Lisa Colón DeLay

Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:

1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.

2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.

(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)

I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.

Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.

A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.

Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.

So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.

• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.

• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.

• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.

• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.

• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for others things.

# # #

When was the last time you got away?

 If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.

I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.

I’m onto another 9 week module in my Leadership studies program and this time the course is

Christians and Contemporary Spirituality

I took this course already in 2009 when getting my first Masters degree (I was concentrating on Spiritual Formation), but this time the starting point  is Leadership Studies and the required texts are different. I get to go deeper, and I love that.

To me, the transformation of one’s character is critical to the development of a Leader. Skills and proficiencies don’t matter too much to too many people if the Leader is immature, maladjusted, or just a big jerk. 

But learning about formation and seeking it are two different things. It takes intent, knowledge acquisition, and follow through to see progress. Miss any piece of that and you are wasting your time or someone else’s.

So, now the books are ordered and it seems I’m in for a treat! Here’s what I’ll be reading over the next 9 weeks.

These links can get you some great stuff quick!

Servant Leadership!

I’ve snagged another bit of classroom notes from my esteemed professor Dr Tim Valentino.

How about this for leadership studies!
(more on the program here)

It was simply too good to not share. Tim’s blog is here, if you’d like to read more from Tim. (You’ll enjoy that too!)

 Enter Tim:

“So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:4-5)

A powerful picture of authentic, servant leadership, which we considered last week.

But why does Jesus do such a humble, menial task? I think we have a hint in Luke’s account of the same event. In Luke 22 we learn that the Twelve come to this dinner arguing about who’s the greatest among them. It’s not the first time they’ve had this quarrel, but they sense that something big is going to happen this weekend, so the debate is re-opened.

“The kingdom of God is going to come,” they reason, “and Jesus is going to be the king. But who’s going to be his co-regent? Who’s going to be his secretary of state?” They argue about it. James and John had their mother weigh in on the matter months ago. Remember Salome? “Lord, grant that my sons will get to sit at your right and left in the kingdom.”

John says, “Hey, why not? I am, after all, the disciple whom Jesus loves.” Peter fumes and says, “Hold on, dude, who do you think Jesus gave the keys of the kingdom to? Me! Remember?” (O.k., that’s a paraphrase, but use your sanctified imagination to re-create the tussle!)

These guys aren’t wearing halos yet, and they’re certainly not ready for the stain-glass window. They fight, they argue, and they pick at each other. They can be carnal and fleshly like anybody else. And here in the upper room there’s real tension. But Jesus doesn’t scold them. He redirects them.

• You want to be great in my kingdom? Then you have to serve.
• You want to be first? Then you have to be last.
• You want to be highest? Then you have to be lowest.
• You want to be the most? Then you have to be the least.

And while they’re sitting there at that sacred feast, arguing about who’s the greatest, Jesus shows them what true greatness and true leadership look like.

In those days people wore open sandals—much like our flip flops. They didn’t wear socks. Most of the roads were not paved, so they walked on the hot dirt roads under the blazing Mideast sun—roads used by people and animals. Their feet would become hot, sweaty, sore, and covered in mud—maybe even animal dung, too.

Most people in our culture—even with a daily shower and “Fast-Actin’ Tinactin”— have nasty feet. The last thing anybody wants to do is clean somebody else’s. That was even truer in the first century.

At the low, U-shaped table where Jesus’ disciples recline, there are 24 dirty feet pin-wheeling out from the center—each one revealing a self-centered heart. (It’s not just their feet that are soiled.) Jesus takes off his outer garment. Bare-chested now, he wraps himself with a towel, just as a slave would do. And, grabbing the water jug and basin over by the door, God-in-human-flesh kneels down, takes the feet of the men he created, and begins to scrub them. He takes the dirt and dung off the feet of his own creatures.

Some kingdom.

Even Judas gets his feet washed—which is way over the top, don’t you think? If you knew that tonight was your last night, that tomorrow you were going to be executed, and that the guy setting it all up was in your cohort, would you have asked him to come over for dinner tonight? Would you have loved him, fed him, treated him with dignity, and then washed his crummy feet?

It’s hard to put ourselves into that scene. It’s one thing to be kind to our friends, but to be kind to our enemies—now, that’s a whole other level of kindness! How many of us would have poured the water over Judas’ head, and then whacked him in the face with the basin? (Thank God I’m not Jesus!)

But why does Jesus do it? Is Judas ever going to change? Is he ever going to repent? Is he ever going to love God in return? No! So why wash his feet? It’s not going to make a bit of difference. Pragmatically speaking, it’s not going to “work.”

So why do it? Jesus washes Judas’ feet because that’s what God is like.

God is slow to anger, abounding in love. God is patient and kind. God is scandalous in grace. And so is his Son, who has come to reveal the Father. So there in that upper room, Jesus washes the feet of the one who will betray him tonight, and arrange for his murder tomorrow.

