Lisa Colón DeLay

YEP. Good news about free stuff!

Right after we feast like mad and express our gratitude and thankfulness we charge out to buy and shop! I’ve always thought this was the strangest thing…But, the sales do seem unbeatable, right?

Confession: I can’t handle the bustle. I grow weary so fast from shopping, let alone doing it amid crowds and while fighting chock-a-block traffic. What about you?

Perhaps Cyber Monday is a different kind of bustle?…nevertheless….

I have some things for you. It won’t cost anything. And you don’t have to get “malled” or drive anywhere.

Click  ”Kindle Bookshelf”. (4 FREE books)

On Monday 11/26/2012 all four of my digital (Kindle) books are free for the taking. ONE Day only. (One of the four has not been offered for free until now, and it won’t happen again anytime soon.)

Here’s a secret! If you DON’T have a kindle or a kindle app, you can still click to buy, and Amazon houses them for you, for whenever you want them, on which ever device you choose. So, if you’re getting a kindle for Christmas, click to get them now, and enjoy them later.

I do hope you enjoy them.

If you would please leave an Amazon review, I would be most grateful! I have lots of people reading, but hardly anyone leaving reviews yet. So, I need your help!

Season’s Blessings!

-Lisa

P.S. Spread this good news with a Tweet or two, please?

(If you miss your chance, don’t fret. Each is only $3. Way less than a latte at Starbucks. Amazon lets you read sample pages. Try each one and see what you like!)

This is my son Nathan.
He’s 12.5 years old.

It’s been a rough few days with him. It’s a dicey combo mixing burgeoning adolescence and the Autistic experience.

His will is strong and he’s often unreasonable. He thinks he’s the rightful King of his world and ours; and I’ve felt discouraged about how poorly things have been going.

But…today, he built these glasses, and it got me to thinking about perspective.

And it gave me a new one.

What’s the bigger lesson here?

What if our windows of perspective are cloudy?

What if the shutters are closed?

How will an obstructed view hurt my ability to guide, lead, or learn?

Will I even be able to notice how poor my vision is?
And how can I get help seeing better?

It’s true that our perspective is limited.

The fact is easy to miss.
We flare with emotion in the dearth of comprehending how perspective works, or doesn’t work.

But, indeed, we can’t possibly see the full view, just the narrow vision our particular spectacles allow.

And with new lens our perspective changes.

Unwittingly, Nathan gave me the encouragement I needed.

This is actually an answer to my prayer for help.

Keep pushing on and Remember the lesson of the Lego Spectacles!

To you Leaders and Bloggers: Don’t forget to link-up with the SynchroBLOG on Leadership sponsored by Evangelical Seminary. Write something this week and contribute September 10-14. 

Hi there! If you are new here, please subscribe by email or RSS feed to get new posts (there’s a Connect bar here on the right with cute buttons for that). I post 3 or 4 times per week. That adds up to loads of goodness per fortnight. By the way, I’m so glad you stopped by.

(click for photo attribution)

Top Ten Signs that You Need Renewal 

1. Observable deficits in enacted Fruit of the Spirit. (i.e. less qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, and self-control)

2. You find yourself perceiving things others say as personally offensive, or as direct attacks.

3. You are “venting” more online. 

4. You feel unloved.

5. Posting on your blog or being active in social media, or online makes you feel significant. (Accordingly, not getting that sort of instant gratification creates feelings of emptiness or frustration.)

6. You’re writing about your stuff rather than really working through it.

7. Increased tension in your face-to-face relationships, while giving greater significance to internet-based relationships.

8. You struggle with at least one of the “seven deadly sins”: wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.

9. You feel spread thin like too little butter pulled across toast. Or you feel toasted, or similar to toast, in any respect.

10. You’re in a creative slump.

If some of these ring true, spiritual refocusing and guidance will create more creative (and general) energy and renewal in your life.

What is your tip off that you need renewal?

Thankfully, some help is near. Guidance is at hand, and it works for non bloggers too! Search the category “blogging” for some helpful articles. Visit again soon, too. More resources are coming.

For personal spiritual guidance (for the courageous), use the contact button to get started (lower right), or to find a retreat center click here.

Beyond this blogging series…is an alliance of committed bloggers to keep Christian blogging a ministry of integrity. Integrity is a word I love, because its literal meaning is wholeness. When we are emotionally and spiritually healthy, we are whole as message-bearers. As people. We lack for nothing.

So, if you enjoy reading or writing blogs, I hope you’ll join in with the interactive community at Facebook.

Click to go to FB page

Click for Attribution link.

If I were to caption this photo for the project at hand, it would say,
“Sweater cubicle? or are bloggers too isolated for their own spiritual good?”

As I promised on Timothy Dalrymple‘s blog a bit ago, I am covering the topic of spiritual guidance for bloggers (as a series). Thankfully, some talent bloggers are joining us, too.

In plenty of ways technology has outpaced our spiritual reflection. The needed inner gaze at the practice (spiritual or otherwise) of blogging itself has not been encountered effectively. Bloggers have specific spiritual needs and encounter spiritual pitfalls that are under-addressed…even on blogs themselves, where you’d expect them to be handled. Well, no more.

In the next few weeks, I’ll lay this topic out and do just that, with the help of some talented bloggers as featured guest contributors.

For me, it’s an EPIC mashup of blogging experience (since 2006), and three scores of credit hours with my seminary education (M.A. in Religion, Spiritual Formation concentration) cross-fertilizing at the perfect juncture to rock this thing out. Boom. Pow!

For example:
Pitfall #1. Bloggers can be grandiose when introducing a new series.

