Eps 80: Exploring Pride, Confidence, and Success, Guest Dr. Jessica Tracy

Eps 80: Exploring Pride, Confidence, and Success, Guest Dr. Jessica Tracy

Welcome to Spark My Muse!

DETAILS:
• Each FRIDAY, guests join me in a conversation.
• Come back each Wednesday
(on “Hump Day” aka Midweek) for a brief Soul School “lesson”–something for your interior world and common life.


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Even though listening twice a week is free, making Spark My Muse costs money out of my own pocket to create, produce, and host online–and takes 25-30 hours of tears and toil per week too. Listeners, like you, give to support the show. LISTENERS make the BIG difference – Thank you for helping, too!

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jessicatracy

Today’s guest is Dr Jessica Tracy, the leading expert on the emotion of pride. Jess is a Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia and a Canadian Institute for Health Research New Investigator. Her work is currently supported by a Canadian Institute for Health Research (CIHR) Operating Grant. She is an Associate Editor at Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Interpersonal Relationships and Group Processes. 


 

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Show Notes:

MIN 2

There are 2 kinds of Pride.

Dr Tracy’s new book on the topic.

The distinction between emotions and how pride is expressed.

Universal expressions of pride in humans around the world.

4:40

Both kinds of pride lead to power–both different kinds.

A self evaluation is needed for the emotion of pride.

Amy Cuddy’s book Presence

(Power poses produce certain chemicals that help us succeed.)

MIN 7:00

Shame

A gobal negative sense of self.

Pride and shame body expression in congenitally blind athletes.

MIN 9

Dr Tracy became interested in studying more complexed emotions. Paul Ekman showed that 6 distinct emotions were recognized all over the world (1960s) and determined through facial expressions. Similarly pride was determined to be an emotion due to bodily expressions.

MIN 13:30

Do other primates have expressions of pride and what is it like?

MIN 17:00

Humans notice high status expressions in pride body language.

18:30

Dominance and Prestige both work to get power.

Dominance and success.

Types of tasks and types of leaders and types of pride.

23:30

Avoiding the wrong kind of pride.

Authentic pride is a huge motivator.

MIN 25:30

Looking for praise (which can lead to bragging) for the feelings of pride instead seeing the accomplishments for the sense of pride.

Social costs to hubristic pride ( which gets you power or status) but creates situations where others don’t like you.

26:30

A big misconception about pride is that it should be avoided.Twitter

Pride strengthens our identity.

Our society determines what we feel the emotion of pride about.

A caution:
Don’t get caught of in the great feelings of pride and get grandiose and forget why you did the good thing you did.

WEBSITE LINK: Emotion Lab and Dr Tracy’s work. ubc-emotionlab.ca


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Eps 77: Guest, Srini Rao – Being Unmistakable and Recovering From Failure

Eps 77: Guest, Srini Rao – Being Unmistakable and Recovering From Failure

Welcome to Spark My Muse!

• Each FRIDAY I invite guests to have a conversation with me!
• Come back each Wednesday
(on “Hump Day” aka Midweek) for a brief Soul School “lesson”.


HOW FUNDING WORKS:
Spark My Muse costs hundreds of dollars out-of-pocket each month to create, produce, and host online. Spark My Muse listeners are high-quality, happy to give, and superior to typical audiences–giving at a rate triple to the 2-3% of normal audiences.

Thank you for ANY amount,
 even $5 or $10, you can give, today.

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(The power of tweeting an audio clip is in your grasp! Click the Clammr icon below!)

Srini Rao
Trini Rao – CEO of Unmistakable Creative Media

Show Notes

1:00
Early influences on Srini
Indian heritage and culture, moving a lot

3:00
Meeting new people is exciting

Community and solitude both play a part.

4:30
Being resilient and recovering from failure

6:30
Unmistakeable
Why Only is Better than Best
“Unmistakable: Why Only Is Better Than Best”


If you are unmistakable, you don’t need a signature.Twitter
(You can tweet this great quote. Just click the blue bird There will be others too. Keep a lookout.)

9:00
Being imitative. Finding your unmistakable thing.

Steal Like an Artist

Plagiarism vs. Research

Having patience

Taking outside advice and mistakenly learning to become dependent on it.

12:00
Your bliss is different than your calling.Twitter

There is no business to be made from certain passions.

Businesses have to be market-driven, not passion-driven.

15:00
On being fired from all his jobs.

If you’re comfortable there is no reason to change–and you can be miserable and still comfortable.Twitter

Working 7 years before he got a book deal and some of it is pure luck.

We don’t want to sell the truth, we want to sell the dream.

20:30
The reality of who succeeded.
We sell independence but we breed dependence.

