{"id":10313,"date":"2012-10-01T12:06:43","date_gmt":"2012-10-01T17:06:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?p=10313"},"modified":"2012-10-02T17:55:15","modified_gmt":"2012-10-02T22:55:15","slug":"jesus-had-a-wife-and-other-shtick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/jesus-had-a-wife-and-other-shtick\/","title":{"rendered":"Jesus Had a Wife…and other Shtick"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post is related to the hubbub about a alleged artifact from 400 years after Jesus.<\/h4>\n

Here’s an article<\/span><\/a><\/span> of that and some of the new surrounding controversy that will make the validity of such a finding dubious at best. Just when it gets interesting it leaves you with nothing. Much like this whole hullabaloo will.<\/h4>\n

Discussing that is not<\/span> the focus of this post.<\/h3>\n

Also, the image above is not a painting of the first knock-knock joke:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Mary: “Knock-knock”<\/span><\/p>\n

Voice in tomb: “Who’s there?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Mary: “Mary…wait…um… you’re not Jesus, you’re an angel. What are you doing in here?!”<\/span><\/p>\n

Voice in tomb: “Got ‘cha, Mary. Jesus is alive! and he looks a lot like the guy who takes care of this garden.”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The ancient papyrus lines in question (written in Coptic 400 years after Jesus) are in bold below:<\/p>\n

The legible lines on the front of the artifact seem to be a conversation between Jesus and his disciples. The fourth line of the text says, “Jesus said to them, my wife.<\/strong>” Line 5 says “… she will be able to be my disciple,<\/strong>” while the line before the “wife” quote has Jesus saying “Mary is worthy of it”<\/strong> and line 7 says, \u201cAs for me, I dwell with her in order to<\/strong> …”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, suppose this scrap contains the actual words of Jesus, could we solve the mystery?<\/h4>\n

Firstly, for context….remember the “Plank in the eye thing<\/a>” Jesus said once…well, here’s the thing about that: That was Shtick<\/a>.<\/h4>\n

So, maybe this is too.<\/p>\n

“Jesus said to them, my wife<\/strong><\/em>….I mean, should I forego this dying for humanity stuff, my wife will be a great<\/span> cook. Ya’ll know I love grilled fish, right?<\/span>“<\/h3>\n

or<\/h3>\n

“…she will be my disciple<\/strong><\/em>, and I have a feeling she won’t be as big a pain in the rump as you guys have been.<\/span>“<\/h3>\n

or<\/p>\n

“Mary is worthy of it<\/strong><\/em>. And by “it” I mean R-E-S-P-E-C-T, yo.<\/span>“<\/h3>\n

or<\/p>\n

“You guys can stay over at Peter’s house, and for my sake, please patch up the roof from the other day.<\/span> As for me, I dwell with her in order to<\/strong><\/em> get some freakin’ peace and quiet. You bicker constantly!<\/span>“<\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

You probably thought I’d say, “Jesus said to them, my wife…take my wife, please.” right?<\/p>\n

NOW—you fill in the blanks. Finish Jesus’ sentences. (It’s not<\/strong>\u00a0stuff from the Bible, so don’t worry. It’s not sinning if you’re adding text and meaning to a Coptic gag reel.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Firstly, remember the “Plank in the eye thing” Jesus said once…that was Shtick. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[6,824,6010,1388,1520,5778,6538,41,6007,2143,6009,6008],"class_list":["post-10313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-art","category-authors","tag-bible","tag-coptic","tag-de-vinci-code","tag-funny","tag-gospel","tag-harvard","tag-humor","tag-jesus","tag-karen-king","tag-mary","tag-mary-magdelene","tag-wife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10313"}],"version-history":[{"count":37,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10313\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10318,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10313\/revisions\/10318"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}