{"id":16375,"date":"2015-08-25T05:59:33","date_gmt":"2015-08-25T10:59:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?p=16375"},"modified":"2015-12-23T14:18:29","modified_gmt":"2015-12-23T19:18:29","slug":"esp-23-the-hidden-family-rules-that-have-shaped-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/esp-23-the-hidden-family-rules-that-have-shaped-you\/","title":{"rendered":"ESP 23 The hidden &#8220;family rules&#8221; that have shaped you (and still impact your life)"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-16376\" src=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/familyfight-300x186.png\" alt=\"familyfight\" width=\"300\" height=\"186\" data-wp-pid=\"16376\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/familyfight-300x186.png 300w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/familyfight-350x217.png 350w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/familyfight-150x93.png 150w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/familyfight-600x373.png 600w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/familyfight.png 676w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Did this ever happen to you? You think\u00a0the way your family (of origin) does something is normal, and then, suddenly, you find\u00a0out it isn&#8217;t?<\/h3>\n<p>Usually, this happens when you form close relationships outside your family of origin. Fireworks can ensue!<\/p>\n<p><strong>How your family dealt with conflicts, problems, shame, secrets, and tragedies shaped you and learning relational and loyalty dynamics from the previous generations in your family can bring relational repair, health, and hope.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em><strong>That&#8217;s what today&#8217;s show is about. I&#8217;m glad you can listen, today. <\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/player.blubrry.com\/?media_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.blubrry.com%2Fspark_my_muse%2Fcontent.blubrry.com%2Fspark_my_muse%2FJanetStauffer.mp3&amp;podcast_link=https%3A%2F%2Flisadelay.com%2Fblog%2Fesp-23-the-hidden-family-rules-that-have-shaped-you%2F\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"100%\" height=\"165\" frameborder=\"0\" id=\"blubrryplayer-1\" class=\"blubrryplayer\" title=\"Blubrry Podcast Player\"><\/iframe><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/spark_my_muse\/content.blubrry.com\/spark_my_muse\/JanetStauffer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?powerpress_pinw=16375-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/spark_my_muse\/content.blubrry.com\/spark_my_muse\/JanetStauffer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow\" download=\"JanetStauffer.mp3\">Download<\/a> (87.7MB) | <a href=\"#\" class=\"powerpress_link_e\" title=\"Embed\" onclick=\"return powerpress_show_embed('16375-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Embed<\/a><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_embed_box\" id=\"powerpress_embed_16375-podcast\" style=\"display: none;\"><input id=\"powerpress_embed_16375-podcast_t\" type=\"text\" value=\"&lt;iframe src=&quot;https:\/\/player.blubrry.com\/?media_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.blubrry.com%2Fspark_my_muse%2Fcontent.blubrry.com%2Fspark_my_muse%2FJanetStauffer.mp3&amp;podcast_link=https%3A%2F%2Flisadelay.com%2Fblog%2Fesp-23-the-hidden-family-rules-that-have-shaped-you%2F&quot; scrolling=&quot;no&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot; height=&quot;165&quot; frameborder=&quot;0&quot; id=&quot;blubrryplayer-2&quot; class=&quot;blubrryplayer&quot; title=&quot;Blubrry Podcast Player&quot;&gt;&lt;\/iframe&gt;\" onclick=\"javascript: this.select();\" onfocus=\"javascript: this.select();\" style=\"width: 70%;\" readOnly><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_subscribe_links\">Subscribe to Spark My Muse <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/spark-my-muse\/id988423690?mt=2&amp;ls=1#episodeGuid=https%3A%2F%2Flisadelay.com%2Fblog%2F%3Fp%3D16375\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_itunes\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe on Apple Podcasts\" rel=\"nofollow\">Apple Podcasts<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_spotify\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe on Spotify\" rel=\"nofollow\">Spotify<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/subscribebyemail.com\/feeds.podcastmirror.com\/spark-my-muse\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe by Email\" rel=\"nofollow\">Email<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_tunein\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe on TuneIn\" rel=\"nofollow\">TuneIn<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/feeds.podcastmirror.com\/spark-my-muse\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_rss\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe via RSS\" rel=\"nofollow\">RSS<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/spark-muse-podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_more\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe to Spark My Muse\" rel=\"nofollow\">Subscribe to Spark My Muse<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Today&#8217;s guest is graduate school professor and marriage and family therapist in private clinical practice, Janet Stauffer, Ph.D.