Tag: grief

Debbie Downer and Christmas Lament

“It’s Christmas, lighten up! You’re such a ‘Debbie Downer‘!” someone said.

(Not to me, but I was in the throes of lament and just stared in shock wondering what would happen next. Would someone throw a punch, or would the named just wither in shame?)

The Joy and Rescue we are given in the Incarnation, celebrated at Christmas, should banish all pains and sorrow…..er….not so fast!

Lament and Joy always seem to pair off together. Strangely so.

Or Maybe not.

Perhaps because one doesn’t make sense without the other. Joy is chased by sorrow, and sorrow by Joy. Anyone with a choke hold on gladness is probably on drugs, uppers, of course. Can the words “choke hold” be paired with gladness?

Well, that’s my point.

I see a lot of pushiness to “bring Christmas back” and be glad because it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but that feels like a choke hold to me.

I need what I need. God will comfort me when I need it, and be in my Joy when that’s where I am. I’m not sure how I’ll feel today or when family pours in and presents go flying.

That’s what time of year it is!

My Debbie Downer Prayer:

Oh, Lord,

Thank you for the gift of your Son in a manger.

Be with me when I don’t feel this joy in my salvation, 

Give me the comfort of your steadfast love.

For those who are tormented, for those who have sorrow or grief,

For those whose burdens and hope deferred are strong enough

To keep under wraps amidst the cheer, be their hope in trail.

Hear their cries and laments

Salve them with your good Spirit 

Be their Shepherd and Deliverer

Show them you love them, whether they feel happy or not.

Amen.
Here’s some Debbie Downer for you.

2 More Things of Note:

THE CADRE. For those of you who’d like a friendship upgrade or a small group of people to help you through your next project, please check out the section above that reads “The Cadre” to find out what’s coming February 2013. It’s already in the works and promises to be 12 months of blessing. Spots are limited, and just a few remain.

To get the heads up about free download days of all my books and other nifty news, once in a while, sign up to my newsletter in the right column.

Interviewing my favorite undertaker: Caleb Wilde

I’ve appreciated Caleb Wilde’s blog for quite a while now. It could be my own experience with grief, suffering, and the dying process that makes Caleb’s sentiments on death and unique perspective a kind of solace to me.

If death and dying has touched your world, I think you’ll feel the same way about his blog. If it hasn’t, at some point it will. That’s just the facts.

Speaking from experience, I suggest purposefully familiarizing yourself with the inevitable issues of mortality (your own and your loved ones’) before they arrive without warning and manage to capsize your world, crush your faith, or in some other way batter you. And for purposes of minister and soul care it’s quite helpful too.

This is part one of our chat. Check back this week for part 2.

(click for video)

Read my Guest Post on “Confessions of a Funeral Director” blog (Caleb Wilde)

Thank you so much for stopping by today.

It’s a really big day for me, for at least 3 reasons…hold up! 5 Reasons. (I just found out it’s The Year of the Dragon starting today AND National Pie day. Eating pie like a dragon seems like the proper thing to do and Very exciting!)

Here’s 3 more reasons.

1. Author Shawn Smucker’s interview is now live, it’s awesome, and it’s the first of two parts (see the previous post).

2. Doomsday debunker and writer of a bunch of books, Jason Boyett, posted the pre-lease of his interview with me about his fun (yes I said fun) Doomsday book. For now, it’s only available at his site, here, (and it’s unlisted on youtube until that goes live, on January 30th to the general public).

Since it’s time-sensitive info…go ahead and get the word out! (We might only have 11 more months before ultimate doom and annilation, so be a darling and help some people not freak out, k?)

3. I have a guest post at Confessions of a Funeral Director. No, I’m not a funeral director, but it is a kind of confession.

Please stop by and read my deathly guest post at Caleb’s poignant site. He’s, by far, my favorite undertaker. And I mean that!

And check back for a fascinating Ninja Interview with Caleb which will be up soon.

“Not Alone”: Autumn and Mental Illness (Part III)

In our darkest moments it’s difficult to shake the feeling of aloneness. God may seem so hidden.

