Lisa Colón DeLay

(photo: "Don't touch the hair of a prospective boss!")

A very long interview reminded me of how stressful they can seem.

With so many people looking for work and too few jobs, it’s no wonder people make mistakes during an interview.

QUICK TIPS:
•Don’t let panic strike you, especially if you have a weak bladder.
•Don’t say anything that pops into your head, even if it seems funny.
•A case of the nerves can make you think of super funny things to say that are actually inappropriate, and you might not really realize that until later.
•If you’re nervous, calm yourself with a mantrum (MAUN-trum), but don’t say it out loud, especially while rocking back and forth. Also, settle for decaf. I mean that.

Here are some great things to not say during your interview:

10. “You can’t call my references because they all have died…rather suddenly.”

9. “Why do your eyes tell me I have the job, but they also say, ‘stay away from dairy’?”

8. “You look almost exactly like the pedophile that lives down the street from me. You must be related. Do you know Chester the Child Moles…oh wait, that’s not his real name .”

7. “I’ve said it a thousand times, ‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m much smarter than you’.”

6. “Oh, I’m sorry; that hair was impossibly long. I didn’t think is was connected.” (based on an actual conversation, but not one of mine)

5. “What is your policy about smoking pot in the office?”

4. “I have this crazy feeling we’ve met. Were you ever a little smellier and homeless?”

3. “Pull my finger. No seriously, this is hilarious.”

2. “Gosh, I haven’t been asked that since my last DUI.”

1. “Oh, yeah, I’m going to love your office, once your gone… and I know what you’re thinking! Of course I’ll repaint it.”

Now it’s your turn: What are some other things not to say?

Get creative!

Here’s something you may have not considered before: Outsourcing. 

“Wait,” you say, “That’s a dirty word. That’s like saying, ‘I hate Grandmothers,’.” Oh, no, it’s not. Get a grip. Outsourcing is simply getting someone else to do something for you quicker and less expensively than you could do it yourself. Most of the time, time isn’t what you have. And, of course, money? Well, almost no one has that. So you leverage what little money you have to get what you need, specifically. A global marketplace means the world is flat.

Think about it, research, busy work, follow-up calls, answering emails, e-commerce, networking, and much more could be subcontracted, so you could save a lot of time, and maintain your main focus.

Soon I’ll update this with how my outsourcing is going.

Leave your questions! Or comments…