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The 10th Anniversary of the 9\/11 tragedy a week from this Sunday. We will once again see images and recount the horrors of that day, and try in memorial to accept the reality of this world. Most of us don’t encounter death and our own mortality too often. Most of us don’t constantly see suffering, and witness grief and loss.<\/p>\n
Please take some time today, or this weekend to remember that the events of 9\/11 still bring pain to many. Loved ones are missed, and we can’t gloss over the national tragedy that left a collective hole in our hearts, even ten years later.<\/p>\n
This seems a fitting time to discuss an author who is very acquainted with death. It’s his job to be, and his perspective can be very helpful to us. As promised a couple of weeks earlier, the following is my personal interview with blogger and upcoming author Caleb Wilde<\/strong>, a 6th generation Funeral Director, seminary student, husband, and expectant adoptive dad.<\/p>\n My Questions for Caleb:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 1. Being a 6th generation funeral director, you have quite a unique vantage point on life, loss, and mortality. How do you think you live life differently than other Christians because of where God has placed you?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Caleb: In traditional religious calendars, the day in-between \u201cGood Friday\u201d and \u201cEaster\u201d is called \u201cHoly Saturday\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cHoly Saturday\u201d is the day the disciples’ hopes and beliefs were engulfed in death and silence, as they viewed their Messiah\u2019s death without the knowledge of the resurrection.<\/p>\n In some sense, I live the life of Holy Saturday.<\/p>\n As funeral directors, we\u2019re paid by families to be a human shield to death, whereby we make death somewhat easier, less real and more proper.\u00a0\u00a0As this human shield, I\u2019m affected.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m affected by the brokenness, by the grief, by the hopelessness I see in faces, by the newly fatherless\/motherless children, the tragic deaths and the accidents.<\/p>\n All this has made my personal faith more sensitive to questions of God\u2019s goodness and justice.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s not easy for me to understand ideas of \u201ceternal hell\u201d, or ideas of \u201cmeticulous divine providence\u201d or even \u201cabsolute foreknowledge\u201d or \u201comnipotence\u201d.<\/p>\n Sometimes I wonder if I\u2019m still a Christian.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. What do people misunderstand most about your work?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0We\u2019re a lot like pastors.\u00a0\u00a0Our jobs are really quite similar, except that one is recognized as \u201cministry\u201d while the other is \u201cbusiness.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s probably the largest misconception \u2026 there\u2019s no way funeral directors can meet with grieving families through the most difficult time of their lives and come out on the other side as \u201cbusiness people.\u201d<\/p>\n Everything else is true, though \u2026 we are dark and we are odd people.<\/p>\n In ancient times, death practitioners were ostracized from normal society by rule.\u00a0\u00a0Today, we\u2019re partly ostracized from the norm of society by practice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. The constant stream of customers (people dying, and their families burying them) can make one grow numb or cold toward the concept and process of death and burial. Do things still surprise you or impact you? What kind of things?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0There\u2019s something so unnatural about death that (save the very old) it\u2019s difficult to become numb.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4. You’ve probably thought about what you’d want your own funeral to look and sound like. Can you tell us about that?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0About two years ago, I started taking one minute video clips of myself, so that by the time I\u2019m 70, I should have a montage of age progression videos that can be used for my funeral.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve also talked about recording a message from myself to my family and friends that could be shown at my funeral as the eulogy.\u00a0\u00a0But, by the time I\u2019m ready to die, I figure they\u2019ll have holographic projections, so I\u2019ll wait for that tech until I record my final goodbye.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5. The saddest funeral I ever went to was for a 13 year old boy who took his own life. What have you learned about people during the time of more tragic circumstances that you’ve been a part of?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0Funerals\/death are a perfect storm: you have death, the inheritance money, high emotions and family you might not like too much who are around you all the time.<\/p>\n Funerals intensify people\u2019s real character.\u00a0\u00a0You see the best in people and you see the worst.\u00a0\u00a0The bad people will do horrendous things at funerals, like start fights, curse out their family members over money.\u00a0\u00a0And you can see Jesus in the good ones.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 6. Do you find your work mostly depressing, hopeful, profound, mundane, etc.? Would you recommend this vantage point to others?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0It\u2019s a tough ministry that has little boundaries.\u00a0\u00a0Many funeral homes are also generational, so many of us work with our dads, grandfathers, uncles and cousins, which can make this at-need work that much more difficult to set up healthy boundaries.<\/p>\n Similar to any ministry, I think there should be a passion for death work \u2026 a calling of sorts, whereby you know this is what you\u2019re supposed to do.\u00a0\u00a0And being a \u201ccalling\u201d, few have witnessed this vantage point.<\/p>\n It\u2019s unique.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 7. Do you want to stay in the family business? Why or why not?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0Next question : )<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 8. Tell us a bit about how you view suffering, pain, and death from your unique perspective…which probably has a lot to do with the message in your book.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0I\u2019ve built my understanding of God around suffering, pain and death.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s a local theology.\u00a0\u00a0And\u00a0my understanding of God, suffering, pain and death in light of my faith is the content of my upcoming book, \u201cConfessions of a Funeral Director.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Hopefully, it will be out in less than a year.\u00a0\u00a0You can get an idea of how death has affected my view of God at my blog,\u00a0www.calebwilde.com<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0My book, though, will contain much more narrative than my blog.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 9. What\u2019s your best idea for a Smart Phone app.?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Caleb:\u00a0I live near Lancaster County (PA), home of the Amish and Mennonites, so there\u2019s a lot of intermarrying in these parts.\u00a0\u00a0Not to mention, most of the towns in the rural areas of Pennsylvania have families that have lived there for centuries, so many of them are related.<\/p>\n I have an idea to partner with\u00a0Ancestry.com<\/a>\u00a0and create an app the lets you bump smart phones with another person and it will tell you how you\u2019re related to them.\u00a0\u00a0My theory is that this will greatly help the evolution of humans by creating a purer gene pool.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The apps name is \u201cBump it before you Hump it\u201d.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u00a0THANK YOU, Caleb, and best wishes on your book. I’m really excited to get a copy.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n The working title for Caleb’s book is\u00a0Confessions of \u00a0Funeral Director.\u00a0<\/em>A bit more on that\u00a0here<\/a>.<\/p>\n
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