It’s as if Jesus is saying, “I’m not scrubbing Judas’ feet for Judas; I’m scrubbing Judas’ feet for my Father. Judas may never appreciate this, but my Father does. Judas may never deserve this, but my Father does. I do this not because it will be successful or get noticed. I do this not because it will be a good investment of my time, energy, and emotions. I do this because God does feet. I do this because I lead by serving. I do this because I lead by loving.”

That’s the kingdom. And that’s our king. Amazing.

What can I do in response to such a scene but pray, “Jesus, reduce me to love.”

29 DAYS!

That’s all the time that’s left until a retreat I’m really excited to be a part of!

The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers is a very special weekend that mixes fellowship, community, expert writing insights, and an enriching spiritual experience. Ed Cyzewski and Kristin Tennant have put their heads together to create something important and lovely that will give you perspective and space to find refreshment and inspiration unlike any typical writing conference can. Let’s face it, you need this!

Whether you’re a seasoned writer who’d like some sacred space to learn, grow, and rejuvenate, or you are a part-time or aspiring writer who’d like to pursue a deeper calling, meet other writers, and hear from seasoned pros, this retreat will be a boon!

I’m personally extra excited that the beauty of nature, time for laughter, relationship building, super yummy, specially-cooked family style meals, and time for personal reflection or solitude is built-in from the onset. Some have even called this the retreat keeps the introvert in mind! (But I assure you extroverts, like me, will love it too.)

Breathe a sigh of relief! Instead, of just getting bombarded with great info or squeezing in networking between workshop breaks, this time (May 24-26) will have space built-in for you to connect, learn, and enjoy relaxation and times of quiet too. Heaven? Maybe.

We’ll be at the Trinity Lodge. An interior picture is shown here…Looks cozy, huh?

If you’d like to save $25, see if you can spot the secret promo code word in this blog. I left some clues.

(Psst. If you figure it out, you can share it.) See you soon!

Sign up or learn more about the weekend here!

(Oh, one more thing! Did you already sign up to go? Or do want some extra awesome?

If you spot promo code and you are the first share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RRforwriters I’ll have a special care package for you when I see you there, May 24th.)

Left Hand Rotation via Compfight

So I curate a Leadership Blog at a graduate school…

This means sometimes I write for it myself, and sometimes I find great guest writers who write for us or allow us to repost previously posted articles.

I scope out the inter webs for insightful and practical articles for anyone in a leadership position…from a small group leader, to a parent, to an influential thinker and writer, to a minister, to a business owner. Anyone who influences someone else is in a position of leadership.

[BTW-send me your links of leadership articles or pitch me your ideas. I'd love to have new voices posted at the Deeper Leader blog!]

There’s a lot of information out there, but there’s a big blind spot too.

I’ve noticed something. Not too many male leaders list women authors, leaders, and thinkers in their blogrolls or refer to them in posts. You don’t see that women influence them. What about Christian male leaders? It seems twice as bad.

Michael Hyatt’s “Intentional Leadership” blog is a favorite of mine. I LOVE it. But have you noticed that not one video on his homepage sidebar features a female leader? Does he even realize the omission? Should he maybe be more intentional on this part….I think yes!

(and so should I! I need to question who I read and why. I have a blind spot too.)

Let’s mind the gap.

As I prepare articles to begin announcing our 1st annual Women in Ministry: Conversations with Leaderships forum (June 12) I realize the glut. It’s massive.

So, what’s up?

• Is it that men don’t give it much thought? (an innocent blind spot that is likely borne of “male privilege“?)

• Is there a hidden bias or disregard for female leaders, and even among female leaders themselves?

and do men feel less manly if they read women authors? Any of that going on?

• Do men think, “Sure, I support women, but women leaders speak mainly to women and not to me”?

Let’s ask some hard and honest questions while at the same time not blaming, dividing and separating from each other. Let’s move the conversation forward!

I, for one, am going to assume the best from my male writers and friends. I’m going to put my trust and hope in the idea that if we bring the imbalance to greater attention and awareness maybe we can chip away at the disparity and both genders will be richer for it!

• What about you?

Are the top ten blogs or books you read written by a balance of men and women? If, so why or why not?

Are you taking the time to learn from someone else’s purview?

• How do we do better at offering others the chance to hear insights from the whole breath of the human species? 

• What can we do about the blind spot?

LINK UP & Join Forces?

If you’d like to participate in the conversation, write an article and leave the link in the comments section. I’ll put the word out about your post too!

Andi Cumbo is tackling this and a few others. Will update soon!

(Luna chewing a busy bone)

This is literally a Wet Dog Diary entry.

We took our chocolate Lab, Luna, to a friend’s cabin on Sunday. The cabin is situated right near a creek and Luna’s inbred water skills took over. Nature trumped.

Short background on the breed:
Labrador Retrievers are among the most popular registered breeds in the US, Canada, Australia, and the UK and came about from the St John water dog breed in the 16th century. They became the breed they are today in Newfoundland in the 18th century, and chocolate labs are a 20th century variety. Their coats are waterproof.