If you are a blogger, this is especially for you. You and I both need this.

If you know someone who blogs, please send them over. Encourage him or her to read and participate in this series. If they seem reluctant, or just too busy, just say, “See, that’s exactly the whole point!”

A peek at some of the upcoming themes:

• Seductions Specific to Christian Bloggers and What to do About it
• Overcoming the Spiritual Pitfalls of Blogging
• A Writer’s Mistress is a Blog (humor)
• The Best Spiritual Disciplines for Bloggers
• Blogging and Community: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Plus, Articles from fantastic Guest Writers:

- Thom Turner

- Joy Bennet

- Ed Cyzewski

- Anita Mathias

- Jennifer Luitwieler

- Sarah Bessey

- Warwick Fuller

- Ray Hollenbach

…and others.

creative commons photo. click for attribution.

• (#1) Sorry to be blunt, but it’s just not your job. It never was.
• (#2) You’re pretty crappy at fixing yourself.
  If you were good at fixing yourself, you would’t want to fix other people.
  In them (the “un-fixed”) you see yourself.
• (#3) You don’t have that kind of power. It’s inappropriate to think you do.
• (#4) People resent the condescension, so even if you try to be kind in the fixing it’s counterproductive.
• (#5) People are supposed to have some unfixable spots.
  I write about “broken jars” here.

What are the alternatives?

• Walk with people
• Be a good influence
• listen more
• love more
• learn more

I just found this (2007) video and really appreciated its meditative quality using Scripture. I hope watching it renews you spiritually.

This week, prepare your heart with Hope, as we await the celebration of the arrival of our Redeemer.

Wishing you Advent blessings.

If you think someone else would benefit from viewing this, please “Tweet This”, or pass it along.

The season before Christmas is a special one, and not because of great shopping deals. It’s not because we make gifts, or sing carols, or decorate, or bake special things, visit with family or light candles at the Christmas Eve service. It’s not even about giving more to others. Well, that’s just the tip of the Christmas iceberg.

Advent is about anticipation and hope. As Christians, we celebrate the things God has done and is doing in various seasons of the year. Creating a special time of year for focus on particular spiritual truths allows those truths to gain more weight and more meaning in our everyday lives. Advent lasts four weeks, and it’s a holiday season full of introspection, reflection, hope, and divine mysteries.

Rituals and traditions often cement social and relational bonds, ready our hearts for worship, and create the vital space and time for better adoring our Creator. Not only does memory solidify our perceptions of reality now, but it prepares us for future love, service, and devotion, to God and others.

In these four weeks of Advent I’ll feature meditations, reflections, art, and more (from me and others) interspersed among typical posts to focus our spirits on the good things of God, and the time we celebrate the most amazing gift of grace from our Living God, Jesus, the Incarnation. Our Redeemer, Savior, and King.

To participate in a richer way, view the Artists Advent Project page.

Blessings this season.

The 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy a week from this Sunday. We will once again see images and recount the horrors of that day, and try in memorial to accept the reality of this world. Most of us don’t encounter death and our own mortality too often. Most of us don’t constantly see suffering, and witness grief and loss.

Please take some time today, or this weekend to remember that the events of 9/11 still bring pain to many. Loved ones are missed, and we can’t gloss over the national tragedy that left a collective hole in our hearts, even ten years later.

This seems a fitting time to discuss an author who is very acquainted with death. It’s his job to be, and his perspective can be very helpful to us. As promised a couple of weeks earlier, the following is my personal interview with blogger and upcoming author Caleb Wilde, a 6th generation Funeral Director, seminary student, husband, and expectant adoptive dad.

My Questions for Caleb:

1. Being a 6th generation funeral director, you have quite a unique vantage point on life, loss, and mortality. How do you think you live life differently than other Christians because of where God has placed you?

Caleb: In traditional religious calendars, the day in-between “Good Friday” and “Easter” is called “Holy Saturday”.  “Holy Saturday” is the day the disciples’ hopes and beliefs were engulfed in death and silence, as they viewed their Messiah’s death without the knowledge of the resurrection.

In some sense, I live the life of Holy Saturday.

As funeral directors, we’re paid by families to be a human shield to death, whereby we make death somewhat easier, less real and more proper.  As this human shield, I’m affected.  I’m affected by the brokenness, by the grief, by the hopelessness I see in faces, by the newly fatherless/motherless children, the tragic deaths and the accidents.

All this has made my personal faith more sensitive to questions of God’s goodness and justice.  It’s not easy for me to understand ideas of “eternal hell”, or ideas of “meticulous divine providence” or even “absolute foreknowledge” or “omnipotence”.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m still a Christian.

2. What do people misunderstand most about your work?

Caleb: We’re a lot like pastors.  Our jobs are really quite similar, except that one is recognized as “ministry” while the other is “business.”  That’s probably the largest misconception … there’s no way funeral directors can meet with grieving families through the most difficult time of their lives and come out on the other side as “business people.”

Everything else is true, though … we are dark and we are odd people.

In ancient times, death practitioners were ostracized from normal society by rule.  Today, we’re partly ostracized from the norm of society by practice.

3. The constant stream of customers (people dying, and their families burying them) can make one grow numb or cold toward the concept and process of death and burial. Do things still surprise you or impact you? What kind of things?

Caleb: There’s something so unnatural about death that (save the very old) it’s difficult to become numb.

4. You’ve probably thought about what you’d want your own funeral to look and sound like. Can you tell us about that?

Caleb: About two years ago, I started taking one minute video clips of myself, so that by the time I’m 70, I should have a montage of age progression videos that can be used for my funeral.

