious when fasting if you have health issues.)

What are some you can think of?

Benefits of Fasting

Prayer and worship producing

Calls our cravings into question

Useful for thwarting (great or small) neurotic thoughts or activities, vices, obsessions, and addictions.

• We learn that our cravings need not control us

• It nurtures a dependence on God.

Kinds of FASTS

1. From 1 meal

2. From Sundown to Sunrise, or Sunrise to sundown

3. From certain foods (sweets, coffee, meat, etc.)

4. From enjoyed or frequent activities (tv, internet, sports, shopping, snacking, etc.)

What fasts have you tried, or would recommend?

You may like this fasting resource: the book and guide for individual, and group fasts, called Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough by Elmer L. Towns.

Please leave any of your guide books or fasting recommendations in the comment section, if you have them.

useful guide for fasting

What will you do?

Will you commit to fast at least once per month?

Which type of fast (or fasts) makes sense for you?

What would you like to pray about during your fast?

Thanks for your participation!

Live on bread...alone?

Here is a selection of some of the Fasting points I discussed, today, with the congregation at Bellegrove Church.

This is NOT an exhaustive study on the topic. If you have experiences or thoughts to share, we could all benefit. Please share here.

Definition: “fasting” verb. abstaining from all or some kinds of food or drink, esp. as a religious observance.

Who are some people who fasted in the Bible?

There were thousands, but here are a few:

• Hannah, Easter, David, Moses, Elijah… (personal fasts, for various reasons)

• People of Nineveh (national repentance)

• Jesus-spiritual discipline (training) preceding life’s work and mission (Matt 4:1-11) —Cool, huh?

Fasting does what?

• It questions our appetites (of every kind).
• It reminds us of Jesus great sacrifice (He give up everything. Leaving out a bit of food IS NOT a big deal, is it?)
• It helps us seek God’s strength for obedient love and service.
• It involves our Motives, not technique (Matt 6:16-18)

(Some things) Fasting is needed for…

• A potent reminder to turn to God.
• A subjection of a base need (food) to see our greater spiritual needs.
• A time of scrutiny of our personal sacrifice to the Lord, and his people.

Fasting is Feasting on God. (Yes, you can read that again.)

It helps us…

• Focus on God, instead of our lack.
• Makes sacred space (for worship, prayer, praise, repentance to our gracious God.
• Experience (through self-denial) God’s goodness and sufficiency. (A.k.a. “We live…not by bread alone” Matt 4:1-11)

to be continued…

(Next time: Some dangers of Fasting, and some benefits of Fasting, and some ideas for Fasting effectively.)

Some of us don’t fast. Some of us fast for the wrong reason. This is the first of a few posts on FASTING. Bring your thoughts to the table, and stick with us until the end. I promise, you’ll see Fasting in a new light.

Here are 5 Poor Reasons to Fast, and the “inner monologue” that may follow one’s rationale. Can you see yourself or someone you know in the following?

1. To lose weight.

(inner monologue) Oh, if I could only lose these last 8 pounds. I know, I’ll kill two birds with stone, and fast. It’ll be like a diet, only it’ll make God happy, and me feel better about myself at the same time.

2. Because other people are fasting.

(inner monologue) I’m going to look like such an pathetic loser if I don’t join in this fast with my group. There’s going to be an awkward silence if or when I don’t have something to say amazing to say about my fast.

3. To prove something to yourself.

(inner monologue) It’s just time for a change. I’m ready for God to do something BIG. Really Big. There’s nothing like fasting to give God the signal that I’m ready to follow his lead. This time I’ll try for 5 days.

4. To attract positive attention.

(inner monologue) I like to tell my friends when I fast…to keep me accountable. But it makes me feel encouraged to just tell them about it, I must admit. Hopefully, it encourages them.

5. To feel more spiritual.

(inner monologue) Sometimes when I’m going through a dry period spiritually, I like to crank it up a notch, and give food the boot for a while. I want it to sort of give me a boost, and start a fire for God in my heart.

Have you ever thought any of these things? What has been your inner monologue, or dubious reasons you’ve heard for fasting?

I’ll be address each one of these, and your comments, in the next post.
Can you think of a bad reason to fast?

