Lisa Colón DeLay

I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.

Gleanings

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.

• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.

• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.

• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.

Communication and Transactions

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.

• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.

The biggest reason people divorce? 

• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)

The most important things we can teach our children?

• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)

One aspect of the pre-Easter season (Lent) is confession…

Well, not really. The majority of Evangelicals avoid or ignore the command to confess and even the concept of confession. One great excuse is that we don’t have to be like Catholics who have to answer to a priest for our sins and then do penance. We don’t need a mediator between us and God. How empowering!

But, ignoring or avoiding confession also gives us a chance to hide in our sin and deceive ourselves and others…hum…not so empowering! That’s like putting our soul in jail.

True and thorough Healing and transformation come in and from the context of community.

Jame 5:16
International Standard Version (©2012)
Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

But –Why would confessing heal us?

There is a kind of cleansing that happens in confession. That’s why it’s not optional. It’s not just a purge from our end either.

Revealing ourselves to others has transformative power. Thousands of 12 Step followers will tell you countless tales of life-altering transformation that came through this route.

Simply put–God purposefully makes healing real and possible when authenticity happens with others. It will not happen on our own. This is by design because it makes us healthier to be connected in such a way.

There are no AA groups with 1 member because that would ensure failure. Healing works the same way for all us in that regard. Isolation keeps us stuck and unwell. Blind.

The Holy Spirit uses our honesty and uses our transparency and does his good work. Transformation! A confession is not just an apology (“Hey, sorry I made you feel that way.”) but rather it’s a careful decision to be authentic, to expose one’s self to the light of truth, to change, and to take a new course. So it is blessed.

This is the power and efficacy of prayer and repentance.

 

In the next post I’ll cover who we should or could confess to…

Do you think it matters who we confess to? (leave me a comment or voicemail)

Do you confess your sins and shortcomings regularly? (leave me a comment or voicemail. Yes or no and why or why not.)

 It’s easy to forget to visit this blog, because you’re busy. I know how that is. I update with new content about 3 times per week. You can get the new stuff sent to you AND you can use my content as well. So, click in the side bar for new content delivery and please check out the Permission Policy page for the rules for fair usage. Thanks for spending some time here today. :)

 

LASTLY- Is there anything you should confess? You are invited to do that here, or simply admit to confessing to some other human here (if you want to confess in another venue).

photo image found here:

The air was electric… a cross between a speech and rock concert…a nerdy electricity.

My school (where I now work) is small. Small but strangely mighty. Blessed.

And thankfully it is committed to excellence and honest inquiry. This quality is more rare than you might imagine, in liberal and conservative institutions alike.

Yesterday, Dr. Miroslav Volf was the featured speaker at the annual Ritter-Moyer Lecture. Go ahead, click on his name if you haven’t of him.

I’m still reflecting on his message and a richer response in warranted.

But, I can say this….His message seemed radical…but only because Christians have too often loved so poorly.

They were convicting words, for me, for those who claim to forward the Gospel, and also sadly–for most of humanity. The Gospel it turns out is highly subversive and radical because it turns the all too common bad bits of human nature upside down and refutes them. Love and Grace are downright scandalous. We get Grace wrong. Almost all the time.

But the lecture was far from depressing. It was heavily laced with hope. His topic revolved around honor.

I hope to revisit the themes, but for now here’s an anemic glimpse of the approx 3 hour lecture (yes, there was a 20 min break involved in the middle).

QUOTES:

“We have a religious duty to honor everyone.” (including those who persecute us)

“Misplaced fear is one of the primary reasons we fail to honor. We should replace the fear of each other with the fear of God.”

“The [American] founding is not a pretty story. It’s an ambiguous story. It’s drenched in injustice but also suffused with ideals and institutions that can be affirmed (by Christians). It’s also the story of our own hearts. We have no excuse and we have to own our own divided history.”

‎” [Grace means] I am not the sum of my deeds.”

“Everyone who loves or wants to be loved distinguishes between person and deed. Forgiveness is “unsticking” the deed from the person.”

‎”Fear undermines honor.”

