Lisa Colón DeLay

Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:

1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.

2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.

(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)

I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.

Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.

A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.

Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.

So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.

• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.

• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.

• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.

• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.

• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for others things.

# # #

When was the last time you got away?

 If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.

I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.

Left Hand Rotation via Compfight

So I curate a Leadership Blog at a graduate school…

This means sometimes I write for it myself, and sometimes I find great guest writers who write for us or allow us to repost previously posted articles.

I scope out the inter webs for insightful and practical articles for anyone in a leadership position…from a small group leader, to a parent, to an influential thinker and writer, to a minister, to a business owner. Anyone who influences someone else is in a position of leadership.

[BTW-send me your links of leadership articles or pitch me your ideas. I'd love to have new voices posted at the Deeper Leader blog!]

There’s a lot of information out there, but there’s a big blind spot too.

I’ve noticed something. Not too many male leaders list women authors, leaders, and thinkers in their blogrolls or refer to them in posts. You don’t see that women influence them. What about Christian male leaders? It seems twice as bad.

Michael Hyatt’s “Intentional Leadership” blog is a favorite of mine. I LOVE it. But have you noticed that not one video on his homepage sidebar features a female leader? Does he even realize the omission? Should he maybe be more intentional on this part….I think yes!

(and so should I! I need to question who I read and why. I have a blind spot too.)

Let’s mind the gap.

As I prepare articles to begin announcing our 1st annual Women in Ministry: Conversations with Leaderships forum (June 12) I realize the glut. It’s massive.

So, what’s up?

• Is it that men don’t give it much thought? (an innocent blind spot that is likely borne of “male privilege“?)

• Is there a hidden bias or disregard for female leaders, and even among female leaders themselves?

and do men feel less manly if they read women authors? Any of that going on?

• Do men think, “Sure, I support women, but women leaders speak mainly to women and not to me”?

Let’s ask some hard and honest questions while at the same time not blaming, dividing and separating from each other. Let’s move the conversation forward!

I, for one, am going to assume the best from my male writers and friends. I’m going to put my trust and hope in the idea that if we bring the imbalance to greater attention and awareness maybe we can chip away at the disparity and both genders will be richer for it!

• What about you?

Are the top ten blogs or books you read written by a balance of men and women? If, so why or why not?

Are you taking the time to learn from someone else’s purview?

• How do we do better at offering others the chance to hear insights from the whole breath of the human species? 

• What can we do about the blind spot?

LINK UP & Join Forces?

If you’d like to participate in the conversation, write an article and leave the link in the comments section. I’ll put the word out about your post too!

Andi Cumbo is tackling this and a few others. Will update soon!

I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.

Gleanings

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.

• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.

• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.

• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.

Communication and Transactions

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.

• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.

The biggest reason people divorce? 

• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)

The most important things we can teach our children?

• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)

Once a week for the next 2 months I will be covering the topic of discernment. We’ll learn how to discern much better!

I can hardly think of a theme that comes up more often than “trying to find our way”.

Especially for those of us who create or try to be intentional and grow.

Some think of discernment as “finding God’s will”, some as “knowing with path to take at a fork in the road”, some as “discovering or actualizing one’s calling”, and some think of it as learning to be better and more consistently attuned to God’s voice.

Many don’t realize that about 500 years ago a very keen and practical guide to discernment was created to teach Christians and Christian leaders how to discern the voice of God. Through the practice of these Spiritual Exercises (Ignatius of Loyola), we can be guided with far less angst and far greater freedom and peace as we choose our way and listen for God’s voice.

Millions of believers have undertaken learning and applying these sage writings on the topic, and consequently have better allowed the Holy Spirit to guide their life. Others find great solace in participating in Ignatian retreats. The spirituality influenced by Ignatian involves “find God in all things” and “laboring with God in the divine project of healing the world”. Prayer and action are combined as the spiritual muscles of experiencing God’s abundant love and hearing his voice develop.

Since basic theology tells us that God is everywhere present.  (Of course, whether we actually live this out as we believe it is antoher matter.)

Like King David tells us of God in his poetry, there is no place God is not. Psalm 139.

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave,^a you are there.

The study and exercise of Ignatian principles to improve the abilities of discernment involve the intellect, emotion, memory, and will.

I’ll be sharing those ways and methods here regularly to help you become categorically better at discernment.
Starting now:

What is the first exercise in learning discernment?
Preparing the “soil of one’s heart”.

Imagine that you’ve never run more than a few blocks in your entire lifetime. And maybe when you did it was just to avoid getting bitten by a dog or to catch the ice cream truck. How easy would it be to get up out of bed one early Saturday morning and complete a marathon without ever training your body?  (What is it 26 point something miles? UGH.)

OUCH. . .would be the key word. Oh, and failure.

Beneficial and godly discernment requires that your heart and mind do some prep work too. Some inventory and reflection is needed. Some opening of our will to God. Some asking God to make you ready to hear his voice, change and work on your heart and mind, and improve your hearing (mainly, but not just the spiritual kind).

Start with these few questions:

Focus in on the area that requires discernment then ask,
1. What have I done in the past?

2. What am I doing now?

3. What ought I to do in the future OR What do I hope for the future?

Try to be as specific as possible with your answers. Write them down, pray about them, and revisit them later.
This is no easy sledding and it helps to have a companion along the way.

More on discernment next week!

For more information about help with discernment in your life click here.

If you don’t want to miss a post click here to to get the next ones sent by Email.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling right now or at a crossroads? Would you please tell them about this Series?

Will you pray for me? I’m learning discernment too.
And please don’t leave without sharing something that I can pray about for you.

