The following is a transcript message from Lady Evelyn Cornelia to fans, supporters, and friends of the podcast and of her majesty.
Dear Subjects,
I am well.
You may have noticed the rather menacing photo of me circulating. It is featured here to help you understand.
It is not a flattering image particularly, but I am pleased that it is circulating if it produces the proper attention in the general public and gives pause to friends of the show who, unlike you–my dear favorite listeners, have been a bit stingy with their monies toward our efforts.
The podcast needs more support, and now it’s purrsonal.
We all feel the financial pinch occasionally. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to switch to more chicken in my diet and fewer trips to my catnip resource person, just to do my part. But, we do what we can.
Because I went down to six trips purr week, there was a significant lull in my enthusiasm toward humans at the beginning of this month. I took it out on the corner of the blue lounge chair. First, I acted as though I was stretching and then…whoops… I just got my claws stuck.
Then, I pulled them in and out a few times. But after this point, I simply got lost in my work and forgot to be sly about any of it. I did some shredding, because, of course, my catnip dose was off, as I mentioned earlier.
I have a few things I’d like to leave you with to reflect on as you enjoy the coming weeks and until you hear from me again, which I know you very much look forward to.
- Never assume that cats have short memories. We don’t. We remember and the pee on the rug is no accident. It could be from a real or imagined slight 3 years ago. And, why it happened is really none of your business. Try to do better next time and it won’t happen at all.
- Remember that wet counters or floors are gross and no one, least of all us like to touch them. Simply wipe up and no harm will come to you.
- Grabby children are demons. The should be banished from earth. Keep them in a pen outdoors where they belong and throw them food if you have to nourish them.
If you’d like advice on life, love, or catnip, please send in your queries. I’d be delighted to help.
That’s all for now, my lovelies. Ta!
–LEC 
Amena is a poet, speaker, author, podcaster, and event host.
Today we will discus her work and her book: How to Fix a Broken Record: Thoughts on Vinyl Records, Awkward Relationships, and Learning to Be Myself
(DJ Opdiggy’s music is featured in this episode.)