‎”Forgiveness presupposes that sin & sinner are distinctive from each other”

“How do we know that we are speaking the truth in love? We are gentle.”

“We bear false witness (to the Gospel) when our words don’t match our deeds.”

“Peace is not agreement. It is sacrificial love…The means is the end.”

‎”1 Peter: command: “Have tolerance with others when (you are) persecuted.”

“But, more than tolerance, we must honor (and respect) them.”

“Gentleness is a servant of respect.”

(You can find more quotes from Volf on Twitter by searching #Volf, or on the Evangelical Seminary Facebook page)

Have you noticed the presence of REVENGE themes…

kinda all over the place?

Maybe you’ve heard (or said) something like,

“One day he’ll get his! God will get him for what he did!”

or

“Wait until judgement day! God says he will repay. He will avenge.”

or

“I just can’t wait until she gets what’s coming to her.”

Sometimes people even use these verses (below) to comfort themselves, or maybe assuage their rage while trying to wait for God dole out paybacks.

Because…You know what they say about paybacks…

Hebrews 10:30-31
For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

Here’s the final Word on paybacks.

God gives them out, well, he has. God did avenge. God did repay. Justice was served…as grace (for us). God’s due wrath and fury, the full vengeance for all the horrid wrongs was repaid…

In every sickening, flesh-ripping whip strike upon the innocent body of Jesus of Nazareth. In every bash, wallop, wound, thorn gouge, spear stab, and nail pounding. Every pain.

All of sin, then, now, and forever was paid for. Their sin…. And your sin.

It is finished. Really.

The kind of revenge we want for others has already happened, and it was very expensive.

Hold back your hope for paybacks, because Jesus doesn’t need to do it again. Jesus took the blows for their debt, and more importantly for yours.

Let us be aware of how costly our sin is…

…even our sin of hoping for revenge…but calling it “justice”.

Justice is spookier than we’ve realized.

Forgive. When that stops working, forgive again.

Creative Commons ( click for attribution )

So, now what?

Enjoy Part I of my interview with Shawn Smucker.

Amish being arraigned for hair and beard cutting attacks. A sticky situation.

Have you heard about the Amish-on-Amish hair and beard cutting violence? (You will if you read this.)

And, like me, have you ever wondered if the Amish read Amish romance books?

Watch and listen to writer Shawn Smucker‘s unique take on these topics in a limited-time release of epic bonus video material. This video will not be available as usual on the NiNJA interviews youtube channel. It will not be shown here, or released to the general public. To view this bonus video, click here.

If you enjoy it, remember there’s more to come. You won’t want to miss it. To get unfettered access on all future bonus videos use the contact form on the right. (It’s your ticket to FREE Savvy! Boo–yah!)

SO — Who’s Shawn, exactly, and is he related to the SMUCKERS JELLY people…you know…the “With a name like Smuckers, it’s gotta be good” folks?

Shawn Smucker has Amish roots, and can trace his ancestry back almost 400 years to 1620 German farmers. He’s written several books on the Amish, including Think No Evil on the tragic Nickel Mines Schoolhouse shooting and forgiveness in Amish culture. His latest book My Amish Roots details the culture, traditions, stories of this intriguing Christian subculture that shun modern conveniences, and live a slow-paced agrarian lifestyle rich in community, Christian values, and tight generational family bonds.

Shawn Smucker

January 23, I’ll post Shawn’s Ninja Interview video in 2 parts (viewable here and on youtube). We chat about the Amish culture, forgiveness, his not yet widely known upcoming book project, and more.

(It’s so good, I couldn’t limit it to the typical 5-6 minutes.) Tune in and you’ll find out if Shawn also has Jelly roots, too.

(pppsst. The best way to see it right away is to subscribe here, or on the youtube channel.)

 Current “FREE SAVVY” members, your access is already in place. Enjoy.

I snapped this photo of a white board at Evangelical Seminary on Tuesday. I think a Marriage and Family Therapy class was in before I got there.

The word unity can be used for oneness here.

Really absorb the elements of this visual. What do you notice?

It seems the path diverges at choice. Reflection and Confession can be chosen over blame. The result is restoration and forgiveness instead of isolation and brokeness.