Yes, this is the start of a Blog Moratorium in Tribute to the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre , but for personal refletion too.

It doesn’t get past me that just as I gear up to spend 13 weeks teaching about the Problem of Evil a horrifying massacre of 6-7 year olds and their teachers and staff occurs.

I have a lot of information about how Evil works right on tap. But, I just can’t go there.

I know that we all react in shock about events such as these. We ask, “How could Evil be so close and innocence shattered so senselessly?” There is rage, anger, hatred. Emotions aplenty. And I know too that Evil runs right down each one of us too. It’s never merely “out there” or far off. If so labeled it shifts, it seeps, amorphous and eludes being so easily understood or classified.

The pain is so raw. The horror so near. The terror so frightening.

A nightmare.

Too soon people have started barking about gun control, and mentioning mental illness, and our crumbling society …all looking for reasons to make it all go down easier. But, right now, I’m just heartbroken. The weight of the brokenness of the world is here and present. Christmas is coming, and yet we lie ruined. Truly ruined. Hope feels like a faint whisper barely intelligible. A wisp.

I’m taking off for a few days. No blog posts. I’m going to reflect. Quietly. By myself. Away from it all and on the interior. Before the year is out, I’ll make another appearance. Thank you for your prayer for me at this time too for things I won’t mention at this time.

In the meantime, join me in prayer for the community and families of those affected by this violence.

Dear God,

Soothe our broken hearts.

How much pain, O’ God!

We cry out in agony…undone.

Have mercy on us

Bring us peace.

Bind up our wounds

Wash us with your Grace.

Grant us the strength to carry on 

And the resolve to not give up

Renew our hope in you and grant that we may forgive

So we ourselves are spared more pain.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Amen

There are 0 spots left for the 2013 Cadre group.

Please, contact me if you would like to be selected for a future group.

Are you a good fit for THE CADRE?

(This will take 9-14 minutes to read. If you can’t read it, you may have your answer already. But, don’t give up. Feel free to come back again when you have the time.)

The What?

The Cadre is the name given to a designated collection of people ready to share our projects, ideas, concerns, dreams, and hopes, beginning February 2013, and facilitated/lead by me (Lisa). (Sorry if the last part is too obvious.)

Who Are You, Lisa?

You don’t know me yet? Poke around on the website a little.
In short, I’m a long-time writer, teacher, learner, and artist experienced and trained in both Spiritual Formation and Leadership studies at the Masters level (M.A.). I write, teach and engage in spiritual consultations and companioning with groups and individuals.

I’ve grown to greatly enjoy the give-and-take of learning together and companioning with others on our journey toward overall health and well-being, healing, and maturity in all aspects of life (mental, spiritual, emotional, etc.). More about me is summarized at the “Who’s Lisa?” page. And then there’s Google too. 

This Cadre-thing Starts When? It starts February 2013 (and lasts 12 months). This is the gathering and get-to-know-each-other stage.

Are you selling something? 

No. It’s free to be involved. But, it does cost something: Some devotion.

Who’s involved or will be involved?

The Cadre is being gathered right now. Those in the small core group are and will be of similar mind and spirit in the areas of vocation. Meaning, we will all feel a special call on our lives to live bigger lives, use our creativity, and grow as people even if it gets hard. This group of cohort friends is committed to learning, growing, and sharing their lives with each other more deeply than is typical (especially online) for the duration of 1 year. (More on this in the FAQ section)

Why Do it?

The noise of this present world makes it difficult to deepen friendships and really help each other consistently. The Cadre changes all that. Have you noticed that you are more “connected” (or maybe interrupted) than ever, but still feel like intimacy or beneficial connection is still woefully insufficient? If so, you might be a good fit.

How can I be part of it?

Just a few will be invited for membership, and the rest, perhaps you, may simply request admittance, if you’re interested. Please read further to see if this is a good fit for you. Remember, admittance into the core group is necessarily selective and limited to only a maximum of about 20 “groupies”.

How will this group interact?

The general hub and public touchpoint for The Cadre may be found at Facebook.com/TheCadre360. This page is open to anyone interested in what we’re up to, anyone in the core group (20 or less), or anyone waiting for a spot in the core group, should it come to that. The main interactions for The Cadre core group will be in a closed (fully private) Facebook group. Regular interaction in many other forms is likely (email, Skype, in-person, podcasts, and more.)

More Info & FAQ, if you’re still reading…

Why call it “The Cadre”?

The working definition of cadre for our purposes is the following:

ca·dre/ˈkadrē/ Noun: A small group of people specially trained for a particular purpose or profession.

What’s this Cadre’s “purpose”?

Though we may have different political views, backgrounds, experiences, or faith traditions, this core group will likely be composed of Creative types: eager learners, writers, teachers, artists, musicians, leaders, and the insatiably curious. The purpose is to learn, grow, and help each other out with our projects, creations, personal growth, and life in general as we dedicate ourselves to journeying together for a full year.

Think of this group as a growing tight-knit family of choice, a guild equipped for the digital age and ready to explore new ideas, read, learn, grow, and encourage each other in our unique and cooperative endeavors for a predetermined period of time. We will “train” each other for the purposes or professions that now reside in our longings and hopes.

What sort of “Projects” might be involved?

For some that might be a new project, work-of-art, book, a cause, or start-up company. For others it might be more abstract like emotional healing, having better relationships, or for some other sort of personal or spiritual growth. Each person will have a unique idea or an area or areas of progress or growth that they hope to improve.

What will this full year look like?

