Lisa Colón DeLay

Once a week for the next 2 months I will be covering the topic of discernment. We’ll learn how to discern much better!

I can hardly think of a theme that comes up more often than “trying to find our way”.

Especially for those of us who create or try to be intentional and grow.

Some think of discernment as “finding God’s will”, some as “knowing with path to take at a fork in the road”, some as “discovering or actualizing one’s calling”, and some think of it as learning to be better and more consistently attuned to God’s voice.

Many don’t realize that about 500 years ago a very keen and practical guide to discernment was created to teach Christians and Christian leaders how to discern the voice of God. Through the practice of these Spiritual Exercises (Ignatius of Loyola), we can be guided with far less angst and far greater freedom and peace as we choose our way and listen for God’s voice.

Millions of believers have undertaken learning and applying these sage writings on the topic, and consequently have better allowed the Holy Spirit to guide their life. Others find great solace in participating in Ignatian retreats. The spirituality influenced by Ignatian involves “find God in all things” and “laboring with God in the divine project of healing the world”. Prayer and action are combined as the spiritual muscles of experiencing God’s abundant love and hearing his voice develop.

Since basic theology tells us that God is everywhere present.  (Of course, whether we actually live this out as we believe it is antoher matter.)

Like King David tells us of God in his poetry, there is no place God is not. Psalm 139.

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave,^a you are there.

The study and exercise of Ignatian principles to improve the abilities of discernment involve the intellect, emotion, memory, and will.

I’ll be sharing those ways and methods here regularly to help you become categorically better at discernment.
Starting now:

What is the first exercise in learning discernment?
Preparing the “soil of one’s heart”.

Imagine that you’ve never run more than a few blocks in your entire lifetime. And maybe when you did it was just to avoid getting bitten by a dog or to catch the ice cream truck. How easy would it be to get up out of bed one early Saturday morning and complete a marathon without ever training your body?  (What is it 26 point something miles? UGH.)

OUCH. . .would be the key word. Oh, and failure.

Beneficial and godly discernment requires that your heart and mind do some prep work too. Some inventory and reflection is needed. Some opening of our will to God. Some asking God to make you ready to hear his voice, change and work on your heart and mind, and improve your hearing (mainly, but not just the spiritual kind).

Start with these few questions:

Focus in on the area that requires discernment then ask,
1. What have I done in the past?

2. What am I doing now?

3. What ought I to do in the future OR What do I hope for the future?

Try to be as specific as possible with your answers. Write them down, pray about them, and revisit them later.
This is no easy sledding and it helps to have a companion along the way.

More on discernment next week!

For more information about help with discernment in your life click here.

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Do you know anyone who’s struggling right now or at a crossroads? Would you please tell them about this Series?

Will you pray for me? I’m learning discernment too.
And please don’t leave without sharing something that I can pray about for you.

some other family enjoying mealtime prayer

Do you pray before meals with your family?

This Christian spiritual practice is one I grew up with. I was praying at meals since I was 3, and I remember some of those first prayers. Do you remember getting to pray for the meals as a child? It felt like an honor to be asked, as I recall.

Here’s where it gets weird.
My two children (ages, almost 11 and 8 years old, respectively) seem to loath mealtime prayers, under any circumstances.

Unlike many children from praying homes, mine rebuff any offers to say the prayer at mealtime, even when they are sweetened with awesome bribes! They usually complain about mealtime prayer, despite our conversations about having our particular family tradition and its importance in our view of the world. Most often, the kids see mealtime prayers as a unpleasant obstacle preventing their nourishment. And, it seems to be worsening as time goes by.

That’s right a 30 second prayer time before meals is worse than other forms of child torture…like going to bed at 8:00, or hanging up one’s coat, or emptying the silverware from the dishwasher. I don’t get it either.

As a person who’s spent hundreds of hours researching and learning how to help people grow spiritually, this is a bit of a black eye…oh, and a punch in the gut. It’s not just a bit embarrassing to realize, but  it makes me think that perhaps my children’s basic spiritual formation is compromised if these times of prayer are not meaningful and helpful when we do them. I think we could all be the worse for our failure here.

So, I’ve been speaking with my husband about how we can change things up, and enliven family prayer time to make God, and thanking God for our food more participatory, vivified, and worthwhile for all of us. I want children with grateful hearts.

I thought of some ideas, and I hope you will contribute to the mix too. I could use your ideas and advice.

Idea 1. Lighting a candle:
Kids love fire. Right? I’d like to try to light a voitive candle for each of us and read John 8:12

Then Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

We can then respond. “Thank you Jesus for your light in our hearts. Thank you for our meal. Amen.”

Idea 2. Maybe adding a kind of prop, visual aid, or short object lesson with our practice would make it not just a more interesting time, but will carry on in their thoughts. Then, at night when putting them to bed, we could bring it up again, for a little meditating or conversation for an evening prayer.

Idea 2. Maybe using a mixing of responsive prayers during the week could awaken us to a richer time of thanks before meals.

Prayer 1:

(lead voice) The eyes of all wait upon you, O God,
(others) And you give them their food in due season.

You open wide your hand
and fill all things living with plenteousness.

Bless, O Lord, these gifts to our use and us in your service;
relieve the needs of those in want and give us thankful hearts;
for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Prayer 2:

(lead voice) Bless us, O Lord, who bless your holy name
and by this food, feed us for your holy service.

(others) Thank you, Father and Lord. Amen.

This one could be said after meal time, to add some thankfulness “bookends” to the time together.

After meal prayer:

(lead voice) All your works praise you, O God,
(others) And your faithful servants bless you.

They make known the glory of your kingdom
And speak of your power.

For these and all God’s gifts and graces,
let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God. Amen.

Other ideas:

1. We could also go around the table and thank God for something. (My kids balk at this usually.)

2. We could stand and hold hands, or change our posture during prayer, from the norm (which for us is holding hands while seated).

3. When could listen to a singing of a psalm, or worship song before the meal.

HELP! What else can be done to make mealtime prayer better?

I present these two passages to you, from my own meditation time today, for your own reflection. Either one is a good choice for meditative prayer (Lectio Divina) which I have written about in previous posts. (You can do a search, or click on the appropriate category at the bottom of the page, for the 4 movements typical to this prayer form.) I have taken these two passages from the material offered in the Holy Bible: Mosaic by Tyndale, pages 58-59.

After reading these, please share your reflections.

Psalm 29:3-4

The voice of the LORD echoes above the sea.

The God of glory thunders.

The LORD thunders over the mighty sea.

The voice of the LORD is powerful;

the voice of the LORD is majestic.

O Love, How Deep

O Love, how deep, how broad, how high,

it fills the heart with ecstasy,

that God, the Son of God, should take

our mortal form for mortal’s sake.

For us he was baptized, and bore

his holy fast, and hungered sore;

for us temptation sharp he knew,

for us the tempter overthrew.

For us he prayed, for us he taught,

for us his daily works he wrought;

by words and signs and actions thus

still seeking not himself, but us.

For us to wicked men betrayed,

scourged, mocked, in purple arrayed,

he bore the shameful cross and death,

for us at length gave up his breath.

For us he rose from death again;

for us he went on high to reign;

for us he sent his Spirit here,

to guide, to strengthen, and to cheer.

To him whose boundless love has won

salvation for us through his Son,

to God the Father, glory be

both now and through eternity.

-Thomas Á Kempis (Germany/ c. 1380-1471)