It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas….everywhere you go.
Here’s some things I didn’t think I’d say at Christmastime…
“No! Honey, take little baby Jesus out of your mouth and put him back!”
“Yes, he looks like candy, but keep him in the hay. That’s his bed.”
“No Jesus didn’t eat ham for Christmas dinner, I’m sure of it.”
“I wonder why Santa smells like that.”
“That’s garland. It looks tasty, and yes it’s pretty, but it’s not for eating.”
“Yes, if our house was made of candy we might have more cavities.”
“Does that costume ever get washed?”
“No, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph never rode a train.”
“If I see another man wearing mistletoe on his belt, I think I’m going to freak out.”
“Honey, I don’t know why the girl elf has almost no clothes on when she’s from the north pole. It is weird.”
“No, we won’t be using Raisinets to show that reindeer were nearby.”
“Yes, the woman singing Santa-Baby sounds like a cat. I think that’s on purpose.”
“Santa wasn’t one of the wise men, and he didn’t get anything for baby Jesus’ birthday. That came later.”
“No, The Three Magi is not a group Nikki Minaj was in.”
“Why does that elf look like he’s in the mafia?”
“There was no Round John Burgeon at the stable. He wasn’t a shepherd . It’s ’round yon virgin’, not Round John Burgeon….”
“I don’t know why candy canes stick to the backs of sweaters so much.”
“The angel wasn’t named Harold, and he didn’t have a harp. It’s “Hark, with a “k”, which sort of means “listen”, and it’s “herald” which means “a messenger”…oh nevermind.”
“Yes, sweetie, I know a lot of people do smell like cough medicine at Christmastime.”
Feel free to add your own in the comments section!
(If you had a chuckle, will you please tweet it up? Spread the good cheer.)