During this year, we will get to know each other, get feedback from one another on our unfolding projects. We’ll keep each other accountable and have each other’s backs. We’ll collaborate, pray for each other, and be a kind of beta test lab for each other. Through our connections we’ll network to help each other reach our dreams, “evangelize” for each other’s work, and generally be committed friends, not just online, but in real life when we get a chance to meet up.

How much time will it take?

A few minutes a day (5-15 mins), and sometimes more time than that. The core group should be made up of  people who have regular online access throughout the day, and enjoy interaction, encouragement, input, and cultivating deepening friendships.

Does it cost something?

It’s free but it costs something. You need to invest yourself. As with many things that don’t come super easily, the rewards greatly outweigh the investment of time.

This sounds like a friendship. I already have those. What’s the difference?

Well, it is an upgrade from a typical friendship. It’s more covenantal and consistent. For one, the commitment and involvement is there from the start. While we may have best friends we enjoy and love to share time with, these friendships may sometimes be sort of casual or circumstance-based. The Cadre is intentional. 

I think I like this, what should I do now?

Connect with me and let me know. Facebook.com/TheCadre360

Seriously, a friendship upgrade?

Yes. For instance,when a friend is busy we might not interact with him or her as much, and it can become a come-and-go association that doesn’t have the potent ingredients to propel either of us forward consistently. Friendships necessarily have seasons, too.

That’s normal, but these days it’s truly is harder to make time for each other. We may have many “friends”, yet still feel alone in the world or while pursuing our dreams. In the Cadre the immediate benefits are belonging and support. Not the removal of all longing, mind you, but rather we long together, and not alone. Everyone in the core group of The Cadre is carving out time for the group and each other from the start. It makes a big difference.

So, okay, this situation promotes growth better, but is it really worth it?

You bet. It’s not easy to come by, but trust happens with consistent interaction and mutual care. The rewards are greater when we create a deeper level of commitment at the onset. In education and learning, this setup is sometimes called a cohort. A group of students will travel together through each course and build bonds that enhance learning and life, as well as create life-long friendships and cohesive networking for the future. It’s like feeding your interaction and relationships with Miracle Grow, and your whole life benefits from this overflowing of connection and camaraderie.

12 months? What if I can’t or don’t want to be in this group for 12 months? 

Before you decide to share your life with others this way, think about it. Make sure it’s workable for you, that it lines up with what you long for, and that it is something you want to put your heart into. (What you put into it, you will can get out of it.) There may be a few days here and there when you can’t connect, and that’s fine, yet the core group of The Cadre will function like a team. No one is benched because everyone is a first-string Starter.

What if I’m not very comfortable with commitment?

Lots of people aren’t that comfortable with commitment. I’ve struggled with this. Some of the reason for it is that we don’t get enough practice at it, and it seems too demanding. When this happens, we avoid going deeper and we don’t invest long enough to see the rich and lasting gifts it brings. To join in, bravery is important.

Though this commitment should be taken seriously it should be seen as a relief, not a burden. Ask yourself, “Would it be nice to know that someone wants to connect with me regularly, cares about me, and is not only looking forward to the interaction, but joined the group just for this purpose?” Ask yourself, “Would I like to be an important part of someone else’s life so we rely on each other and help and care for each other?”

That said, if you commit to a deepening friendship with core members but then for good reason you can’t contribute to the group anymore, you may leave to make room for someone else. You won’t be shunned or shamed, but you will be missed.

There are lots of small groups out there. What are the specific things you’ll offer, Lisa?

I (Lisa) will personally pour myself into your life in a way that is helpful to you, and I’ll ask the same from you. I love growing deeper friendships and I’m willing and ready to be a good friend for the long haul, encouraging each other to achieve goals and gaining greater abundance in life.

PLEASE NOTE: I’ve limited the core number to just 20 because I feel that any more than that might hinder me from making the kinds of personal and deep connections I hope to have during this time. I hope to interact with more people outside the small group as well, but in a less-committed and more casual way, because I realize that deeper friendships take more time and investment.

I’m embarking in studies and projects in a very introspective and practical leadership development Masters level program. The Cadre will function as a needed companion cohort during that time. (I won’t be getting out much.) The Cadre is a great way to have nurturing friendships and do life together in an organized way, so it’s actually feasible. My studies center on personal growth, and training occurs in servant-leadership models and applications. As I learn I will share.

My other friendships and relationships, while dear to me, don’t contain this level of commitment 100% of the time–which means they also don’t always have the corollary benefits of that commitment as well.

Sometimes, I’ll need an extra set of eyes for things I’m working. I’ll appreciate your input, ideas, and constructive critique. Sometimes you amy need another set of eyes for a project you have going. The core group will get access to a lot of helpful information and resources, and be there as ideas germinate and develop. Sometimes we’ll collaborate from the ground up. Materials like curriculum, digital and print books, resources and guides, connections to leaders and speakers (Lenard Sweet, Amy Sherman, are some for summer 2013), retreat/vacations, podcasts, interviews, blog series, collaborative projects, initiatives, and other stuff I’m dreaming up will be developed during, and grow out of, my education and our time together. We will partner not just on my projects but on yours as well. (Ben Arment has a slightly analogous effort he callsDream Year, but the core group of The Cadre is more of a community, learning, and incubator-type environment. Oh, and it’s free, not 12 Grand. snap.)

Well, commitment is scary. Why do you keep saying that word?

Yes. Intimacy is risky. I’ve struggled with issues of trust too, and I’ve also learned that I’m stronger to have risked and hit bumps and worked through them than to have stayed isolated, unchallenged, with little to show for it. A commitment of friendship means that things might not always be smooth. But, things will be sturdy nonetheless.

