Self-Destruction
Have you ever noticed how a person interacting online, or posting can sort of overtly or even subtly “self-destruct” right in front of you? Sort of like an inter webs Anna Nicole Smith, or something. I always feel a pang of embarrassment for them…Except when it’s me, than I just eat chocolate.
I can’t help but think, we bloggers, social media participants, and users of the interwebs should really reflect on why we do things.
You should be sitting down for this next part. Okay, you probably are already sitting down, duh. So, in that case, just take a deep breath, and keep an open mind, then, I guess.
Here’s a tough order. Consider a 2 WEEK media fast (you heard what I said….that means no Facebook, twitter, leaving comments on blogs, or making post entries, pinning, you know…whatever) if you see yourself having any of the following signs:
(2 days, or even 2 full hours can help too. You can opt for that one)
5 Signs that you need a break from the Interwebs.
1. If a 2 week, 2 day, or 2 hour interruption such as this seems unthinkable. Not sure why all the 2s.
2. If you find yourself perceiving things people say personally offensive, or as direct attacks. (Like maybe you think, that I think you’re getting paranoid, because you are…that would be an example.)
3. If you are “venting” more online.
4. If you get a substantial emotional charge when you interact, make a post, or reply online, etc. and perhaps feel empty or restless if that opportunity is denied or delayed.
5. If posting or being active in social media, or online makes you feel significant.
Check yourself.
The truth is, I’ve been able to checkmark each thing I mentioned. If that is the case for you, step back. Take some time off as a spiritual respite. It will save you from yourself.
If you can’t handle 2 weeks of “nothing”… what will you commit to? How about 2 days? No? 2 hours? Pick something and go with it.
Other suggestions of import: Invest some of your money or time into an in-person, formal or casual counseling relationship, spiritual direction, spiritual friendship/soul care, or mentoring arrangement which relies on speaking face-to-face with someone on the deeper things in your life, or on patterns you see in your reactions and interactions.
It seems that after awhile internet “community” is not primarily the healthiest way to relate to others. Trust me, you’re getting paranoid. And, it’s not because of me.
Want a Word Picture for this? Think of a wound that can’t get fresh air during the healing process. Gooey, and whatnot, right? That is what is happening to your insides when much of your interactions with others consist of online inter-personal communication. Rip off the Band-aid, YO!
If communicating online is a huge part of your life (you’re are a writer, a speaker, a leader, a blogger, a computer geek, an international man of mystery, etc), you can make an important shift, and find some freedom. Your breathing will be easier, and you’ll see more butterflies, I promise.
You can continue to write or express yourself in constructive and cathartic ways. Journal during your hiatus, and see what it’s like to do this sort of thing in private. Make note of the differences.
Now, hey…before you go…maybe for 2 weeks (gosh …what have I DONE?!..just when I’ve returned in all my opulent blogging glory… ahem…please note my jest), what are some signs you can think of that may indicate a break (okay…let’s say respite) is a wise idea?
I also help with getaways. Looky here
What are your related tips for having a balanced life?
(For more insights on taking a break, do a search here for “fasting”)
My expertise is in personal, relational, ministerial, and spiritual growth. So, no, I’m not Michael Hyatt who has loads of CEO experience. But, I tend to notice things that others don’t, and I know a few things about pitfalls.
LEADERSHIP: Most of us are in some form of leadership. Maybe it’s in our community, as a youth sports coach, at our 9-5 job, as a parent, within an organization, or in some form of ministry. Honing our talents and skills is vital to our leadership success.
I’ve identified 4 things many leaders forget. Do any of them describe you? What critical thing (or things) do YOU think leaders forget?
1. Leaders forget to notice untried (or potential) leaders and develop and mentor leadership in others.
2. Leaders may forget that leadership is more about character than capability or charisma.
3. A leader’s greatest strength will be tested by his (or her) corresponding weakness.
4. Failure in leadership is part of the process.
Unpacking those 4 Things:
1. Notice and develop leadership in others. A critical part of leadership is realizing that the role of guiding outstrips that of commanding. Mentoring up-and-coming leaders is too often overlooked. Sadly, sometimes helping nurture other leaders even seen as an existential threat to one’s future leadership. But, nothing could be further from the truth.
2. Leadership is more about character than capability or charisma. I recently experienced a situation of, “Too many chiefs, and not enough Indians.” (Bear in mind, this phrase is actually misunderstanding regarding Native America tribal leadership. So-called “chiefs” functioned more as “big men” style leaders, not like a monarchy type of leadership and not often lineage-based. No elections either. A lack of confidence would propagate emergence of other “big men” leaders within tribes. Members would break off from the bigger group to follow them.) Sometimes when I work on a group project where action is needed, and I will opt the role of “minion worker bee”, even though the project may be an area of expertise or gifting. Weird, huh? I purposefully do not vie for a leadership role. At all. Why? Well, I learned this little gem “on-the-job”. Depending on the group, I may sense when a team possesses a quality of dominion instead of concert. That means “being heard” is overshadowing the project itself. In this situation, people will display the quirkiest parts of their personality in response to stress. They may appear overly opinionated, stubborn, emotional, or unduly vested in the matter at hand. Control or significance is the force at play, and usually the results will not turn out for the best. Sometimes personal growth comes from stepping back.
In those cases, modeling character is more important that who’s message is the loudest. As leaders we can show the group through cooperative service the spirit and attitude that will achieve the best outcomes.
