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3 Rough Patches on the Way to Success (Henri Nouwen)

Some quick Housekeeping:
This year I won’t be posting 3-4 times per week, most of the time.

Since February 2009 I written 815 posts. I’ve put in the time. (Before that I had a Blogger blog (several actually), and a before that I had a Xanga blog (remember them?), and before that in 2004 or so, I sent weekly email articles to about 200 people, when word “blog” hadn’t made it to the vernacular. It adds up to thousands of articles.)

Plus, I’m at a season where my posts should be fewer. All this makes email delivery or a RSS feed situation optimal, because when I do post, I’ll have landed on some cool things I simply must write about. So, fill out the Feedburner button fields in the right column, and never miss a beat.

3 Rough Patches on the Way to Success (courtesy of Henri Nouwen)

As promised back in November, I’m sharing some of the gleanings from my required course work reading. The first book is a short, sweet work chock-a-blocked with wisdom by the beloved Henri Nouwen.

In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (Click title for book info. Bonus: It costs just a few bucks. ) In this book Nouwen makes short work tackling common 3 pitfalls we routinely encounter.

The title is a misappropriation because his advice is so helpful for anyone “on a quest” or trying to make their way. Be it an artist, blogger, writer, or just about anyone following a dream will encounter the very same issues Nouwen covers as he targets “leaders”.

He uses his own life and success in academics and leadership as the impetus and a background of practical knowledge and captures crucial insights on the things that most often beset us.

Nouwen was a revered scholar and professor at Yale, Harvard and other impressive-sounding places. Though everyone was telling Nouwen he was doing well, he noticed something deep down. Something just wasn’t right. Then, he realized his success was actually putting his own soul in danger.

“I was living in a very dark place and the term “burnout” was a convenient psychological translation for a spiritual death.”

I’ve been there! Have you?

He came to a point of spiritual dryness and removed himself from the life he knew as a talented academic and choose instead to live with, care for, and minister to the severely mentally disabled. He covers this quite briefly in the book. (In other books he mentions just how nuts people thought he was for the decision.)

What came from that choice is arguably his most memorable and lasting work. A host of profound and transformative pieces. To many some are bona fide Christian Devotional Classics.
To handle the topic of Christian Leadership (which I’ve mentioned may be cast more widely for many of us as success), Nouwen describes the particulars of Jesus as he was tempted in the desert. The lures and trappings of leadership (read: success) typical in this world are cast in sharp relief with the divine call of Christlikeness in one’s life.

It is a striking model for Christians to follow. Jesus was tempted to abandon his Kingdom mission in favor of acquiescing to the temptations offered up by Satan who promised success in the course and manner of this world.

Nouwen also riffs off intimate conversations Jesus has with Peter. They involve calling, leadership, vocation, and Jesus-style success. The heart of these exchanges give us insights to our own path to success and finding our purpose or way in the world.

The three temptations are labeled by Nouwen as the lures to be relevant (necessary, a cure for the world), spectacular (popular, skilled, apt), and powerful (influential or in charge).

Have you ever wanted those things as you reach for your dreams?  (Who hasn’t, right?)
Jesus’ response and subsequent choices are worth noting. Not only that, they bring solace for the journey.

The temptations experienced by Christ are shown as the archetype for the human experience in the realm of success (and any sort of leadership). The three kernels of wisdom include–

1. being prayerful instead of craving relevance

2. serving rather than desiring popularity found through skills and competencies

3. being led rather than focusing on power (leading/influencing)

It’s all very counter-cultural.

Nouwen lays out concise and clear arguments for these three and also includes which spiritual disciplines make the Kingdom way plausible (think of discipline here as “training” or “taking your vitamins”).

In a time were celebrity and influence (and even infamy) is the jackpot, just as much in Christian spheres as in secular ones, Nouwen speaks with a fresh and prophetic voice of wisdom that brings us to a path of peace.

In our strivings it’s easy to miss the presence of God, and even the mission of the Kingdom. It’s a quick trip to succumbing to temptations common to humans and not being people of Christlikeness. This book soothes the soul.

# # #

If you’re interested in delving further into spiritual formation, creativity, and learning for a full year, the private online community/learning group called The Cadre is forming right now. (100% free, and I’m not selling anything.) It starts February (2013), and there are about 8 spots open. Click “The Cadre” at the top of the page to learn more, or contact me.

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(photo source: http://evolvenetwork.com.au/wordpress/index.php/5-steps-to-bring-success-into-your-life/)

Pride and Popularity [Guest Post from Lisa Bartelt]

Here’s another Lisa, and an up-and-coming famous blogger sharing her frustrations of blogging. I was in a bunch of seminary classes and in student forum (government) with her husband Phil. Every time he’d say, “Well, Lisa… said or did this or that…” it would alway take a full three seconds for me to figure out that he couldn’t be talking about me. One of the first times it happened, I just stared at him in what must have looked like total confusion. Thankfully, he pieced it together for me. It turns out we have more in common than just the same first name. Enjoy.

