In our darkest moments it’s difficult to shake the feeling of aloneness. God may seem so hidden.
In those worst times several things have helped me devotionally and/or spiritually. One of them is the power of community. I use the strength and prayers of others as my own. I may read (and pray) the lamenting scriptures (like Psalms) when I feel too spiritually dry or weary to pray. I agree with the prayers of others for me and hold those prayers in my heart. When I can’t find the words, or feel the feelings I’d like to I share in the source and inheritance of the community of Believers for strength that is beyond grasp for me alone.
Today, I am listing two resources that are very helpful for this. Maybe you know someone in the middle of a dark, weary, or dry time. Maybe you are there yourself. You may feel quite alone. Strangely, that feeling itself can teach us. Since God’s presence is everywhere, that potent sense of alienation that overtakes our heart can refine in us the faith that does not come through our senses. We can have a “knowing place” even if we feel otherwise numb.
The first resource book is a collection of stories from people who have felt alone in the throes of depression. Together, they harmonize in a chorus of hope, and in the reality of the provision of our Creator. I think you will appreciate their entires.
The second resource is one I’m reading now. I’ll include a few quotes, I’ve read recently, to give you a sense of the power of this book–both for understanding or ministering to those suffering from the pain of mental illness, or for a tether of grace sustaining your hope for a brighter day in recovery from your present darkness.
Forgetfulness deprives our consciousness of great solace…my memories give me hope. p 90
Any coherence in the midst of chaos, any sense in the midst of nonsense, in the work of God. p110
…[W]e really have to admit that all our love and all our hopes are ultimately borrowed for God anyway. p116
Please share your thoughts.
Do you have a song of lament today in your heart? You have permission to share it here.
Psalm 10
1 O Lord, why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide when I am in trouble?
2 The wicked arrogantly hunt down the poor.
Let them be caught in the evil they plan for others.
3 For they brag about their evil desires;
they praise the greedy and curse the Lord.4 The wicked are too proud to seek God.
They seem to think that God is dead.
5 Yet they succeed in everything they do.
They do not see your punishment awaiting them.
They sneer at all their enemies.
6 They think, “Nothing bad will ever happen to us!
We will be free of trouble forever!”7 Their mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats.[a]
Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues.
8 They lurk in ambush in the villages,
waiting to murder innocent people.
They are always searching for helpless victims.
9 Like lions crouched in hiding,
they wait to pounce on the helpless.
Like hunters they capture the helpless
and drag them away in nets.
10 Their helpless victims are crushed;
they fall beneath the strength of the wicked.
11 The wicked think, “God isn’t watching us!
He has closed his eyes and won’t even see what we do!”12 Arise, O Lord!
Punish the wicked, O God!
Do not ignore the helpless!
13 Why do the wicked get away with despising God?
They think, “God will never call us to account.”
14 But you see the trouble and grief they cause.
You take note of it and punish them.
The helpless put their trust in you.
You defend the orphans.
I don’t personally have a struggle with depression, but having known people personally who have been in the midst of it, I’ve seen how they can get frustrated. It’s hard to know how to help. Thanks for sharing this post. Just reading how you process this helps me enter that world a bit more.
I wrote about this in my post from last month “Our We a Lamenting Church?” (http://everydayliturgy.com/are-we-a-lamenting-church/) Tragedy does not move away quickly…the damage takes a long time to heal.
I think lamenting is a step in the healing process that people often overlook. Our culture tells us that you should edify yourself and do things to make yourself happy again (like buy clothes or take a vacation). But going that route skips the really important step of mourning or lamenting.
I’ll check back soon with a link to a lament.
I dunno if you’ve ever read or heard of “The Vally of Vision”, a collection of Puritan prayers… some pretty amazing stuff. Here’s one called “Peril”
Sovereign Commander of the universe,
I am sadly harassed by doubts, fears, unbelief,in a felt spiritual darkness.My heart is full of evil surmisings and disquietude,and I cannot act faith at all.My heavenly Pilot has disappeared,and I have lost my hold on the Rock of Ages;I sink in deep mire beneath storms and waves,in horror and distress unutterable.Help me, O Lord,to throw myself absolutely and wholly on thee,for better, for worse, without comfort,and all but hopeless.Give me peace of soul, confidence, enlargementof mind,morning joy that comes after night heaviness;Water my soul richly with divine blessings;Grant that I may welcome thy humbling in privateso that I might enjoy thee in public;Give me a mountain top as high as the valley is low.Thy grace can melt the worst sinner, and I amas vile as he;Yet thou hast made me a monument of mercy,a trophy of redeeming power;In my distress let me not forget this.All-wise God,Thy never-failing providence orders every event,sweetens every fear,reveals evil’s presence lurking in seeming good,brings real good out of seeming evil,makes unsatisfactory what I set my heart upon,to show me what a short-sighted creature I am,and to teach me to live by faith uponthy blessed self.Out of my sorrow and nightgive me the name Naphtali –‘satisfied with favour’ –help me to love thee as thy child,and to walk worthy of my heavenly pedigree.
Lisa, thanks so much for linking up Not Alone! As you say, it is a great resource, and I am humbled and honored to have added my voice to the chorus.
I really like the notion of making other’s prayers my own during the dry times.
Many blessings to you!
I, too, love the pray the Psalms as my own prayers. I have been doing it for a while, and I am even more motivated in that direction since reading the Eric Metaxas biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer powerfully and finally ticked off the Nazi government by writing a book on the subject of praying the Psalms. He continued to pray the Psalms fervently and repeatedly to the end of his life.
Recently I was made aware of a young couple who were suffering uncertainty and worry because of symptoms of a problem with the wife’s pregnancy. As I prayed through Psalm 16 on their behalf, I came upon these words:
As for the holy ones in the land, they are the noble,
in whom is all my delight.
Those who choose another god multiply their sorrows;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names upon my lips. Psalm 16:3,4
I realized as I read those words that it is easy to trust science (another god) and reject God when illness and death are the issues. Science has machines and tests and reports and analysis. Yet science knows only in part. God alone knows the whole truth. The doctor, the noble one, is God’s servant for the well-being of the mother and baby. I pray for him to serve God and be blessed with God’s wisdom as he uses the information science provides.
The Psalms cover the gamut of human experience. Praying the Psalms is a powerful way to grow in faith.