Lisa Colón DeLay

I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.

Gleanings

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.

• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.

• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.

• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.

Communication and Transactions

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.

• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.

The biggest reason people divorce? 

• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)

The most important things we can teach our children?

• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)

Are you considered an Exciting Leader or a Consistent one?

It’s hard to balance both.

This is the last post for this week’s topic at the Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog running September 10-14th. A new topic will be offered up for contributions and discussion later in the month.

Remember, you are invited to add your voice to the greater dialogue too. Go here to get details, a spiffy Badge, and get started. I’ll be sure to check for your link and read your contribution, and others will too.

Once upon a time…

I had a boss. She was a pioneer; she was inspiring.

Back when email accounts were rare, and big companies had to be heartily convinced that a budget for a website wasn’t foolish, she hired me after merely looking at my portfolio and resumé in an email document.

We never met.

There was no on-site interview.

She just called and told me she wanted me after an email exchange. Boom. I was hired.

This was unheard of.

She mentioned this strange and new-fangled hiring fact in a speech to show how fast things were changing through innovations in technology. She was ahead of her time.

I thought working for her would be exciting. We were breaking into new technological territory each day, and she saw a bright future for us. But, she turned out to be capricious and inconsistent. No one knew what she would say or do next. It was hard to follow her or to trust her because she was so unpredictable. Turnover was high and people were often fired as soon as things went wrong.

This is not uncommon in Leadership.

It’s tricky to be a Leader who’s exciting and inspiring and yet one who uses consistent leadership methods that help people follow well.

Leaders, it’s important to be predictable, especially in our character and responses.

If people can’t tell how you’ll react, or if immaturity has you all over the map, your leadership will erode. You’ll lose support. Failure is imminent.

In both of New Gingrich’s recent bids for the White House his team complained that while he had inspiring and innovative ideas, he was hard to follow. He’d bounce from one objective to another and go with his gut without communicating what he was thinking or going to do. At one point a mass exodus happened in all the top positions of his campaign. Poor leadership.

On the other hand, someone like long-time politician Bob Dole was so consistent that he was utterly uninspiring to those he hoped to lead. He failed to generate enough excitement for his ideas. No momentum. Failure.

Inspiring vision beyond current circumstances is vital.

The balance is a tough skill set to master. It comes through trail and error and personal growth.

Check yourself.

Are you both inspiring and consistent?

How could you even this out?

Read the 4 other entries for this Leadership Week series, and please pass along a link to this page so others can tap into the information.

Thanks for coming today.

What happens when a Leader imposes a term limit on him or herself?

A few things and they’re all good.

Again today, I’m a Contributor at the Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog that runs September 10-14th.

You are invited to add your voice to the greater dialogue too. Go here to get details, get your spiffy Badge, and get started! I’ll be sure to check for your link and read your contribution, and others will too.

George Washington had a brilliant idea about his job as a leader: impose term limits

Although George Washington had the character and credibility to be President as long as he desired, he saw the dangers inherent in keeping the same position of leadership for too long.

It’s rare that a leader will have the wisdom to limit his or her position, but it creates some things vital to the long-term success of the organization.

A corruption of power is the most obvious reason leadership needs limits, but some other vital reasons apply.

Freshness A organization is essentially locked into the era in which it was created. Organizations naturally lose momentum. Most Presidents accomplish far less in their second term, and shakeups at companies are sometimes the only thing that truly incite needed positive growth. Apple is a prime example. When Steve Jobs left Apple he gained perspective. It floundered without him, but when he return success was assured. Most leaders grow complacent or uninspired as time goes by, even without knowing it. Having a break is good.

THIS IS CRITICAL to KNOW:
The ability to evolve and adjust to changing times and circumstances decreases the longer that organization exists. The tendency to stay with what has worked works against innovation and growth. Two things that are critical to organizational health, development, and future success.

Authentic Succession
A planned shift in leadership energizes a group and creates opportunities for new vision. Studies, like this one, show that most organizations don’t have any legitimate succession plans, even at places where CEOs only last for 3-5 years.

Churches do the same sort of thing, but far worse. They don’t see that new leaders take over and move into position until a big problem or gap exists. Crisis mode determines succession in most cases. It’s regrettable.

Commitment
If you knew that your leadership post, say in a church or in a community organization, would only last 2 years, would it make it easier to accept the position? Would you put in more devotion and energy knowing that you were installed for a set time? I know I would! Sometimes positions of leadership are simply filled by the closest warm body who’s willing to do it, not by the most talented person for the job.

Organizations often find it difficult to get dedicated leaders, but sometimes this is because commitments necessary for the job are vague or appear too long-term to be desirable. The most talented person passes on the offer to lead. But what if the norm was term limits? What if you could tell an upcoming leader, “You’re perfect for this job, and we need a full commitment for a year, and then we’ll let someone else have a turn.”?

Accountability Nothing improves performance more than when a person has boundaries and healthy oversight. It’s said that the Broadway Show Spiderman, which spent over $80 million and nine years in production, was a total flop because creative limits and other typical boundaries weren’t never in place. It failed to open six times. When it didn’t it was plagued with problems.

