Maybe it’s happened to you before too…

You look at your child who may sleeping, or being themselves, or doing something they love …and your heart fills with a rush of joy and good pleasure. This is quickly followed by dread.

“Maybe it’ll all be taken away,” you think.

Maybe something terrible is about to happen. Maybe things won’t work out. Fear.

Or perhaps this sort of dread will surface right after a big personal victory or good news.

It’s like that perfect moment of happiness has a gremlin that pops up and spits on it. For many of us, especially if we endured a bit of pain or disappointment, our Joy is followed by foreboding.

This strange death grip on joy is quite common. With a self-protection machete we slash down joy or happiness with contingency plans and preparation for the worst. Upcoming disappointment won’t catch us on our heals, we think.

It’s all about avoiding feeling vulnerable according to Brené Brown who talks about this in her book Daring Greatly. She’s done the research and says that those who’ve done regular preparation to avoid pain still aren’t prepared when disaster strikes. Instead they are devastated, just like the rest of us. But sadly, they have mortgaged away their joyful moments in on-the-spot while bracing for potential disappointment and pain.

So what can inoculate us from from short selling our joy?

It’s simple: In-the-moment gratitude.

Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, push aside the tormenting doubt, dread, or mistrust. Sideline the foreboding that steals that moment and latch onto to gratitude. Hold on with both hands. Gratitude sustains joy. It’s like a Defense Against the Dark Arts skill, says Brown. She’s right. It works.

It might go something like this, “Oh, my, we’re all picnicking and enjoying a wonderful time outside. No one’s fighting and everyone’s happy to be here. Yes, it might not last, but my how grateful I am in this very moment, this perfect beautiful moment. I’m going to let it soak into my bones. I’m breathing it in.”

Stay with it as long as you can. There is a guiding light in gratitude… and gremlins, as we know, are afraid of light.

The truth is that joy and sorrow are linked. They do a dance our whole lives, really. But, hope and resilience can win the day. That’s an important bit of useful knowledge to give our children, too. With some intention, we can live in the Joy.

Oh, and when the other shoe drops, use it as a planter.

(photo source)

Thank you for reading today. If you’d pass this article along to someone who needs it or out on the inter webs, I’d be grateful. You can  feature it on your blog too. Just click on the Permissions Policy for details to stay legit.

I hope you’ll sign up for future posts in the sidebar! Have a joyful day sustained by gratitude today, friend.

This weekend I’m the spiritual director at the Renew & Refine Writer’s Retreat.

So many times as writers or creatives we fail to integrate Soul Care into ordinary life. This has a burnout or burn up effect. Eventually, we end up hurting not only ourselves but those close to us. Even worse we often end up damaging our ongoing work–our vocation (what we are called and gifted to do). Vocation is the very thing that makes life so meaningful and rewarding.

God’s wishes for us to be uniquely us. We have permission to work and be in a way that is life-giving to ourselves and others.

This is why a “Rule of Life” or regular rhythm of self care and God-awareness is vital. It’s not complicated but it’s so very necessary. You can just start with your calendar and clear out certain days for what you really need.

Jesus, in discipling his followers, said it this way:

Matthew 11:29

Becoming a disciple refers to training–to process. The process of this life-giving training leads us to more abundant life. It’s not binary: all good or all bad. Dead end or open vista. It’s a bit of both and really a pilgrimage. Getting on with it is helped when we take up better habits that give us more breathing room and vitality, just like learning to pack a suitable backpack makes hiking and camping a better experience.

Some habits may involve integrating certain spiritual practices like morning prayer, meditating on Scripture, fellowship, unplugging from technology, or observing a sabbath rest, to name a few. Many refreshing options exist. Only by being habitual can we truly reap the benefits. Freedom can happen in a schedule crafted for breath of life. This is actually the real meaning of the word “religion”. Religion simply means “bind”…it’s the fiber or tether that helps us hold on to a sweeter and richer life. (Of course, the word has been spoiled and perverted in every which way, and some reject using outright because of all the baggage that comes along with it. Yet, in its simplest form “religion” refers to how we stay grounded and become our most fully human selves, if we don’t make our tether a noose or shackle instead!)

To be sure, this stuff of routines and habits is hard for me because I tend to do a whole bunch of things and once and push soul care to the side as “least urgent”. Too often I forget that just like I need food every day, I also need to care for my Soul (my whole integrated self).

The following are some great tools I’ve found quite helpful as spiritually enriching resources for devotional practices and learning how to have a deeper walk with God: Creator, Jesus, and Spirit.

Pick one that looks good to you, and get started.

Handbooks

Refreshing Devotionals (quick reads)

On soul Care

Regaining yourself – Prayer of the Heart

Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:

1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.

2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.

(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)

I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.

Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.

A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.

Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.

So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.

• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.

• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.

• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.

• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.

• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for other things.

# # #

When was the last time you got away?

 If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.

I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.

Christianity just lost a wonderful teacher. Today, Dallas Willard has died of cancer at the age of 77.

As a person who has spent countless hours learning about spiritual formation and endeavoring to be formed well, I am saddened that we’ve lost such an insightful man. A number of his books were part of my required texts and his keen wisdom helped to shape me.

In homage to him today, I will refer you to this article that is very helpful for understanding the difference between discipleship and spiritual formation and why the formation of our characters into Christ-likeness gets sidelined in churches and Christian institutions. It’s quite good.

Remember to say a prayer today for all those who grieve his loss.

article excerpt:

Interview:

What do you mean when you use the phrase spiritual formation?

Willard: In our country, on the theological right, discipleship came to mean training people to win souls. And on the left, it came to mean social action—protesting, serving soup lines, doing social deeds. Both of them left out character formation.

Isn’t character formation very much a part of many Christian schools and institutions?

Willard: What sometimes goes on in all sorts of Christian institutions is not formation of people in the character of Christ; it’s teaching of outward conformity. You don’t get in trouble for not having the character of Christ, but you do if you don’t obey the laws.

