What do you wish others knew about you?
Do you ever wonder if others really know you? (The real you)
If one tries for positive personal P.R. (public relations) it’s a sure way to find disaster of some kind. There’s nothing like the awkwardness of hearing someone spin their own outlook or circumstances to clue us into that person’s obvious desperation.
“I’m a good (or cool, or smart) person; please like me.”
Yet, most of us wonder if others misunderstand us, or really know us at a core level. Some of us have come to assume few, if any, do.
I’ve been watching Anne of Green Gables…on old skool VHS tapes (originals from 1985)!
In that series of stories, there’s a lot of talk about “kindred spirits” and “bosom friends.” There’s much mention that Anne and others desire and cherish these sorts of relatioships–best friends who know you and love you. People who just “get you” and hope to spend time with you. People who seek you out, and love you at your most unlovable times.
I’ve been fortunate to have friends like these, but I can’t say that contemporary culture makes it likely. I find a number of potential kindred spirits won’t take the time to get to the deeper stage of so-called “bosom friends” (best of friends). Life is busy, and accomplishing things–rather than knowing and loving others– becomes paramount. And I think insecurity can short-curcuit the whole thing too, causing some of us to sabotage these depths, because of the emotional risk and the complicated consequences. Relationships, even the best ones, are messy and nuanced things.
This time of year is always reflective for me, as it is for many. Most of the time I think about the good and bad from the past year, and my hopes for the new year coming. But this year (now), it’s different. I’m thinking about friendships (and relationships). Ones I’ve had in high school, college, grad school, and other dimensions of adult life. It’s actually far more disappointing lately than I’d like to admit. If I would have to pick up and move away from my location, I wonder what or who I would miss. Far too little, I’m afraid. And that is something to ponder a bit more, and endeavor to change, if time allows.
Do you ever think about your lack of “bosom friends”?
(Comments can be placed anonymously, if you choose.)
What do you wish others knew about you?
What do you hope for in your relationships that is not happening?