I’ve also talked about recording a message from myself to my family and friends that could be shown at my funeral as the eulogy.  But, by the time I’m ready to die, I figure they’ll have holographic projections, so I’ll wait for that tech until I record my final goodbye.

5. The saddest funeral I ever went to was for a 13 year old boy who took his own life. What have you learned about people during the time of more tragic circumstances that you’ve been a part of?

Caleb: Funerals/death are a perfect storm: you have death, the inheritance money, high emotions and family you might not like too much who are around you all the time.

Funerals intensify people’s real character.  You see the best in people and you see the worst.  The bad people will do horrendous things at funerals, like start fights, curse out their family members over money.  And you can see Jesus in the good ones.

6. Do you find your work mostly depressing, hopeful, profound, mundane, etc.? Would you recommend this vantage point to others?

Caleb: It’s a tough ministry that has little boundaries.  Many funeral homes are also generational, so many of us work with our dads, grandfathers, uncles and cousins, which can make this at-need work that much more difficult to set up healthy boundaries.

Similar to any ministry, I think there should be a passion for death work … a calling of sorts, whereby you know this is what you’re supposed to do.  And being a “calling”, few have witnessed this vantage point.

It’s unique.

7. Do you want to stay in the family business? Why or why not?

Caleb: Next question : )

8. Tell us a bit about how you view suffering, pain, and death from your unique perspective…which probably has a lot to do with the message in your book.

Caleb: I’ve built my understanding of God around suffering, pain and death.  It’s a local theology.  And my understanding of God, suffering, pain and death in light of my faith is the content of my upcoming book, “Confessions of a Funeral Director.”  Hopefully, it will be out in less than a year.  You can get an idea of how death has affected my view of God at my blog, www.calebwilde.com.  My book, though, will contain much more narrative than my blog.

9. What’s your best idea for a Smart Phone app.?

Caleb: I live near Lancaster County (PA), home of the Amish and Mennonites, so there’s a lot of intermarrying in these parts.  Not to mention, most of the towns in the rural areas of Pennsylvania have families that have lived there for centuries, so many of them are related.

I have an idea to partner with Ancestry.com and create an app the lets you bump smart phones with another person and it will tell you how you’re related to them.  My theory is that this will greatly help the evolution of humans by creating a purer gene pool.   The apps name is “Bump it before you Hump it”.

lemonade stand

Today, my kids made almost $20. Lemonade and Cookies for sale, only ¢25 each.

Okay, I chipped in for the ingredients, and helped them set up, absolutely free, but you get the idea.

The day started off rainy. Not a good day for a lemonade stand. The odds were against them. But, ya know, when a little kid offers you fresh lemonade for a quarter, how do you refuse? I was surprised that some did, but was gladdened that those folks were greatly out-numbered by other types.

First, a friend allowed the kids to set up shop at her business, in a high traffic area. In business, don’t they say something like, “Location. Location. Location.”?

Maybe that’s with real estate.

After that move, even the sprinkles didn’t slow down the customers. Probably more than 80% who walked by, melted visably when they saw the kids with their stand.

The kids really didn’t make (almost) $20. People were generous. They gave a $1, got their cookie and beverage, and said, “Keep the change.” Some gave money to them just because they were there. I parked nearby, but I let the kids do their own business. Attract customers, offer their products, and count the change. I saw how people put in extra effort to support them. It warmed my heart.

There is something very special about being enterprising. There is needed dignity that comes for people when they can make one’s own money, or find their own way, somehow. And yes, generosity makes a big difference too.

Have you been generous enough, lately?

I have this feeling, the same thing is true with spiritual growth, as well. When it comes to spiritual things, do we try to save people the experience of struggle? Growth can take work, and be painful, do we rescue the novices, or give them easy answers? (Pat answers do really help, and they can arrest deeper thinking.) Or do we allow space for mystery, doubt, or the unknown to shape them too.

Can we let pauses in conversation or questions happen, or do we try to fill it up with our “wisdom”? It reminds me of the weird nervous laughter habit people get into sometimes, when they don’t know what to do. They laugh in some odd way, that gets distracting, in its own right.

Do we cuddle or spoon feed, when trying and making a mess will be more helpful; not in the short run, but in the long run.

What are your thoughts?

"ugh...typical guy! Idiot."

misandry |misˈandrē|
noun
the hatred of men by women
ORIGIN 1940s: from Greek miso- ‘hating’ + anēr, andr- ‘man,’ on the pattern of misogyny.

As promised, I’m covering the female side of misogyny, which is misandry. I call this type of article a “BOOM post”. You have been warned.

I would be remiss to not admit that sectors of feminism are strongholds of misandry. Feminism, though, as many women think of it, is far more general. It has to do with equitable treatment toward women, in business, home life, society in general, and it hinges on the ability, explicitly or implicitly, to have choice (of many kinds) as a basic unalienable right. A wiser person, female or male, will understand, however, that freedom of choice must be balanced with one’s community, not rooted or executed from a selfish starting point.

It seems to me that troubles for either gender will stem from control issues. For men, it may be that they feel somehow impotent in their life, interactions, career path, health, etc. Perhaps the feeling or appearance of weakness is the pivot point.

For women, it may be that they want to be regarded well, and cherished (and I don’t mean in simply an emotional, or fuzzy way. This is more of a cherished at an essential level of being for (female) human flourishing). They want to not feel objectified (which, is disregard), or to relegated to a small box, i.e. a narrow role, a low ceiling limiting personal or career pursuits, an intellectual prejudice.