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-thumbnail wp-image-16377\" src=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Stauffer-J-038-e1422044242927-101x150.jpeg\" alt=\"Stauffer-J-038-e1422044242927\" width=\"101\" height=\"150\" data-wp-pid=\"16377\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Stauffer-J-038-e1422044242927-101x150.jpeg 101w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Stauffer-J-038-e1422044242927.jpeg 201w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 101px) 100vw, 101px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>JANET&#8217;S BIO:<\/p>\n<p><em>Dean of Students, Evangelical Seminary<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>In addition to her work at the seminary and her clinical practice, Janet is vice president of the <strong>Board of Directors at Philhaven Behavioral Healthcare facility<\/strong>. She has led retreats, presented at professional conferences, and published articles in a number of journals. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and approved supervisor and clinical member of the <strong>American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists<\/strong>. She also holds membership in the <strong>Christian Association for Psychological Studies<\/strong>. Her research interests include genuine meeting through dialogical engagement, loyalty dynamics between and across the generations of the family, and the intersection of faith and therapy.<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>SHOWNOTES:<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p>MIN<\/p>\n<p>1:40<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Each person is born with an inherent longing to connect.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>2:40<\/p>\n<p>Early childhood experiences shape who we are and how we relate to others.<\/p>\n<p>Our ancestors deliver ways of being to us across generations:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/SIOT9d0nHhU\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>4:00<\/p>\n<p>What can be done if the early years weren\u2019t filled with dysfunction and problems?<\/p>\n<p>5:00<\/p>\n<p>How relationship can alter the wiring and re-patterning of the brain.<\/p>\n<p>5:30<\/p>\n<p>Jim Coen, UVA &#8211; The Hand holding experiment.<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/1UMHUPPQ96c\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>7:00<\/p>\n<p>In close relationships, we end up feeling\u2013not only are you here with me\u2013but somehow you are me. Somehow we are here together.<\/p>\n<p>8:20<\/p>\n<p>Before we can help others, we have to be open to ourselves and our own healing. Our wounds can remain as vulnerabilities and our greatest resource.<\/p>\n<p>11:00<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI because who I am through my relationships with other people, so that more of me gets called forth as I respond to others in my world around me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The still face experiment:<br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/apzXGEbZht0\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>12:15<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFoo-Poo\u201d (FOO = Family of Origin) influences our current relationships.<\/p>\n<p>12:45<\/p>\n<p>The interconnectedness and \u201cloyalty dynamics\u201d between and across the generations and how during all our interactions we are holding something that has been passed down across generations and in the larger cultural dynamics.<\/p>\n<p>14:00<\/p>\n<p>Example from life (Janet, her husband and the Ford Fiesta). Naming the truth in our interactions and being curious about what we hold from generations before us.<\/p>\n<p>16:00<\/p>\n<p>Janet explored what anger was like for her mother and grandmother and discovered not just a family secret and the shame that was carried on, but also a a family norm relating to how pain is dealt with.<\/p>\n<p>18:00<\/p>\n<p>Family secrets and ways of interacting waiting like land mines that can sabotage our other relationships.<\/p>\n<p>20:00<\/p>\n<p>We can also end up carrying or holding visibly or invisibly things that our spouse (or other close relationships) hold as well.<\/p>\n<p>21:30<\/p>\n<p>There are options for growth and healing if we can be open, aware, curious and can find courage to turn and face [the other] and remember where our weakness are and admit them.<\/p>\n<p>22:30<\/p>\n<p>The power of naming what is happening for us emotionally.<\/p>\n<p>23:00<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHonoring my personal truth, personal awareness, my being, and made a claim for myself has a profound impact in my own knowing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>24:00<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEvery one of us experiences terror at the thought of finding the courage to turn and face the other in a painful situation at some point in our life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>25:30<\/p>\n<p>A defend or fight mode should be superseded by the prevailing message \u201cYou and I are on the team team ultimately. We have a reason to connect and I long for you. But it\u2019s been hard between and here\u2019s something of how it\u2019s been for me\u2026 and I want to know what it\u2019s like for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>26:20<\/p>\n<p>Yet, we cannot think what we say will always help because we cannot guarantee the other person\u2019s response. So there is vulnerability in saying the truth.