If things get bumpy or misunderstandings occur in relationships, if trust or commitment is absent, the relationships falter. What’s worse is that our growth atrophies; because it is in negotiating or working out the problems that arise where we can truly grow and learn the most about ourselves and others. We gain strength and character that way. In the present-day media-driven world of continual interruptions, few relationships have a level of commitment that gets us to the stage that can be both “painful” and rewarding. Commitments also mean we have stronger support in reaching our dreams. The bonds are tighter and help us more.

Why didn’t you invite me to the core group, I thought we were close?

If you haven’t been invited it is not personal, at all. My vision for this core group is to form through earnest requests to come onboard, not primarily through my pleas or invitations. If you visit this site a lot, you could be a good candidate. You already show you have the time and interest. If we’re friends, but you really don’t know what I’m up to, maybe now isn’t a good time to be this involved.

Also, the idea isn’t to have a clique of “my besties” but rather to give first preference of admittance to those who are most likely to give a good bit of themselves the whole time, and benefit most from the experience. That works best when each participant makes his or her own personal decision to be involved.

I hope if you want to be a part of it, you’ll contact me right away. If you’re willing, so am I!
(Click the contact button to message me, link up at the Facebook page, or let me know in the blog comments sections.)

What if I find out that someone else is in the group that I don’t like?

Then consider it God’s divine work that you should be able to engage more potently with someone who is a challenge for you. God is always at work, in you and that person. This is a blessing.

What if I want to continue for more than 1 year?

12 months is the minimum expectation. I’m happy to continue beyond that, if you are. No limits.

What if I’m left out?

I’ll be sorry to turn anyone away, if it comes to that, but I must put a boundary on the core group from the outset. This group can only be as large as I can be personally involved with each person well. It may only be 5 people, or it could be up to 20. I’m not sure who will be ready or willing, so it will be a learning process for all of us, but I’ll give it my best. If there’s more interest than there are spots available, I will gather a waiting list. When a spot opens, I’ll draw from that list to fill the spot.

So I can still be involved somehow if the 20 spots fill up?

Yes. Once the spots are filled there will be ways to be more than just an observer at a distance. Stay tuned at The Cadre360 Facebook page Facebook.com/TheCadre360.

What if I appreciate the idea, but I know I don’t have the time right now?

If you like the idea of The Cadre in general, but know you don’t have the time to be too committed, please “like” the Facebook page (Facebook.com/TheCadre360.) and just follow along. This will be a external hub for this dynamic “Tribe”. We’ll be sharing some things along the way. When we complete projects, collaborate, or launch something we’ll be excited to share that with you, and you’ll be the first to know.

That was a lot to read.

You should be commended!

Do you have other questions? Please send any other questions you have and I’ll try to answer them as soon as possible.

Thank you for your interest.

This is a video, a Advent Meditation. I met Tammy in person this September. She lives in Community in Chicago, and they received me as their guest. I always find her raw honesty and artistic sensibilities inspirational. This video is part of a larger series…

As you watch it, listen. Listen well. Listen 2 or 3 times, because it’s full and rich and good for you. Absorb it and experience hope.

(to read the words, click here)

I just loved this video (from Christine Sine) and I hope it can serve you too as a tool for a renewed and refreshed awareness of God’s holy presence. Give yourself 5 full minutes to listen, enjoy, and worship.

Have a Blessed Advent Season.

YEP. Good news about free stuff!

Right after we feast like mad and express our gratitude and thankfulness we charge out to buy and shop! I’ve always thought this was the strangest thing…But, the sales do seem unbeatable, right?

Confession: I can’t handle the bustle. I grow weary so fast from shopping, let alone doing it amid crowds and while fighting chock-a-block traffic. What about you?

Perhaps Cyber Monday is a different kind of bustle?…nevertheless….

I have some things for you. It won’t cost anything. And you don’t have to get “malled” or drive anywhere.

Click  ”Kindle Bookshelf”. (4 FREE books)

On Monday 11/26/2012 all four of my digital (Kindle) books are free for the taking. ONE Day only. (One of the four has not been offered for free until now, and it won’t happen again anytime soon.)

Here’s a secret! If you DON’T have a kindle or a kindle app, you can still click to buy, and Amazon houses them for you, for whenever you want them, on which ever device you choose. So, if you’re getting a kindle for Christmas, click to get them now, and enjoy them later.

I do hope you enjoy them.

If you would please leave an Amazon review, I would be most grateful! I have lots of people reading, but hardly anyone leaving reviews yet. So, I need your help!

Season’s Blessings!

-Lisa

P.S. Spread this good news with a Tweet or two, please?

(If you miss your chance, don’t fret. Each is only $3. Way less than a latte at Starbucks. Amazon lets you read sample pages. Try each one and see what you like!)

Today as a regular contributor at the Deeper Leader Blog, I’m linking in with them, and tackling the topic of Mentoring today.

I’ve always seen the value in having the aid of someone a bit further down the road from me.

As a kid, camp counselors provided this a bit. In undergraduate school, my academic advisor turned out to be a helpful voice in my life, and in my profession, but not someone who had a heart for God. At church, I had prayer partners, and in graduate school a few ladies had mentoring qualities I really appreciated. None of them though really nailed what I was looking for. It took over ten years to pair up with a trained spiritual guide that made sense for me.

It happened in a most unexpected way. I went outside of my Christian tradition (Evangelical) and attended a very enriching day of personal guided prayer at a Jesuit Spiritual Center during the season of Lent. There I heard Sister Maria and I thought, “This woman is like a female Gandalf. I need her!”

But she was booked in that area and could take me on. :(

I continued speaking with her and asking for her help. Maybe she had a clone I could work with, I suggested.