Read the rest here.

This is the video collection of the last conference Dallas Willard did in February on Knowing Christ, and the Dallas Willard Institute at Westmont College. (It’s excellent) 

To visit the Dallas Willard Center at Westmont click here.

Here are just a few of my favorites:

29 DAYS!

That’s all the time that’s left until a retreat I’m really excited to be a part of!

The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers is a very special weekend that mixes fellowship, community, expert writing insights, and an enriching spiritual experience. Ed Cyzewski and Kristin Tennant have put their heads together to create something important and lovely that will give you perspective and space to find refreshment and inspiration unlike any typical writing conference can. Let’s face it, you need this!

Whether you’re a seasoned writer who’d like some sacred space to learn, grow, and rejuvenate, or you are a part-time or aspiring writer who’d like to pursue a deeper calling, meet other writers, and hear from seasoned pros, this retreat will be a boon!

I’m personally extra excited that the beauty of nature, time for laughter, relationship building, super yummy, specially-cooked family style meals, and time for personal reflection or solitude is built-in from the onset. Some have even called this the retreat keeps the introvert in mind! (But I assure you extroverts, like me, will love it too.)

Breathe a sigh of relief! Instead, of just getting bombarded with great info or squeezing in networking between workshop breaks, this time (May 24-26) will have space built-in for you to connect, learn, and enjoy relaxation and times of quiet too. Heaven? Maybe.

We’ll be at the Trinity Lodge. An interior picture is shown here…Looks cozy, huh?

If you’d like to save $25, see if you can spot the secret promo code word in this blog. I left some clues.

(Psst. If you figure it out, you can share it.) See you soon!

Sign up or learn more about the weekend here!

(Oh, one more thing! Did you already sign up to go? Or do want some extra awesome?

If you spot promo code and you are the first share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RRforwriters I’ll have a special care package for you when I see you there, May 24th.)

I was loving this post by Doug Jackson. There are times when I read very good writing and a joy fills my soul. Today was one of those times, and so I thought I’d share an excerpt and entice you to enjoy the rest of it at the link below.

(the image is of a fishing boat from Palestine in 1st Century from in 1986, and nicknamed “the Jesus Boat”)

Thursday: Messing About in Boats

excerpt:

I thought about my car, a quarter-century old Toyota Corolla of indeterminate color and inelegant pedigree. It isn’t quite as long or wide as the Jesus Boat. Dog hair flecks the threadbare upholstery. A neighbor told me he always knows when I head for work or return home by the choked grumble of my engine. It is small. It is old. Is it also an opportunity for the mighty works of Christ?

And, of course, if this is true of that disreputable beater I drive, it is also true of the disreputable driver. A tiny life, a fool’s motley of patchwork parts, unshrunk scraps that have pulled great gaps where unwashed wisdom met threadbare experience. Throughout my days I have tinkered with the finicky mental mechanism, duct-taped the physical dilapidation, rerouted the spiritual wiring and generally tried to get ‘er to crank over for one more commute. One of these days the thing will flat refuse to run and the cankering rust won’t hold up to bolts or solder. I’ll just shove the whole concern into the high weeds and walk away. ~Doug Jackson, from Israel

 

Read the rest, I implore you! HERE

Chris Morton got my attention with his summary insights from the recent Missio Alliance conference.

He made 8 key observations, but this one really struck me.

6. Anabaptists
Many of those at Missio fall into what I once heard referred to as “the Hauerwas mafia.” That is, those inspired by the writing of Hauerwas, Yoder and others, to think of themselves as neo-Anabaptist. Historically, anabaptists have either been persecuted by other churches, or have disengaged from the world (Amish).

However, Anabaptism has one key tennent which is suddenly very valuable: it has never excepted the claims of Christendom, Christendom (culturally and governmentally enforced Christianity) and thinks of the church as a local, incarnational, counter society. As Christendom crumbles around North America and Western Europe, the Anabaptist tradition offers a posture for understanding the church’s place in the world.

(emphasis mine)

Loyalties

If Anabaptists have sort of weathered the storm that is Christian enmeshment in the over-influencial cultural siren of political involvement–and I think they have–we have a lot to learn from them moving forward. The Anabaptist tradition challenges us, in a most important way, to question some of our misplaced loyalties.

Issues of social justice come to the fore as well in this outlook because we begin to identify with and reach out to the people that Jesus did: the underdogs, the powerless, and those without a voice in the power games.

Is the shift obvious yet?
The U.S. cultural climate has changed drastically in the last 10 years. Is this reality evading us? It is.

Especially in Bible Belt areas that primary operate in a Christian biosphere. “Christian Land” happens in the places of profitable enterprises, power, influence, and a whole world dedicated to a kind of Christian sub-culture that, sadly, makes too little impact on the non-churched population.

Nashville comes to mind, for one. But there are plenty of less obvious locations that don’t have the sheen of Nash-Vagas. It’s the insular world (sometimes accompanied with chic hairdos and great pedicures) were folks really think their sorts of movies like Courageous deserve an Academy Award….and maybe woulda gotten one if it weren’t for them Hollywood liberals!

Yet, in most places in the U.S. the post-Christian era is here. Fully. To the unchurched, in many areas of the country, Christians and their silly churchy ways are impotent charicatures suitable for mocking. To those outside the bubble, they aren’t making a difference too much in the world, and not making progress in the spiritual depth of their own cliché either.

This means a reevaluation of what it means to be Christian and living a Kingdom life is crucial.

We need to once again ask, as we must in every generation:

• “What are our core values and mission as Kingdom people?”

• “Are our ways the upside down Kingdom ways?”

• If not, what should we learn? What is most meaningful moving forward?

The sifting begins!

Want my best guess? Millenials are the key to traction for the Kingdom now.

You can read Chris’ 7 other insights here.