<\/p>\n<p>26:50<\/p>\n<p>Being calm, curious and compassionate even in the face of wounds and vulnerability.<\/p>\n<p>27:30<\/p>\n<p>Emotionally self-regulating and contending with emotional triggers.<\/p>\n<p>30:00<\/p>\n<p>(In marriage or close relationships) Learning self and other in a whole new way\u2026in a kind of sacred space to grow through the most tender places that we hold.<\/p>\n<p>31:00<\/p>\n<p>Telling the other what would help in what feels like an unsafe place emotionally.<\/p>\n<p>31:20<\/p>\n<p>Learning to soothe one another.<\/p>\n<p>32:00<\/p>\n<p>On core lies we can believe about ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>33:00<\/p>\n<p>Honoring when emotional safety is just as important as physical safety.<\/p>\n<p>34:00<\/p>\n<p>What to do when it\u2019s not safe to have important conversations.<\/p>\n<p>36:00<\/p>\n<p>Martin Buber-We live with an armor around us and bands around our heart and being closed off and unaware and unaddressed.<\/p>\n<p>37:30<\/p>\n<p>Asking questions of ourselves to create more awareness and realizing our thoughts and memories are not us.<\/p>\n<p>38:30<\/p>\n<p>We limit our imagination about the capacity each of us holds to respond the other, the world around us and ourself.<\/p>\n<p>39:00<\/p>\n<p>We can test our assumptions and plant seeds that bring new possibilities for ourself and others.<\/p>\n<p>40:20<\/p>\n<p>When we can\u2019t yet name or isolate our feelings.<\/p>\n<p>41:00<\/p>\n<p>Giving permission and a soft demand to know what is going on with someone else and helping them find their voice.<\/p>\n<p>42:30<\/p>\n<p>The biblical tradition of the garden where God says \u201cWhere art thou?\u201d a story about hiding. God\u2019s longing for humankind.<\/p>\n<p>44:00<\/p>\n<p>King David in the psalms is modeling openness and receptivity\u2026asking \u201cWhat is in my heart?\u201d \u201cWho am I?\u201d \u201cWhat do I hold?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>46:00<\/p>\n<p>Being open and still safe. Giving yourself warm, regard, and leaving the self-judgment out.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cJudgment limits the knowing.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>47:00<\/p>\n<p>Being present to and growing in recognition of \u201chere\u2019s what I hold\u201d or \u201chere\u2019s what freezes me\u201d etc and asking \u201chow can I be more free?\u201d and then exploring new pathways and practices that go somewhere.<\/p>\n<p>50:10<\/p>\n<p>On the spiritual practices and things can people do to move forward.<\/p>\n<p>51:00<\/p>\n<p>These ways of understanding what it is to connect, grow and be human are universal and offer hope to those with varied religious tradition and no religious affiliation too.<\/p>\n<p>53:00<\/p>\n<p>The spiritual and the Other when it is not defined as \u201cGod\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>54:20<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cGod doesn\u2019t limit God\u2019s self to the church or the synagogue or the mosque and we can never fully describe God because God cannot be contained and is always more than what I can fathom or grasp\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>55:00<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Asking, \u201cHow do I understand the call before me and how do I invite others and find the place where they are experiencing call and longing and where is this work happening within them. What is being invited forth?&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>56:10<\/p>\n<p>How we can pass down the best of our generational dynamics and loyalties to our children.<\/p>\n<p>57:20<\/p>\n<p>On the invisible family rule of perfectionism and how it made Janet think she could be the perfect parent and how that idea was shattered.<\/p>\n<p>58:30<\/p>\n<p>How she approached her son after that point to understand what he was experiencing and being surprised by his reply.<\/p>\n<p>59:00<\/p>\n<p>We can never get it all right, but we can be willing to go to our child and ask them about their experience.<\/p>\n<p>60:00<\/p>\n<p>Inviting others to know themselves in whatever capacity to do that they can and hold what they say with care and honor.<\/p>\n<p>61:00<\/p>\n<p>Enacting moments and accumulating themes and transactions and happenings and asking \u201cIs their a burden they carry or an injury of disregard or diminishment that was not theirs to carry?\u201d which deserve address and caring and honor.<\/p>\n<p>62:00<\/p>\n<p>On having a commit to \u201cI will be there for you, and I will be here for me, and I invite you to be here for me,\u201d is a profound act that helps us for the long run.<\/p>\n<p>64:00<\/p>\n<p>Despite our efforts, outcomes are not guaranteed and each person has an opportunity to respond uniquely.