But she didn’t have a clone and thought that was a strange idea to be cloned in the first place.

She did send me to a lovely, wise, grandmotherly woman who became my formal spiritual director, and I continue to meet with her each month.

Like a thought it would be, the benefit of a mentor is invaluable.
A spiritual guide, companion, advocate and advisor with maturity has incalculable worth in our lives. It’s no wonder that so many leaders fail, or ministers fall off into affairs, pornography or other addictions so readily. They don’t make guidance a priority. The accountability and advocacy that a spiritual guide brings doesn’t remove the bumpy pathces, but it certainly makes them more bearable!

It took me over 10 years to find one, but it was worth it.

For those who seek a mentor I have some advice:

• KEEP LOOKING! (push discouragement aside!)
• Ask around. A lot.
• Find a spiritual center that trains spiritual companions
(Evangelicals do not seem to have this in ANY abundance, but Catholics are really into it.)
• Make the first move, (don’t wait to be asked by a mentor, approach him or her)
• A directory of spiritual companions may help find you someone, but if you don’t find a good fit on the first try, keep looking.

Don’t know where to start? Here’s a large directory (international, with various spiritual traditions included)
at Spiritual Directors International.

What about you? Have you ever had a mentor or spiritual guide? If not, what do you hope for in a mentor?
Share your story at the Deeper Leader Blog, or read what other have to say.

You know you’re lost in the weeds when frustration sets in.

The weeds.

That’s the place off the narrow path.

And what’s the common wisdom for those who are lost? Stay put.

You will be found.

And indeed, it’s not that God will look for you and find you.

Because he knows just where you are. And he knows you.

You will instead awaken to him, and finally

Notice that he’s beside you, and you are not lost at all.

The benefit of a solid theology

Is knowing that there is no place that God is not.

O, God, let me find you in the weeds.

Although the act and habit aof worry may come from biological sources, retraining our habits can move us from worry (negative) toward meditation (positive). Make sure to check out the difference and similarities between the two that are shown in visual form in the last post.

Use these three words to start retraining yourself.

STOP.

VISUALIZE.

REMEMBER.

Stop.
This means the second you realize that you’re caught in a “Worry Spiral” put yourself on pause.  Try to back out of this cycle and see it for what it is. Imagine yourself 3 years from now. Ask yourself ” Is the situation really worthy of the heavy cost that worry will bring me?” How else could I respond? What lie might I be believing as I worry?

Visualize.
This has helped me quite a bit. When I feel stuck in my worry. I to imagine that I’m pulling out all my worry from me, like a bunch of crumpled, dirty paper chunks. Then I imagine handing over to Jesus to hold. He takes what I give and it changes into light. Give it a try for yourself. It’s form of prayer. Or think of something that would help you more than my example. What could you repeatedly visualize to hand over your worry? Go back to this each time you are caught in a Worry Spiral. Note how you feel before and after do this.

Remember.
Remember you are walking with God. There is no place God is not. Each time you practice handing over your worry to God it will be easier to remember to do it when needed in the future. What other ways can you remember to center your repeated thoughts to not spiral but instead revolve around our loving and all-powerful God?

In the Old Testament thousands of everyday and seasonal reminders where built into the Jewish culture to be ever mindful of God’s provision, care, presence, goodness, and love. From food, to ways of dress, to festivals, to rituals, and much more various reminders where infused into life. We don’t live the same way now, but we can bring in our new, personal remembrances.

What have you done lately to break your “worry spiral”?

Today, I’m elucidating the anatomy of Worry in contrast with Meditation using this handy dandy visual I made.

Notice the differences.

Worry and Meditation have commonalities.

• Both activities involve circling/cycling, repeated thoughts, but how they circle is very different and give us different outcomes.

(monotheistic) Meditation centers on the good supreme God, and often the One described in the Bible. The love and presence of God energizes the one meditating. Thoughts and cares are kept in close contact with God, not one’s self or self-interests. Prayer, worship, and centering are interrelated with meditation.

In Worry (in Christians or any one) thoughts are repetitive and  ingrown, not centered on apart from self and move toward collapse, snuffing out our energy and health. Worry thoughts stay with the self, and do not move outward or around a stabilizing idea or deity. This causes degeneration into a Worry Spiral that undercuts growth, health, and well-being. Other problems may arise like illness, anxiety disorders, depression, paranoia, and much more.

In part 3, I’ll unpack how to move from Worry, which is negative, to Meditation which is peace and life-giving.

Did you read the previous Post? Please read Part 1 of this series where I discuss some common misunderstanding of Worry.

Do you think I got it right? What does Worry and Meditation look like for you?
Please, let me know.

• Recycling is when you take what appears to be garbage and you reform or reuse it again. But what’s this “up-cycle” stuff?

• Upcycling is when one converts waste materials or useless items into new materials or products of better quality or for better environmental value.

The act and habit of worrying can be upcycled and in the next few posts I’ll unravel that.

First–
Stuff you might not know about WORRY:

1. Out-of -balance hormones can spike worry. A dip in progesterone in women or a drop in testosterone in men, for instance.

(This means that you can’t always get a handle on worry just by “thinking your way out of it”. There’s biological component.)

2. Anxiety (often seen as worry and other related problems) can be a genetic predisposition that runs in families, like heart disease can.

3. Changing habits can lessen worry, much like eating a good diet can help slim you down even if you come from a family that’s…um..big boned.

The Hopeful News…
If you have a knack for worry (negative), then you may have a great capacity to meditate (positive). Prayer and mediation are almost synonyms, and overwhelming evidence shows that the use of prayer/meditation improves one’s level of anxiety, well-being, and health. Worry is a Soul issue. That means it’s more than mental or spiritual (the Soul is the whole of you and who you are). Soul Care address this. So, here we go!