As new Pope Francis makes bold statements through actions (washing the feet of inmates, taking residence in the papal guest house, etc) the word I hear tossed about concerning his leadership is MEEK.

Too often lumped as a quality of weakness, Meek Leadership has secret powers!

So what is the word “meek” about and how can it be so influential?

My leadership professor, Tim Valentino, wrote some comments I’d like to share with you.

(You can read more of Tim at his blog)

Leadership and Meekness?

The biblical word for this is “meek” (praus). A related word is “gentle” (prautes).

The semantic range of this word cluster includes the following: humble, gentle, considerate, unassuming, courteous, and restrained. In some contexts it means, “the absence of pretension.” By way of contrast, it’s the opposite of harsh, arrogant, or braggadocios.

As used outside the New Testament, this word has in it the idea of “lying low.” It was a word originally used, for example, to describe a low-lying river—one that cut through a valley. A river, of course, is a powerful thing, but a low-lying river is one that doesn’t impose its power on you. You have to go out of your way to go see it because it’s unobtrusive.

It’s important to keep in mind, I think, that “meek” does not mean “weak.” Unfortunately, these two words rhyme in English, but they are not synonymous. Nor does this word mean timid, shy, bashful, cowardly, indecisive, or unwilling to serve. Perhaps the best definition comes from William Barclay, who defined meekness as “power under control.”

Again, as used outside the Bible in the first century, this word referred to:

• Tame animals (cf. an elephant with its foot on a circus lady)
• Soothing medicine (cf. buffered aspirin or anti-anxiety drugs)
• A gentle breeze (cf. not a tornado, but wind that is refreshing to the body)

All of these items can have tremendous, destructive power, but “meekness” brings them under control to serve a good purpose. Significantly, Jesus, who has all authority in heaven and earth, quintessentially displays meekness. He said in Matthew 11:29:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus, of course, was a great leader. He was also meek. Apparently God thinks the two should go together.

Questions to ponder:

§ Do you know anyone who is powerful yet meek?
§ Do you know anyone who is authoritative yet gentle?
§ Could your leadership be described as “meek” in the sense used here?
§ How would our work environments improve if our leaders were meek?

Today, I’m synching up with the Deeper Leader blog over the question:

What new beginnings will there be for you or your team?

Well! I just started my second 9 week class in my Masters of Arts in Christian Leadership. (It’s sort of like a power-packed Christian MBA)

This weekend we met for class (the rest of the learning happens online).

The time was packed with insights and new material, all of which will be so helpful not just with getting to know my fellow-learners, but in every environment I am leading in and will lead in.

The course centers on leadership theories and involves a lot of searching and self-awareness, learning of one’s strengths, temperaments, and personal leadership styles. Sometimes this is encouraging, but other times the process reveals blind spots, wounds, and flaws. 

I’ve realized that a wounded but healed leader is the easiest for me to trust.

The insights we gain from knowing ourself and others better works like getting bionic limbs just before we climb a mountain. Things that were confusing, personalities that seemed perplexing, and the power for gifts and talents laser into focus.

Here are a few of the books I’m learning from that I’ve really been enjoying. (Two Big thumbs up!)

Another test I took for the course has to do with using a social and emotional competency inventory tool (ESCI). Social and emotional intelligence is too rare a commodity in bosses, in case you haven’t heard. :)

Plus, I did the Myers-Briggs Test. (I’m an EN(F/T)P, almost split F&T)
Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs test?  (If so, what are your letters?)

Have you taken the Strength Finder test (it comes with the book)?

I highly recommend it! You will be blessed and so will those you influence!

A time away, you probably need it.

When the frontline of life starts to weaken your reserves you need a retreat to revive yourself so you’re ready for anything you need to face.
- Starting June, 2013

Throughout my life God has provide spiritual guides to journey with me and encourage me when I needed it most.

In gratitude I hoped to offer this to others as well. It took a number of years, but I got the needed experience in mentoring, leading, and companioning plus my Masters Degree in Spiritual Formation, and now I enjoy guiding spiritual pilgrims, like you, (and from various faith traditions) in transforming, personalized getaways–for a few hours or a few days.

This experience helps you explore the ways of God and your own inner world in a very potent, personal, and rejuvenating way, for a few hours at a time or a few days at a time, which ever suits your circumstances.

It’s what you might call a “Boutique Retreat” experience because each time is an original, from the ground up. Each is specially designed with you in mind to breathe freshness and insights into your life in a way you have rarely or ever encountered. Great care is taken to nourish your soul and aid you in transformation, healing, and growth. You can even bring a friend.

Like readying a garden plot, I create a safe and sacred space for you to better encounter God through the Holy Spirit. Your needs like food and devotional material are provided for you, so you needn’t worry about the details. All you have to do is show up and be ready for the seeds of renewal.

You have complete permission to relax, breathe deeply, and encounter God in a way that most helps you, with as much structure or free time as you enjoy.

Following a preliminary conversation about your current spiritual needs or life circumstances, I tailor the experience to you and with gentle shepherding I include elements such as spiritual companioning, prayer, time for private reflection, and enjoying God’s creation as we journey onward.

Deep calls to Deep
Have you been feeling soul-weary, spiritually thirsty, or you sense God calling you to something deeper? It’s time to listen. Getaway and rediscover yourself as God’s Beloved. As you recover yourself you will sense God’s love more deeply become a greater blessing to others.

This sort of Soul Care doesn’t happen at a conference, in personal devotional time, or at a church service. While those things are usually helpful and needed, the occasion of a personalize spiritual experience like this one is truly unique.

• Some find added value in bringing a friend or two along to journey together, and that is encouraged if it’s a good fit for you.

The cost is minimal. The experience is priceless.

Within a gorgeous setting you will enjoy feeling deeply welcomed, revived, cared for, and blessed… and you will not go away unchanged.