TO BE CONTINUED…
So-Don’t miss the important conclusions on this topic in the upcoming post. Sign up to get an update notice as soon as it’s posted.

SO, it’s the the season of the NFL Playoffs. I’ve noticed myself bending toward some folksy theology. Maybe you’ve noticed this for yourself. Or…just let me remind you. :)

Bring on the comments, friends! Can you think of any items I missed?

1. Caffeine is somehow linked to the Holy Spirit.

2. People who use the words “Demon Alcohol” don’t use the words “Demon Lactose”, but really, which one seems more demonic on a regular basis?

3. Gluttony of anything [but food] seems sinful, but eating until it almost hurts is a worthy epicurean goal, and probably some sort of “listening to God thing” or even a gifting of the Spirit.

4. Lack of a TV makes you more spiritual, but the possession of an iPhone helps you help God.

5. Twinkle lights in December and January help show the Light of God’s Love, but by March they are tacky, and used by Satan to distract people from the blessing of Spring and rebirth.

6. The ability to host a kickin’ NFL Playoff party with great food is called “the Gift of Hospitality” and it makes God proud when when use our gifts. [I'll be over @ 4p.m.]

7. Routing for teams like the Cowboys, the Eagles, the Browns, the Lions, (and so on) develops the Fruit of the Spirit we call Patience. So, it’s a good thing, but like many spiritual lessons, it is learned through pain and struggle. Watching such teams fail each year helps those fans grow spiritually…more than Patriot or Steeler fans, let’s say.

So…That’s 7 nutty beliefs that can happen in January. Have you noticed anything weird lately? If so, please share.

package design varies in 14 years

1997 crust

What happens when you eat 14 year old pizza crust from Betty Crocker? We found out.

On January 1, 2011, in a short series of unfortunate events, my husband prepared a Betty Crocker pizza crust from a mix. It turned out terribly. We couldn’t figure out why. It was paper thin, and stuck so badly to the pan that it seemed to only come off in stamp-sized pieces, not to mention being brittle and tasteless.

I forced it down, and after the kids bemoaned their meal, I, being a proper mom, I had them finish most of it–by decree. It was only after I saw the varying package design of some just-bought Betty Crocker pizza crust, did suspect something was amiss. That little wave of electric panic fear went around on my back. This could be a long night in the bathroom, I thought.

Soon, it seemed clear that we ingested 14 year old crust mix from 1997. There was no expiration date visable on any package, but there were copyright dates. The new ones said ©2009. [Obviously the old one read ©1997.] Gulp. This was bad news. Really bad news. This is nearly double the age of my daughter. Who eats food twice their age, and gets away with it? Okay, babies. But who else?

The thought was sickening, but oddly the meal wasn’t, in a true sense. We were all fine. No harm done.

4 Proposals:
1. Betty Crocker Pizza crust is not food.
2. God spared us (because sometimes he’s wacky like that.)
3. Pizza crust couldn’t hurt us, even if it was 50 years old…’cause that’s how p.c. rolls.
4. We’ve just realized we are the real life version of  “No Ordinary Family”
Do you have any ideas?

It was a mysterious way to start the new year, and things have only gotten stranger since.

What the oldest thing you’ve eaten recently?
Or…What’s the strangest thing that’s happened to you so far this year?

Piece of fruitcake, 14 lbs.

Tonight is the Eve of Christmas Eve. Some have referred to this night as Christmas Adam…because Adam came before Eve. It’s all very Biblical, like Christmas itself, when Jesus came down a chimney, and was born under a tree, and then wrapped in swaddling gift wrappings.

I have usually rejected the moniker “Christmas Adam” because it takes away from Santa Clause. This is a tough night for Santa, with all the dry runs they have to do in the North Pole, and the elf toymaker’s threat of strike casting an unseemly shadow on this year’s holiday Super Bowl of Arctic events. It’s one of the best reasons compassion should be at the fore in our minds.

Christmas Adam is not so much a day of cheer. It’s a day of cuss words, traffic, last minute panic buying, and feeling like a dope for forgetting any number of basic merriment preparations.

And- Christmas Adam allows us reflection for one more important holiday theme. Don’t Eat the Fruit…cake.

I buy it twice almost every December, because a genetic mutation passed from my mother-in-law to my husband, allows them both to delight in the stuff. 28lbs later, my shopping is complete… if I remember to include the stuff.