<\/p>\n<p>RESOURCES for further discovery:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"width: 120px; height: 240px;\" src=\"\/\/ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=ss_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=thbloflicode-20&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=031611300X&amp;asins=031611300X&amp;linkId=6AWA2YTNQFUD6ZSS&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><br \/>\n<\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"width: 120px; height: 240px;\" src=\"\/\/ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;OneJS=1&amp;Operation=GetAdHtml&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;source=ss&amp;ref=ss_til&amp;ad_type=product_link&amp;tracking_id=thbloflicode-20&amp;marketplace=amazon&amp;region=US&amp;placement=1608820580&amp;asins=1608820580&amp;linkId=2HIVLBRD3HG6C7PD&amp;show_border=true&amp;link_opens_in_new_window=true\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><br \/>\n<\/iframe><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Please subscribe to the Spark My Muse newsletter (<a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/blog\/get-updates\/\" target=\"_blank\">HERE<\/a>) to know about upcoming shows and new things in the works!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Think anyone else might appreciate the show? Please share it with that special someone! :)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/player.blubrry.com\/?media_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.blubrry.com%2Fspark_my_muse%2Fcontent.blubrry.com%2Fspark_my_muse%2FJanetStauffer.mp3&amp;podcast_link=https%3A%2F%2Flisadelay.com%2Fblog%2Fesp-23-the-hidden-family-rules-that-have-shaped-you%2F\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"100%\" height=\"165\" frameborder=\"0\" id=\"blubrryplayer-3\" class=\"blubrryplayer\" title=\"Blubrry Podcast Player\"><\/iframe><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/spark_my_muse\/content.blubrry.com\/spark_my_muse\/JanetStauffer.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?powerpress_pinw=16375-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a 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relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16402,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"audio","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5626],"tags":[4376,188,4642,214,249,6534,6331,265,4378,5325,5194,5143,5354,482,4596,4494,4584,4941,632,633,649,15,732,4708,848,915,6438,995,4377,4697,5653,1122,1157,5956,4786,1184,1187,1204,1222,6188,4374,1269,1294,1347,1462,1472,1515,6108,1525,1547,1550,1597,1598,1600,1604,1616,1684,37,6491,1742,4716,4336,1763,5880,4299,5647,1891,4081,5645,4652,1927,1967,1980,5533,2016,6351,6132,2053,2071,3839,2089,5320,4721,2202,2246,2248,5744,2364,2367,5422,56,4585,2521,6074,6503,4798,6040,5943,5576,2704,6135,2723,2747,2787,2823,2831,2834,3851,4465,2855,2856,2857,2859,2868,4079,2927,5897,4433,4149,2941,2979,6002,4648,3025,3054,5646,4628,3141,3159,5855,3184,75,3211,3257,6134,4271,5094,6436,4767,3860,6130,5529,5434,3421,4241,3429,4303,4554,3516,3546,4300,3614,3621,3978,3655,3711,89,5465,3760],"class_list":["post-16375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-audio","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spark-my-muse","tag-act","tag-alter","tag-american","tag-anger","tag-armor","tag-art","tag-articles","tag-asking","tag-be","tag-best","tag-best-of","tag-biblical","tag-blessed","tag-brain","tag-burden","tag-calm","tag-care","tag-child","tag-childhood","tag-children","tag-christian","tag-church","tag-cliff","tag-courage","tag-cozy","tag-david","tag-designer","tag-discovery","tag-do","tag-down","tag-emotional","tag-end","tag-evangelical","tag-evangelical-seminary","tag-example","tag-experience","tag-experiment","tag-faith","tag-family","tag-family-therapy","tag-feeling","tag-feelings","tag-fireworks","tag-free","tag-giving","tag-god","tag-goodness","tag-grad-school","tag-graduate-school","tag-growing","tag-growth","tag-healing","tag-health","tag-healthcare","tag-heart","tag-help","tag-honor","tag-hope","tag-husband","tag-i-am","tag-if","tag-imagination","tag-in","tag-injury","tag-invisible","tag-invite","tag-judgment","tag-just","tag-kind","tag-king","tag-king-david","tag-latte","tag-learning","tag-lies","tag-life","tag-limits","tag-listen","tag-listening","tag-longing","tag-loyalties","tag-loyalty","tag-marriage","tag-memories","tag-message","tag-moments","tag-money","tag-muse","tag-normal","tag-not","tag-opportunity","tag-pain","tag-parent","tag-people","tag-personal","tag-podcast","tag-power","tag-practices","tag-president","tag-private","tag-problems","tag-professor","tag-psalms","tag-questions","tag-reason","tag-regard","tag-relationship","tag-relationships","tag-religious","tag-remember","tag-research","tag-resource","tag-resources","tag-response","tag-retreats","tag-right","tag-rules","tag-sabotage","tag-sacred","tag-sacred-space","tag-safety","tag-school","tag-secret","tag-secrets","tag-seminary","tag-shame","tag-share","tag-show","tag-son","tag-space","tag-special","tag-spiritual","tag-spiritual-practices","tag-spouse","tag-story","tag-students","tag-studies","tag-support","tag-t-shirt","tag-team","tag-terror","tag-test","tag-the-church","tag-therapy","tag-things","tag-thinking","tag-thoughts","tag-tradition","tag-trip","tag-truth","tag-understanding","tag-universal","tag-voice","tag-vulnerability","tag-waiting","tag-weakness","tag-will","tag-work","tag-worth","tag-wounds","post_format-post-format-audio"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16375"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16375\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16381,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16375\/revisions\/16381"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}