With free-reign productivity falters and needed decision aren’t made.

Boundaries on time, resources, and other parameters actually help, not hurt, projects and organizations. Creativity and resources focused on solving specific problems that limitations offer. Limitations create tangible possibilities. The result is innovation and progress. A limit on the parameters and length of  power is very important too.

So, ask yourself….Where could you limit your power?

We’ve all heard that Leaders should keep learning, right?

But what should be the focus of this learning?

<cue suspenseful music>

In case you haven’t been here before, I’m a Contributor at the Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog that runs September 10-14th.

You are invited to add your voice to the greater dialogue too. Go here to get details, get your spiffy Badge, and get started! I’ll be sure to check for your link and read your contribution.

So, what’s important for Leaders to learn?

They’ve actually studied this stuff, so rather than just give you my opinion, let’s look at what the research from the Center for Creative Leadership found.

Assessing leadership strengths

When subordinates rated their company leaders, failure was found, quite a bit. But, their failures of leadership overwhelmingly stemmed from certain character qualities and interpersonal relationships rather than their technical skills needed to do their job well.

Their failures were actually personal failings.

Poor or inconsistent values and the inability to communicate and interact well with their co-workers were the biggest problems. By a long shot.

When leaders were considered failures personal failing were overwhelmingly the reasons why. This isn’t just true for only the corporate world, is it?

See, Technical training is fairly easy to do, and most companies may do that sort of training. Lots of place can educate you with book knowledge. But, training some one to be a better person from the inside out, well, that’s hard. It rarely happens formally, to be honest. But, obviously, according to the little black bar at the bottom there, this is the kind of education and transformation is a must for leaders to truly succeed.

Learning and revising our most core-level traits and behaviors moves into spiritual issues. Growth at a spiritual core-level is how transformational personal change can happen. But, there has to be a hefty “want to” from the learner. Time, money, and effort is needed, even if the learning isn’t formal. Too few meet the challenge; the media reports these failings daily. Authority figures are dropping like flies, people.

A company can’t force a person to take up this hard task, it comes from a internal commitment to do better, look at the negative stuff, make new habits, and do what ever hard work is necessary to improve. And when guidance and mentoring moves the learner beyond theory to applying the new lessons learned, personal or professional success is far more likely is the short and long terms.

One of the reasons I’m supporting this Synchroblog effort is because it pairs with a new program [A Master of Arts Degree in Christian Leadership] that focuses developing the spiritual formation of Leaders as well as important management skills. It’s education that will help improve all facets of one’s life and career.

The shortages of integrity in leadership don’t have to be the norm, and I don’t want it to be.

Sure, it’s harder than learning a new technique in organization or production, but it sets up the learning leader to succeed not just in her current position of leadership, but in all the aspects of her life now, and later when other challenges arise.

Maturity, integrity, and harmony with others is what makes a leader worth following.

When leaders fail it’s usually because they haven’t taken the time and done the hard internal and ongoing work to grow, mature, and be a better person. So, let’s do the hard the hard work, and encourage other to do the same.

That is what a Leader should continue to learn.

Yatmandu via Compfight

The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.

— Kenneth Blanchard

Today’s Wisdom:

A Good Leader Invites.

Some bosses are still tyrannical and ill-tempered. Is it just immaturity, or is some of this vestiges of wartime attitudes that still seep into the management and leadership styles of corporations or even families?

“Do as I say. That’s an order, soldier!”

The big flaw in a bossy leadership style is that civilians are not subject to demands of rank and orders from a autocrats.

They can quit.

They can walk off the job, or worse than any of that, they can undermine everything and stay onboard, resentfully.

What kills morale more than passive-aggresive subordinates mucking up the works, sabotaging projects, and sucking the life out of a group? It’s dire.

Instead, Leaders of this era must INVITE rather than command.

That means that good Leaders draw in their followers rather than intimidating them.

Despot types will always be among us, but the focus in Leadership development these days isn’t about demanding respect. It’s about what gets results and makes positive change. It centers on earning respect.

Do you remember a time when a Leader invited you?

The best examples often come from the world of coaching and mentoring. These relationships are not forced, but forged, mutually.

There, Leadership is not where Authority is the predominant issue; trust is what counts.

I’m happy to be a Contributor at the Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog that runs September 10-14th.

You’re welcome to add your voice too. Go here to get details. When you contribute, I’ll be sure to check for your link and read your contribution.

I’m proud to be a Contributor at the Deeper Leader SyncrhoBlog that runs September 10-14th.

You’re welcome to add your voice too. Go here to get details. I’ll be sure to check for your link and read your contribution.

Today’s Wisdom:

A Good Leader Listens.

Have you ever been talking to you boss and trying to communicate an urgent point, and you can tell that your boss is thinking about other things? He’s only waiting until you stop talking for a nano-second to tell you something he thinks is more important. I still gets surprised when this happens to me.

So many failures of leadership could be avoided by listening well in the first place. But, here’s the surprise. This is actually a spiritual problem.

A spiritually mature person is an excellent listener.

