Not dying in an EPIC PIZZA Fail.

package design varies in 14 years
1997 crust

What happens when you eat 14 year old pizza crust from Betty Crocker? We found out.

On January 1, 2011, in a short series of unfortunate events, my husband prepared a Betty Crocker pizza crust from a mix. It turned out terribly. We couldn’t figure out why. It was paper thin, and stuck so badly to the pan that it seemed to only come off in stamp-sized pieces, not to mention being brittle and tasteless.

I forced it down, and after the kids bemoaned their meal, I, being a proper mom, I had them finish most of it–by decree. It was only after I saw the varying package design of some just-bought Betty Crocker pizza crust, did suspect something was amiss. That little wave of electric panic fear went around on my back. This could be a long night in the bathroom, I thought.

Soon, it seemed clear that we ingested 14 year old crust mix from 1997. There was no expiration date visable on any package, but there were copyright dates. The new ones said ©2009. [Obviously the old one read ©1997.] Gulp. This was bad news. Really bad news. This is nearly double the age of my daughter. Who eats food twice their age, and gets away with it? Okay, babies. But who else?

The thought was sickening, but oddly the meal wasn’t, in a true sense. We were all fine. No harm done.

4 Proposals:
1. Betty Crocker Pizza crust is not food.
2. God spared us (because sometimes he’s wacky like that.)
3. Pizza crust couldn’t hurt us, even if it was 50 years old…’cause that’s how p.c. rolls.
4. We’ve just realized we are the real life version of  “No Ordinary Family”
Do you have any ideas?

It was a mysterious way to start the new year, and things have only gotten stranger since.

What the oldest thing you’ve eaten recently?
Or…What’s the strangest thing that’s happened to you so far this year?


Yes, I have a fan page.

Welcome Schuylkill & Berks News readers (SBN- Facebook link). (Related to my column: If you have good traveling tips, please leave them in the comments section.)

Some of you have been wondering if you can “LIKE” me.

This is perfectly understandable.

You have a battle raging within…or maybe you don’t know what I’m talking about…or both…

Um. So.

We all like to be well-liked, but in this case, if you haven’t figured, I’m speaking about Facebook. It’s a so-called fan page. Even though I’m not my biggest fan, in a desperate attempt at self-actualization, I created my own fan page. Pathetic. I know. But wait.

If I could have changed the name to “Fun page” I would have. It’s really all Facebook’s fault. It’s not vanity. You would do the same thing, if you were backed into a corner. And what a corner…

What if, you’re Not on Facebook?
very bad. Your punishment is to leave a comment explaining why. :)

OKAY! I just snapped, a little. Sorry ’bout that. (See why spiritual practices are indispensable? Imagine if I didn’t do them. Yes. We’d all be sorry.) Um. Yes. Where were we?

Right. The Page Facebook page called “Triple Dog Dare” is my way to connect with friends, fans, and the random person who likes to read something humorous.

(Image yourself holding a full pail of funny…See, you’ll love it.)

Click a photo below to get there; and remember, I love you, more than cheddar cheese, despite its power, and I mean that!

If you “Like” and “Share” to your FB page, I’ll leave you a witty quip on your Wall, and you’ll actually like it, (Help me know who you are, and/or confirm you did this, right here, or on my Facebook wall).

Happy Autumn, ya’ll.

-Lisa