Lisa Colón DeLay

Last night was a big night for FUN. at the Grammys…

I’ve heard their music but never really thought that much of them until they were featured last night in performance on the GRAMMYS and winning several awards.

The night featured new musicians at it always does and I realized just how much music gets to the core of things. It sparks numb areas of the brain and sweeps you into some greater rhythm. Maybe a unifying rhythm with the rest of humanity….or maybe I’m being grandiose.

The songs FUN. did reminded me of something. Not just a period of idealistic youth, but the role that anthems play in our lives. FUN. does well with anthems….those songs that shout a bit, the ones that let you know that something needs to be said, a deeper cry of the heart is ebbing up and pouring forth….maybe like a rain storm on stage.

It made me wonder….”What is my anthem?”

I’ve mentioned recently about going though a season of obscurity historically (and in Spiritual Formation circles) called “a dark night of the soul”.

It can be a disturbing time, or it can have a purgative nature. Refinement. For me, (this is me being all vulnerable), it just seems like old answers are unsatisfying and resolution is unavailable in certain areas where it had been clearer before. In a way there’s some refreshment in knowing that some certainties are gone and a narrowing in my life is underway. It means simpler and more crucial things are left. But there’s a twist…

I’m surprised to have “consolations” during this time…

It’s a lot like having a flashlight on a dark path. I don’t feel alone or separated from God, as is often characteristic of a dark night season. This time I have just enough light to take a few steps, but all else is in the dim background. What could be ahead? It’s too hard to tell.

I wonder when dawn will come, but I know it will.

Have you ever had a season where it seems like all you have is a little flashlight in the big dark night?
How long did it last and what helped you?

More this week specifically on Discernment. Stop by soon!
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Maundy Thursday

Today, I’m tossing a lateral pass on writing. My friend, Doug has recreated the Last Supper in a short story form that is both potent, amusing, and contemporary, and thereby worth your read. I think you’ll like his take here:

Excerpt:
Jesus bolted from the dinner table – didn’t even say “May I be excused?” – stripped to his boxers and started washing everybody’s feet. Peter made a fuss, of course, but Jesus said, ….

“Maundy” is derived from the Latin word, “Holy” (set apart).
Do you celebrate “Maundy Thursday”…or remember the events of the the night of the Last Supper, or Christ’s action of taking the role of a slave and washing his students’ feet? Reflection on that today, for at least a few minutes.

Read today’s Scripture below:
AND if you’d like share your spiritual reflections here:

Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

JOHN 13:1 Now nbefore othe Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that phis hour had come qto depart out of this world to the Father, rhaving loved shis own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.  2 During supper, when tthe devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him,  3 Jesus, knowing uthat the Father had given all things into his hands, and that vhe had come from God and wwas going back to God,  4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, xtied it around his waist.  5 Then he ypoured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.  6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?”  7 zJesus answered him, “What I am doing ayou do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.”  8 bPeter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, c“If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”  9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!”  10 Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, dexcept for his feet,1but is completely clean. And eyou2 are clean, fbut not every one of you.”  11 gFor he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

12 When he had washed their feet and hput on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, i“Do you understand what I have done to you?  13 jYou call me kTeacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am.  14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, lyou also ought to wash one another’s feet.  15 For I have given you an example, mthat you also should do just as I have done to you.  16 Truly, truly, I say to you, na servant3 is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.  17 If you know these things, oblessed are you if you do them.  18 pI am not speaking of all of you; I know qwhom I have chosen. Butrthe Scripture will be fulfilled,4 s‘He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me.’  19 tI am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he.  20 Truly, truly, I say to you, uwhoever receives the one I send receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

by Leon Bonnat. 1876

It happened in a spot located on the north bank of the Jabbok close to the Jordan River. God and Jacob grappled. Um, what?

This has to be one of the most fascinating stories in the Bible. It’s just 9 verses long. Click this to read it quickly, in a cute, new window.

(And, no, I don’t think the angel/incarnation of God had wings like we see depicted in this illustration. And I have to believe he had a much nicer hairdo, too.)

SO! After that all-night bout, Jacob names the place Peniel, which means “facing God”. Once you go head-to-head with God Almighty, in the flesh, in an epic OT (Old Testament) Smackdown, you just have to name the place something cool, or memorable. You have to do it…so you don’t convince yourself that you were just dreaming, like before. Later, you’ll say, “Yes, kids, I wrestled God all night right here. I had a pretty mean grip on him, and my hip has been killing me ever since.”

The incarnation of God dislocates Jacob’s hip, with just a touch. But, you know what? Jacob still hung on tightly and relentlessly until the angel granted him a blessing. Thus, Jacob carried a permanent reminder of struggling with God.

The hip joint is very strong. Hip injuries like this are not too common, but they do occur sometimes in rough and tumble sports. Here is a little research I gathered, so we can better understand the marathon of a match, and the (possible) physical consequences.

From Chicago Sports Medicine
Post-Hip Dislocation:

This injury is more common in such sports as football, rugby, hurling, and soccer, the individual is hit in the front of the thigh, forcing the thigh/hip complex backward, resulting in hip dislocations. This tears the ligamentum teres and the posterior capsule.

(In folk style/scholastic wrestling, there is a technique/move called “Jacob’s hook”. Yes, it can be dangerous, cause a hip dislocation, and lasting pain.)

Sciatic nerve and the hip joint. Ouchy.

