{"id":10851,"date":"2012-11-30T09:06:32","date_gmt":"2012-11-30T14:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?p=10851"},"modified":"2012-11-30T15:12:27","modified_gmt":"2012-11-30T20:12:27","slug":"stuff-you-dont-expect-to-say-at-christmas-humor-from-real-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/stuff-you-dont-expect-to-say-at-christmas-humor-from-real-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Stuff you don’t expect to say at Christmas (humor from real life)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas….everywhere you go.<\/span><\/h4>\n

Here’s some things I didn’t think I’d say at Christmastime…<\/span><\/h4>\n

“No! Honey, take little baby Jesus out of your mouth and put him back!”<\/p>\n

“Yes, he looks like candy, but keep him in the hay. That’s his bed.”<\/p>\n

“No Jesus didn’t eat ham for Christmas dinner, I’m sure of it.”<\/p>\n

“I wonder why Santa smells like that.”<\/p>\n

“That’s garland. It looks tasty, and yes it’s pretty, but it’s not for eating.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, if our house was made of candy we might have more cavities.”<\/p>\n

“Does that costume ever get washed?”<\/p>\n

“No, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph never rode a train.”<\/p>\n

“If I see another man wearing mistletoe on his belt, I think I’m going to freak out.”<\/p>\n

“Honey, I don’t know why the girl elf has almost no clothes on when she’s from the north pole. It is weird.”<\/p>\n

“No, we won’t be using Raisinets to show that reindeer were nearby.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, the woman singing Santa-Baby<\/em> sounds like a cat. I think that’s on purpose.”<\/p>\n

“Santa wasn’t one of the wise men, and he didn’t get anything for baby Jesus’ birthday. That came later.”<\/p>\n

“No, The Three Magi is not a group Nikki Minaj was in.”<\/p>\n

“Why does that elf look like he’s in the mafia?”<\/p>\n

“There was no Round John Burgeon at the stable. He wasn’t a shepherd . It’s ’round yon virgin’, not Round John Burgeon….”<\/p>\n

“I don’t know why candy canes stick to the backs of sweaters so much.”<\/p>\n

“The angel wasn’t named Harold, and he didn’t have a harp. It’s “Hark, with a “k”, which sort of means “listen”, and it’s “herald” which means “a messenger”…oh nevermind.”<\/p>\n

“Yes, sweetie, I know a lot of people do smell like cough medicine at Christmastime.”<\/p>\n

\u00a0Feel free to add your own in the comments section!<\/strong><\/p>\n

(If you had a chuckle, will you please tweet it up? Spread the good cheer.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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