David Burkus. You’re paying for access once you realize the truth and there is some community.

22:30
How the Unmistakable Brand and look evolved.

25:00
No formula for picking guests.
Hero’s journey

28:00
What’s new from Srini?

29:00
What is Unmistakable about his new book?

The link to Srini’s blog on Medium

seth’s blog

31:00
Next: A creative habits focused-book, practical

unmistakablecreative.com
facebook.com/srinirao


Thanks for listening!
Check out more. Here’s a lineup of recent episodes:


Special “Ask Sparky” Episode: Responses to 5 Burning Question

Special “Ask Sparky” Episode: Responses to 5 Burning Question


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(Already read it or feeling a bit more generous? Please use the donate button  (see left column) to contribute to the show. Help me make awesome things for your ears to hear each week. Much Love & Thank you! ~L)


Here, just the Father's beard could wipe out planet Earth
(Hey, God doesn’t have a body.)

Shownotes for the Special “Ask Sparky” Episode: Responses to 5 Burning Questions

MIN
1:30

1. It’s hard to pray to God as Father when you’ve had a bad dad. What should I do?

• How do we think about God? (usually like a human person or institution)

• God is Spirit not an old white man in the sky with a long beard.

What adjectives will help you connect with the Being typically called “God”

4:00

Hebrew word for God is a description too (yahweh “I am” a verb) that was not used. Adonai  was substituted and that simply means “Master/Lord” and is a term of respect.

4:30

It’s misguided to think that God can be contained or described well using a “Proper Noun”. God can’t be called a proper name/noun…like “Billy” (and that would make Jesus “Billy Jr.”).

Hebrew names are descriptive when referring to people (not how we use names to address people today).

5:00

YAHWEH (Hebrew word), means I AM (or “is”) and works like a verb denoting Presence an Love in Action. It defies typical proper names and descriptions.

5:50

2. On Forgiveness

“What should I do to forgive when I can’t forget?”

6:10

Forgiving is a continual process.

Thinking of forgiveness as transactional–a debt clearing mechanism. Be an accountant and don’t worry about your emotions being on the same page.

7:20

Remembering that you are not your thoughts.

8:00

What Justice is actually (Shalom). Making things right and reconciliation.

8:50

3. What to do about envying others (in this case writers in the field) and being jealous of their success.

9:15

Seeing the negative emotions as tools. Reframing them to use them to find our calling, gifts, and passions.

9:30

Not getting caught up in “should” and “oughts” and comparisons.

9:45

When you can say of your work, “Wow, I get to do this!” you can have enough gratitude to be comfortable with the success of others.

10:15

It’s common and normal to get feelings of jealousy. It’s only when the take over our hearts and mind do we need to reevaluate and recalibrate what we are doing and thinking.

11:00

Deciding that the options of other people and the opinions should have huge power is a choice we can change.

12:05

4. Getting over feeling guilt and shame that keeps resurfacing.

Daring Greatly Brene Brown (the difference between guilt and shame.

• Guilt is important so we can learn and correct and grow and become better people.

• Shame is a belief that something, un fixable, is wrong with you.

Shame whispers lies in your ears. Shame becomes a decision of who we are as person.

14:05

Being put to shame by parents and others.

14:50

A mistake isn’t part of who you are.

Redemption is always possible. You can start anew.

15:10

My caveat.

15:50

5. Church isn’t working for me anymore and I feel guilty leaving the church, but I don’t feel fed.

In the U.S. we often go to church as a consumers and look for what we can get out of it. Church can be piss poor.

17:00

Look for ways to give and minister and find connection in other ways.

18:00

For me, small groups were a starting point that lead me to seminary.

18:50

Bringing back the potluck and sharing life with people.

19:30

Sometimes we sense church isn’t “working” when meaningful connection is lacking.

20:30

“we” is better than “me”.


Thank you for listening and sharing the show with others. If you’ve gotten an enjoyment from Spark My Muse, come back every Wednesday for something new, or save your mental energy and subscribe!

 

Episode 5 – The god of Wine and re-thinking the nature of creative process

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Shownotes

Episode 5 – The god of Wine and re-thinking the nature of creative process

dionysus

Today’s episode is about the Greek god of Wine and rethinking our ideas about the process of creation, and a better understanding the notion of “creative genius”:

 


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wine segment

What the Greeks thought about wine is reflected in the god of wine that they worshiped. (I don’t recommend worshiping the god of wine, or any god except the benevolent Creator.)

• Dionysus was the Greek god of wine and grape harvest

• The only god to have a mortal parent. Born from Zues’ thigh. That’s because his mother burnt to a crisp when Zues showed himself to her in his glory. Whoops.

