I get into this thing sometimes and I catch myself trying to cut a deal.
It’s bargaining. I do it with myself and in prayer.
I’ve noticed that the 5 stages of Grief are also the same as the Stages of Change.
If you’ve ever started something new that should be a good thing and then felt conflicted?
It’s because there is a loss of something involved. Maybe something familiar. Maybe dream. Maybe a place. Maybe a group of people or a person. It’s a process of grief to move through, even for seemingly simple things. Change and grieving are linked.
Stage 1: Denial
(Nothing’s really changed. Nothing big really happened. Everything is normal.)
Stage 2: Anger
(I really don’t like this. I feel frustrated and upset. I want to lash out or numb out.)
Stage 3: Bargaining
(How about if I do this, you can come through for me in this way. Or. If I do this, maybe this other thing will happen.)
Stage 4: Depression
(I don’t want to deal with this. I’m going into my shell. Go away.)
Stage 5: Acceptance
(It’s going to be okay.)
I wonder what would happen if we prayed with each stage in mind. Like a roadmap. When we got to the bargaining part, we might just smile, because the script is already there. How funny. Maybe we don’t even have to do it. Or we can do it and in the ritual of it we could heal.
Then, perhaps, in the depression stage we can just sit in silence with God and not feel so alone. Then–I’m guessing here–the Acceptance is more thorough and includes not just accepting the newness but feeling accepted where ever you are too. If only I could catch the stages before they get to me.
However it works, the process will happen again and again. They don’t tell you this stuff when you’re a kid. You stumble into knowing that most of life is like reincarnation in bits and pieces of us. The same patterns. The same stages repeated. The same getting there again and again. For the first time and repeatedly.
What change are you in right now?
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