Getting to a good place is NOT like throwing a switch, so I’ll start to tackle ways to move toward Upcycing worry more this week.

(photo source)

Just a short a reflection on the nature of weirdness, today, from the jumping off point off…

Photography.

(You thought I was going to say Vice Presidential debates, right?)

It’s occurred to me that with copious current technology (like iPhones, and Instagram, etc) all of us can be photographers.

Not good ones, necessarily, but we can all attempt to capture a real life image to keep for later.
Photos are plentiful. So, what rises up above the noise?

Two things:

1. A unique or usual perspective

2. Weirdness

What is meant by the word “weird” anyway?

It’s something that catches off-gaurd or seems “not quite right”. Weird can be interesting or ghastly.

Most of all, weirdness provokes thought or response. It engages us somehow.

We need it. As people and as artists. Otherwise we somehow fall asleep…in all the wrong ways.

At the Story conference in Chicago, Erwin McManus said poignantly,

You don’t have to have hope to create art, but you have to have hope to create beauty.

Art can be both weird and beautiful.
Sometimes art needs to be ugly. It serves an important purpose. But in “ugly” themes we shouldn’t stay put, because then we arrive at inaccuracy. Lasting and excellent art (and creative expression) is where beauty and accuracy intersect. Not asethetic beauty, mind you. Something more. Something deeper that exposes underlying ideals of goodness or truth in its many facets.

Tell me…What was the last WEIRD thing you created or found?

Also…what do you think about the featured man-dog photo? weird? cute? funny? creepy?

(photo source)

 Ranker, hype, and vitriol.

It’s about 30 Days until the 2012 Presidential election, and you can really tell.

I’ve tried to not get wound up. I’ve tried to ignore the surround-sound ejeculations of venom. But, it’s hard to not get sucked into all the emotion and survive the cross-fire unscathed.

 Big Bird even made the casualty list…Yes, the huge, friendly, yellow character for pre-schoolers on TV. Bear in mind that citizen support will never wane enough to make our feathered friend, or his cohorts, extinct. But, that fact doesn’t cull the madness, does it?

There’s looniness in the air!

It’s a soiling season, so I’ve tried to think of a few way to vitriol-proof myself. Maybe you can share a few tips. Here’s a few I’m using:

1. Unplug.
Short media fasts can reorient me to what’s most important: My regular life, the people nearest to me, and my deepest values that have much to do with Grace.

2. Think long-term.
As much as people “say so-and-so” will ruin everything forever, that’s 95% fear doing the talking. No vote will truly change as much as people say. (Insert which ever name you want to for “so-and-so”, both sides are tooting this horn.) I’m trying to regularly take a few steps back and try to gain wisdom from a more far-sighted perspective. It does help.

3. Feel powerless.
Huh? It may sound ridiculous to say it like that, but seriously, not too much is truly under our control. Admtting this is the first step for me. Changes, for good or for bad, do happen slower than we care to admit. So much is out of our immediate control. Policies, weather, illness, media, cultural hype, and much more. We can control our responses, but not others. We don’t get that much say and the frenzy is proof of that underlying fear.

…which leads me to #4!

4. Be a Duck.
A duck is the water foul that has the sort of feathers to make water bead and roll off, not soak in and cause problems. I try to think of this as a way of being. Unflappable. It’s engaged thoughtfulness sandwiched by what’s known in spiritual formation circles, and ancient Christian tradition, as “holy indifference”. That doesn’t mean I’m apathetic, it means I’m centered on the Source of Goodness through faith, and not tossed to and fro by opinions, circumstances, or any perceived impeding doom. (This takes loads of practice for me! I’m passionate, and through practice I’ve started to learn when to let that loose and when to dail it in. Though I fail too much, I continue the effort.)

Have you been effected and affected by these acerbic times?

What helps you?

We can live without romance and power, but there’s more potent that we all hope to have. When it’s been missing we get so thristy for it.

Acceptance.

Gladys M. Hunt wrote,

Acceptance means you are valuable just as you are.

It allows you to be the real you. You are not forced into someone else’s idea of who you are.

It means your ideas are taken seriously since they reflect you. You can talk about how you feel inside, why you feel that way, and someone really cares.

Acceptance means you can try out your ideal without being shot down. You can even express heretical thoughts and discuss them with intelligent questioning.

You feel safe.

No one will pronounce judgment on you even though they don’t agree with you. It doesn’t mean you’ll never be corrected or shown to be wrong. It simply means it’s safe to be you and no one will destroy you out of prejudice.

Where have you felt this?

This is my son Nathan.
He’s 12.5 years old.

It’s been a rough few days with him. It’s a dicey combo mixing burgeoning adolescence and the Autistic experience.

His will is strong and he’s often unreasonable. He thinks he’s the rightful King of his world and ours; and I’ve felt discouraged about how poorly things have been going.

But…today, he built these glasses, and it got me to thinking about perspective.

And it gave me a new one.

What’s the bigger lesson here?

What if our windows of perspective are cloudy?

What if the shutters are closed?

How will an obstructed view hurt my ability to guide, lead, or learn?

Will I even be able to notice how poor my vision is?
And how can I get help seeing better?

It’s true that our perspective is limited.

The fact is easy to miss.
We flare with emotion in the dearth of comprehending how perspective works, or doesn’t work.

But, indeed, we can’t possibly see the full view, just the narrow vision our particular spectacles allow.

And with new lens our perspective changes.

Unwittingly, Nathan gave me the encouragement I needed.

