on Creating in Secret

The Top 200 List of most influential church bloggers came out. I found the list perplexing even after I read the metrics used in the decision process.

Though I didn’t expect to make such a list, I did recognize some blogger friends who did make it. Congratulations to you who did. (Some of these influential bloggers have guest posted here, check out this series to read them.)

What I am writing about today flies in the face of all of the “want to” for making that, or any, list. Well, most of it. It’s about the bigger picture. It’s about coming into our own creative health. 

At the STORY conference in Chicago last week I heard Mako Fujimura in person for the first time. What a gift.

He talked about the secret creative world of Emily Dickinson, her garden and her many poems. He told us of the need to create something “for just you”.

He experienced this for himself when he was on a tight-deadline commission to illustrate the four gospels. During that time he created Golden Sea. Nobody knew about it.

Golden Sea, Mako Fujimara

Something happens when we create without thinking about our client or audience. We create because we must. Because we get a gift of inspiration. Something pure is borne.

In contrast, something gets lost or compromised in the process of creating while thinking about communicating the art…Or when we think about outcomes.

American painter Andrew Wyeth created secretly this for fifteen years. Andrew enjoyed success for 7 decades, and always had buyers for his art.

Maybe that’s why his studio was his sacred, private space, and he secretly painted (or drew) his German-born neighbor Helga…over 240 times.

His wife didn’t appreciate it when she learned of this secret collection hidden away in the home of a friend and art student, but Andrew insisted that he needed something that was “just his”.

In the mid 1980s a world tour of the paintings made a huge splash in the art world. There was just something extra special about the collection that was palpable.

This is a good lesson for me to learn. I realize I need to resist sharing everything I create. I need to think more about the creation not the outcome. It doesn’t have to be about saying something to someone. What I create can just…exist.

“Braids” (a Helga portrait by Andrew Wyeth)
Is it hard for you to create in secret?

RE-entry is hard after STORY 2012

It’s normal but unsettling…

The period of time when we return to normal life after an event such as a conference or gathering. The Story Conference in Chicago is just that sort of thing.

I woke up today with a palpable need to self-soothe. The stress of travel, new surroundings, increased interactions, imparted wisdom, and stimulation overload unearthed deeper pain.

Creativity and pain hold hands. Did you know that?

The one helps the other and vice versa.

Interactions and creative energy revive us at a wonderful conference like STORY, but the let down happens just afterwards, and we scarcely feel ready for it.

Pain surfaces after our experiences and without the tools to do well with it, and the spiritual friendship and mentoring to make sense of it (a.k.a. SOUL CARE), we can make poor decisions or fail to thrive in the aftermath of something so initially nourishing.

You’ll find yourself doing what I’ve done:

Distracting yourself (be it with tech, food, friends, or hobbies)

withdrawing (disconnecting from others)

feeling angry or discontent (do I really need to explain this???…GEEEZE! …er….whoops)

The inspiration shifts to frustration or let down. 

But this is the time when divine stirrings are greatest. Spiritual companionship is a way to work through this time and grow. It can be a time of hope instead of confusion or awkwardness.

What are some of the emotions you feel in the days after a great and uplifting event?

If you’re interested learn more about spiritual guidance here. Or find a director/companion near you using the directory here.

Last day of #STORY, Phil Vischer (a.k.a. “Bob the Tomato”)

It’s hard to absorb everything that I’ve seen and experienced here at the STORY conference  in Chicago. It’s a festival and experience punctuated with poignant presentations. I plan to have a day of silence just to process and pray.

Phil Vischer the founder of Big Idea and the voice of “Bob the Tomato” was the final presenter. His story was one of being miserable when he thought he had gotten what he wanted. He wanted to be the next Walt Disney, but he got stress. With success came a lawsuit that killed his Big Idea.

 

It turns out God wants us to change more than he cares about all the things we can do for him. All our talents and ideas even when they are noble and good aren’t as important as becoming who God wants us to be which is radically different than we are now.

The journey is never what we expect, and I wonder if living in the moment is closer to what we should do. A trust that is child-like in presentation. Expectant but not begrudging.

I think I should try to ee ready to say “yes” to God in whatever way big or small that is occurring at the time. Going with the flow…like a Jellyfish. (Phil said that his new company name “Jellyfish Labs” reflects this principle, because jellyfish go squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down, but the they are helpless to move another way. They must go where the current takes them.)

What a learning process life is. We think it’s more than squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down. We get to re-learn that a million times.

It takes being ruined or broken or ill to get us to that point sometimes. I think of my beloved Old Testament Professor who claimed true the same thing that Phil did. Talented in languages, he had big plans of making the Bible accessible, especially old testament law, which is always misunderstood and mistranslated. What great and ambitious goal. But he got very ill, and has battled illness and almost died many times in 3 decades since that time.

Is God keeping him at a certain spot? Just squishy-squishy up and squishy-squishy down, and hanging on to God for each moment and each day.

How will your Story end?

I can tell you this: It’s going to be a surprise. And that’s the point.

Thursday at #STORY2012

QUICK update from STORY….

I just heard Erwin McManis speak and it was honest and powerful. Some of us had to overlook his 3 slighting comments toward the feminine. Nerves?

I’m still not quite sure why his son (Aaron?) was featured on stage in an Oprah-like segment. You can’t even google him.

He spoke about finding pain in the process of creating and what he learned from it. Success was harder to handle than failure.

This is maybe why he makes handbags now?

So many fascinating people and creative types all over. Also more skinny jeans than you can shake a stick at!

The photo is of a steam puck style bike. It’s a festival atmosphere here.

I’m pretty excited about Anne Lamott, I must say.

Check my facebook and youtube for more.

How to pack for STORY2012: the adventure begins!

Here’s my first video of my STORY 2012 adventure in Chicago: packing.

It’s an introduction and a few packing tips I’ve picked up along the way. (Perhaps the only usable skill I gained as a kid from a divorced home. Thanks mom and dad!)

Most videos from my journey this week will go straight to the special youtube channel (for this and other adventures), and not be posted here on the blog. So, after today get the latest news and adventure in video form when you go here.

I’ll post updates and include videos and photos on my twitter and Facebook outlets.