Luna’s excitement shifted to overdrive. She wanted to sniff everything and had an anteater quality for a bit as she trolled the grounds.

Then the water fowl got her attention. She was transfixed. She never barked, only made little communications in staccato canine mummers. Muscle taunt, ears pricked.

She was living the dream.

Luna the Diving Dog?
Soon she went up to a ledge near the creek and jumped right in without hesitation. No fear. Just joy. Instinct. Love of the whole thing.

The water was probably about 40° F so she didn’t stay in long. I’ve never seen her happier.

Something about that act of abandon pricked me and gave me a new connection to her. She was herself. She wasn’t what her previous owners said she was (a lab that strangely disliked water). She wasn’t some other kind of animal. She was in her God-given glory. That is beauty, I must tell you.

Connection
Something switched this weekend with Luna. She began looking into our eyes to see what was expected. She’s moved beyond being anxious at her new surroundings and understanding how our family (pack) operates to now being a part of it instead. It seems like the love is mutual now, for all of us, that the growing pains of learning a new family grouping have subsided. Trust in a deeper way has started.

Trust
It makes me wonder about how trust works in our own human hearts. Mutuality is vital to it. It’s the difference between emotionally “hedging your bet” and being a willing giver buoyed by the security that comes with a firmer social bond. At what point do we just forget about our hang ups and be who we are born to be? When do we dive?

What thoughts do you have on Trust today?

Luna, our chocolate lab

When I decided to adopt Luna, a five year old chocolate lab 2 days ago, I knew I had to jump in with BOTH feet.

You can’t halfway care for a dog and love it halfway or something bad can take over. Resentment.

The truth is that dogs smell really gross to me. Their fur gets on to everything and they’ve seem ridiculously emotionally needy to me. The constant caring for them can feel like such a never-ending  chore. But the reality is also that they need people. These pack animals get neurotic and socially dysfunctional without a predictable caregiver who serves as pack leader. (Yes, I’ve been learning for the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan.)

They easily sense apprehension. They need a non frustrated, calm leader–and I admit when she shoves me out of the way to barge out into the rain after school kids I get tense!

Having grace for her problems and retraining her to be a better fit in our family is the new mission of The DeLay Pack.

I’ll keep you posted. Soon.

In the meantime, what good advice do you have for me?

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

-Augustine of Hippo, 354-430 CE

 

This quote is a lovely reflection of the pursuing God, the God that brings peace and wholeness. And in tasting that wholeness and love we long to be ever-filled by such goodness

What touched you about it?

 

image from here: truthworks.org

I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)

With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.

Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.

Gleanings

One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.

• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.

• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.

• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.

She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.

Communication and Transactions

Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.

• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.

The biggest reason people divorce? 

• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.

(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)

The most important things we can teach our children?

• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)

Since I’ve changed my website design I don’t have a quick access point to the ebooks I sell on Amazon.

I thought that few were being sold. Was it worth it? Did what I write matter?

Then I saw someone on Twitter tweet out a quote from the book. That was just the coolest thing. I thanked him and he wrote this:

That felt like $1,000 cash in my pocket. I love that he said that! Thanks, Bill.

If you haven’t read the book yet, this is your reminder. It’s a mere $3. Enjoy.

(For a list of 3 other ebooks I’ve done and their ebook links, click the Who’s Lisa page)

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

-Mark Twain

Frédéric Renaud via Compfight

{Here is a picture of your soul, the garden where you and God meet.}

This is the final post in a two month series on Discernment. I’d love to know what you’ve learned on the way. What insights did you gain? To go back and refresh your mind start by clicking the discernment tag above to read the other articles in the series.

Here are some of the things we’ve learned:

• Understanding God’s will has everything to do with listening well and getting familiar with the voice and ways of God.

• God is always at work.

• Desolation in our spirit cannot come from God.

• Silence creates a sacred space that makes room for God and improves our hearing.

(You probably blasted through those bullet points, all speedy like, because you have things to do…so, please just take 8 more seconds and read the point points again just a smidgeon more slowly.)

Our Interior World
As we go into our interior world prayerfully and with the Holy Spirit, moving past and through the hurts and baggage, the clatter and the striving, we eventually find ourselves found in the One who loves us and created us. He is in and through us, not separated from us. He is everywhere present and in every time present. He is down deep waiting. So we awaken.

We see that God has given us Eden within, and just as before–as the ancient narrative tells us–we are charged to care for and cultivate it. We are found in the garden.

This understanding and solace in God is keenly found in the Contemplative Tradition of Christianity which will be covered in greater depth in the next few weeks. (So if you don’t want miss it just sign up for new content special-delivery-style in the sidebar.)

Do you have questions about contemplative prayer? Let me know.

I’m been thinking a lot about how we come into knowing we are Beloved of God. When and if we can absorb that simple but huge concept and step into it, we tend to feel excited to share that reality, spread the love and help others get in on such good stuff!

How do we do it?