LIST OF GUIDANCE OPTIONS:

Personalized, Specialized, and Focused on your unique needs = Boutique

These special experiences are drenched in prayer for you and are specifically designed to be potent by being limited to an intimate number of 1-4 participants only. (Prices below reflect per person costs. Groups of 3 or 4 may deduction %10. New referrals have the same discount.)

Retreat on a budget:
• Personal Guided Prayer and Refreshment Retreat 1/2 Day (4 hours) $45 per person.
(a.m. or p.m. options available)

To raise money for your retreat go here.

MOST popular:
• Personal Guided Prayer and Renewal Retreat Overnight option (at retreat center) 1/2 day  (4 hours) + full day (6 structured hours + free time) $140.
Includes 2 meals (breakfast and lunch 2nd day. Departure in afternoon), a snack (1st evening), modest room accommodations, and a personalized schedule with prayer, time for reflection, and guided devotional time.

Most Restful:
• Custom-crafted Guided Prayer and Rejuvenating Retreat Weekend (at retreat center)
Schedule: 2 half days (Friday and Sunday) and a special engaging schedule on Saturday. (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday and snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.) $250 [limited spots]

• Leadership Development Retreat Weekend. For emerging and developing leaders, this personalize retreat experience focuses on vocation, self-discovery, interpersonal skills, spiritual growth, and leadership development to ensure success in leadership or correct problems in current aspects of leading. $275 (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday, snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.)

A Must for anyone in ministry:
• Personal Guided Prayer and Resting Retreat–for Pastors or care-givers. This option caters to the special needs of those who minister and regularly offer care to others (such as lay leaders, helps professionals, parents, and those caring for elderly parents)

Often pastors and care givers empty themselves but don’t make the time to be adequately refilled. This is a gift a pastor or care givers should give to him or herself, but a healthy congregation will offer these opportunities for pastors. Ask your group to sponsor you for a needed getaway.

This particular personalize retreat experience focuses on refreshment, healing, spiritual growth, and development to strengthen the minster, lay leader or care giver for further service. A discount is provided to those in full-time ministry or care. Weekend option: $235. 1 Day Overnight option: $130. (Weekend option includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday, snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure. 1 Day Overnight option: 1/2 day  (4 hours) + full day (6 hours). Includes 2 meals (breakfast and lunch 2nd day. Departure in afternoon.)

For the artistic soul
• Artist and Writer Guided Retreat Weekend. This retreat is designed with the artistic or creative temperament in mind. Focusing on Soul Care, encouragement, healing, and purpose/vocation this retreat will most refresh and invigorate those in creative fields like the arts and writing with guidance and exercises tailored specifically and personally for discovery and development. $275 (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday + snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.)

Something different:
• Personalized Guided Dream Work Retreat Weekend. For those who want to discover or understand the rich world of dreaming for growth, discernment, and added personal and spiritual insights. Dreamers of all levels will benefit and see the rich history of God using dreams to connect with his people.

Seriously, go away to dream? Yes, here’s some Reasons to Go…
•You rarely dream but want to dream more

•You want to gain a better understanding of your dreams and how God is using them to teach you

•You have trouble with nightmares and reoccurring dreams.

Learn how to generally decipher dreams, sleep better, have lucid dreams, and better understand how God really uses 1/3 of your life (the percentage of hours you sleep) to guide, heal, encourage, and transform you in a special way. Lots of fun, relaxing, and insights aplenty. $285 (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday + snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.)

Spiritual Formation
Personalized (Boutique) Retreats usually include introductions and guidance to simple but effective spiritual exercises and disciplines in collaboration with several modest reading assignments, journaling and discovery opportunities, scheduled time for one-to-one guidance, free time/reflection time, prayer, enjoying God’s creation, and spiritual practices that are customized to your particular needs, tradition, learning style, and temperament. It’s time to go deeper!

(These experiences also make a very thoughtful gift for someone who needs a getaway!)

Some of the Spiritual Exercises and Practices we may explore together, as you wish:

• Exploring Christian Prayer Forms (praying the hours, breath prayer, centering prayer, Jesus Prayer, praying with a visual aid, imaginative prayer, lectio divina, contemplative prayer {prayer of the heart/apophatic}, prayer walk, labyrinth prayer, and others.)

• Spiritual Disciplines (silence, meditation, self-care, study, examen, rest, spiritual-companioning, communion, journaling, confession, prayer forms, and others.)

Limited Space 
I cannot accommodate all requests for personalized retreats, so only a limited number of spots are available. Please contact through the voice mail feature, the contact-me tab, or leave a comment below to get started or inquire further.

New to Guided Retreats?
A first session to determine if co-discernment, retreat, or spiritual direction is a good fit for you at this time is completely free. (Payment plans are available if needed, and no seeker will be turned away solely on the basis of inability to pay.)

Location:
Most Retreats are held in Wernersville, PA at the Spiritual Center (as seen in the photos). Click to view campus.

Need a Retreat closer to home?
Contact me and we can discuss the location options that will fit your needs.

To learn the reasons people seek guidance in this way click here.

I look forward to hearing from you. Contact me right away to reserve a time slot.

Upcoming Blessings!

-Lisa

(Please note that costs are set to increase in September. Reserve a Spring or Summer retreat experience soon.)

Non Retreat Setting Option
• Spiritual Guidance Session/Holy Listening/Co-Discernment 
Cost per spiritual session: 1 Hour, $30-45. (in-person or through Skype)

Last night was a big night for FUN. at the Grammys…

I’ve heard their music but never really thought that much of them until they were featured last night in performance on the GRAMMYS and winning several awards.

The night featured new musicians at it always does and I realized just how much music gets to the core of things. It sparks numb areas of the brain and sweeps you into some greater rhythm. Maybe a unifying rhythm with the rest of humanity….or maybe I’m being grandiose.

The songs FUN. did reminded me of something. Not just a period of idealistic youth, but the role that anthems play in our lives. FUN. does well with anthems….those songs that shout a bit, the ones that let you know that something needs to be said, a deeper cry of the heart is ebbing up and pouring forth….maybe like a rain storm on stage.