In those worst times several things have helped me devotionally and/or spiritually. One of them is the power of community. I use the strength and prayers of others as my own. I may read (and pray) the lamenting scriptures (like Psalms) when I feel too spiritually dry or weary to pray. I agree with the prayers of others for me and hold those prayers in my heart. When I can’t find the words, or feel the feelings I’d like to I share in the source and inheritance of the community of Believers for strength that is beyond grasp for me alone.

Today, I am listing two resources that are very helpful for this. Maybe you know someone in the middle of a dark, weary, or dry time. Maybe you are there yourself. You may feel quite alone. Strangely, that feeling itself can teach us. Since God’s presence is everywhere, that potent sense of alienation that overtakes our heart can refine in us the faith that does not come through our senses. We can have a “knowing place” even if we feel otherwise numb.

The first resource book is a collection of stories from people who have felt alone in the throes of depression. Together, they harmonize in a chorus of hope, and in the reality of the provision of our Creator. I think you will appreciate their entires.

The second resource is one I’m reading now. I’ll include a few quotes, I’ve read recently, to give you a sense of the power of this book–both for understanding or ministering to those suffering from the pain of mental illness, or for a tether of grace sustaining your hope for a brighter day in recovery from your present darkness.

Forgetfulness deprives our consciousness of great solace…my memories give me hope.  p 90

Any coherence in the midst of chaos, any sense in the midst of nonsense, in the work of God. p110

…[W]e really have to admit that all our love and all our hopes are ultimately borrowed for God anyway. p116

Please share your thoughts.

Do you have a song of lament today in your heart? You have permission to share it here.

Psalm 10

1 O Lord, why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide when I am in trouble?
2 The wicked arrogantly hunt down the poor.
Let them be caught in the evil they plan for others.
3 For they brag about their evil desires;
they praise the greedy and curse the Lord.

4 The wicked are too proud to seek God.
They seem to think that God is dead.
5 Yet they succeed in everything they do.
They do not see your punishment awaiting them.
They sneer at all their enemies.
6 They think, “Nothing bad will ever happen to us!
We will be free of trouble forever!”

7 Their mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats.[a]
Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues.
8 They lurk in ambush in the villages,
waiting to murder innocent people.
They are always searching for helpless victims.
9 Like lions crouched in hiding,
they wait to pounce on the helpless.
Like hunters they capture the helpless
and drag them away in nets.
10 Their helpless victims are crushed;
they fall beneath the strength of the wicked.
11 The wicked think, “God isn’t watching us!
He has closed his eyes and won’t even see what we do!”

12 Arise, O Lord!
Punish the wicked, O God!
Do not ignore the helpless!
13 Why do the wicked get away with despising God?
They think, “God will never call us to account.”
14 But you see the trouble and grief they cause.
You take note of it and punish them.
The helpless put their trust in you.
You defend the orphans.

On missing Steve Jobs

I knew Steve Jobs was going to die, so I’m not surprised. But, I am saddened. The departure of such a pivot human being so effecting to the way many of us live everyday is a profound event. What a creative mind. How innovative. What a gift we had.

MacIntosh, Pixar, iPod…and so on probably touched your world too.

The man had 317 patents (see a list and visuals here), and forever altered not just personal computing, but telephone communication, media, the music industry, computer animation/movies, and how we encounter the internet. There’s an App for everything, but now there is no App for missing him. iMourn was the headline on one major online news source, and worldwide Twitter Trends yesterday and today included #ThankYouSteveJobs, #iSad, #ThinkDifferent, #Pixar and more in tribute to him.

I remember using the 1984 MacIntosh, the first product to make Personal Computers truly accessible to regular people. The first Mac I could buy myself was a 7100, with money from a school loan. Graphic Designers are schooled on Macs. We enjoy Apple products. We get loyal, and admire the continual creativity and innovation of a man and a company that doesn’t settle or rely on pilfering products and ideas from other companies to keep going. One word describes Jobs, and really a large part of the American spirit: Innovation!

My prayers go to his family and friends. He leaves behind his wife of 20 years, Laurene, and their 3 children: Reed, Erin, and Eve.

He will be very missed by a great many around the globe.

Do you have a favorite Apple product? What was one of your first experiences like with an Apple product?

I thank you to share your feelings or comments about the passing of Steve Jobs.