I find it interesting that body image plays a powerful role for both men and women. Ill-health, lack of fitness, the effects of aging, being fashionable, and certainly other issues influence personal issues of self-worth, emotionally and bodily. They also influence how each gender reacts to the other. Those things hated, or feared in one’s self will be trigger points and irritations all too glaringly visible in the other gender. Spite develops.

I will cover some ways misandry happens among women. Please note I use the word among purposefully, because there seems to be an execution of misandry in a social capacity more than in any other way. For men, they may both take their misogyny on as a personal war, and they may find strength in numbers, but women may tend towards a “team strategy”.

For women, physical aggression with misandry is not normative. Rather, it is mental, social, and tactical. Bullying of other female by female happens this way as well. The tendency may to manipulate, rather than misogynistic tendency to (in some respect) conquer or master (perhaps with resources, people, money, intellectual pursuits, empire, and including areas of competencies and skills). (I’m speaking quite generally, please bear with me.) Women seem more socially powerful, while men seem more dominant. Perhaps a good analogy is to say influential in contrast to jurisdictional.

For some general information, I will note 6 areas ripe for, or given to misandry. (Please note that these same areas are ones of great good, effectuality, and ministry if they are not perverted by selfishness and sin. Yes, the same goes for males.) Steps should be taken to purify and strength these venues through the Holy Spirit, and his Fruit, not disable or disband them.)

1. Gossip as bonding.
2. “Tribal Culture” (if you will) of malcontent.
3. A “sick clique” (more on this is a later post) It has to do with venting, fault finding, griping. For men, the counterpart might be verbal attacks or passive aggression. But, this also can and does happen with females.
4. Platforming (A leader or leaders pumping up/motivating a like-minded group)
5. Subversion of Systems (rather than negotiation)
6. Rebellion (overt or covert/and sometimes unintentionally) to authority, powerful groups, institutions, concepts, norms in question.

Often man-hating patterns are established in the context of a social group norm. There may be a retaliation tenor, as well. A pecking order type of culture may subtly and socially pressure its affiliates to employ a particular attitude. Acceptance in the group will be linked to the propagation and use of this structure, and its attitudes. Bear in mind, unlike many times with males, this all happens as sub-context, and is almost always implied, not vocalized.

(There are others areas. I welcome your additions, or specific ideas or comments on them.)

To expose the flaws and missteps among women is to set myself up as an enemy of women, and undermine some of the great and vital gains women have made societally to achieve appropriate equality. Quite a few people, whether they will admit it, or not, believe a certain amount of misandry seems justifiable because of humanity’s long history of abuse and antipathy toward the female gender. In recent, postmodern times, the female voice (or story), as well as many other historically-marginalized groups, has been given new validity and attention.

It is not my intent, of course to sabotage any positive and rightful gains for females. I do believe these rectifications have been sorely overdue, and really have not yet been accomplished. And what a sad commentary on the Christian assimilation of the ministry of Christ, and the human expression of the redemptive nature of the gospel.

To women, I say, we can be secure and mature enough to take on and strength whatever weaknesses we may have that are causing injury of harm to the body of Christ. We can work toward a better way, healing, and unity. As for you males, please read this all compassionately, and let it help you understand women’s weaknesses and strengths better. There is responsibility that comes with know more, so I trust you to use this new knowledge for good not evil.

I mention all of this, not to divide any of us from each other, or to give us weapons to beat each other with, but rather to call out areas of potential growth. Then, we can call them into question ourselves (men and women), confess before God, humble ourselves to each other in love and service, and work toward unity, reconciliation, and enacting God’s glorious Kingdom Come. God transcends gender, and our petty hang ups and weaknesses. It is in God’s strength and grace that we may be fashioned as new creatures that reflect God’s good character and nature.

I would have loved to make this whole article somehow more jocose (or humorous at all), because that’s usually how I roll, but I couldn’t switch gears, adapt and integrate that writing style on this one. Don’t expect such seriousness in any following installments on this, or any topic. (There’s only so much of this trajectory I can take, before I have to insert more cheer.) :)

So-weigh in. I’m listening.

Video’s BACK STORY:

To get an idea of who Nathan is, and how he thinks (a VERY rough estimation) I’ll be posting some video of interviews with him on his thoughts about God, spiritual things, love, truth, Scripture, Christianity, and things that pertain to this delving into his spiritual formation and understanding.

Nathan caught the fish shown in the jar at the lake today. As is sometimes the case, he didn’t want to talk much in general, but through a short series of videos, starting with this one, I hope to flesh out some of his ideas about God, Christianity, the Bible, and what he is like as a person, as his moves to greater maturity.

For a few months he’s had adverse reactions and responses to attending church, to hearing prayer (at home and elsewhere), speaking about God, and the like. What is really going on inside him? I don’t know. Perhaps it is merely pre-adolencent surge of self-expression and independence. Or perhaps, like me and many others, he has to come to terms with God in his own time, and in his own way. As recently as 6 months ago, Nathan claimed to love and believe in the God of the Bible. Now he says that he know longer believes what he did before. Perhaps as I investigate more will come to light.

1st Video (30 sec)

Like all of us, Nathan is a work in progress. My hope is not to compell Nathan to swiftly see things “my way” (your basic Nicene Creed stuff), but rather to engage this perplexing time as a vital part of his growth as a person and a spiritual being made in the image of God…even if that means he goes into some very messy places on the way. Most of us don’t realize just how messy we are.

A few years ago Nathan told me that God’s love was in [him]. I still believe it is. In reality I can’t force him to believe anything. Plus he notices all too well when that is the intension, so it’s incredibility counterproductive to simply debate or convince him.