It’s a lesson I need. It’s a lesson I have to impart to my kids.

What are Your thoughts?

Poison Ivy (sure she looks alright... but).

Today is my 5th day with Poison Ivy. I wish getting a rash from the stuff made me look like Uma Thurman in the Batman Series. But no. It’s on my right hand, my neck, and my face. (I’ll spare you a picture…but if you’re weird and very curious you can find one I posted on Facebook… cause I’m weird. It was really more of a cry for help.)

My husband was impervious to the wiles of the wicked weed throughout his whole life. He was a sort of “Leaves of three, won’t hurt me,” kind of person. He was quite immune, and had an immense confidence in his resistance.

Little did he realize that one can develop a sensitivity at any time in life; sometimes suddenly–out of nowhere. You probably know where this is going, right?

Yep. Two years ago he yanked out a very pesky vine in our yard, and developed bumps under his watchband. “Bug bites,” he said. Very nasty and itchy bite causing bugs, with the kind of kind of moxie to work around and under a tight plastic strap, and skip all the easy biting areas. Hands? Ankles? Neck? That’s for sissy bugs! These bugs were The Seal Team 6 of the insect world.

After a few days, and the “bug bites” spreading (strangely enough), he complained how powerfully allergic he turned out to be to these vicious insect creatures. I took one look, and said, “That looks just like poison ivy.”

He said, “It can’t be poison ivy. I don’t get poison ivy.” Still, he agreed to have the doctor take a look, and was treated with a steroid for guess what? Now, he lives a life of fear for that side of our yard. Recollecting the agony has made him a different man.

HERE is a link to properly identify these common rash inducers.

People can be like poison ivy. Sure everything is innocuous at first. Maybe, we think, “Great, they’re raspberries!” Raspberries have leaves-of-three. And raspberries are delicious! Mmm. We interact with them, and after some searching, we don’t seem to find the fruit we thought we would. Nevertheless, no ill comes of it. It’s more of a enigma than anything. Hardy plants too. Look at them take off!

Then one day, it strikes us, these leaves-of-three people actually cause irritation, and a distracting burning itch…that spreads. You may try to make it work. You may try to just “semi-interact” with them, but a rash is always the result. Usually, it’s the kind of rash that gets a bit worse with each encounter.

Finally, you realize, “Leaves-of-three, let them be.” They are, in fact, poisonous to you and many others…even though they may seem like wonderful raspberries at first. Where they are comes annoyance, pain, or vexation. They are clever look-alikes. Nothing can make them raspberries, and you have to stop acting as if there is a way that a wholesale change into “something else” is possible. You realize you can cancel their debt of inflicting you, but you don’t want to be touched by them, or get too close anymore. It’s just not worth it.

Have you ever had to avoid a “poison ivy person”?

What are some cures or remedies you’ve heard of for helping with poison ivy? (The plant kind, or the people kind.)

And I’m really curious, What kind of prayer do you think might help with regards to poison ivy people?

tuna

I’m not trying to carp, but they say things come in threes:

1. Introduced to “Fish Pedicures”.

2. Our kitchen sink smells like tuna (still).

3. Osama bin Laden is buried at sea.

Now, I’d sooner get a defective Nembutal enema then be correct here, butt (sic.) it seems that things have been pretty fishy. (Read: peculiar and fish-centric) Okay, I sort of made the second one up. I probably should have mentioned dead schools of fish or something.

Today, I feel a well….a “disturbance in the force”. Something just isn’t right…ya know? Maybe in the universe. Maybe in the thinking I read reverberating through social media. It’s not just the caffeine talking. I have some very conflicting thoughts and emotions at this point. Something is the matter.

With this talk of the most wanted wealthy, terrorist mastermind being “brought to justice”, I am reminded that human justice (so-called) is focused on retribution and punishment. Those are its first aims. But, must’n we realize there is no justice qua justice at the hands of human beings?

Can this man’s death heal the wounds of those who lost loved ones on 9/11? Never. There has been no score settled. Nothing can repay or compensate for that type of destruction and loss.