As a leader, be willing to take a back seat for the greater good in the long run. Now is not the time to peacock your intelligence, capability, or persuasiveness, but rather to act in good character.
3. A leader’s greatest strength will be tested by his corresponding weakness. This one is easy to miss. This one needs your full attention: What has helped us in leadership can be our very downfall. Here’s an fictitious example: Joe Winnar is an extrovert. He’s great at taking action, and exciting others to join him in his vision for what lays ahead. So, his corresponding weakness could be that he steamrolls other’s ideas or contributions. For every gift we possess, we also have a weak point (or points) that can reveal a growing edge. This means it’s a likely pitfall where we will fail somehow in our leadership.
4. Failure in leadership is part of the process. This one stinks. Far more leaders fail instead of succeed. And in what regard? 9 times out of ten it will involve interpersonal issues. Leadership is made or broken at the relational level.
For example: What happens when a leader cheats, lies, becomes abusive, or breaks faith with the group? Integrity is shattered, and relationships are damaged. If we are going to fail as leaders, it’ll likely center on, or least include, this aspect. There is no better way to avoid this other than keeping a close reign on our issues of humility. Not if, but when you fail, admit to your mistakes, don’t act faultless, work cooperatively, and don’t lose a teachable spirit.
I’m not a big fan of prepared foods, like the one you see above.
But, I have to admit, usually when food comes from a factory, it’s quick and simple.
It’s also sealed with cellophane and full of sodium to keep it “fresh”. How long could you keep this “meal” before heating it? …months for sure, maybe a year. It’s a bit of a one-size-fits-all cuisine approach, right?
A frozen meal typically comes tidy, in a divided plate. So, no mess, no worries. There’s no long prep time, no plate, just a piece of plastic flatware is needed-say a “spork”–to cover any food texture. One might not even need a napkin, if one eats it…calmly. But, I think, you’d have to be on the verge of starvation, have non working taste buds, or have little experience with eating delectable food if you wish to devour this quickly. Not too many salivate over or pine for pre-fab food, like only a mother a factory could manufacture.
When people want to “serve up” the love of God, or share the gospel can’t the same thing happen?
Serving up God. yum... ?
Sometimes not only are the workers few, but maybe what workers there are don’t know enough about the richness of the God’s banqueting table. Maybe they’ve been using the spiritual microwave too much. Or maybe they aren’t patient enough to let God into their kitchen and make the meal, and show ’em how it’s done.
It takes a while, it seems he likes slow-cooker and long roasting recipes. (Ask Moses or Joseph about that one.) Sometimes the longer process of becoming a lot better in the kitchen, and letting God be the Chef de Cuisine, doesn’t seem like the smartest or most efficient move for a ministry. “What, spend long hours in the hot kitchen? Chop vegetables, mince, simmer, sauté, reduce…that could take, well, heck, years! We’re trying to help people, here!”
Well, we might give them something to eat, “really quick,” but how edible is it? Is it healthy or good for them? Will it cause stomach cramps and diarrhea? Will they only be able to serve up the same sort of thing? Will we get to the point of creating and serving the kind of spiritual food that God specializes in–the kind we created with him at his side, just like Abba used to make?
Can we reflect God properly by serving up convenient, ready-made, spiritual fast-food?
I’m doubtful.
What if we tried a sumptuous slow roast?
What if we could mentor (disciple) willing helpers (pilgrims/Jesus followers) and give them a solid, theological, narrative framework (God’s Story) from which to see their reality: God’s present Kingdom, and his Kingdom to come.
What if things marinated, and the juices got savory and settled down deep into the meat, rather than inviting others to dig into some version of pre-fab nosh because, the slow cooker style just won’t suit our time frame and ambitions?
Would we be able to offer something closer to the nature and heart of God the slow cook way?
(For our good and theirs.)
Would we be changed to be more to his likeness in the process of that?
Oh, yes, it’s far messier to prepare, serve, and eat! It takes prep time, long hours of cooking, setting the table nicely. We’ll need plenty of napkins and perhaps a wet washcloth or two. Plus, don’t forget we’re talking about REAL people. There are spills, squirts, and stains. Life is MESSY. Even good relationships are fraught with various difficulties. What about the clean up? A sticky, gooey mess for sure. And maybe dental floss will be handy to keep around. Real meat gets stuck in one’s teeth.
Oh, but there’s this: it’s really satisfying, and tastes fantastic.
Messy, and slow cooked
Add some veggies or a large salad to the slow-cooked entrée you see above, and you have an excellent, tasty, and messy meal many will really enjoy. If the company is good, they might even come back for more.
What do you think about it?
Have you ever been in a situation where it seemed like you had to choose one way or the other?
What happened?
Does the slow-cooker way seem out of reach? (Does this post need a follow up with specifics? Let me know.)
On Sunday mornings I’m reserving my home, and my coffee for friends who want to enjoy it with me, along with some snacks, and a bit of time to converse about the things of life and God. (9:15-10:10 a.m.)
I’ve decided, if my husband makes the coffee, we won’t be forced to look at passages in He-brews. (A few coffee and Bible jokes there. Not very good ones, though. Sorry.)
I may create a home page tab to reflect specifically on our times together, and the topics, or the insights that come from it. Feedback on this idea would be appreciated.
If you join us for Jehovah Java Coffee Club time, or plan to, or would like to join in “at a distance,” please be encouraged to continue our conversation after posts, or add your input.
Today’s topic was entered as the previous post, Sunday Homily.
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