Path to Porn (part III)

I strongly suggest you read the 2 earlier posts  in this series to get all the context needed for this series. I say this because a blog cannot be exhaustive on a topic, or give important issues a thorough going over. Instead, a blog can be a starting point to open up topics that are overlooked, or glossed over, or downright avoided. The stats say the most pastors look at porn, fairly regularly, when was the last time you heard them admit it?

I hope you’ll comment with your thoughts, or write on the topic yourself, (and share the link, so we can follow along.)

Uncomfortable topics:
In most Christian circles masturbation and pornography…or porn, which is actually not the same…(see “porn” definition from previous post) aren’t discussed, that is, least not until the worst is over. Sex might be discussed, but if it gets personal, or unflattering, well, it seems rare that you’ll hear honesty.

You’ll be hard pressed to find your ladies book club trailing off in that direction. “Well, I was feeling lonely last night, and this Amish romance is so, you know…hot, or whatever…and I just starting imaging myself as Hannah Swartzentruber on a forbidden buggy ride, and it’s all fun and games until someone has an orgasm, ya know. Am I right, ladies?” (My previous ‘Amish Romance’ post here.)

Probably you won’t hear that, right? Not so much.

The internet and other media allow for private voyeurism that trips many of us up. This goes for men and women.

Still, some might say, “This is fairly normal stuff, right?” or “Does it matter?” Things that are typical aren’t equivalent to things that are healthy, necessarily. Involvement in porn (be it sexual or otherwise) is a honey trap. Distracting and eventually toxic to us, and our relationships.

Here’s some of the inter dialogue when we travel the path to porn, and I speak from experience, and my female mind.

If we know the circumstances that lead up to viewing things we shouldn’t, perhaps we won’t get too far down the trail, before we course correct.

Thoughts, feelings, or circumstances involving:

• Feeling rejected/not belonging

• Feeling left out

• Feeling misunderstood

• Envy and Jealousy

• Feeling out of control

• Wish fulfillment/fantasy

• Feeling isolated or lonely

• Anger or bitterness

Share your thoughts on this issue.

+ the Potent Question of the Day: What have been the circumstances of your involvement in viewing voyeuristic or sexual content?

Important note:
While I encourage honesty and confession, this might not be the ideal place to have a “tell all.” Please get into a committed accountability relationship as you work through this journey. Thank you very much for participating in this series, and commenting as much as you are able. And remember that you can always comment here anonymously.)

-Thank you.

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Spark My Muse

Lisa Colón DeLay writes often on matters of the attending to the inner life, creating a beloved community, spiritual formation, and consciousness. She is also a designer, teacher, speaker, and host of the weekly broadcast Spark My Muse since 2015. Lisa is Latina (born in Puerto Rico) and holds an MA in Spiritual Formation and is the author of "The Wild Land Within" (Broadleaf Books) and other books.

3 thoughts on “Path to Porn (part III)”

  1. I would say that many of the same triggers are there for men as well.

    In many different types of recovery groups the acronym HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) is used to spot dangerous times.

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