This is actually an answer to my prayer for help.

Keep pushing on and Remember the lesson of the Lego Spectacles!

To you Leaders and Bloggers: Don’t forget to link-up with the SynchroBLOG on Leadership sponsored by Evangelical Seminary. Write something this week and contribute September 10-14. 

 Photo Credit: Royce Bair via Compfight

transcendent |tranˈsendənt|

adjective

• beyond or above the range of normal or merely physical human experience: the search for a transcendent level of knowledge.

• surpassing the ordinary; exceptional: the conductor was described as a “transcendent genius.”• (of God) existing apart from and not subject to the limitations of the material universe. Often contrasted with immanent.

List of Transcendent Things:

• Beauty

• Hope

• Creativity

• Truth (Revealed within all quality artistic expressions)

• Justice

• Love

Will you help me and add to my incomplete list?
What did I miss?

I’m really happy to have J.R. here today to talk about the patience needed for spiritual growth. As ministers, leaders, teachers, or parents frustration can set in when our efforts seem fruitless. This post will encourage you with needed perspective!

Thanks, J.R. !

The Impatience of Ministry: Waiting for the Vegetables to Grow

by J.R. Briggs

A few years ago my wife did something for the first time that she had wanted to do for quite some time: plant a garden in our backyard. We live in Pennsylvania, one of the most fertile states in the Union. The saying around here is if you can’t get your garden to grow in PA you’ll never get it to grow anywhere.

She bought a few small plants and spent an afternoon delicately placing them into the soil and watering them. Basil, tomatoes, green peppers, cucumbers and mint, among other things. It was a relatively small garden, but enough to find great enjoyment out of growing items we could enjoy. There is nothing better than eating dinner in the summer with items you grew a few hundred feet away.

Our oldest son (who was three at the time) was excited to hear that mommy was planting a garden that afternoon and he wanted to help. He got his boots on and with trowel in hand, helped mommy dig around in the soil and water the plants once they were in the ground.

As they finished the planting process that afternoon, it was time for his afternoon nap. He was disappointed when I called him in and cleaned him up before heading up to his room. When he woke up a few hours later, his first question to my wife was “Are the vegetables ready yet?” With a smile, she explained that they won’t be ready for at least several weeks. Plants just don’t grow that fast.

He was sorely disappointed and confused. I will never forget the look on his face: completely downtrodden. All my wife and I could do was try to keep from him noticing our smiles.

As cute as this story is, I find it a fitting reminder for pastoral work. Its easy to place impossible expectations on people in our churches to grow and produce fruit – and do it immediately.

We become impatient and wonder what’s wrong, why nothing is working, why it seems nobody around us is growing in the same way we read about in the last issue of a ministry magazine or heard about from the stage at the last pastors’ conference we attended. Why are the vegetables not ready yet? Its been a few hours already!

My son provided a good reminder – and a poignant challenge – for me and my approach to ministry. In fact, I’ve told this story dozens of times to other young pastors who are anxious that while they are faithful to do what they are called to do, they wonder why they aren’t seeing tons of fruit yet. And, yes, I’ve had to tell it to myself multiple times, too. True fruit production in the lives of people trying to be like Jesus is a long process, full of dirty and mess, which requires a great amount of patience. As Eugene Peterson wrote, spiritual maturity is a long obedience in the same direction.

The vegetables will come – but not this afternoon. We must do our part: wait, water, pull weeds, tend to the soil. And wait some more. It is dirty work. Fruitful work, but dirty nonetheless. The vegetables will come, but they will not come by this afternoon.

This is God’s work to be done, not ours. We cannot attempt to do the work that does not belong to us.

The vegetables will come, but not this afternoon.

There is no need to be disappointed.

J.R.’s Bio:

J.R. Briggs serves as Cultural Cultivator of The Renew Community a Jesus community for skeptics and dreamers in Lansdale, PA – a suburb of Philadelphia, which he helped start. He is the founder of Kairos Partnerships, an initiative that partners with leaders, pastors and church planters during significant kairos moments in ministry. As part of his time with Kairos Partnerships, he serves on staff with The Ecclesia Network and Fresh Expressions U.S. and coaches leaders, pastors and church planters across the country.

He also oversees the Renew Apprenticeship Program, a year-long experiential program that equips, trains and teaches young leaders and pastors to become effective and faithful church planters for contextual ministry in the 21^st century. He is the creator and curator of the Epic Fail Pastors Conference, which helps pastors embrace failure and grow to see failure as an invitation to growth and an opportunity for grace and healing, instead of shame.

He has never helped write a Wikipedia entry and will never outgrow the joy that comes from popping bubble wrap. He’s prone to put too much wasabi on his lunch, but he is a proud card-carrying member of the Clean Plate Club.

J.R. and his wife Megan have two sons, Carter and Bennett, and live in the heart of gritty Lansdale, PA.

We need each other!

95 pages of goodness!

VOLUMES 1-3
This collection reads fast…like tv…and covers the topics:

• “What is the Soul? & What is Soul Care?”

This premise-building volume gets us to track from the same point onward. That fact is you and I need Soul Care, and we need it now. I’ll explain why.

•  Identity and Belonging

We deal with core needs. This targets how to find your place in this world and in your calling of creating and message-bearing. Without our bearings we’ll get off-track and discouraged. This important message is one you don’t want to miss.

•  The 8 Paths of Learning 

• Utilize the paths for your own growth. Progress faster and better.

• Guide others in a well-rounded process of knowledge and development

• Fresh insights and information on the learning paths you already use

• A potent approach to synthesizing and assimilating learning to produce transformation

Written in a way to amuse and designed in a visual format that reads as fast as tv. You won’t get bogged down and it’s all.