Here’s what I found….It’s impossible to make someone receive love or to make them know they are loved, just as much as it’s hard to receive love when we don’t feel ready. It can’t feel forced. It’s part mental ascent and part experiential, and our experiential baggage gets in the way! We can’t still be cynical and mistrusting to actually feel loved. It’s a leap. Right off the cliff toward Love.

You think you’ll die a brutal death, until you do it. Then you realize you have been able to fly on the breeze of God’s love the whole time, and just never got there.

So, I don’t have a good answer to how it works have someone receive your love, but I do know that we put ourselves in a place to be transformed and healed by preparing our heart to offer love freely. We decide that the pain won’t outweigh the gift. The reward. 

Can we be betrayed? Yes.

Can we get hurt? Yes.

But we can’t offer much if we can’t offer ourselves, wide open. We can’t love others when we are not equipped to receive love. When we are hedging our bets or playing it safe. Or, and this is the surprise…we can’t feel more loved by over-giving.

BUT over-givers try this, anyway. Is this you? You give and give and give. You serve and help and meet needs, but because you are not ready to receive an emptiness starts to seep in. Then, maybe resentment. Then maybe bitterness and cynicism. The spirit closes.

It’s because love and service given isn’t and hasn’t truly been freely given. It’s been given in hopes of something…it’s changed to be some sort of bargain or  potential transaction. It’s some sort of agreement known or unknown that wagers “if I give enough I will be given to. I will feel Love. I will receive and be filled.”

No. It can’t happen this sort of way.

The challenge is to do the radical renovation of tearing the walls down. Prepare to receive.

Now, what would this look like for you? Share your ideas.

(voicemail or comment)

image found here: aledocofc.blogspot.com

I’m a bit more than half way through teaching a small group of adult learners about Evil, God’s Justice, Love, Mercy, Reconciliation, and Kingdom of God living with great guidance of a slew of videos from Tom Wright.

When we decry Evil we mustn’t stop there for we are the remedy for it.

God’s Kingdom is made manifest through us. We exact justice by helping those who are suffering rather than through the power games a godless world endorses and implements.

It is not about self-interest, but self-sacrifice.

Our fuel is the knowing that we are indeed image bearers and creations of God made from the outpouring and overflowing of his great love. We are God’s Beloved and we offer that gift to the world, that they too, each one is Beloved as well. We especially find the ones that are overlooked or oppressed or unhealed.

We do more than associate with these outcasts, the ones that others find embarrassing or scandalous, we suffer with them and enter their pain.

Sometimes simple seeing and hearing someone fully and taking them into our loving kindness will well convey that they are God’s Beloved because we’ve treated them with such honor. An honor that is due them because they are God’s children.

I made up this slide and it may be a good poster too, so I offer it up to you. (click the image) Pin it if you’d like.

And now a question for you.

What particular group of misfits holds a soft spot in your heart? Send me a voicemail or leave a message.

I love this handy-dandy safety chart on riptide. As you swim inland a rip current will prevent you from coming to shore. It will pull you under and drag you out to sea. Even in shallow water a strong swimmer can drown in rip current, so get wise to the wicked water and read it!

In the start of a new series leading up to Easter, my pastor (Jeff Byerly) began on Sunday talking about Recovery. Using themes from the 12 step program (and the Celebrate Recovery organization) he mentioned that even though we don’t all suffer the torments of pronounced addictions, the path to healing remains the same. This is one of the benefits of a support group like Celebrate Recovery. It functions like a life guarding outpost when the rip current is subtly strong.

Whether we tend to get into co-dependent relationships, spend time looking at pornography, succumb to retail therapy (shopping), fixate on eating too little (or feel the compulsion to eat too much) our compulsions and hang ups read like a similar story, a human story. A normal story.

The most piercing portion of the talk came when Jeff referenced some thoughts from C.S. Lewis…here I’m paraphrasing from Jeff’s paraphrase…but it goes something like…

–Bad people really don’t know that much about their badness— (maybe some of you Lewis fans can point me to the exact reference)

In sinning (which is the normal but deadly stuff of life), we go along with things as they come. We don’t distinguish much as we do mostly what we please. It’s only when we resist, try to consistently do what is right and good and when we try to go against the opposing and fierce force within and without that we run into a kind of riptide trying to pulling us under and kill us. Goodness then is a right mirror showing what still needs work in us. It reflects an ugly picture we don’t care to look at.

Paul really fleshes this out in Romans….What a great devotional read this makes. (Go on and click here for that)

So, it is in doing right where we come against the reflecting pool that shows us how bad are really are. Simply because we have terrible failures. We hit a snag. The contrast our need of rescue. Without the challenge of doing what we know is right, we never really assess the weight and scope of our sinful ways. But, my, how unpopular this concept is. Off-putting and out of vague. Time for a few reassuring pats on the back… But try to be unwaveringly good for a while, and we see how true it is.

And how you’ve ever noticed how self-satisfied people are? It’s probably because they aren’t making much of an effort at consistently doing what is right. They haven’t been humbled by failure. They’ve rarely seen felt this opposing monster for themselves because the room is too dark.

