{"id":11778,"date":"2013-03-13T07:36:52","date_gmt":"2013-03-13T12:36:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?p=11778"},"modified":"2013-03-16T12:13:03","modified_gmt":"2013-03-16T17:13:03","slug":"gleanings-from-krasner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/gleanings-from-krasner\/","title":{"rendered":"Gleanings from Krasner"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dr<\/a>I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)<\/p>\n

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar\u00a0can<\/em>\u00a0you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.<\/p>\n

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gleanings<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted<\/strong>. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.<\/p>\n

\u2022 We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.<\/p>\n

\u2022 We also hope for magic<\/strong><\/em>. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.<\/p>\n

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources<\/strong> they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice<\/em> for them.<\/p>\n

Communication and Transactions<\/strong><\/p>\n

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Understanding the context<\/span> of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The biggest reason people divorce?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 They cannot disagree and still<\/span> stay connected.<\/p>\n

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)<\/p>\n

The most important things we can teach our children?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022 Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess:\u00a0Hesed<\/a> love.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n