Find it at AMAZON here.

public domain image

I wonder if much of the time, without knowing it, we operate as if the top model is correct. The one that puts us in the middle. We just ending up seeing the world and treating other people as if they revolve around us.

The second model is correct, but actually incomplete. That’s because compared to the known universe it’s hardly a spec. Our stories and even our problems are small compared to what’s really going on. Our stories and our pain matter, but they are not the center.

Enjoy your weekend. Keep things in perspective, okay?

Some poetry for reflection:

Psalms 8:3-5
“When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.”

(by Chris O Brien click for CC source)

You can’t die of a broken heart. It’s despair that kills you.

Having a broken heart, means you are alive. It means that something matters, and you haven’t gone numb (which is what usually happens to people after a while…or escapism, which is sort of the same).

Having a broken heart means that risk was rewarded with pain. But not pain unto death. Pain that gives way to experience you can’t find another way.

I used to think God was trying to kill me of a broken heart. Dashing my hopes and dreams. Allowing my son, or my father, or me to suffer until I couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like the beatings wouldn’t end.

At the end of that bit of brutality (as I perceived it) I realized I could be borne out of it, like a phoenix. And that was the point. To come to a resurrection. On the other side was life, not death. All the scars would be a kind of beauty, not a pitiable shame.

Don’t worry about your broken heart. It has to break apart to get to the fleshy part. The part so tender that only God can hold it…and be the only one who can and will protect it in a way you never could understand before. In a way that you can never do alone. You are brave enough for that. You. are.

Do. not. despair.

On the recent topic of Heaven (and soon, Hell) here at the old blog, I must bring up the baffling and sappy rendering of the heaven that we hear about quite a bit in conservative North American Protestantism.

If a boy nearly dies, and then tells you details about heaven exactly as you have taught him, what’s next? I’ll tell you what, a best seller (for people who need a spiritual vitamin B12 shot for their excruciatingly literal translations of biblical passages, and who pay no mind to historical context, linguistic idioms, let alone Hebrew and Greek).

Now, I realize young children tell silly stories. That’s part of their job. The trouble comes when the stories get massaged and coupled with a near-death tragedy to elicit a faith response from the more gullible among us. I do want to think the Burpos are on the up-and-up, but something stinks.

I heard Pastor Burpo and his little boy on a television program. What a cute kid. Some of the story seemed amazing, if not miraculous, but I got a bad whiff of something when Colton (really his dad) detailed heaven as, well, super lame.

People get around on their huge wings. Okay, I hope that’s not how it works. Boobs have been bad enough. The proverbial pearly gates make an appearance. The word “wicked trite” comes to mind, but maybe I’m just too cynical. A blue-eyed Jesus wears a purple sash over his white robe, and rides a giantic rainbow colored horse. Okay, bad wardrobe, and how could the genuine biblical Jesus from the ancient Semitic region possibly possess a double recessive gene for blue eyes? (And don’t say, because both Mary and the Holy Spirit had blue eyes, ’cause I’m not buying it.)

I don’t think Jesus rolls like that. But, I give the kid credit: An elephantine rainbow horse is pretty cool. Of course, I would have to know if it pooped rainbow too. That’s awfully critical info. God (the Father) has a body and sits on the throne, with Gabriel serving as a kind of right hand angel man on his left side, in a smaller throne…as we might expect, right? It all sounds like a bad Star Trek episode. Well, sort of.

Reader reviews often complain that only 3 pages of the book speaks of heaven in any details. But the book has done well. Very well. It spent 52 weeks on the bestseller list, and the family has since produced a children’s picture book, and you guessed it, a movie is in the works.

When the parents are asked about authenticity, their answers center on referring to the hope the story brings. This begs the question, is the point of the book to create hope in a plenty of people already know what they want heaven to be, instead of a faithful depiction of God (who, by the way, is non corporeal) and the Bible? (Which would be far more confusing.) Both can’t be true.

If you want to read a copy for yourself, and decide, here it is.

But, I offer you some thoughtful reflection on the the topic from arguably the foremost New Testament scholar alive today.

(This photo is hereby released into the public domain as part of the Artists Advent Project (click for more details). Use or distribute freely.)

Idioms are the stuff we trip over when we consider biblical language about heaven, or hell for that matter.

Pearly gates, streets of gold, city walls made of gems, and so on, in such a captivating portrayal may distract us from the greater truths the biblical writers were pointing to.

Having no vocabulary to render a fully redeemed new earth, the biblical writers described heaven in terms of peace (shalom) in mentioning that the city gates would never close. They spoke of righted relationships (i.e. golden neighborhood streets), lavish blessing, stability and security (beautiful pearly gates, no night) and no anguish in the form of tears, psychic pain, and death (a.k.a. no sea).

As I pondered some of the concepts in Tim Keller’s Gospel in Life video series in my sunday school class, I thought about the Tree of Life, revisited from the Eden story and given a call back in the story of our heavenly hope, the new earth.

This Tree of Life stuff reveals something far bigger than some sort of large plant with bark with life giving produce. Thinking of simply a literal tree planted in the new earth of heaven, and people lining up to get its life-giving fruit to live forever, sells short the magnitude of what God has done for us through his grace. This tree illustration sheds light on the bounty, abundance of God, and diet of his love that sustains us, world without end.

As you look at your Christmas tree in the next few days, let its presence reflect the hope we have in the reality of what God has done, and what he continues to do. Jesus’ birth, life, death, and resurrection breathes life into our spirits, and sustains us now, and in the world to come.

Do you have any thoughts about hope to share today?