Here is where ultimate triumph can only come through the practice of forgiveness. It is the hard stuff, the stuff that happens supernaturally–not through our strength.

Grace trumps our flawed and immature (human) slant on Justice.

Will we ever get justice right?

God cancels our debt. My debt. Yours. Bin Laden’s. God’s work at the cross and ongoing through his people is the working out of this cancelation which does not overlook the evil, but negates it. It pulls its teeth out. It becomes victorious in the most scandalous way (compared to our standards). This way is very unpopular, I might add. Check out the movies. We like revenge and payback. Our movie stars exact it out for us, so we can feel comforted.

So, absorb the important part. The weight and burden of the disparate of goodness and evilness funnels down and is defeated and overcome by sacrifice, and by grace. Christ Jesus’ death on the cross. This is God’s active dealing with evil and human nature gone wrong. In all cases.

I didn’t think I’d feel this way, but all the bin Laden news and stuff has just left me with the creeps. We need help.

What must we change about our view of justice with regards to God’s holiness and mercy? How can we understand and enact justice better, and our active role in meting it out?

Tell me: What are your feelings about the ways of justice, or the recent events concerning Osama bin Laden? Was “justice served”?

And In what ways can grow from this? (And, Yes, I’m fishing for your thoughts.)

Does this look like a helpless ass, to you? To be honest, it looks like me.

Today, I had an insightful time of devotional reading and prayer. I was convicted to lay my burdens down. I hadn’t properly realized how heavy my load of worries has been.

After I gave them to God to carry, I noticed how exhausting it has been to leverage them. My epiphany: I can be inadvertently as stubborn and pathetic as an overburdened ass, to the point where my load masters me.

Maybe you need to find some relief too.

There are about 20 days until Easter (Resurrection Sunday). The time is ripe to take a potent inventory of your worries, sins, and burdens. You are tired. You are more tired than you know. Don’t be stubborn, like me. Relent and give up your load.

Be encouraged–right now as you read this–to really take a two or three minutes to be aware of the weight and hardship of your current load.

For a minute, picture all of that as a huge backpack or bundle (see photo below for visual inspiration). Ask yourself: What are my burdens? Ask: Why am I carrying them so long?

Do you want relief?

female porter sherpa, mountain climbing

Accept God’s relief.

Now, put down your load. Put it all the way down. Try to stay with that visual image, and pray about it. What would you like to tell God?
What have you sensed in this short time of thinking about it?
And, what, if anything, is God prompting you to do?

Will you follow your savior up the mountain, and give up your load?

God’s strength and forgiveness is critical for us to recognize and accept. It is our saving grace. What a cathartic gift it is to lay our burdens down. Remember the joy of your salvation today.

Today’s verse for prayer reflection:
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. -Jesus, the Christ

Feel free to share your thoughts, insights, reflections, random comments, or silly observations. We’re in this together. May your day be blessed.

How about some feedback?! :)

Yet, she's still smiling. Maybe this is an irony I can embrace.

Would you ever wear this shirt?

Image via Wikipedia (confessing to another)

About 500 years ago there was this spat. At the time, having your sins forgiven was a sort of pay as you go thing. It was a bit like a toll road.

The toll booth worker was the Priest. If you bought “indulgences” the Priest could better settle up your debt with God.

Handy little business model, especially when folks hope to avoid damnation, right?

This became rather upsetting. So these Reformer types started protesting. It was not so much to split from the Church, but to transform it–at first.

Of course, men can get pretty riled up about their new fantastic ideas (ever seen that?), and before anyone realized it, a huge split…others might say a heresy or rebellion… was cemented into place in history–forever changing the landscape of Christianity.

Spiritually speaking, some good was gained (and Catholics adjusted to these grievances by the 1960s with Vatican II), but as more and more people are beginning to realizing now, some very good and important things were lost because of going this route.

So, what is the real purpose of a priest, or priest-like figure? Is it necessary? Can absolution of sin come from a man in a white collar? What about a teenager in a crew neck? Or a lady with a scarf?

Drum roll, please…..

Oh!  Wait! Before, you start gathering firewood and a sturdy stake for my conflagration, please hear me out the entire way. (Then have at it; I’d like to hear from you.)