The vascular supply to the femoral head is stretched and torn as the posterior displacement increases. Generally (in athletics), the participant is not allowed to return to athletics for a minimum of three months. Long-term consequences of posterior hip dislocations can include sciatic nerve injury, avascular necrosis of the femoral head (hip joint damage due to decreased blood supply), and significant arthritis and cartilage damage.

A joint dislocation significantly disrupts all the structures that support the joint. The athlete will be out of commission for a minimum of three months if he/she does traditional sports medicine treatments. Even after all of that time, there is no guarantee that one will be left with a strong hip joint.

The children of Israel remember the event by never eating this part of an animal. The sciatic nerve is known in Hebrew as the gid hanasheh. The process of removing the sciatic nerve (as well as certain large blood vessels and forbidden fats) from the surrounding meat is known as nikkur, or “deveining.” Since this is a difficult and delicate process, cuts from an animal’s hindquarters (including the Filet mignon) are generally not sold as kosher.[2] (from wiki)

Part of the blessing Jacob receives involves his name change ushering in a new identity for this youngest and far sneakier of the twins boys of Isaac. He is given the name Israel.

Yes, Jacob hangs on all night. Yes, the passage makes it seem like the angel had to keep an early morning appointment elsewhere, with all that “Let me go for it is daybreak” business, as if he’s Edward (the vampire) in the Twilight series. He seems to give in to Jacob’s iron grip. But…

Israel means “God prevails”.

The ending of the name Israel, “el” is most often translated from Hebrew as God, or god.
The first part of the word (isra, or some approximation) is translated – as contended, or striven, or wrestled.

Sometimes this story is interpreted that it is Jacob who does the prevailing or overcoming; but it is God who heals Jacob by revealing himself to him, man-to-man. He “breaks” him to begin to heal him, in every way. God perpetuates a grappling stalemate. Although he could, God chooses not to defeat Jacob in a straight-forward victory by a submission hold, or pin, etc. Jacob’s tenacity is rewarded. Eye of the tiger, baby!

God welcomes our struggling with him, when we patiently and boldly holdout for the blessings that only can come from him.

Have you ever realized that God wants you close, even if you are struggling against him? He wants us to know him in that up close way, face-to-face in all our messiness. He seems to route for us, and hope we hang on all the way to the end of the dark night for the blessing.

Have you ever wrestled God?

The Dark Night of the Soul, says  Dr. Gerald May, sounds different in his patients when they speak. There may be (felt) discouragement, and silence from God. There may be a confusion, and a lack of spiritual “experience” or lack of sensation of the spiritual as there had been before. But, compared to his patients who have symptoms of depression, these folks do not have despair like those who are depressed do. They do not have the same cynicism, even though they may feel alone.

In the dark night times one knows transformation is underway. During times of depression, one hopes to return to normal.

Because God is not a “thing” but rather Spirit-all places at once-as we progress spiritually, invitations come to rebirth and journey closer to union with him as Spirit. What I speak of here is not a journey to a physical spot, but to an awareness of God, in a deeper, richer way. One that involves faith, not sight, or even the crutch of sensation, which may confused for God, but also cannot be God, in actuality.

We can leave behind the old methods of tapping into the spiritual that are like outgrown child’s clothing–too small for us. Ultimately, we move toward union with God in this way.

Some dark nights take years to move through. We must not fear them because they involve a greater revelation of God’s amazing grace and love. The end always results in greater insights of God’s love, and greater union with the Divine, in a brighter day.

In Part III, I will talk about the “Dawn” from the Dark Night.

Some information taken from my reading: Gerald G. May, M.D. The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth. Harper San Francisco, 2004.

 DID you read PART I ?

Q: Where did the term “dark night of the soul” come from?

R: The phrase first turned up in the poetry of Spanish Carmelite monk John of the Cross in the 16th Century. He composed many poems while in torment in prison.

Q: “Dark” seems awfully negative, is it?

R: In Spanish the term is closer to the word “obscure”. Though the process may be confusing and painful, “dark” is not implying a negative state. It is a description, especially once one is aware of the progression of growth involved, and knows how the dawn will approach.

Q: Is the “dark night of the soul” the same as depression?

R: No. It’s also not a “spiritual term” for the suffering of someone who needs help for trauma/abuse, medical treatment for illness (mental and otherwise), and/or therapy. Sometimes the two states are seen hand-in-hand, and many times they are not.

Q: Are there different kinds of “dark nights” of the soul?

R: Yes. John of the Cross spoke of a “dark night” involving the senses, and one involving the spirit. One may have numerous dark nights of the senses. (I will go into more detail in future posts.)

Q: What is a good way to recognize a “dark night”.

R: A dark night of the senses may “feel” as though modes of prayer, experiencing the spiritual, or spiritual practices don’t “work” or satisfy. God may “feel” out of reach, distant, unavailable, or gone. It may feel like a dry period, or a time of being in a spiritual dessert. (This is not cause for discouragement or alarm, but for stamina. It is a Divine invitation for growth, and greater spiritual depth beyond what one knows. I will elaborate on what is taking place more in future posts.)

Next time I will post about the “dark night and ‘union with God’,” the process of the “dark night,” any questions/responses that come in from this post, and more. Come back soon.

Information taken from my reading: Gerald G. May, M.D. The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth. Harper San Francisco, 2004.

My (upcoming) book Life as Prayer: A New Paradigm for contemporary Spirituality Inspired by Ancient Piety dedicates a whole chapter to this topic. I will update this blog with details as this work continues. Thanks for your interest. I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Now, Read PART II