Maybe you’ve felt the same way too at times, “Well, I’m not so bad. I’m certain not as bad as most people.” Trust me, the day will not pass before this thought is likely to cross my mind as well.

It’s that kind of subtle self-dellusion that can thwart our willingness to be a part of the ongoing sanctification of  the Holy Spirit. He works us over and makes us over. It’s that mauling process, if you will, that does the hard work. So, Jesus said, “Only the sick need a doctor.” He was of course talking to sick people at the time, only they didn’t think of themselves that way. There’s nothing more hopeless than that.

If we ever went a whole week noticing and noting all the strays from what we know is right and good and set about to only do right…WATCH OUT. The proof of our weaknesses, problems, and short-comings will pop up like an angry bee sting.

Fatigued then, in a fight to do what’s right, sometimes we realize it is in he surrender to our powerlessness that we find rescue. It’s counter-intuitive as much as swimming out to sea is when you’re almost drowning. But it works. This is part of the powerful of observing a season of Lent.

The great relief from sin and that sort of deadly riptide comes from repentance and forgiveness. This theme is never more potent than when we celebrate on Resurrection Sunday. More on this sort of thing in posts to come. Please click for updates (right sidebar)

Have you felt this kind of riptide?

(You can leave me a voice message with your thoughts, if you’d like. Click the voicemail tab on the right)

rip current image found here: www.palmbeachpost.com

Here is the next installment in the January and February Discernment Series. (Click the discernment tags for the other articles.)

We are a few days into Lent, a season widely observed by Christians worldwide for the forty days leading up to Resurrection Sunday (Easter). So, today, I’m tailoring the discernment series to reflect this season specifically.

Characteristically, this a time of renewed devotion and spiritual regeneration. A time of refinement and becoming better aware of our sins that the joy and glory of the risen God-man, Jesus, from the dead and that victory over sin and death is full blown and made manifest within us. It’s potentially a most transformative time.

The period that works it’s way up to the “Superbowl of Christianity” (…Easter that is…) which has been lost among many Christians during modern times and not the least in North America. We live in abundance and forget our poverty….of soul.

Sadly, sometimes this season is reduced to the question, “What are you giving up for lent?” For some it’s a lunchtime meal, or other it’s sweets, for others it’s a cherished activity or luxury, and so on. This sort of reduction can guts the richness fasting can bring. The spiritual gains and insights. Fasting is not about doing without. It’s merely a method to help look within.

You can pray without fasting, but fasting without prayer forgets the whole point of the fast. Fasting is not simply refraining from eating something. It’s not some act of anorexia. It’s a purifying spiritual exercise because it questions are most powerful desires and purifies our intentions and attachments by removing or reducing something we need for life…food…in order to see things differently. We bring these things that surface during our fast before God in prayer. We repent. We start over, refreshed.

A FEW CAUTIONS:

1. Be careful to not ever view fasting, or do fasting, as a way to force God’s hand or suffer in order to get something you need or want. This is manipulation, plain and simple, and rather immature spiritual endeavor.

2. Fasting doesn’t serve the point of getting spiritual brownie points. So, if you enter into a period of fasting, please bear that in mind. We are saved by God’s grace, not the things we do. We please him out of love not to get him to love us more. (His love for us in unchanging.)

3. If you haven’t given up food in a fast before, be very moderate with regards to food. Some people go overboard and this serves as a big distraction. Only skip one meal, for instance. And do the research and preparation needed to insure do don’t run into trouble with your health, or otherwise.

4. During the time you fast, when you feel physical discomfort (hunger) pray, read scripture, or worship. Guard against the seduction to self-righteousness that can happen when you do something challenging, or a have spiritual victory. Jesus warns his followers to not parade around and make a big deal while fasting. This is between you and God.

If you haven’t ever fasted, I encourage you to encounter it this year, at least to a degree. If you haven’t started yet, go ahead and refrain from something, for the next forty days, even if it’s not food. See if it opens your eyes anew.

If you’d like, please use the voicemail button on the right to leave your questions, concerns, or comments about lent or fasting. I’d love to hear what you’re doing this season, or the challenges you’re facing.

On Friday, I’ll post PART II for Lent, Fasting, and Discernment…

I’ll try to answer your questions and reveal a bit more how discernment may be enhanced by fasting.

The first point of wisdom is to discern that which is false; the second, to know that which is true.
- Lucius Caelius Lactantius

Maybe it’s just me, but knowing what is false and true is a chief concern of life. I wonder, “Is this the best decision?” or “I’m a being self-decieved?” or “Am I being told the truth?”

We navigate life as a continual search and quest and discerning of this. On many levels, in many venues, this is a main part of being human.

We don’t arrive at this place like a time-traveler. Boom! We move there through the bumpy journey of discovery, limping. A pilgrimage of mistakes and joys. Sorrow and enlightenment. We get a bit mangled along the way too. But, the whole process is important.

