personal growth Archives - Page 11 of 12 - Lisa Colón DeLay

Our reactions betray us

roar

At first blush we might assume circumstances cause our reactions. I say circumstances betray us more than the situation in which we find ourselves. Our amounts of self-control, maturity, self-awareness, compassion, humility, are revealed on the proving ground of life, in the difficult situations, and oddly enough, in the successful times.

So, when someone is raging, icing over a cold shoulder, or enjoying a lot of self-satisfaction, it really reflects his or her character more than anything else. We can consider how circumstances undermine our best, and enslave us. They can also be opportunity to grow, and know who you are in reality, so you can focus on those very areas for growth and betterment.

Embrace the challenge.
Release yourself from your reactions.

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Confusing God with the dad you got

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It’s amazing the gut level response of people with problems against God, and those who believe in him, who fail to see how much their over-reaction gives them away.

God isn’t a man in the sky. He isn’t a “he”. “He” doesn’t pee on people, he doesn’t zap people, stand around glaring, or torching people. He doesn’t sleep through disasters, get kicks from evil acts, or remain aloof when humans encounter poverty, disease, or suffering. It’s a bit more complex.

This view is quite common, but also quite infantile as view of the spiritual of reality. However, we all begin somewhere. Essentially, the problem of understanding something–like the spiritual nature of existence, and a supreme Creator,–which is beyond the scope of eyesight, earshot, etc. and our full comprehension, involves first letting go of the physical assumptions we cling to. We continually thrust these suppositions on how the world MUST be and work, from our human-ego standpoint.

No, one cannot “prove God” with weights and measures. One can’t prove ideals either, but hardly anyone is ridiculous enough to toss those away. Is anyone going to toss out ultimate Justice? What about Truth? Or Beauty? Or Goodness? Or Hope? Are they just fiction? Well, we can’t really prove them. If we take them away, a black hole is created, right in the middle of us, and what we hold dear. It’s nihilism. It assures its adherents that there is no point to existing, and many of its true loyalists end up killing themselves. Its not exactly a philosophy for bettering the world, and making it a happier and more beneficial place.

But just look around. One can’t waste the gift of life like that. Yes, it’s short, and pain and turmoil are found in many spots, but there is beauty and joy to be found as well. There is goodness, and one can do good. There is redemption, and hope. There are people to love and help. And, in the end, God, in a sense, “looks” like the dad everyone wished they had, as we carry out love in Spirit. But, yet “he’s” Other and not really like a human after all.

Reader response invitation…

Did you have a good dad, a good enough dad, or a crap-tastic one?

enjoying God

If one begins to study ancient pagan deities, and what was required for proper worship, it seems a poignant attribute comes to the surface. Pagan gods needed a lot of service from humans, and much was required to appease them. In stark contrast, the Treaty of Sinai set up an agreement, of asking very little of its loyalists, by comparison. Every thing from sacrifices making one ready for priestly participation, to tributes, to honor requirements to their Sovereign were truly turned upside down.

For example, all regional deities had huge temples for themselves, some up to a mile long. God’s temple for many years occupied the size of five car lengths by three car lengths. (puny) It wasn’t made from exotic materials, but worshipers could dismantle the tent structure, and reassemble it at a new spot. Very Convenient. Fit for the God of the universe? God thought so. He’s what you would call the modest type. Regional gods demanded temple prostitutes, infant, toddler, and virgin sacrifices, and that humans degrade themselves in all kinds of ways to secure the god’s position as ruler. God forbade any such things, and protected his people from degrading themselves for him, or with each other. Their clothes were even fashioned with tassels to resemble a priestly class, no matter what their clan or economic status was. This was to honor them as treasures and royalty. Again, a role reversal. Regional gods demanded literally hundreds of sacrifices per day of expensive animals to stay in their good graces. God asked for one per year for the whole nation as a tribute. Most “animal sacrifices” required throughout the year consisted of burning a bit of animal fat, giving a slice of the meat to the priest to enjoy who’s been the butcher, and having the rest for a BBQ picnic with family and friends. Very enjoyable. The list goes on and on.

This really shows us something that should sink in deep, today. The character of God isn’t one that is demanding that we serve him. It may please him when when do, but that’s not at all the point. It seems we are here so he might serve, and honor us. How sweet and gracious! He seems to want us to enjoy life, (working and playing) enjoy “him,” and enjoy each other. We are not slaves to him, like property or indentured servants, and were never suppose to be. It is a relationship of respect and regard, mutually–when we understand it rightly.

He really offers us a life of emotional enjoyment and relaxation in knowing he loves us. Sometimes with this in mind, it makes the perception of a burden, the one we’ve strapped on ourselves, melt away, and we can begin to love and yield our whole lives and heart to God in a new way.

How to: Change Dead Ends

Does your life feel like this image sometimes? Maybe now? Here is a road that is signaling both a Dead End, but also a No-U-Turn sign too. It’s a tough spot to be in, and we’ve all been there. That sinking feeling washes over us, and we start to think, “It might not get better.”

Maybe you’ve thought, “Is this all there is?” What do we do to resolve feelings or circumstances that seem just like the situation illustrated above?

Reframing. Reframing is pulling one’s self out of a situation, mentally, long enough to find a new perspective that changes how one will cope and adjust to the circumstance at hand. When it seems dire, one can always find a new way to see it. It’s a decision of the mind, not the feelings. Later, we find that our feelings will follow.

It’s like the story of the two children who were sent to clean rooms entirely filled with awful manure. One saw the mess, and all at once sank into despair, the other got to work happily, why? She said, “With all this poop, there has to be a pony around here somewhere!”

But what about a Dead End, No-U-Turn situation? Can something like reframing really help, when it seems that desperate? What then? Then, you tear down the signs. You challenge the very premise. Should the signs really be there? Who put up the signs? Was it you? Your parents? Someone else? Society? Was that proper, and should they come down? Who says it’s a true Dead End? Who says No-U-Turns?

Look for new options, unseen possibilities, and new ways to find hope, renewal, and paths to a better place. Treasure hunt for them. It may take time, help from others, concentration/prayer, sweat, and tears, but that’s how a person makes a game-changing move. That’s how you change the road on which you travel, and the scenery you are seeing.

How have you changed your scenery?
What would you like to change right now?

chime in : )

Ways of Examen for greater fulfillment

The practice of Examen (pronounced: EGGS-aye-men) brings our living and our growth into focus. It helps us see God, (and the Divine presence) in our day, and/or helps us see far more meaning in our day than we could by merely living without really noticing.

For me, the practice of Examen has sometimes turned self-critical, and produced guilt, instead of helped me see God and his encouragement. My spiritual director Lenoir Wible offered me her notes from her teacher, that are a more positive slant on the ways of Examen. It’s quite beneficial–even life-changing.

Remember God sings over you.

Give it a try for a week or so, and tell me if it’s helpful.
Have you ever tried the spiritual practice of Examen before?
(Chime in with your comments…)

Consciousness Examen

In the morning, upon awakening:
Ask The Divine, Light of the World, to walk with you throughout the day.In the evening, before sleep:
1. Briefly review your day.
2. Thank God for the specific gift of the day.
3. Celebrate God’s undefeated love at those moments of the day when you were loving or loved.
4. Celebrate God’s undefeated love at those moments when you were less than loving – and hear God say to you: “I know that and I love you!”
5. Ask yourself “What grace am I being invited to ask for?”
Ask!
“What would life look like were that grace given?
Sit with this and ponder the answer with prayerful thanksgiving