Symposium means “drinking together”.

Additional note: These originally-small gatherings were for upper class men and with carefully imposed rules about consumption. They occured for leisure and thoughtful discussion.

• I will be offering a symposium-stlyle web-event where we will all have a glass of wine at the same time and discus a topic–possibly in July. Only patrons will get to come. This is your invitation. :)

If you want in, or you are curious about the rewards for being a sponsor of the show, go to Patreon.com/sparkmymuse

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• Most of the great Greek plays were initially written to be performed at the Spring feast of Dionysus. . . .when the buds of grape leaves start to open. It was a most sacred festival.

• Dionysus was a patron of the arts!

For Greeks, Dionysus was credited with creating wine and spreading the art of viticulture (the horticulture of grapes).

• He had a dual nature; on one hand, he brought joy and divine ecstasy; or he would bring madness, brutal and blinding rage–a good depiction of the dual nature of wine.

• He was brought back to life…like grape vines that undergo brutal pruning and look dead, but then burst back to life.

• Blood and red wine are often linked for the ancients.

(Blood gives the body life, wine has powerful bodily effects.)


And now to spark your muse!

——

• Nikolai Berdyeav

“All the products of a man’s genius may be temporal and corruptible, but the creative fire itself is eternal, and everything temporal ought to be consumed in it. It is the tragedy of creativeness that it was eternity and the eternal, but produces the temporal, and builds up the culture which is in time and a part of history. The creative act is an escape from the power of time and ascent to the divine…”

Today we’re thinking of the creative process as re-imagined and being “divinely co-operative”.

We (commonly) think of genius as applied to us in a personal way like a characteristic. A natural capacity, but the Greeks seem to have a much healthier view of what the process of creation is truly like…

• For the Greeks …divinity is always present.

• A genius = an unseen guardian, or custodial and protecting spirit…who gives a human inspiration: For the Greek, we each have one. (It’s not us; but it will help us.)

Three reasons why depersonalizing our part in the creative process is helpful:

1. Failure is not personal

2. Success shouldn’t cause arrogance

3. Patience and giving up control (not forcing it) will reinvorgate your creativity

What do you think?

Is the creative process a “divine cooperation”?

 


In the next episode we will cover “the proper rites of friendship”  and skinny on “wine spritzers”. 


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Episode 3 (Five best tools for opening wine and guest Natalie Hart)

Shownotes
Spark My Muse – Episode 3 (5 best tools for opening wine and guest Natalie Hart)

 

Spark my muse is The podcast for curious creatives types, wine newbies, and those willing to put up with my occasional silliness. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me.

This episode is brought to you by:
Life As Prayer:
Life As Prayer: Revived Spirituality Inspired by Ancient Piety

Today’s wine segment!

I open dozens of bottles of wine per week as a manager of a wine tasting room at Spring Gate Vineyard. We use a simple tool, I hadn’t seen before to make it quick and simple with very high levels of success.

BASICALLY only the cork should get screwed.  No broken corks, no puncture wounds–for you!

Cork screw is also called a wine key, or a waiter’s pry.

There are a few tools that are poor choices for opening bottles….

There are the best tools which may include some you may want to avoid.

These (affiliate) links will get them for you at a good price.

• Basic lever corkscrew – very inexpensive, small and portable, comes on an army knife. (There’s a better option below…keep reading.)

• Electronic one – large, slow, overly complex for my taste. It can be glitchy, run out of power…

• Winged or butterfly…It has arms that go up as you twist it down into the cork…Easily can cause broken corks when not done right. (Tip: hold the arm down tightly until you get it firmly pinned down to the cork and begin twisting straight down.) It’s slow, and has higher failures.

• The rabbit style. Large, more complicated than necessary. Table mounted options. If you have the room, like a full bar in your house…go for it.

• Air pressure bottle opener. It uses a needle CO 2 80 bottles…meh.

What’s the best tool?

The 2 lever waiter’s corkscrew!
It’s portable,fast, and low tech. The secret is the double hinge. It only takes about three rotations. (TIP: Go straight down and use the lever to pull the cork straight up. Don’t crank the cork to the side. First you use the top lever and then you switch to the bottom one.)

Here’s a video of the same tool I use at work and how to use it. Skip to minute 1:00.



Spark My Muse guest:
Writer – Natalie Hart

Natalie’s Webiste
• Her book: The Giant Slayer

We discussed:

• Biblical fiction genre

• Her favorite way to get unstack creatively

• Identity (David’s, and the rest of us.)


Thanks for listening / reading. Please subscribe, or leave comments. I’d love to hear if you like the show.

 

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