God does not exist to answer our prayers, but by our prayers we come to discern the mind of God. - Oswald Chambers

In the action of praying we become. Slowly the striving turns to listening and abiding. The foolishness of our petulance and pleading matures into familiarity, knowing, and synergism.

You will feel broken as you walk this path. Don’t let that discourage you. God knows who you are. He doesn’t think of you of as a problem. He doesn’t ruminate on what is wrong with you, like you may do to yourself. God only sees what is missing that will come to bring you deep joy and shalom. Never forget that God is always at work. Often in so many ways we do not and cannot understand. He never slumbers. He never sleeps. His eyes are loving upon you. Watches over you and sings your name.

This is how we learn to know what is true.

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One more thing! Do you have a question about prayer or finding God’s will? Use the Voicemail Feature in the blue bar on the right. I’d love to explore your questions or comments! :)

Have a super day, everyone!

Well, the spectacle of the Superbowl 2013 happened last night. I love the game. I even own a well-worn terrible towel…but I have to say this was one of the most disappointing, disturbing, and vacuous mega-sports and media events of recent memory.

I don’t have my thoughts worked out for an intelligent reflection and commentary, but I was referred to this article by Matthew Vos and it’s worth your time to read it, especially if you are a parent:

Prizes and Consumables: The Super Bowl as a Theology of Women

“If you truly love God and his will, then doing what you will, will, in fact, be doing what God wills.” – Peter Kreeft

Many of us strive to learn or discover God’s will. But, it can be confusing.

Dr Peter Kreeft offers 5 insights:

• Always begin with data

with what we know for sure. Judge the unknown by the known, the uncertain by the certain. Adam and Eve neglected that principle in Eden and ignored God’s clear command and warning for the devil’s promised pig in a poke.

• Let your heart educate your mind

Let your love of God educate your reason in discerning his will. Jesus teaches this principle in John 7:17 to the Pharisees. (Would that certain Scripture scholars today would heed it!) They were asking how they could interpret his words, and he gave them the first principle of hermeneutics (the science of interpretation): “If your will were to do the will of my Father, you would understand my teaching.” The saints understand the Bible better than the theologians, because they understand its primary author, God, by loving him with their whole heart and their whole mind.

• Have a soft heart but a hard head

  We should be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves,” sharp as a fox in thought but loyal as a dog in will and deed. Soft-heartedness does not excuse soft-headedness, and hard-headedness does not excuse hard-heartedness.

• All God’s signs should line up

  by a kind of trigonometry. There are at least seven such signs: (1) Scripture, (2) church teaching, (3) human reason (which God created), (4) the appropriate situation, or circumstances (which he controls by his providence), (5) conscience, our innate sense of right and wrong, (6) our individual personal bent or desire or instincts, and (7) prayer. Test your choice by holding it up before God’s face. If one of these seven voices says no, don’t do it. If none say no, do it.

• Look for the fruits of the spirit

  especially the first three: love, joy, and peace. If we are angry and anxious and worried, loveless and joyless and peaceless, we have no right to say we are sure of being securely in God’s will. Discernment itself should not be a stiff, brittle, anxious thing, but—since it too is part of God’s will for our lives—loving and joyful and peace-filled, more like a game than a war, more like writing love letters than taking final exams.

Do you agree… disagree… or have any thoughts on Dr Kreeft’s insights?

Click to read the rest of the (lengthy) article.

Installments in this Discernment Series have often been on Fridays, but this week, I have a special announcement Friday. Come back for that.

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It’s always an honor to hear someone really share their pain. Not wallow, mind you. Not over-exposing their fiery emotions and gory  details. Something real and raw from a tender and seldom seen place.

The heartfelt wounds that still hurt from some kind of past or unnoticed pain. The cries of the heart. The reaching out to be heard, and then the comfort realized.

It always strikes me that at the very time when someone is most revealed and open they are at the same time supremely vulnerable and yet exquisitely lovable.

Truly human. It’s not just an honor because it is so rare …(it happens usually through time and trust and other options are unfavorable)…it’s an honor because there is within that moment a genuine glimpse of glory.

“The glory of God revealed is the human most fully alive.” -Irenaeus of Lyons

We have a rebirth–a fully alive moment–in those sort of times: Vulnerability through the struggles and between destinations. There the messy becomes beautiful. Redeemed.

Even though it feels really risky, the chance to be truly seen and heard in our vulnerability engenders compassion because what is common between us transcends the boundaries that keep us isolated.

—

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These are some of my favorite quotes from The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.:

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

‘An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education. ”

“A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.”

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”

This is the 2nd week of the Discernment Series.

This time it’ll be good to know about the terms Consolation and Desolation as described by Ignatius of Loyola in his work Spiritual Exercises.

BUT FIRST…some of you who know me know I’m not a Catholic. I’ve been trained at a decidedly Evangelical Seminary, called…not-so-creatively “Evangelical Seminary“. So why am I going on about a 500 year old book from a counter-reformation Catholic?

In short, because your soul will be blessed.