Pride & Popularity

-by Lisa Bartelt

“I don’t read your book reviews, just like everyone else.”

 

Okay, so I know wounds from a friend can be trusted, but this wound was from my husband.

 

Ouch.

 

And he was talking about my blog.

 

Double ouch.

 

If his statement hadn’t been painfully true, then maybe I would have done more than laugh it off. But he was right. People aren’t reading my book reviews. Shoot, even when I give books away, I’m not getting a lot of traffic. In fact, the last time I hosted a book giveaway, I wondered if I was going to have to beg someone to take it. (Praise the Lord, I found some willing contestants, and even a winner. Can I get a “hallelujah”?)

 

I’ll admit it: I want to be popular. As a blogger. And as a person. I want “reach” and “impact” and all kinds of other blogosphere words I don’t know anything about. I want to one day wake up and have magically appeared on WordPress.com’s front page as a “freshly pressed” blog on which hundreds (thousands?) of people have clicked, liked or commented.

 

I’m not asking too much, right?

 

The problem, for me, is that blogging is not my day job (heck, it’s not even my night job!) and I suspect it takes more effort than I give to really “make it” in the blogosphere. (Total rabbit trail: that word weirds me out because I was a journalist in Illinois when Rod Blagojevich was governor and we used the word “Blagosphere” to describe the world he lived in. Rabbit trail over.)

 

Popularity may not be a bad goal, but it isn’t the best goal for a blogger, especially a blogger whose aim is to glorify Jesus.

 

Do you ever wonder why God didn’t send Jesus to earth now? I mean, if He wanted Him to be popular, there’s no time like the Information Age. Jesus might have had millions of Twitter followers, a hip happenin’ blog and more Facebook friends than dollars in the Mega Millions lottery pot.

 

If popularity was the goal, then Jerusalem 2,000 years ago was the wrong choice.

 

God intended something deeper than popularity, which is fleeting. Just think back to high school, or if that’s too painful, think about celebrities today who are popular one week and practically black-listed the next.

 

No, popularity can’t be our goal. Not if we want more than 15 minutes of fame.

 

My 2-year-old son recently went through a phase where he wanted me to sing him to sleep. Bear in mind, I have a voice that, while it does not cause dogs to howl, will not win me a spot on American Idol. I obliged, and it has turned into a nightly routine with both kids.

 

While there are days I think I’d like to have the adoration of millions of fans and fame of the “Idol” kind, I find most satisfying my son’s request: “Please, you keep singing?”

 

Maybe it’s pleasure we should seek.

 

“For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” – Philippians 2:13 (NASB)

 

A couple of weeks ago, my family was on vacation, and I was practically off the grid for 10 days. My Klout score actually went up during that period. (A case of absence makes the heart grow fonder?) Maybe it’s not really about me, after all.

 

William Featherston wrote these words in what would become the hymn My Jesus I Love Thee: “and praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath.”

 

As writers, we can carry that sentiment – I will write as long as You lend me the words — into our work, whether thousands of people read our blogs or just our moms and grandmas. (Hi, Mom!)

Lisa Bartelt is an award-winning journalist turned stay-at-home mom of two and soon-to-be pastor’s wife whose work has appeared in The One Year Devotional of Joy and Laughter. She blogs about books, kids, and Jesus at http://lmbartelt.wordpress.com.

Wishing I was a Guy (poster envy)

Taking an interlude away from my theology of disability post series, today.

As soon as I saw this awesome poster, I wished I was a guy for about 2 seconds. It’s so goofy and cool at the same time.

click for video

There’s probably a good reason why there are no females on this poster. And, no I’m not going to say because Evangelical Christianity is basically a boys club with bonus points for popularity. It’s probably because for some reason we can somehow respect a goofy guy, and still take what he says seriously.

Is there a double standard? Take Tina Fey. She’s obviously brilliant, and she’s also cute, and incredibly funny. But, what if she cranked it up a notch, and started a devotional series, or starting sharing her suggestions on worship music, or maybe exegeting Romans 12. Would her street cred take a dive? Would everyone just start scratching their heads? Maybe that’s a bad example.

Let me try it the other way. What if Beth Moore did a poster spoofing Carol Burnett? Would this help women rely on her more thoroughly while getting out of their pits, or becoming more secure?

What is it about leadership or ministry and gender roles? I’m puzzled.

I may have to test it out personally. A Zena Warrior Princess outfit may in my future.

Carol Burnett

 

Checkmark Envy: How the ‘M’ word tells the truth about vanity

I’m warning you, right from the start. I’m going to use a word I haven’t used before when blogging, and maybe only 12 times otherwise. It’s one of those words that could make me lose all my readers, maybe even you. But, I’m going to do it, because I have to tell the truth.

I have “checkmark envy”. When I see the Verified Twitter Account, the checkmark reversed out of cyan, I want one, too. Badly. It’s been going on for about three months. It has everything to do with feelings of self-worth. Important people have Verified Accounts. People that matter. Wanting it has everything to do with sensing my value, and worst of all vanity.