Truly listening helps those who lead not just to properly assess what is really happening so one can choose a good response, but it also helps a Leader find new talent to raise up new Leaders. Leadership is all about influence, and influencing others to be spiritually mature as they lead is crucial. In case you haven’t noticed the examples of immature and failed leadership are legion.

When we mentor others we must be attuned to what ones their gifts to lead others well. Too often we skip this part on our way to imparting our “wisdom” and getting them to absorb what we have to offer them.

Good Listening skills are rare and under-developed, so to get better at listening start by paying attention.

Did you ever have a boss who didn’t listen? Let me know.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about the next thing that makes a good Leader: INVITATION

Come back and read it tomorrow!

What Makes a Good Leader?

This is the first question of the Leadership Synchroblog sponsored by Evangelical Seminary, running September 10th-14th. (And then about twice per month)

Though most of us don’t run big companies, command platoons, or lead mega-churches, we’ve all had our experiences with leadership.

And in certain ways we all lead:

• As a parent

• As a mentor, coach, or teacher

• In ministry

• On a project

• At our job

• In our neighborhood

…and so on.

So you’ve probably learned some things along the way through your own experiences. OR, conversely, you’ve been led by an inapt leader…so, you know what NOT to do.

Whatever your story, you can read excellent Leadership resources AND join in the first Leadership Synchroblog in the week of SEPTEMBER 10-14th (2012).

Weigh in on “What Makes a Good Leader”. Other topics will follow, usually twice per month. You can check the blog for guest writers and new Synchroblog topics. Write you own contribution and then connect to this bigger conversation.

Sometimes you find your niche. Sometimes a niche presents itself. And sometimes you get a bit of both and it feels like Paris in Springtime, which smells great and involves kissing (and I’ll just save that bit for some other post, or my dairy).

Finding one’s niche includes a merging of ingredients:

• Perparation

• Passion

• Education

• Opportunity

You put it all together and you make it with an “m” (for mission)

And you get patty cake instead of hokey pokey.

My niche is now helping and encouraging Creators and Communicators.

People who feel put on the planet to create things or communicate important things.

Have you found your niche yet?

Or would you like some encouragement or direction?

I’ve creating new resources for just that thing.

Tell us what you like to focus on or Leave a link so we can find your niche.

I’m thrilled to have John O’Keefe as our featured guest writer. John is at the tail end of finishing his dissertation, and is writing a book about vision for Christian ministry and leadership in this century. Some exciting times are just around the corner, and I do believe John has some valuable insights to share. Below is a brief bio, and then his post. It’s sure to whet your appetite for what’s to come. Feel free to ask him more about it, contribute your thoughts, and give John a shout out.

Bio:

John  is a doctoral candidate at George Fox Seminary, and has been called a “creative futurist ,” by people other than his mom. For 15 years has been an active voice in the emerging/evolving conversation regarding Christian Spirituality. As Senior Pastor and Church Planter with 15 years experience, he is leader, and a dynamic, honest, up front speaker and consultant. 

Besides being the founder of ginkworld, John has written for a number of other ezines: the Ooze , dtour , Next-Wave , and others. John has also written for homiletics and other publications. He likes to take pictures of himself driving, such as you see here.

John O'Keefe

The Conceptual Church: A Vision

-by John O’Keefe

When I was asked by Lisa to be a guest blogger, I was excited.  I was excited because in her request she told me I could share with you what was on my heart and for me, as of late, that has been the idea of leadership in the emerging church.   First, I want to say that I am beyond the term “emerging.”  Not because I see it as a “bad” word, but because I am beyond thinking in terms of “emerging” and think more in terms of being a conceptual church – let me explain.

When we think in terms of “emerging” I think in terms of “coming from.”  That is to say, a flower emerges from the plant.  While the flower “emerges” it is still very much the same as the plant it emerged from, with minor variations in color and size.  The flower will go to seed and produce a plant pretty much the same as the plant it comes from – the cycle continues; even though they emerge they carry the DNA to the next generations.  So I have found with the leadership concepts of the emerging church.  Those in leadership are products of what I call the “industrial church” (what many are still calling the modern church).  Because of this, many emerging churches are simply younger offspring of the industrial church model.  While the church may look different, at its core leadership there is very little difference.  So, what I am calling for is something very different, and something very right brained – something I am calling a “conceptual church” (a church for the 21^st Century).  For the conceptual church we need to develop a “conceptual leader” – a shift from the left brained industrial church to the right brained conceptual church.

I am in the process of writing a book for my doctoral dissertation based on that very reality.  The idea to reach out to a conceptual people we need to develop conceptual churches lead by conceptual leaders.  Right brain thinkers who are creative, empathic, dynamic, and understanding people who see the world with new eyes, and lead in new (yet very ancient) ways.  Without going too deep into the book (not willing to give away the surprise) I will share that one of the keys to understanding a conceptual leader is to see people as people – in the industrial church people are seen as resources and assets and are placed in the “expendable” category when it benefits the organization.  Yet, in a conceptual church people are seen as people and add to the diversity of the of a community of faith.

My prayer is that the book will be ready by the middle of 2010 – let me know what you think.