Part of being a parent is to guide (not command) and be willing to go into challenging territory. This is just that.

I have full confidence in the grace of God (not an angry white, bearded man in the sky, but the Supreme Being of Mercy) to save my son, and meet him where he is, now and for all times.

Nathan has mental challenges, and it is a profound lesson in grace for me to know that my understanding, or lack of understanding about God and reality is not what saves me (or anybody else) from separation from God. I don’t know where this journey will go, or how long I will chronicle it, or discuss it here, but I ask that you join me.

The greater journey here for all of us may involve our own theological concepts that include beliefs, theories, or knowledge of how we come to know God, grace, and move along in spiritual growth/formation. It also raises bigger and more formidable questions like:

• How do the mentally challenged fit (or how well do they fit) into our typical Christian model in the family of God/body of Christ, or a compassionate and healthy society?

• How much do we think our knowledge saves us?

• How do we minister and aid people (of many varieties) in their spiritual understanding and personal growth. And plenty more…

All big questions and I welcome your comments or reflections throughout this process.

SO–What questions would you ask Nathan?

For your own reflection or comment here: What is it about mental disability that may change your ideas of grace/salvation, or put your beliefs, doctrine, or knowledge to the test, if any?

What else is important to explore in this process? (I’m taking input during this process.)

Thanks for your help!
-Lisa

I’m warning you, right from the start. I’m going to use a word I haven’t used before when blogging, and maybe only 12 times otherwise. It’s one of those words that could make me lose all my readers, maybe even you. But, I’m going to do it, because I have to tell the truth.

I have “checkmark envy”. When I see the Verified Twitter Account, the checkmark reversed out of cyan, I want one, too. Badly. It’s been going on for about three months. It has everything to do with feelings of self-worth. Important people have Verified Accounts. People that matter. Wanting it has everything to do with sensing my value, and worst of all vanity.

So, I realized something, Vanity is spiritual masturbation.

Now that I said “the M word”, I want to unpack what I just said, so we don’t miss the forrest for the trees.

Some people think masturbation can make you blind. Do people still think this? This obviously reflects poorly on blind people. It’s made me question Stevie Wonder, for instance. Well, not really. (After I wrote this, I found out it’s Stevie’s birthday today…what a “God thing”, huh? I mean, sorry Stevie for that extra weird bit of undue attention on your special day.)

Some people think it’s perverted. Some think it’s necessary. Some think it’s just plain fun. Some say, when in doubt, do it. Like Nike, right? Never mind.

Here’s what it really is. It’s a reduction and diminution of a real and powerful thing. The goodness of sexual intimacy is given a shabby surrogate. It’s not more or better, it’s less. It’s a shortcut that cheats you–producing fulfillment temporarily, but soon leaving you feeling more isolated or lonely; even trapped, or increasingly compulsive.

Vanity is the same way, but more thoroughly. It holds hands and makes out with shame. It’s focused on sensing worthiness in a weird, circular, and disappointing quest.

I learned a lot about these sort of pitfalls of shame (a.k.a. “hame”. Yeah, refer to Brown video) yesterday, from Dr Brené Brown in this amazing (20 min) video about so-called “shame studies”. Watching it could change your life.

It’s given me the courage to admit this kind of spiritual masturbation addiction I avoid revealing.

I want to be somebody. God’s answer (healing) for this is to be thoroughly aware of being known and loved ever still in him. It’ll take my whole life to fully get there. This is but one of my forward steps.

Do you feel the need to be “verified”?

Several times I have covered Lady Gaga on this blog. She is a complicated person, and now she’s openly speaking of spiritual things. So, this is my tuff (area of expertise and education), and I want to weigh in. You can too.

It’s the habit of most who comment about Gaga to past judgement on her, but that is not the point of this post, or my other posts. While I welcome your comments, I ask that you attempt to be thoughtful and intelligent in your responses. You don’t have to like her to comment, but if you want to bash her,  find a different blog to barf on.

It seems she’s the archetype of a person who is (seemingly) easy to pigeon hole. But this mega star, and so many like her (who are not in the limelight) are just people who are trying to find their way in the world. You may think differently, but maybe you should watch the footage below, first.

I provide this engagement on the topic of the person who is  the singer and performer Stefani Germanotta because so many are watching her and following her.

When she asks people to do things, millions respond. This strikes me as important to note for Christians, as we interact with those God loves, and enact the messge of the gospel of God’s grace poured out on us, in Jesus Christ.

Also, I think it helps (as Christians) to engage the struggles of many people, all while questioning our motives and the hidden influencers of our interactions with people that sound, look, dress, and act differently than we prefer. I’d say it takes to task our enactments of grace and love toward God, ourselves, and others. I hope it will challenge this in you.

Besides, it’s really a gawker vortex, seriously, no?

So, here is the topic de jour. Let’s talk about this. I found this recent video footage quite curious:

The scoop:
Unlike many stars, Lady Gaga prays before concerts (to God, not herself as some might first assume or expect).

This prayer footage (from her upcoming HBO special) begins at the 2:40 marker. (The first part of the video is somewhat of a breakdown in her confidence. Quite a bit of crying, part pep talk, some non sequitur stuff, and some emotional hysteria. But, to me, it also seems to be, at least in part, some genuine footage of the acute struggle this 25 year old has performing and living life larger than life in front of millions of fans and foes.)

Will her public prayers to God encourage others to rely on him too? Perhaps. What do you think?

And, yes, in case you’re wondering…I could speak to what seems like a bit of flawed theology, but I’m waiting for her to phone me, so we can talk it over.

Actually, I think many would be good to follow her lead in seeking God’s help, as she does here.