It made me wonder….”What is my anthem?”

“If you truly love God and his will, then doing what you will, will, in fact, be doing what God wills.” – Peter Kreeft

Many of us strive to learn or discover God’s will. But, it can be confusing.

Dr Peter Kreeft offers 5 insights:

• Always begin with data

with what we know for sure. Judge the unknown by the known, the uncertain by the certain. Adam and Eve neglected that principle in Eden and ignored God’s clear command and warning for the devil’s promised pig in a poke.

• Let your heart educate your mind

Let your love of God educate your reason in discerning his will. Jesus teaches this principle in John 7:17 to the Pharisees. (Would that certain Scripture scholars today would heed it!) They were asking how they could interpret his words, and he gave them the first principle of hermeneutics (the science of interpretation): “If your will were to do the will of my Father, you would understand my teaching.” The saints understand the Bible better than the theologians, because they understand its primary author, God, by loving him with their whole heart and their whole mind.

• Have a soft heart but a hard head

  We should be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves,” sharp as a fox in thought but loyal as a dog in will and deed. Soft-heartedness does not excuse soft-headedness, and hard-headedness does not excuse hard-heartedness.

• All God’s signs should line up

  by a kind of trigonometry. There are at least seven such signs: (1) Scripture, (2) church teaching, (3) human reason (which God created), (4) the appropriate situation, or circumstances (which he controls by his providence), (5) conscience, our innate sense of right and wrong, (6) our individual personal bent or desire or instincts, and (7) prayer. Test your choice by holding it up before God’s face. If one of these seven voices says no, don’t do it. If none say no, do it.

• Look for the fruits of the spirit

  especially the first three: love, joy, and peace. If we are angry and anxious and worried, loveless and joyless and peaceless, we have no right to say we are sure of being securely in God’s will. Discernment itself should not be a stiff, brittle, anxious thing, but—since it too is part of God’s will for our lives—loving and joyful and peace-filled, more like a game than a war, more like writing love letters than taking final exams.

Do you agree… disagree… or have any thoughts on Dr Kreeft’s insights?

Click to read the rest of the (lengthy) article.

Installments in this Discernment Series have often been on Fridays, but this week, I have a special announcement Friday. Come back for that.

Or, never miss new content…click the update link in the right sidebar (top)

As promised, I’m sharing some of my current class on Evil (and the Justice of God) here at the blog.

The sound system, or lack of one, was poor in class, so I wanted to make this available to my class and the rest of you.

Tell me what you think.

Sorry to send you into a sugar coma with the cuteness today!

Today’s question is “What Quiets YOU?”

I was pleased to hear blogging and leadership superstar Michael Hyatt give out some serious props recently for naps and people who take them. I like working late, but my family needs me early. I need my naps. No, I don’t get them regularly. When I don’t something happens. I fall asleep reading. I go right into REM sleep too…as you might imagine.

Except for when I’m exhausted I can only nap when one other thing is in place:

I must feel safe.

If threats loom I am disquieted.

Trust is what quiets down my soul so I can wade through the rest of it, and lay me down to sleep. Trust in God, Trust in myself, and Trust in others.

In finding what quiets our souls we find not just peace, but vitality, and fullness. (click to tweet that reminder)

The hush may come from acceptance, wonder, rest, or satisfaction from a job well done, but it must be found.

Without it we just keep on wandering.

So ask yourself. “What Quiets Me?” How and where am I most settled?

Write down one word to remind yourself, and tape it up somewhere.

It will help you not just remember to find it, but it’ll help you remember who you really are.

wise wizard and guide Gandalf from Lord of the Rings

Today, I’m getting all Jesuit. I’m here with some monks, spiritual siblings, and the Holy Spirit doing an inward gaze with a Lenten focus.

Why? Because it’s good for me.

One of the genuine spiritual perils of blogging is becoming a slave to the blog, and technology in general. The fact is, when I use social media to promote my blog then more people read it. The unintended consequence is that I grow obligated to tend that thorny patch to keep things going.

The fine line between obligatory blog promotion and bondage is a surprisingly fine one. I check my stats. Is this post working? Which tweets helped the most? Who’s retweeting and passing along the message? When and how should I thank him or her? round and round…

The quick result is little carved out time of true unplugging. Something that will directly refresh my soul, establish healthy spaces and balance, sharpen my awareness to God’s will, and in fact create reservoirs in me for better blogging and interactions later.

It’s like going too long without water. Once dehydration sets in you stop feeling thirsty…when water is necessary to put things right again.

As bloggers (or any kind of humans) we must block out time for this true rest. Put it on the calendar in pen, and schedule it in like any other appointment. Otherwise, the urgent crowds out the crucial space and genuine pause we need. And, trust me, we suffer for it.

Have you ever gone on this sort of retreat? You know, a time away with…quiet, prayer, silent or common meals, great scenery, no technology, and maybe even a kind of spiritual Gandalf type guide to help you along the way?

I haven’t been to a monastery for a retreat, so I’ll be excited to share some of what I learn. Friends, Please pray for me today.

See you on the other side!

(This is being submitted to the Deeper Leader Synchro Blog sponsored by Evangelical Seminary. Find out more here.)

WARNING: This post may rock your world. (a.k.a. “BOOM post” )

How should we read and study the Bible?

Debates on this will rage, but one thing we often assume that we can simply read the Bible and understand it. Essentially, the Holy Spirit just pops the correct meanings into our brains. Right?

If that were the simple truth, we’d all be, at least mostly, on the same page in Christianity, and we ARE! Um. bzzzz. No…not. at. all.

The Holy Spirit will convict our conscience of sin, and the Holy Spirit help us understand certain things about God’s nature and his grace. Yet, some huge obstacles lie before us concerning the details of Scriptural text.