Are you a fan of the holiday Cake of Candied Fruit? (Is it REALLY fruit anymore?) To me it seems like eating cement bread laced with misshaped jelly beans. Bleck!

I know one thing, it’s not Jesus’s favorite birthday cake. And calling it FRUITcake of the Spirit won’t help your cause either. (You can’t even get candles into it!)

Happy Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year!

Which one sounds wrong?

A. Do you have the guts?
B. Put your heart into it.
C. Make up your heart.

What is the heart?
The answer might surprise you.

In modern times, the “heart” has been called, “the feeling mind”. That sounds pretty good to me. What do you think?

A recent visitor responded to my post Is Chocolate Filling my God-shaped Hole? with the comment below (edited down). I think it would help to respond through a post, also. Now we can open up the whole thing to dialogue a bit more. Thanks for your contribution on this topic.

Visitor Response to Post–Submitted: on 2010/12/03 at 3:10 pm
The way I look at it, viewing the heart and mind as separate is extrabiblical; thus, in fact, “that thing that ‘falls in love’ or gets sentimental” *is* the mind. So the modern “follow your heart” does not connote the *opposite* of the biblical “heart,” but rather only *part* of it. Bottom line, I can’t trust my mind or my heart, or even my own spirit completely… only God is 100% trustworthy. As for filling our “voids” with things “besides” God, I try to remember that God gets the credit for all good things anyway…

My response:
I should have also pointed out [within that post] that the Hebrew equivalent of the emotions or passions (what many now consider the “heart”) were also referred to differently than the mind (i.e. set a different category, if you will–the bowels or “guts”). The “guts” implied connection with those qualities of emotion, and so forth.

To sum up: In the Bible, (most especially in the Old Testament)…

1. What is translated as “heart” (in the KJV and others) is closer to what we now term as “the mind”. More specifically, the individual’s command center, or the place where decisions are made– which includes the will.

2. What we may think of as “the heart” that is, passions, desires, emotions, in the Hebrew language is connected with “the guts” or “bowels” of a person. For instance, “In his guts he loved her”. Yes, it sounds awkward, at best.

Even more controversy:
THE SOUL

There is a big dissimilarity in the Hebrew vs. English renditions of the word often translated in English as “soul”. In Hebrew, it refers to the whole being. The whole person (So, no. It does not mean a ghosty thing that floats to the clouds like in Warner Brother cartoons). We can understand it in our context more this way when we say, “30 souls were lost [died] in the shipwreck.”

Hey, everyone, please, weigh in.
This post is open to opinions, thoughts, comments, or if you’re of the particular stripe…exegesis.
(Yes. That’s the BIG word of the day.)

Exegesis (EGGs -eh- Jesus) is this definition here. It’s not a variant, or French spelling of “Eggs and Cheeses” which we may be tempted to think at first blush, right? 

"Eggs and Cheeses" (Not Exegesis)

(click photo to find its source)

Tomorrow’s post–
“Does your Breakfast (and your deity) make you AWESOME?”

Pa. 1942 Thanksgiving (creative commons)

Book of Common Prayer
A Litany of Thanksgiving
836    Thanksgivings

Let us give thanks to God our Father for all his gifts so
freely bestowed upon us.

For the beauty and wonder of your creation, in earth and
sky and sea.
We thank you, Lord.

For all that is gracious in the lives of men and women,
revealing the image of Christ,
We thank you, Lord.

For our daily food and drink, our homes and families, and
our friends,
We thank you, Lord.

For minds to think, and hearts to love, and hands to serve,
We thank you, Lord.

For health and strength to work, and leisure to rest and play,
We thank you, Lord.

For the brave and courageous, who are patient in suffering
and faithful in adversity,
We thank you, Lord.

For all valiant seekers after truth, liberty, and justice,
We thank you, Lord.

For the communion of saints, in all times and places,
We thank you, Lord.

Above all, we give you thanks for the great mercies and
promises given to us in Christ Jesus our Lord;
To him be praise and glory, with you, O Father, and the
Holy Spirit, now and for ever. Amen.

See also The General Thanksgiving on pages 58 and 101.
From the Book of Common Prayer online: here.