Yes, I question her use of the word “worship” when  speaking about her fans. It strikes me as overdone, misguided, and/or unhealthy, unless she is actually referencing serving and loving them selflessly. And, yes, it could all be just a stunt, as pop stars are given to do. I’m not naive.

Nevertheless it provokes a deeper look at the spiritual.

Let’s face it, how many super stars pray, and ask for God’s help before a show, let alone allow the world to see them do it? Don’t say “Amy Grant”. That doesn’t count.

Remember this also, her core fans aren’t Christians, or praying types, in particular. What does it behove her to be so “old fashioned”? Isn’t it much cooler to be “over Christianity” and be Buddhist or wear a red string Kabbalah bracelet?

Sign up to continue the conversation/see future posts.

NOTE: If you watch the first part, or the very end after, marker 3:46, be aware that there is some cussing. You have been warned.

3:46
Lady Gaga Presents: Gaga Revealed by HBO

tuna

I’m not trying to carp, but they say things come in threes:

1. Introduced to “Fish Pedicures”.

2. Our kitchen sink smells like tuna (still).

3. Osama bin Laden is buried at sea.

Now, I’d sooner get a defective Nembutal enema then be correct here, butt (sic.) it seems that things have been pretty fishy. (Read: peculiar and fish-centric) Okay, I sort of made the second one up. I probably should have mentioned dead schools of fish or something.

Today, I feel a well….a “disturbance in the force”. Something just isn’t right…ya know? Maybe in the universe. Maybe in the thinking I read reverberating through social media. It’s not just the caffeine talking. I have some very conflicting thoughts and emotions at this point. Something is the matter.

With this talk of the most wanted wealthy, terrorist mastermind being “brought to justice”, I am reminded that human justice (so-called) is focused on retribution and punishment. Those are its first aims. But, must’n we realize there is no justice qua justice at the hands of human beings?

Can this man’s death heal the wounds of those who lost loved ones on 9/11? Never. There has been no score settled. Nothing can repay or compensate for that type of destruction and loss.

Here is where ultimate triumph can only come through the practice of forgiveness. It is the hard stuff, the stuff that happens supernaturally–not through our strength.

Grace trumps our flawed and immature (human) slant on Justice.

Will we ever get justice right?

God cancels our debt. My debt. Yours. Bin Laden’s. God’s work at the cross and ongoing through his people is the working out of this cancelation which does not overlook the evil, but negates it. It pulls its teeth out. It becomes victorious in the most scandalous way (compared to our standards). This way is very unpopular, I might add. Check out the movies. We like revenge and payback. Our movie stars exact it out for us, so we can feel comforted.

So, absorb the important part. The weight and burden of the disparate of goodness and evilness funnels down and is defeated and overcome by sacrifice, and by grace. Christ Jesus’ death on the cross. This is God’s active dealing with evil and human nature gone wrong. In all cases.

I didn’t think I’d feel this way, but all the bin Laden news and stuff has just left me with the creeps. We need help.

What must we change about our view of justice with regards to God’s holiness and mercy? How can we understand and enact justice better, and our active role in meting it out?

Tell me: What are your feelings about the ways of justice, or the recent events concerning Osama bin Laden? Was “justice served”?

And In what ways can grow from this? (And, Yes, I’m fishing for your thoughts.)

Ta DAA!

I really enjoy some blogs out there. I’ll limit my recently read, recommendation  list to 10, but I assure you, many more could make the list. In no particular order:

1. Stuff Christians Like.

2. Jesus Needs New PR

3. Wineskin in the Smoke

4. John Lee Saddington

5. Brett McCracken

6. Captain’s Blog

7. Ed Cyzewski

8. Thom Turner

9. http://www.passengerblog.net

10. Christopher Cocca

Who did I miss?

Gosh…I just realized I haven’t included any women bloggers. That’s seems so odd to me. It’s true that over 75% of my readership is male. I’m kind of like “one of the guys”… but I have a working uterus.

If you are a blogger, promote your blog today. About 1,500 people read this per week. So, it’s some good exposure. Explain what you write about a bit, and include a link.

What are your favorite blogs to read? Tell us.

Thanks for sharing!

(2 slides from tomorrow’s class)
Asking for your input on the topic.

When must Culture (we) Adjust?

When culture does not mirror:

• God’s nature

• His actions of grace

Scripture provides the signposts
on our journey within culture.

Two-fold Challenge:

• Self-reflection /criticism
• Notice hidden “influencers”
• Have a Contextually aware gospel proclamation

What are your ideas for redeeming culture without ruining the flavor?

Tomorrow’s post: “Why did Jesus Ride a Baby Donkey?”

I asked my friend, Ed Cyzewski, to guest post this week. I knew the topic on church and culture, in his  book Coffeehouse Theology: Reflecting on God in Everyday Life would make an excellent companion post for the class I’m currently teaching. I urge you to get a copy, by clicking the title above; or read a chapter here. This Sunday, we’ll cover how the influences of culture effect how we enact the Gospel message and walk with God. How do we best navigate this ground?

Let’s hear from Ed.

When We’re Blindsided by the Bible
-Ed Cyzewski

Saying that the church exists in a culture is the kind of obvious statement on par with saying we breath oxygen. But actually knowing what to do about the influence of culture on the Bible and how we interpret it isn’t always as obvious as taking a deep breath.

Growing up in a wonderful Baptist church in the Philly suburbs, one of the most important sermons I ever heard explained the importance of being poor in spirit based on the Gospel of Matthew’s account of the Sermon on the Mount. The Holy Spirit spoke to me about pride festering in my life. I often return to that sermon for guidance.