These details can, and do turn into doctrine or false teaching that fall outside the intent of the text. In clumsy hands, dogmatic presumptions of the Holy Spirit’s opinion have led to all manner of errors, deceptions, injustice. And this study method, if you will, has even started more than a few whacky cults. Yes, and some involve koolaid.

SO!
If you forget EVERYTHING about this post, please don’t forget this. When interpreting the meaning of the Bible (a.k.a. engaging in hermeneutics) remember: A scripture passage cannot mean something different than its original intent.

Huh? What?
Let that red text sink in. Please…Re-read it.

Seriously. It’s a huge deal once you truly comprehend it, and even bigger when you apply it.

A scripture passage cannot mean something different than its original intent. (That’s a needed re-refresher. Please bear with me.)

Understanding the Bible involves a continual tension between discerning…

Our understanding and the writer’s intent.*

Here are just 5 a mere few of the obstacles that can hinder a proper understanding of scripture:

– Language barriers (Ex. Jesus spoke Aramiac, The New Testament was written in Greek (a dead form of the Greek language now,) and English was taken from the Greek. This book collection HAS TO be divine and God-breathed to still transform individuals, whole communities, and cultures through its message of the Good News!)

– Historical distance barriers (Now is later. Stuff has changed. ‘nuf said.)

– Cultural barriers (We don’t wear the same stuff, and do the same things, at all. period.)

– Circumstantial differences (But one example: Every church has “its stuff” unique to it. Particular concerns and problems.)

– Our lens/perspective, education, and experiences (I hope this is self-explanitory. If not, maybe this blog is too much for you. No worries. Just search this blog for “humor” and forget about this post entirely.)

Quick & Hot Tips for the Good Book

When reading, and attempting to understand a Bible passage,

– include paragraphs and sections, rather than a sentence, a phrase, or a lone sentence. (Nothing can twist scripture more than attempting to find meaning in a small phrase of scripture, instead of taking the complete thought and verbiage into account. You wouldn’t want to be taken out of context, so you know, do the right thing.)

– Read a few translations (Don’t parse words. Just don’t. It’s major mistake! Chances are the translators had to give it their best guess. Plenty of words in ancient Hebrew, and Greek, won’t and can’t translate out of the original language. Translators disagree. A lot. So, don’t assume you have read the perfect word choice. The word may not have been used or known outside of that one, or just a few, times.)

– Consult commentaries (These folks have dedicated their whole life to studying the Bible, the ancient culture, the history, etc. They’ve studied deeper, longer, and harder than you, and probably have some great insights from their research.)

Yes. This post was a “BOOM post”. It may come off sort of… um… strong. I see people all over the place butchering what the Bible says simply because they are naive. They haven’t bothered or known how to read the bible in a way that will get things at least mostly right. They start to sound goofy pretty fast. Next time you hear someone spouting off about a Bible passage, inquire if they’ve done the passage good justice by learning it intelligently in these few ways; then (as nicely as possible) challenge their mode of learning and teaching.

Bible study is a vital spiritual discipline, and like prayer, fasting, giving, and all the rest should be done through being better informed. Learning is a continual process. Keep up with it!

*Some of my information is straight from Stuart and Free’s fantastic book: How to Read the Bible for All its Worth. Many agree that it’s the book par excellence, for understanding and studying the Bible. Give it a whirl.

Did this post help you think of the Bible in a new way?
What has helped you understand what the Bible says?

It’s Memorial Day. We aren’t good at remembering, even when we set aside a day nationally to remember. We forget sacrifice. They say glory is forever, but actually it fades very quickly. You can give your life for a cause, and very few will remember or acknowledge it.

“Holiday” is the combination of the words “holy” and “day”. It refers to something set apart. Holidays are important for spiritual growth and maturity. It’s a time to be more mindful, but holidays are also supposed to somehow rejuvenate us and give us hope.

We are fundamentally designed to want and need a regular “sabbath period” during the course of 7 days. A resting point. A time out and away from the common things; normal life. Hardship.

But sometimes, in our times of remembrance, we forget to get our humanity back. We forget to remember the part about hope. Play is a vehicle for hope. Not the only vehicle, of course, but one adults, and even plenty of children don’t notice. Play keeps us humble before a great Creator and our fellow men. Play, somehow, frees us, in spirit, from the bondage of growing old, or rather starting to die. There is something about play the is just, simply, eternal.

True play is where you forget yourself, for a time, through joy or delight found by simple and good things. For it’s own sake. It is to embrace, with both arms, what it means to be you, a wonder and creation of God, unique in this world. And remember all the blessings of being here that come with that. Look around. Play.

When was the last time you “played like a kid”? I’m not talking about being immature. I’m talking about being happy in the moment and enjoying life with abandon, like children are wont to do. Have your “cease the day” moments.

My challenge for you today, or this week, is to find a space of time to do just this. Think of it as good for your soul. What will you do (or be) to have childlike wonder or enthusiasm wash over you?

I’ll start. Here’s what I did yesterday. I tried to just play with youthful exuberance, even if other adults wouldn’t join me, or I appeared the fool. I gave myself the permission God gives us, each holiday, to enjoy life fully. I will admit that after 30 minutes, I felt soggy, and had hardly childlike excitement about that bit. But, until then, it worked. I felt God-given refreshment, in the middle of what is the bitter-sweet life.

Foam machine fun.

Ed Cyzewski invited me to carrying on with his 5 minute Retreat series, “with my own spin”. So, for the next 5 days, I invite you to come here for a short and refreshing retreat in your day.

Let’s work through this and apprehend how God is with us. (Please feel free to comment anytime. Sharing your experience is valuable for all of us.) Blessings to you.

First, please be prepared to take a short rejuvenating break, and eliminate potential distractions. (Silence your phone, computer, shut your door, etc.)

Start off with five deep inhales and exhales.
– Be increasingly aware of yourself occupying a space, where you are. Feel the weight in your chest as you breathe, and let your air out slowly and calmly.