Because the tensions from that time (1491-1556 CE) aren’t here in force now so we can learn some very useful things that align with basic Christian theology. The major hostilities at the time made listening to what God was saying “on the opposing side” quite difficult. (Things were hostile to the point of murder on both sides, no less….how Jesus of them?!ugh.) So, from the point of my tradition, Protestants rejected both grimy bath water and baby.

In general, Catholics rejected what they considered a heretical and a rebellious front to the unquestionable authority of the Church, and didn’t see what was coming from Reformers as helpful or biblical ideas for doing church differently. (It took about 500 years at Vatican II to incorporate many of those needed Reformation era ideas, but a surprising number of them went through and were accepted. Masses conducted in a language understood by the people listening being just one of them. Then, it takes 50 years or so, so I’m told by Catholics, to see them flesh out at the parish (local church) level.)

SO Now-
We’re at a point (I’m generalizing here) where we don’t have to fear reading other streams of Christianity from that time. No one will be tied to a stake and torched, not literally anyway. I think we’re okay accepting that God has much truth to impart from devoted believers with various backgrounds, and this willingness to hear can aid our spiritual growth.

Ignatius was convicted and motivated to “find God in all things”.
I like that about him. This is the way we live incarnational lives. This is how our worldview and our true selves get put right by the love and dominion of our Savior and Creator, and his Son, the enfleshed God, Jesus Christ. While I find some of the ideas, concepts, doctrine, and long-ago language of Ignatius foreign to me, I don’t let it unsettle me. Instead, I let the Holy Spirit speak to my heart and guide me while I read. I pray with the ideas and ask for guidance. I admit I have a lot to learn. I leave some things behind and take in what is transformative and what will make me more like Jesus, the Christ.

Not every but of it will help me or you, but enough will that I bother to write about it and include those outside of my tradition and experience in my blog to open our eyes to some great advice and sage wisdom for understanding how to discern God’s will in transformative ways.

So now for “consolation” and “desolation”

Ignatian teaching has it that these are two terms that help us decipher what is from God, and what is not. At first blush, we may assume that consolation is “happy…yeah God…feelings” and so forth. Desolated might be unhappy ones. But, hang on while we dig a little deeper.

For Ignatius, Consolation is a word to describe interior stirrings that are aroused in the soul that has been inflamed with love for God as Creator and Lord, and too every creature made by the Creator. It’s marked in every increase in faith, hope, love, and interior joy that bring a filling of peace and quiet. A drawing closer to God. A soul in consolation may weep too at the recognition and repentance of sins, and also the relief of the abiding grace of God. A godly grief may be a Consolation, though a difficult patch to get through. Most importantly Consolation is a gift. We don’t arrive there by techniques or things we do. God graces us with consolation.

Desolation is indeed the opposite of consolation, but note how Ignatius writes about it,

“I call desolation what is entirely the opposite (of  consolation), as darkness of soul, torment of spirit, inclination to what is low and earthly, restlessness rising from many disturbances and temptations which lead to want of faith, want of hope, want of love.  [In desolation] the soul is wholly slothful, tepid, sad, and separated, as it were, from its Creator and Lord.”

Desolation then is all the stuff that stirs our souls and draw us away from God, regardless of the subjective feelings. Some in desolation will not recognize it as that. They will be oblivious. And plenty more will not associate what feelings they have with interior stirrings of the soul. Maybe they’ll blame the government, the economy, circumstances, or other things instead.

So, now that you know which is which, listen and tune in to your interior stirrings. Consolation and Desolation are not mere feelings. They have to do with a conflation of responses and influences that are the movings at the soul level (our core).

Note when you are in consolation. Note when you sense desolation. Get a feel for the movements and workings of God. Begin to distinguish them from the ungodly ones that come from the Enemy or the ungodly parts of yourself.

Next time I’ll talk about the uses and aims of both consolation and desolation in God’s work on us.

To read the (English) PDF of Ignatian’s “Spiritual Exercises” click here.

(Don’t miss the next installation of the series. Use the sidebar to get the next update.)

Yesterday, I talked about the shift that happens when a word–and the thing that word is standing for–sprouts into other parts of speech. “Google” was one example. Love was another.

How this transition happens is based on a few factors, and some of those factors are not within our control.

It seems the abiding reasons (for positive associations) have a lot to do with building trust and a powerful impression. There are triggers that make things start to traverse “across platforms”. For instance, Goolge as a company became a certain type of brand when it offered free web searches very quickly with short load times and no bothersome ads. There were no ads at first and then they incorporated Google Ads to make some money hoping their ads would be subtle and effective…bearable. (no pop up ads, etc).

Moving from brand to a ubiquitous term across parts of speech and culturally (like the word “google” moving from noun to brand name noun to adjective, adverb, and verb) takes something else. Several things.

Widespread and frequent acceptance and usage

Trust and reliability

Close Identity with an action or idea that can be described more accurately than the word it replaces.