However, years later I read some books by theologians from South America who had experienced severe poverty and injustice. One particular theologian wrote about the Sermon on the Mount from Luke’s Gospel which says that the poor are blessed. In other words, the poor are blessed just because they are poor.

This was quite jarring for me to read. How had I missed something that jumped off the pages for Christians in Latin America?

I soon realized that I was encountering a cultural perspective on the Bible that was illuminating an angle that I’d neglected. In fact, I was poorly positioned to spot it.

While enjoying the affluence of America, pride can become a significant problem. It’s no mistake that a sermon on being poor in spirit connected. However, I was not prepared to read about God’s concern for the poor.

The more I interacted with theologians from South America, the more I noticed that one of God’s most important concerns throughout the Old Testament is justice and equity for the poor.

Here’s the thing: my reading of Matthew was not wrong. However, it was limited. By interacting from another perspective, I could see more in the Bible than I could have ever found on my own. This is because we read the Bible in a cultural context that can be both friend and foe.

We learn about God and follow Jesus in a cultural context. Certain ideas and metaphors will make more sense to us than others. We approach God from a particular perspective that is shaped by our time in history, our nation’s values, our experiences, our language, and the thousand other things that go into American culture in the 21^st century.

Some folks write about our cultural context as something that is dangerous. As if we need to fight it. If our society says that truth is hard to find, we need to fight that by saying that it’s easy to find. Why, it’s right in the Bible of course!

Others say that our culture is right. We should listen to it. Truth is hard to find, and we’d better not get too attached to anything we read, and nurture our doubts about God and the Bible.

Here’s the thing, a cultural setting shaped the writers of the Bible. They used the cultural tools of their times when they added clarity, such as calling Jesus “The Word” or “logos” in Greek. However, when it came time to confront the Greek pantheon, they declared that there is one God who made heaven and earth, and God proved it by raising Jesus from the dead—resurrection being culturally off the map for Greeks.

The tension of Christianity is one of being in a culture with values, conventions, and experiences that may either make us either more receptive, or combative to the ideas in the Bible. Saying that culture is all good or all bad overlooks important elements in both directions.

We need to remain culturally aware so that we know there is more to God than we could ever find on our own. Our perspective has its limits. We can learn a good deal more about God by interacting with Christians from other denominations, Christians in other nations, and within our traditions. By learning to interact with culture, we won’t be blind to its influence and submit to its every whim.

To read more from Ed, click here.

Tarns Hows, Lake Cumbria, UK

Reflection

When I used the picture you see here in the header section of this blog, it seemed like such a shame to crop it down to fit the format. The expanse of the photograph and the beauty of the scene is diminished when most of it is hacked out. Obviously.

I felt I had to give this scene of Cumbria Lake full exposure. So, here you are.

And…

This limited view concept makes sense on a larger scale too. Our default view is only a partial view. How easy it is to forget that.

We don’t know much about what lies off our perspective. We only know (or think we know), what we can visualize and grasp. Even just that bit may be mysterious or confusing.

An ugly scene or situation is only seen, in part. Our past is hindsight, at best, and our future is unknown. Unseen. What we have before us is a mere strip of the whole picture. The Big Picture.

I believe the justice and goodness of God will one day bring all things into better view. If we judge Reality by only what we’ve experienced, and seen first hand, we settle for just a small strip, and not the panorama. the panorama awaits. Hang on. It gets better.

Have you realized the smallness of your vantage point?
What things, in your circumstances or life, are likely much bigger than can be seen right now?

Um. Yep.

I got this fortune cookie fortune today. This variety of weirdness feels like it was written in Hoboken, not Peking…but I think I like it.

As it relates to my future? Hum…now that’s a good question. It could be in keeping with the Raisinets I found on my porch on the Chinese New Year’s Day (It’s the Year of the Rabbit)

What’s the funniest or strangest fortune cookie you’ve ever gotten?

Have you noticed that Honesty is sometimes confused for speaking out in a tactless way? Being “true to our feelings” can reveal the worst parts of ourselves.

Circumstantial Goodness
My goodness (shown in how I think, speak, or act) is too often circumstance or feelings based. Is that true for you? We may treat someone well, if we feel well and good, or if we fear the consequences of skipping out on kindness. Those two things, however, are not goodness or good character sourced from a deeper, formative level. They don’t reveal goodness engrained in our true selves.

FAKING IT?
While, I will not advocate deception, phony pretense, or falsehood, there is something to be said for acting and speaking in a most virtuous way, until our thinking catches up with it. In other words, do the right thing so often that it becomes the new normal for you.

So, it’s actually the idea of acting (living/interacting) from our “best self”, not from a fabrication.

Example:
Say you struggle with keeping a positive attitude: Try putting on a positive attitude until your way of behaving is difficult to separate from who you are…until your thinking changes. ”Wear” a sanguine attitude, until you forget that you’re wearing it, and it becomes an extension of you. Think of it like how you would put on and wear a coat over your regular clothes during cold weather until you feel warm. (For me this would involve a hooded coat.)

Do it until you feel it… or ” option 2 “
I’ve usually advocated the opposite of what I have just said. I’ve thought its best to, “Get your thinking right, and then enact it.” But, you know what? Sometimes we’re just not “there” yet. Sometimes too many circumstances, or unmanageable sentiments block this from happening easily. Now, it seems we can get there from either side, and this, my friends, is good news indeed!

In Christian spiritual formation, we implement practices, concepts, and awareness of that which stimulates Sanctification (a.k.a. the process in which we develop into God-like (Good, like God) people through-in-through. We also consider: “What are God’s qualities?” One that stands out is perfect goodness. This perfect goodness is never based on feelings or circumstances when it’s attributed to God. It simply IS.