Cover your ears and breathe in and out five more times, listening to the sound of your breath.

Now-Be aware of God giving you life–the Breath of Life. His Spirit.

Spend a bit of time chewing on that theme.
–Allow yourself to make associations, dwell on an image or phrase about this topic which comes to mind, and how it relates to your life, today.

(If you get distracted, or your mind starts to wander, cover your ears again, and listen to your breathing.)

In this way-you try to “get out of your head” (a.k.a. to stop or dull, the chatter in your mind, and set your inner monologue aside.) Remember you are a spiritual being having a physical existence and tangible experience, right now in this moment. You live, you eat, you sleep, you think, and you breathe. Right now, you are here, breathing and living. Stay with that.

Briefly, talk to God (in some way) about your gift of life and Living breath. (Or, the associations, phrases, or images that have been on your mind.)

Now, realize you have God, with you, at hand (not far away), and you may keep this awareness to be revitalized and strengthened in your day.

One more deep breath, and stretch your arms, or whole body, a bit. Find relaxation in these few calm moments.

Here you are. You are yourself. Enjoy that.

And Enjoy your day.

(A Room Decoration and Demarcation)

It’s been said that the adult male human regularly needs some “down time” after a work day (a.k.a. Cave Time) to rejuvenate, find refreshment, recharge, gain clarity, and so on.

BUT-I doubt–a LOT–that “cave time” is truly a need reserved for the masculine of the species.

As many men will attest, females also enjoy and feel the need to retreat, and find refreshment. For some women it looks like taking a walk alone, reading a book while soaking in a bubble bath, or even not being alone–such as, sharing emotions with a trusted friend or ally.

Whatever this time looks like, it is a demarcated boundary of sanctuary, and vitally important to good mental health, and a balanced life–notwithstanding the spiritual benefits.

My husband doesn’t feel he needs a “den” or a man gym set up in the basement to get his man cave time in. He most enjoys a vigorous bike ride through the beautiful countryside on his road bike. I most like a variety of sanctuaries and refreshing conduits–both with others and without.

It’s not a weakness or a shame to realize you need space, and find your own space routinely (be it physical space, quite down time, mental respite, or beneficial time of social interaction). It is part of how we [all] live out our humanity fully, and how we are better able to best rejoin to loved ones, and others in our work or social lives in the most healthy way. If you don’t alreadly, encourage your loved ones to carve out demarcated time for this human need, as well as maintain your own. Seriously. Put in on the calendar or in your planner. It’s really that important. Be systematic so you stick with it, and keep your appointments with yourself. You will be surprised how much everyone will benefit.

Do you get the “cave time” you feel you need?

What does cave time look, or sound like for you?

Any body know Scripture that encourages ‘cave time’?

I look forward to your responses. Thanks.

(Creative Commons photo of Robert Williams/Navy)

As you read these, absorb them. Worship our Maker and Savior today.

(3 versions/translations)

Psalm 37:7

(The Message)

Quiet down before God,
be prayerful before him.
Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder,
who elbow their way to the top.

Psalm 37:7

(Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Be silent before the LORD and wait expectantly for Him;
do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way,
by the man who carries out evil plans.

Psalm 37:7

(Today’s New International Version)

Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Thoughts or comments?

(photo: Thomas Merton)

A friend’s comment spoke volumes to me, so I wanted to devote a post on the idea.

“The key to spiritual growth is otium sanctum, so hard to trust in our world that values efficiency and quick results.” -Doug Jackson (Excerpt of his comment on the previous post.)

On page 85 in his book, Spiritual Direction and Meditation, Thomas Merton explains otium sanctum:

Now the Fathers of the Church well understood the importance of a certain “holy leisure”  [or] “otium sanctum.” We cannot give ourselves to spiritual things if we are always swept off our feet by a multitude of external activities. Business is not the supreme virtue, and sanctity is not measured by the amount of work we accomplish. Perfection is found in the purity of our love for God, and there is plenty of  time for it to mature.

Otium Sanctum is part of the not doing– It’s the “hard work” of that. The notion is paradoxical certainly, but bluntly revelatory.

How do you “not do” in your life, or for God which brings you to greater maturity?

Do you think God does or does not function with otium sanctum?

If so, how?

Thanks for your participation on this one.

Yesterday, I felt a leading to not do the regular stuff of my day.

Usually, I “tend” my blog, I water my facebook connections, I weed my emails, I fertilize my social media outlets. Not yesterday. I heard a still small voice say. “Don’t do it today.”

This seemed silly…. and counter-productive, counter-intuitive, and just plain “not what I wanted.” I dug in my heels a bit. I balked. I sighed just a little–kind of like a whine. And then I resign to it for the day. But it was good.

I didn’t have expectations. I had nothing to “put out there” for people to see or like. I didn’t have to try. And for more than several hours, I felt a different sort of restfulness than I have regarding writing.

I’m thinking about taking a sabbatical, of sorts.

Maybe unplugging. Perhaps a retreat.

Word Origin & History(1)

1645, “of or suitable for the Sabbath,” from L. sabbaticus, from Gk. sabbatikos ”of the Sabbath” (see Sabbath). Meaning “a year’s absence granted to researchers” (originally one year in seven, to university professors) first recorded 1886 (the thing itself is attested from 1880, at Harvard), related to sabbatical year (1599) in Mosaic law, the seventh year, in which land was to remain untilled and debtors and slaves released.

Graduation is coming, and it would be a good fit.

What ideas do you have about sabbaticals, or how to best encounter them?

1. sabbatical. Dictionary.com. Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian.http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sabbatical (accessed: April 21, 2010).

Prayer Exercise

(a.k.a The 3 x in 7 days invitational)

First, a bit about Meditation-

Meditation: In prayer-

The half-way house between thinking and contemplating.

(Worship) Meditation is Recollection (a re-gathering):

No more and no less than the subjection of the attention to the control of the will. -Evelyn Underhill

Read her book “Practical Mysticism: A Little Book for Normal People” –free here:

Book Cover: "Practical Mysticism: A Little Book for Normal People," 1914

From Meditation one may move to a stage of Contemplation.

