{"id":2973,"date":"2010-08-03T16:35:19","date_gmt":"2010-08-03T20:35:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lifeasprayer.wordpress.com\/?p=2973"},"modified":"2010-08-03T16:35:19","modified_gmt":"2010-08-03T20:35:19","slug":"a-call-from-nazareth-swim-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/a-call-from-nazareth-swim-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"A Call from Nazareth swim coach-"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/lifeasprayer.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/08\/9-1-2-male-swimming-resin-272859.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2980\" title=\"9-1-2--Male-Swimming-Resin-272859\" src=\"http:\/\/lifeasprayer.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/08\/9-1-2-male-swimming-resin-272859.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"315\" height=\"234\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/9-1-2-male-swimming-resin-272859.jpg 581w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/9-1-2-male-swimming-resin-272859-350x260.jpg 350w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/9-1-2-male-swimming-resin-272859-300x223.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 315px) 100vw, 315px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/lifeasprayer.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/08\/175px-letter_n-1.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2978\" title=\"175px-Letter_N-1-\" src=\"http:\/\/lifeasprayer.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/08\/175px-letter_n-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"175\" height=\"175\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/175px-letter_n-1.png 175w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/175px-letter_n-1-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/175px-letter_n-1-100x100.png 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 175px) 100vw, 175px\" \/><\/a>Recent discovery of transcripts of a little-known telephone conversation with Mary of Nazareth show why Jesus never had a varsity letter in sports.<\/p>\n<p>(Transcribed while Mary was chattin&#8217; on her celly.)<\/p>\n<p><em>Hello, yes this is Mary.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I was wondering if I would hear from you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes, I understand Jesus doesn&#8217;t have his permission slip to be on the Swim Team.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes, I realize he needs one before 6 p.m. today, but I don&#8217;t agree with him being on the team.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Well, because he doesn&#8217;t even know how to swim, and&#8230;.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes, well, I understand that he walks on water just fine, or skims, whatever, but that&#8217;s not really the same thing. Actual swimming is done quite differently. It seems like an unfair advantage&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes, it&#8217;s surprising. He&#8217;s been quite an interesting child.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>What? Well, yes, he&#8217;s small and short. He takes after me, not his &#8220;father&#8221; on that. Genetics are a funny thing. <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I realize the chances for winning the Galilee-wide championships are on the line, but our family won&#8217;t be going around all high and mighty.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Why don&#8217;t we let use his gifts? Well, there&#8217;s a spiritual side to Jesus that you might not understand. He&#8217;s um&#8230; different.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes&#8230;..Explain Different? Oh, God. How can I explain this? I&#8217;m not sure I can explain, Coach Josiah, but I&#8217;ve been treasuring all of those things in my heart for now.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Thank you, yes, Coach. Thanks for understanding. Actually, it would be hard for him to make the meets; he has his hands full multiplying&#8230;I mean, making food for the prom committee. (They asked him to help because their budget is really low this year.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>No, he&#8217;s not much of a cook, per se, but he manages alright. I&#8217;m sure everyone will have plenty to eat.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>No, I&#8217;m not sure if he has a date, Coach Josiah. The girls seem to love him, but he likes to keep things casual&#8230;on a friendship level. He&#8217;ll probably go stag.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Okay, thanks for calling. Good luck this season. Mazel Tov!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jesus: NOT on the Swim team<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5626],"tags":[399,427,597,663,1267,6538,41,1845,1871,2143,2145,2230,2322,2967,68,3209,3210,3328,3330,3331,3417,3480,3584,3632],"class_list":["post-2973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spark-my-muse","tag-bible-humor","tag-blessed-mother","tag-cell-phone","tag-christian-humor","tag-feeding-of-5","tag-humor","tag-jesus","tag-jesus-miracles","tag-joke","tag-mary","tag-mary-mother-of-christ","tag-miracles","tag-nazareth","tag-satire","tag-scriptures","tag-sports","tag-sports-humor","tag-swim-club","tag-swim-team","tag-swimming","tag-theology-humor","tag-transcript","tag-varsity-letter","tag-walk-on-water"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2973","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2973"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2973\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2973"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2973"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2973"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}