Thanks for reading today. I can almost hear the gears moving in your mind, so remember, your comments are welcome.

What can you tell us about feeling/thinking good before doing, or the other way around…doing before we’re feeling it? How does it work for you?

Verse of meditation: Colossians 3:12-14
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I met with my spiritual director today. In our time of prayer and reflection with God, the image came to mind of being seated among colored shards of glass. And I sensed God’s direction to let him put them together into a beautiful mosaic. How less beautiful would the work of art be without his Light to shine through it?

I don’t know how to put the broken pieces of my heart or my life together. But, I can hand them over to my Artist to make a masterpiece. The design, intention, and artisanship, of a Creator changes the useless into his glorious creation. I’m “in progress”, and when he’s done, I won’t just be mended, but I’ll be his lovely work of art.

Help me, dear God.

Do you feel like a mosaic in-progress? What places need to be mended in your life?

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Yellowstone Natl Park

This picutre stinks. Sure it’s beautiful, but if we only see the world through 2D images like this, we may not encounter awe or wonderment. We can know who we are better and our place in this world when we include a healthy and vibrant visual ingestion of the beauty around us, outdoors.

I’m putting you up to a challenge.

Don’t let this day go by without going outside…until you are amazed.

Notice the natural world. Take in the sights of the clouds, trees, the birds, the mountains, valleys, rivers, or plains around you. Soak it in until you are in awe. The glory of nature in a window into the transcendent. The intricacy, careful design, loveliness, and goodness of the created/natural world should astonish us.

When was the last time you made time to be astonished by God’s world?

Oh, and please don’t forget to tell us what amazed you!

Critically thinking is something we don’t do enough. Thinking better, and making better decisions has everything to do with thinking more clearly and critically. A bad argument (aka poor logic) shouldn’t fool us, or convince us. Chances are you’re getting kicked around more than you think.

(This is supplemental material for my worldviews class.)

Listen to any radio, talk show, or news program after you understand the following logic issues, and you spot one logical fallacy after another. Now you’ll have the knowledge base to disarm flawed rationalizations and weak assertions.

So, use the next 97 seconds and pick some fallacies that appeal to you. Then, share something new you learned. Or, visit soon, and tell us the first fallacy your spotted.

There will be prizes!

some other family enjoying mealtime prayer

Do you pray before meals with your family?

This Christian spiritual practice is one I grew up with. I was praying at meals since I was 3, and I remember some of those first prayers. Do you remember getting to pray for the meals as a child? It felt like an honor to be asked, as I recall.

Here’s where it gets weird.
My two children (ages, almost 11 and 8 years old, respectively) seem to loath mealtime prayers, under any circumstances.

Unlike many children from praying homes, mine rebuff any offers to say the prayer at mealtime, even when they are sweetened with awesome bribes! They usually complain about mealtime prayer, despite our conversations about having our particular family tradition and its importance in our view of the world. Most often, the kids see mealtime prayers as a unpleasant obstacle preventing their nourishment. And, it seems to be worsening as time goes by.

That’s right a 30 second prayer time before meals is worse than other forms of child torture…like going to bed at 8:00, or hanging up one’s coat, or emptying the silverware from the dishwasher. I don’t get it either.

As a person who’s spent hundreds of hours researching and learning how to help people grow spiritually, this is a bit of a black eye…oh, and a punch in the gut. It’s not just a bit embarrassing to realize, but  it makes me think that perhaps my children’s basic spiritual formation is compromised if these times of prayer are not meaningful and helpful when we do them. I think we could all be the worse for our failure here.

So, I’ve been speaking with my husband about how we can change things up, and enliven family prayer time to make God, and thanking God for our food more participatory, vivified, and worthwhile for all of us. I want children with grateful hearts.

I thought of some ideas, and I hope you will contribute to the mix too. I could use your ideas and advice.

Idea 1. Lighting a candle:
Kids love fire. Right? I’d like to try to light a voitive candle for each of us and read John 8:12

Then Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

We can then respond. “Thank you Jesus for your light in our hearts. Thank you for our meal. Amen.”

Idea 2. Maybe adding a kind of prop, visual aid, or short object lesson with our practice would make it not just a more interesting time, but will carry on in their thoughts. Then, at night when putting them to bed, we could bring it up again, for a little meditating or conversation for an evening prayer.

Idea 2. Maybe using a mixing of responsive prayers during the week could awaken us to a richer time of thanks before meals.

Prayer 1:

(lead voice) The eyes of all wait upon you, O God,
(others) And you give them their food in due season.

You open wide your hand
and fill all things living with plenteousness.

Bless, O Lord, these gifts to our use and us in your service;
relieve the needs of those in want and give us thankful hearts;
for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Prayer 2:

(lead voice) Bless us, O Lord, who bless your holy name
and by this food, feed us for your holy service.

(others) Thank you, Father and Lord. Amen.

This one could be said after meal time, to add some thankfulness “bookends” to the time together.

After meal prayer:

(lead voice) All your works praise you, O God,
(others) And your faithful servants bless you.

They make known the glory of your kingdom
And speak of your power.

For these and all God’s gifts and graces,
let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God. Amen.

Other ideas:

1. We could also go around the table and thank God for something. (My kids balk at this usually.)

2. We could stand and hold hands, or change our posture during prayer, from the norm (which for us is holding hands while seated).

3. When could listen to a singing of a psalm, or worship song before the meal.

HELP! What else can be done to make mealtime prayer better?