The I Timothy 2:5 “one mediator” verse is often used to underscore that Christ alone can forgive sins and be our mediator to God. It’s true. This was the mission of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

But Protestants have, by the over-reactive trailblazing of the Reformers, missed quite a bit of the spiritual benefits of what Jesus’ brother James talks about:

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

What is James saying…that confession and other believers’ prayers are powerful and effective against sin? Yes.

GASP.
Okay, not a total gasp. But how does this play out? You may wonder…

This confessing to each other is not the same as be able to actually take Jesus’ place (obviously). James shows us that confession to each other works. It does something important. God wants it to be done this way.

It absolves us (because God absolves us). So, it is true that we personally experience the relief of our guilt being removed. We experience, in real terms, the agency of God’s forgiveness of our guilt. Someone is there beside us, standing in the gap for us, so we can be reconciled more thoroughly, more completely than we can experience it otherwise. It is God’s work; and we are agents of his ministry.

These confessors  to whom we confess become a flesh and blood representation of God’s love that promotes gracious forgiveness and offers wholeness. It offers us freedom from guilt (felt guilt, and feeling or thinking as if Christ‘s work is not complete). It puts flesh on our spiritual justification.

It seems we can’t handle our sin on our own too well, at all.

We are sinful, and it’s not a private matter.

Just confessing to God, and keeping our mistakes and sin to ourselves, is not the recommendation and requirement of Christ’s disciples.

The Community of God (i.e. the Church; our brothers and sisters in the Lord) plays a vital role in our spiritual growth and growth in grace. Confession ushers in that felt healing of the sin and guilt which weigh us down, and disables us.

Our sin is a rejection of community (aka The Bride of Christ) and an act of selfishness.

Our sin is a destructive thing. Socially and spiritually destructive.

Confession and absolution, (the kind you might say/declare out loud to another person) restore us at a core level. To ourselves, to God, and to community (aka The Bride of Christ).

In this way, we act not as God, but on God’s behalf. We minister.

It is simply true that he forgives us. We concur and offer social restoration, and remind the confessing one of God’s gracious work and love for us.

We minister to each other, on equal footing, and we may offer God’s grace to a brother or sister who cannot yet properly apprehend it. We can accept their confession and offer forgiveness, so we speak the Truth of God’s Kingdom into their life. We help set the captives free. (Not because God can’t do it without us, but because he wishes to use us this way.)

YES. We may say, “You have confessed, and you are forgiven. God absolves you. I, too, forgive you. Go in peace, and rest in his love.”

Please offer this to others. Ask for it on your behalf, too.

Will you comment on this topic, please? Your input is vital on this one. Thank you.

Thank you for coming here. Ed Cyzewski invited me to carrying on with his 5 minute Retreat series, “with my own spin”. This is day 2.

Let’s enjoy a time and space set aside for refreshment. (Please feel free to comment anytime. Sharing your experience is valuable for all of us.)

First,
prepare yourself to take a short rejuvenating break, by eliminating potential distractions. (Silence your phone, computer, shut your door, etc.)

Now, fold your hands. That’s right interlace your fingers as you clasp them together.

As you look at your hands, either your left or your right thumb will be on top. Many people hold their left thumb on the top. Which is it for you? (you can let us know in the comment section)

Now, re-clasp your fingers and thumbs so the opposite thumb is on the top.

It will feel unfamiliar, and perhaps “wrong” or slightly uncomfortable. (You can describe what it feels like to you in the comment section)

With your hands this unfamiliar way, take 3-5 deep inhales and exhales, slowly.

Think about the habits and routines in your life that you never really notice. Like… Tying your right shoe first, or sliding into your driver’s seat a certain way, preparing your coffee, brushing you teeth, or something more important, like checking your email first thing in the morning, or interacting with your kids.

Could this be a day where you can be extra aware of your daily habits? Today, could you survey all you do, and see if you want to change some things up?

Unfold your hands and fold them the uncomfortable way–again.

Pray about what make of the details in your life, that keep you from growing, or that keep you where you are, and not where you should be.

