I had a great chat with Alise Wright and we talked about her upcoming book project Not Afraid. Plus, we talk a bit about a few other things like marriage equality and Mark Driscoll’s new polemic book “Real Marriage” (and I may need to offer some bonus video material on that insightful stuff); can men and women be friends (best of friends, even when they are married to other people); and Alise’s upcoming personal work in keeping with her calling.
Tag: best friends
Of Bullies & 5 Clues that Your Dictatorship is Ending
I have to be very honest with all of you today. I’m REALLY struggling.
I’m reeling from some awful news about a man who’s been going to our church. The article is here, but be aware, it makes for horrid reading if you’re a parent, or have a heart for children.
Everyone is heartily nauseated by this series of events, and plenty of people hope he dies, or is tortured, etc. As sick as this makes me, I continue to wonder where redemption and restoration can be found for all involved. What would God have us do? My heart feels broken.
I ask you to stop, right now, and pray for all involved.
Abuses of authority rank at the top of things I loathe, and I’ve seen it in many varieties that I won’t go into right now. I just cannot seem to get a handle on this situation, right now. I couldn’t sleep last night, and I’ve been wondering just how many young people have been hurt by this person, or those like him.
Sadly, the statics are so high, it’s likely there are more abusers that just haven’t been caught, within our fellowship and community–but I pray not. The trouble is, like rape, child molestation is one of the most underreported crimes. The FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin states that only 1-10% are ever disclosed. Please, read that again, and let it sink in.
Kids like my disabled son, and shy children, are prime targets. And hearing about it all, so close to home, makes my blood run cold, and prompts me to action to defend and protect the innocent.
A FEW FAST FACTS that you should know:
• 96% of these types of abusers are male, and the average pedophile knows the victim, and molests 260 victims during their lifetime.
(I’m not trying to condemn a gender, but seriously…what the heck?!)
• All have a fascination with pornography. Please! Read that again. Now, think: how easy is it to get a hold of that, and feed the monster? Rates of abuse are skyrocketing, with no end in site. If you struggle with this issue, and pornography is in your life. Get. help. now.
Pornography is a gateway poison, that leads to a diseased mind and criminality. We need to come forward, and be honest about just how detrimental it is for all sectors of our society.
• The behavior is highly repetitive, to the point of compulsion, rather than resulting from a lack of judgment.
Um. wow.
And here the other fast facts from that source.
For now,
I’m going to channel my energies in this post to opposing and satirizing Dictators, because that’s about all I can do without crying, at the moment. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and varieties, but they have the same basic qualities.
My choice today is Muammar Muhammad al-Gaddafi, who’s a bit dim witted. Bullies thrive with creating fear, dictators especially so. When the fear is diminished, hope flourishes; and many will struggle to the death to gain freedom.
Here are 5 Clues Gaddafi could use to extend his life. But, I really hope he never reads this.
1. Realize the importance of shoes. Sure, women, for millennia, have valued shoes, but in the middle east, the bottom of one’s shoe is considered vile. If posters of you are getting whacked with shoes, your time is running out. You are considered lower than dirt, and probably for good reason.
2. Calling Yourself a Martyr Doesn’t seem to hold any sway. When Gaddafi said, “I cannot leave my country, I will die a martyr,” it probably told his opposition he really just “didn’t get it”, right? Or, maybe martyr in Arabic means “fool”.
3. Your Fancy Hats Cease to Charm People. Nothing says coo-coo like a stupid hat worn by a sociopath. This has never been more true. You folks from Reedsville know just what I mean.
4. Your Putting on of Aires is Lamentable. If you pretend you are Lawrence of Arabia and try to imitate his wardrobe, disaster is probably in your future. Really Gaddafi is decades overdue.
5. If your best friends are dictators, the signs look bad. Palling around with other known dictators isn’t just in poor taste, it shows to your “subjects” that you root for the bad guys, which includes yourself. Try to not be retarded, if possible.
Thank you for hanging on with me, and reading this today.
I’m sorry it’s bizarre. Too many sad things all at once I suppose.
-Lisa
Let me help you…
(photo courtesy of the Ellen DeGeneres facebook page)
To me this photo says…
If you find it’s hard to talk about something, a good friend will help you in any way she can.
Your turn–
CAPTION PLEASE
If people only knew…
What do you wish others knew about you?
Do you ever wonder if others really know you? (The real you)
If one tries for positive personal P.R. (public relations) it’s a sure way to find disaster of some kind. There’s nothing like the awkwardness of hearing someone spin their own outlook or circumstances to clue us into that person’s obvious desperation.
“I’m a good (or cool, or smart) person; please like me.”
Yet, most of us wonder if others misunderstand us, or really know us at a core level. Some of us have come to assume few, if any, do.
I’ve been watching Anne of Green Gables…on old skool VHS tapes (originals from 1985)!
In that series of stories, there’s a lot of talk about “kindred spirits” and “bosom friends.” There’s much mention that Anne and others desire and cherish these sorts of relatioships–best friends who know you and love you. People who just “get you” and hope to spend time with you. People who seek you out, and love you at your most unlovable times.
I’ve been fortunate to have friends like these, but I can’t say that contemporary culture makes it likely. I find a number of potential kindred spirits won’t take the time to get to the deeper stage of so-called “bosom friends” (best of friends). Life is busy, and accomplishing things–rather than knowing and loving others– becomes paramount. And I think insecurity can short-curcuit the whole thing too, causing some of us to sabotage these depths, because of the emotional risk and the complicated consequences. Relationships, even the best ones, are messy and nuanced things.
This time of year is always reflective for me, as it is for many. Most of the time I think about the good and bad from the past year, and my hopes for the new year coming. But this year (now), it’s different. I’m thinking about friendships (and relationships). Ones I’ve had in high school, college, grad school, and other dimensions of adult life. It’s actually far more disappointing lately than I’d like to admit. If I would have to pick up and move away from my location, I wonder what or who I would miss. Far too little, I’m afraid. And that is something to ponder a bit more, and endeavor to change, if time allows.
Do you ever think about your lack of “bosom friends”?
(Comments can be placed anonymously, if you choose.)
What do you wish others knew about you?
What do you hope for in your relationships that is not happening?
Best Friends
What is a memorable thing a friend has done for you?
Quotes on friendship:
Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.
Muhammad Ali
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Aristotle
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
Robert Brault
The language of friendship is not words but meanings.
Henry David Thoreau
Yes’m, old friends is always best, ‘less you can catch a new one that’s fit to make an old one out of.
Sarah Orne Jewett
You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri Nouwen
We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
Joseph Roux
Tell a friend you appreciate him or her today.
Share your thoughts on friendship…