{"id":9709,"date":"2012-07-24T20:20:18","date_gmt":"2012-07-25T01:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/?p=9709"},"modified":"2012-07-24T20:21:26","modified_gmt":"2012-07-25T01:21:26","slug":"5-things-you-learn-when-you-get-a-purple-finger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/5-things-you-learn-when-you-get-a-purple-finger\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things You Learn When You Get a Purple Finger"},"content":{"rendered":"

So, I shut my finger in the door. “Tallman” to be precise. Thumbkin fled the scene and is not taking questions.<\/p>\n

As is the case in too many of my injuries it happened when I was trying to do something good…in this case I was taking out a piece of recycling.<\/p>\n

“No good deed goes unpunished,” some say. The worst instance for me was when I was bowling for charity…I re-injured my knee by dislocating the kneecap part to a place it never belonged. Getting carried out of a bowl alley also has its own special kind of humiliation. That was an expensive bowling match that ended in surgery for me.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m going to try to find the humor in this far less devastating event.<\/em><\/p>\n

5 Things You Learn When You Get a Purple Finger<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. The thump thump throbbing finger thing you learned from cartoons is exceedingly\u00a0real<\/strong>. Darn you Fred Flintstone for making it look trite!<\/p>\n

2. The finger known formally as “Ringman” gets an instant promotion. “Go Ringman. Go Ringman!”<\/p>\n

3. A lot of middle-aged women and girls under the age of 7 like the color purple, but prefer it in a blouse.<\/p>\n

4. “You must be glad it’s not your dominant hand,” is\u00a0not\u00a0a sympathetic enough phrase to tell someone with an injury. This is especially true when it’s coming from a spouse.<\/p>\n

5. A doorknob as a specific purpose and function. Use it wisely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“The thump thump throbbing finger thing you learned from cartoons is exceedingly real. Darn you Fred Flintstone for…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5626],"tags":[3,5881,5878,5882,6538,5880,5879],"class_list":["post-9709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spark-my-muse","tag-fail","tag-back-nail","tag-fred-flintstone","tag-hanna-and-barbera","tag-humor","tag-injury","tag-purple"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9709"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9709\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9712,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9709\/revisions\/9712"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lisadelay.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}