Do you need to forgive someone? Ask God to help you. Rely on his strength to forgive that person, through you, (with his strength) even if their are no warm feelings toward them, yet, or maybe ever.

Unforgiving habits are ruts we should overcome.

Try to fold and unfold your hands several times today to remind you of the habits you are in, and the ones that should change.

Stretch out your hands, arms, and body, and let out a big breath.

Take on the day!

Thanks for sharing this with me. May you be blessed.

My diagram for a "System" of Purity

Our freedom allows us to make choices that determine our purity and our innocence. So, freedom always includes responsibility, and purity can be regained. It is innocence that is untried.

In the cases were guilt may plague us, we may seek healing in the spiritual discipline of life confession, and then find it our acceptance of love and forgiveness. This happens best in Community, with the support of siblings in Christ.

This is also an act of worship.

Please share you thoughts on this, or a related theme.

Or you may tackle one of the following. Thanks.

• What have been your influencers with regards to purity?

• How has the media impacted your view of purity?

• What is the biggest struggle regarding your faith and your purity?

Resource used: Pages 126-8. Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us (Adele Ahlberg Calhoun -IVP Books ©2005)

For further reading: “Real Sex” -Lauren Winner

Jennifer Knapp

After over a 7 year break from music, Jennifer Knapp announces the release of her new album, and reveals her same sex relationship of 7 years in an interview with Christianity Today. (full article)

What will her fans do? How will she be treated in the Christian community?

Here’s my proposal:

Let the Judgment Begin!

(on ourselves)

Ask yourself a few important things:
What in your life should you look at more deeply?

If you like to come up with decisions about people, is it to make you feel better? And what other ways could work better?

What is your hidden payoff for taking the focus off your growth to focus on someone else’s shortcomings?

Are you hospitable?

Are you welcoming?

Are you loving?

Are you gracious with the same amount of grace you’ve been given?

Could these areas improve?

Let’s get serious, and List a few ways how we could work toward our own improvement, through God’s grace.

What does speaking any ill of Jennifer Knapp do for our practice of hospitality?

Or, for our Christ-likness?

Or, for our growing in the Love of Christ?

Do Christians HAVE TO be the best at shooting our own wounded ones?

Please, I beg you, no.

Let us enter into a concerted time of Spirit-led introspection, discovery, confession (to both God and each other), repentance, accountability, and ongoing, loving discipleship–in unity.

Sometimes these types of personal revelations seem interesting or fascinating–along the lines of scandal, intrigue, and excitement. Yet, it’s dangerous to fixate with our idle curiosity on public figures, like Knapp, or the ordinary people we know. It’s distracting. It misses the lesson. It skirts the point of the Kingdom.

The truth is, men and women like Knapp are in pews, or they are afraid to be, and they are on the fringes. They feel like they have to choose between being secretive, or being pushed out of the church community. If we had Christ-like hospitality, we would know about them. We would walk *with* them, not just talk *about* them.

But more importantly, if we weren’t so concerned about Knapp, in a judgmental way, we could do the deeper, and far harder work of looking within, and allowing God to work his sanctifying agency.

I pray no one vilifies Jennifer, rejects her, or condemns her. But, I think it will happen. The temptation is just so irresistible.  Laying waste to those anything like Knapp is so common, that it hardly seems wrong to our conscience, in general. We have this corny idea of righteous indignation, to give us motivation. But guess what? It’s more irresistible to gossip under the cover of righteous indignation, and far more common than same gender attraction! If we only had righteous indignation for our own problems, first, or ever! Imagine the spiritual growth then.

I don’t think we should applaud her, or marginalize her, but rather know that her journey is neither  yours, or mine, directly. When I think of her, I think of the words Jesus said.

^Matt.9:11-12When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

BUT-Here’s the distinction. I know this verse is about me. If you don’t realize you need God, and you need help, well, you won’t get any.

Besides that, It saddened me to read that in the article with CT, Jennifer said she was not involved in a church family now. We all need community, to be our best. What could be more beneficial to her than to be surrounded and supported by brothers and sisters in the faith? She dearly loves God. She continues to sing to him, and seek him, unabashedly. Now is not the time to focus on her particular statements, though. We have greater work to do. It’s the kind where personal change is truly possible–the kind within ourselves.