The two contemplative purifications at work:

The purification of sense, and the purification of will.

For millennia, fire has symbolized the Spirit of God.

If your prayer time has lost some of its richness, please enjoy this prayer exercise:

Meditation Prayer Exercise (7-20 min)

(Please note: It may take several, or many times of disciplined meditation, (as a spiritual practice), to move into a more contemplative prayer experience or mindset. I challenge you to have the courage to keep at it.)

1. Read through this exercise the whole way. (You will likely need to refer back to it during your meditation time, as well.)

2. Light a candle to represent the Spirit of  God.

2. Slowly Read and Reflect on a portion of Scripture, or the following poem:

All our knowledge, sense, and sight,
Lie in deepest darkness shrouded.
Til Thy Spirit brake our night,
With the beams of truth unclouded.

Beginning this time of prayer and worship:

First, surrender to the influence of the Object of your meditation, [in this case, through the vehicle/aid of the poem words, visual aid (candle), plus symbolism (flame = Spirit)]. Surrender to The Divine exhibition of unexpected meaning, beauty, and power. Pray on these things.

Focal Point:

Not if, but when, your thoughts wander, or your attention wanes, bring your internal, (and external) gaze back to the flame of the candle before you. The chatter of your mind will be ceaseless at first. Refocus. Recall what the flame symbolizes, and the goodness of God, (Trinity-Creator, Savior, Spirit). Center, again, your awareness on the Object of your worship (God), in thanksgiving and grace.

As you continue to meditate: See your self distinctly from the Other, and, in time, transition to observing your connectedness; Move from a “multiplicity to a unity”.

Once you have been vested in the experience of meditation for a time:

You may notice how your efforts of trying to focus and worship God, may adjust to a resting or receiving from God, in silence of the mind, and spirit. In this case, there is no effort on your part, but a loving dispensing, from God, into your heart and mind.

Enter and enjoy this time as though receiving an inpouring of God’s love, healing, and grace.

This contemplative stage of prayer cannot be forced, and for some, it is a difficult experience to come by. If you never approach this stage during your exercise, the discipline of prayer and meditation, done routinely, can aid in the apprehension of this mysterious reversal called contemplation. This is the stage where praying/thinking, moves to determined focus, which may transform into surrendered contemplation–which is a nourishing and awing spiritual communion with God.

Thank you for reading.

Please share your thoughts.

(If you tried this exercise, now or in the future, please mention that here, as well.)

Thank you.

I have a confession to make.

ambition while missing the point

In about 2 weeks, this blog site will be a year old. In the last 5-6 months, I’ve been trying pretty hard to write interesting, helpful, or entertaining stuff for this place, almost every single day. I’ve made fantastic contacts, great new friends, and I’ve had a good time doing it.

This is hard to admit, but, I have to confess, that I’ve been blogging mostly to build a larger reading audience. A little while ago my agent told me that I stood a good chance to have my material published, but the biggest obstacle was “lack of platform.” Lack of platform sort of means, not too many care who you are, or what you do. A successful blog can change that, and help a writer build this much-needed platform. I know there’s nothing shameful about writing a blog and hoping others read it, but my remorse at this moment is that I realize I have made it my means to an end. I’ve been holding so tight to this idea that I can generate a solid readership base to, as Pedro says, “make all my wildest dreams come true,” that I didn’t realize I was putting it before the whole point, which is to share myself and my God with others. In a real sense, I’ve thought of this blog as a vehicle to “get me somewhere,” and I’ve made it an idol. Sometimes I have said to myself, “Well, it’s really both, a vehicle and my ministry.” This may be true, and I hope things work out like this, but if my priorities or motivations shift weight, things get off balance. And they have been.

I stopped long enough for God to speak to my heart, and in my spirit, it seems “he” said, “Let it go.” I got a little panicky at first. “Completely? What? Huh? What ‘chu talkin’ ’bout Willis…er, Father in Heaven?”

Then it seemed like God nudged me, and “said,” “Don’t be such an extremist.” This threw in off a little. So, I sort of looked around sheepishly for a little, almost looking for an exit, but without trying to be obvious about it. It seems like God “said,” “You’re clutching. Stop it. Just write and stop thinking about the rest. It’s none of your business.”

This bothered me. I felt out of control. Of course, it was a false assumption that I really have control like I was thinking I had. But, then I thought about what that might feel like…to hand things over… and I tried to “put that skin on.” Even just putting it on halfway felt SO nice. Relaxing. Like the pressure was off, and leaving the room, like a smog lifting. So, I stopped that exercise midway, I took a deep breath and I yielded. I took my sweaty feet off the pedals and coasted. I waited. And nothing happened. Nothing, for better or for worse, but I felt much better.

I wanted to tell you about it, because I know I haven’t been thinking the right way. I know that has to change, and I’m turning my heart the other way. I may post less often, but maybe there will be more true joy and inspiration when I do.

I do hope many are blessed by this blog, and resources, but I’m not going to transpose the priorities anymore, if I can help it, (with God’s grace). This will happen on a heart level, and it might not even be apparent to you, but I hope that my honesty will not only encourage you to look carefully at your own priorities, and goals, but also be a way to ensure that I stay congruent to my core convictions and values, in the way and nature of my God.

It’s hard to make confessions because, sometimes, it makes you feel really weak, stupid, or like some kind of a scum bag. It’s risky. The temptation to keep on a mask, and act like things are all pulled together, can be a strong influencer. Even though it feels embarrassing, it’s still the only way to move forward, and toward shalom (well-being/peace). I’m trying to be brave.

Thoughts… comments?

Everlasting God,

In whom we live and move and have our being:

You have made us for yourself,

So that our hearts are restless until they rest in you.

–Augustine of Hippo (Algeria/354-430)