So, I realized something, Vanity is spiritual masturbation.

Now that I said “the M word”, I want to unpack what I just said, so we don’t miss the forrest for the trees.

Some people think masturbation can make you blind. Do people still think this? This obviously reflects poorly on blind people. It’s made me question Stevie Wonder, for instance. Well, not really. (After I wrote this, I found out it’s Stevie’s birthday today…what a “God thing”, huh? I mean, sorry Stevie for that extra weird bit of undue attention on your special day.)

Some people think it’s perverted. Some think it’s necessary. Some think it’s just plain fun. Some say, when in doubt, do it. Like Nike, right? Never mind.

Here’s what it really is. It’s a reduction and diminution of a real and powerful thing. The goodness of sexual intimacy is given a shabby surrogate. It’s not more or better, it’s less. It’s a shortcut that cheats you–producing fulfillment temporarily, but soon leaving you feeling more isolated or lonely; even trapped, or increasingly compulsive.

Vanity is the same way, but more thoroughly. It holds hands and makes out with shame. It’s focused on sensing worthiness in a weird, circular, and disappointing quest.

I learned a lot about these sort of pitfalls of shame (a.k.a. “hame”. Yeah, refer to Brown video) yesterday, from Dr Brené Brown in this amazing (20 min) video about so-called “shame studies”. Watching it could change your life.

It’s given me the courage to admit this kind of spiritual masturbation addiction I avoid revealing.

I want to be somebody. God’s answer (healing) for this is to be thoroughly aware of being known and loved ever still in him. It’ll take my whole life to fully get there. This is but one of my forward steps.

Do you feel the need to be “verified”?

My ugly Confession.

I have a confession to make.

ambition while missing the point

 

In about 2 weeks, this blog site will be a year old. In the last 5-6 months, I’ve been trying pretty hard to write interesting, helpful, or entertaining stuff for this place, almost every single day. I’ve made fantastic contacts, great new friends, and I’ve had a good time doing it.

This is hard to admit, but, I have to confess, that I’ve been blogging mostly to build a larger reading audience. A little while ago my agent told me that I stood a good chance to have my material published, but the biggest obstacle was “lack of platform.” Lack of platform sort of means, not too many care who you are, or what you do. A successful blog can change that, and help a writer build this much-needed platform. I know there’s nothing shameful about writing a blog and hoping others read it, but my remorse at this moment is that I realize I have made it my means to an end. I’ve been holding so tight to this idea that I can generate a solid readership base to, as Pedro says, “make all my wildest dreams come true,” that I didn’t realize I was putting it before the whole point, which is to share myself and my God with others. In a real sense, I’ve thought of this blog as a vehicle to “get me somewhere,” and I’ve made it an idol. Sometimes I have said to myself, “Well, it’s really both, a vehicle and my ministry.” This may be true, and I hope things work out like this, but if my priorities or motivations shift weight, things get off balance. And they have been.

I stopped long enough for God to speak to my heart, and in my spirit, it seems “he” said, “Let it go.” I got a little panicky at first. “Completely? What? Huh? What ‘chu talkin’ ’bout Willis…er, Father in Heaven?”

Then it seemed like God nudged me, and “said,” “Don’t be such an extremist.” This threw in off a little. So, I sort of looked around sheepishly for a little, almost looking for an exit, but without trying to be obvious about it. It seems like God “said,” “You’re clutching. Stop it. Just write and stop thinking about the rest. It’s none of your business.”

This bothered me. I felt out of control. Of course, it was a false assumption that I really have control like I was thinking I had. But, then I thought about what that might feel like…to hand things over… and I tried to “put that skin on.” Even just putting it on halfway felt SO nice. Relaxing. Like the pressure was off, and leaving the room, like a smog lifting. So, I stopped that exercise midway, I took a deep breath and I yielded. I took my sweaty feet off the pedals and coasted. I waited. And nothing happened. Nothing, for better or for worse, but I felt much better.

I wanted to tell you about it, because I know I haven’t been thinking the right way. I know that has to change, and I’m turning my heart the other way. I may post less often, but maybe there will be more true joy and inspiration when I do.

I do hope many are blessed by this blog, and resources, but I’m not going to transpose the priorities anymore, if I can help it, (with God’s grace). This will happen on a heart level, and it might not even be apparent to you, but I hope that my honesty will not only encourage you to look carefully at your own priorities, and goals, but also be a way to ensure that I stay congruent to my core convictions and values, in the way and nature of my God.

It’s hard to make confessions because, sometimes, it makes you feel really weak, stupid, or like some kind of a scum bag. It’s risky. The temptation to keep on a mask, and act like things are all pulled together, can be a strong influencer. Even though it feels embarrassing, it’s still the only way to move forward, and toward shalom (well-being/peace). I’m trying to be brave.

Thoughts… comments?

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