Let us love one another, for everyone who does not love, does not know God.

Here is my Schuylkill-News column (Notes from the Footpath) for Easter and Spring.

The whole copy is available free at various places in Berks and Schuylkill counties, in PA, or on Facebook.

Peace with God

(Prayer)

(Written for individuals, or use in hospice, end of life, or redemptive ministry.)

God,

I know you are my Creator, and I am not simply material that will return to the earth.

I desire peace with you, and to lay my burdens down.

(Here one may add specific concerns, guilt, offenses, or things that have made one’s heart heavy.)

I know you offer me relief, forgiveness, grace, and acceptance, freely–as a gift. I gratefully receive this from you.

You are the Highest, a Three-in-One God, who made me. Out of pure love, you redeemed me before time began, and during human history through the life, death, and resurrection of your Incarnation, The Christ, and you will comfort me with your Presence now. As I leave this world, receive me into your most loving Presence.

I am your child, coming to you.

Amen.

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Here are a few quotes from participants:

“All in all, one of the major things I gleaned from Brother Lawrence, was the similarity of my struggle to his battle, to get past punishing myself  for my failures and losing my focus on God. It seems that when BL finally internalized the concept of God’s grace, he realized that as soon as he saw the disconnect in his life it was foolish to waste time beating himself over it (asceticism, which could take that quite literally, especially in BL’s day!). He learned to immediately return to the position that was already his because of God’s grace, continuing in the joy of His presence.”

“I’m glad Brother Lawrence seems like such a regular guy. He prays things like “God, I can’t do this unless you help me,” and when he messes up, “God, I *always* do that, and if you don’t help me I won’t ever do better!” That I can relate to!”

“I loved that Brother Lawrence was his own man – it was just him and God becuase everyone elses ideas confused him, so he just went straight to God. It was nothing in between – he would just get up – own the difficulty and carry on!!”

“For me, Brother Lawrence broke down some of my pre-assumed barriers by helping to break the secular and sacred divide that has happened in my life. I have often thought… okay, now it’s prayer time, then work time, then church time, then social time… etc. In reality, those separations don’t exist, and it’s immensely helpful to integrate our whole lives.”

For more on -Explaining “online Learning Groups”- click on the tab above called “Learning Groups-Updates”

I am taking Christian Ethics with Dr. Miller at ETS. 

Our first assignment due this coming Monday was detailed thus: “Write a brief essay explaining his/her understanding of the relationship between the study of Ethics and ministry. “ 

I’ll include an excerpt of my paper, and how I kept my ethics class abreast of what has come to be known around here as “Nipple-gate”:

The entire episode (now termed “Nipplegate,” by some) reflects the ethical dilemma of my vocation. I have a role to play as a writer with a Christian worldview, and I am attempting to minister to Christians and non-Christians. Not everyone will be happy all of the time with what is authored and portrayed at my blog. This is an obvious impossibility. Predilections, doctrines, and convictions vary a great deal within my viewing audience. However, I have an undeniable ethical responsibility to my readership to well-reflect the standards of the God I love and serve. The questions become–what is truly suitable to allow at my site; and where and how must I draw the line that distinguishes personal preferences from God’s standards?

Thus far, I have come to a resolution to make all reasonable efforts to conduct the affairs of my site in excellence, with the hopes that in so doing, it will not make others stumble. (This has always been my philosophy, but in this case, it was botched as I let an aspect of the site remain out of exceptionally close oversight.) My overall method is not foolproof for avoiding every glitch, but it is a deliberate vision for my work.

A bit of perspective is in order too. Not just for the way I think about my work, and the way I offer it up to readers, but for promoting the worldview I believe–in, and of, itself. Yes, each decision we make counts in the big picture, but how much better to see the big picture first, and then zoom in from a bigger view, down, into ordinary life. God, perfect and holy, is our guiding Light. God’s laws and rules do not just give us a guide; they mirror the character of God himself. His perfection is the standard and starting point for our choices. Seen this way, we are better able to make wise and ethical decisions.

That being said, it is the overarching decisions that carry the most import. So when Jesus sums up all the law and the prophets into the Great Commandment2, this is not an annulment of the law, but an encompassing of it. Sometimes in and among the nitpicking decisions and details of our conduct choices– even during our attempts to be righteous–we miss the Great Command altogether. God is marginalized by the rules themselves, and neighbors are trampled more than anything. It seems if the Spirit of the command is upheld, much of the rest can sorted out more easily.

When we attempt to deal in microcosms of various everyday ethical situations, we must not miss the point of the greater good, as God defines it. God defines it in the essence of who he truly is. His nature and character are the basis for our decisions that we must work out in practical and contextual ways. As we bump up against perfection, with our solutions, we come up as less-than-perfect. We inevitably do not meet the standard. Thus, we prove our need for God’s grace and forgiveness, and the grace and forgiveness of those around us. It is failed ethics balanced by applied grace that sustains, and saves us from the ethical ideals we can never attain, but must continually aim for, as they are reflections of Reality itself.

It will be my approach to apply the Great Commandment as the ethical plan in my ministry. As a foundation for my will, thoughts, motives, and deeds, my hope is to strive to keep these things fully loyal to God, the author and finisher of my faith; and to keep his human creation honored. This loyalty will mean laying aside self, and selfish ambition, but not just for the greater good. In reality, I will be attempting to set my life toward the world as is truly is, with God as the source of good, and goodness. This way will also be a light, enacted with those to whom I minister, as it reveals my core beliefs, Christian worldview, and the truth of God as revealed in Scripture.

 I’d love to hear your reflections on the topic of ethics in ministry, or any related topic I’ve discussed here. Thank you for reading.

-Lisa

To you, is he missing or lost?

Dear Christians,

When was the last time you made a stupid mistake, or took a wrong turn?

Did anyone ask if you were lost?

If someone asks, “Are you lost?” It can feel like a pointed remark. It emphasizes what is wrong, not what could be right. Most don’t enjoy feeling lost, being called lost, or being accused of being disoriented, and confused. Do you?

It’s often best to take the references to “being lost” in Biblical stories in their typical context of searching and finding something dear and misplaced. (Think: 1 lost sheep of the 100, the lost and valuable coin, etc.) What is lost is not something denigrated, but something worthy/lovable and missing from home. It is not speaking of a foreign thing, or scrappy thing.

Often Christians talk of “The Lost” (the sinner) though not in the context of finding them, but of fixing them. It doesn’t only strike me as rather rude, but it strikes most people this way. Since it’s typical “church speak,” most Christians are totally immune to its unloving sound.

The fact is we all feel a bit lost sometimes. We all feel lonely or afraid at points. It is when we can awaken to the Reality of God’s consistent love and power, and especially when we experience it from others, that we may see huge transformations for the better. Even then, we will still have our ups and downs, but the chance to have joy (sturdy happiness) and then, when a fuller, more abundant life is accessible. This is truly a gift of grace, (not merit).

As children of God, God’s love can show through us, like the father in the story of the Prodigal son, who exclaimed when his son came home, “He was lost, but is now found!” Did he want to fix him? Did he want to teach him a lesson? Hit him? Did he want to get him tested for HIV, ground him, give him a tongue lashing, or tell him what was right and wrong? Um. nope. The son knew already. Most missing people know right and wrong all too well, also. Many think they won’t be welcomed “home,” or think of the community of Christians as “home.” So, they can think, why should they bother trying? Ironical, isn’t it? Hospitality and hospital come from the same root word, and this manner of comfort just must be there to truly show God’s love.

What is a “missing one”? This one is not a person who is less than. It it not one to whom another human should “straighten out,” and save to the narrow path. People aren’t that powerful, and shouldn’t think they are. It’s just tacky. Most of it involves, standing true, and getting out of the way so grace can work its amazing-ness. God doesn’t need us to hold his hand. He asks us for our loyalty, but not just in our love to him-it is in our love to others from the perspective in which he sees them also.

How do you see it?

photo credit Creative Commons Andy Piper