Example:

In the case of Google…if you wanted to say, “Hey, search on the internet for that,” it actually became more accurate to say “Google that.”

It was not just a quicker way to say what you wanted to, it was more specific too. The word that replaced “search” carried that idea of getting it right simply, in the middle of all the potential complexity. The meaning was richer and more defined by implication. Using google would get you a specific outcome better or differently than other ways to search. Soon all internet searching fell under this umbrella: Searching well and quickly on the internet was “googling”.  Even to the point where you could hear someone say, “Use Bing to google a video about the Panama Canal.” (Bing: Microsoft’s attempt to be Google, but they’re too late for the party. For now, Google has won the day by winning the word and the idea about searching the internet, and they’ve crossed platforms.)

For us, as Communicators, Leaders, or Creators, our message can move from noun to verb. For best results, it takes more than notoriety. Whether we’re talking about invention, art, consumer goods, or just being the go-to person on a topic, the same principles apply.

What about for the walk of faith? Same thing.

We have to be so easily identifiable with a concept and action that the connection happens. Whether that’s love, service, encouragement, worship, or anything else that build the Kingdom of God.

The sticky part comes in doing it in a way that builds our “personal brand” and furthers our own interests, more than the Kingdom. We too often pick ourselves. This upside down Kingdom is laid out in Matthew 5-7 (the Sermon on the Mount).

I think we can spot the difference between our own Kingdom or God’s in the fruit that comes to bear as well as whether we sense the consolation of God or the desolation without God’s (felt) presence. This is the realm of discernment, and will define consolation and desolation that later in the week. Stop back soon!

GOOGLE is the number you get if you write the numeral 1 and then add 100 zeros. this is a largely lost mathematical factoid that’s been replaced by other meanings.

Google is the most popular internet search engine. (yeah, Duh.)

But something happened in contemporary culture when it was influenced by this culture of the information age. Google made the leap worldwide from a noun (think: person, place, thing, or idea) to a VERB. The noun form of Google standing for a company name sprouted into other parts of speech too.

Adjective: “If you want to know about me, do a Google search.”

Adverb: “He Google searched and found my article.”

Verb: “If you don’t know something, don’t ask me, just Google it!”

A lot of big things happen when this shift happens.

A noun gets this categorically right.

A adjective hones down a noun. Specifics.

An adverb specifies what a verb is doing or what an adjective is describing.

but, a Verb not only shows action (as the definition will tell you), but also taps into the ontological core of the thing itself.

This is helpful to know when we say, for instance, “God is Love.” Love is a noun, verb, adjective (loving) and maybe other things.

I wonder if that’s where we locate transcendence. Language captures crucial shifts in their broad strokes. It works to define parameters we can’t see. The layers ones.

So–Will you be marginalized to just a noun? Or will you flourish into as an adjective and or verb?

Tomorrow will be a PART II to this. The “how” bit.

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Once a week for the next 2 months I will be covering the topic of discernment. We’ll learn how to discern much better!

I can hardly think of a theme that comes up more often than “trying to find our way”.

Especially for those of us who create or try to be intentional and grow.

Some think of discernment as “finding God’s will”, some as “knowing with path to take at a fork in the road”, some as “discovering or actualizing one’s calling”, and some think of it as learning to be better and more consistently attuned to God’s voice.

Many don’t realize that about 500 years ago a very keen and practical guide to discernment was created to teach Christians and Christian leaders how to discern the voice of God. Through the practice of these Spiritual Exercises (Ignatius of Loyola), we can be guided with far less angst and far greater freedom and peace as we choose our way and listen for God’s voice.

Millions of believers have undertaken learning and applying these sage writings on the topic, and consequently have better allowed the Holy Spirit to guide their life. Others find great solace in participating in Ignatian retreats. The spirituality influenced by Ignatian involves “find God in all things” and “laboring with God in the divine project of healing the world”. Prayer and action are combined as the spiritual muscles of experiencing God’s abundant love and hearing his voice develop.

Since basic theology tells us that God is everywhere present.  (Of course, whether we actually live this out as we believe it is antoher matter.)

Like King David tells us of God in his poetry, there is no place God is not. Psalm 139.

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

if I go down to the grave,^a you are there.

The study and exercise of Ignatian principles to improve the abilities of discernment involve the intellect, emotion, memory, and will.

I’ll be sharing those ways and methods here regularly to help you become categorically better at discernment.
Starting now:

What is the first exercise in learning discernment?
Preparing the “soil of one’s heart”.

Imagine that you’ve never run more than a few blocks in your entire lifetime. And maybe when you did it was just to avoid getting bitten by a dog or to catch the ice cream truck. How easy would it be to get up out of bed one early Saturday morning and complete a marathon without ever training your body?  (What is it 26 point something miles? UGH.)

OUCH. . .would be the key word. Oh, and failure.

Beneficial and godly discernment requires that your heart and mind do some prep work too. Some inventory and reflection is needed. Some opening of our will to God. Some asking God to make you ready to hear his voice, change and work on your heart and mind, and improve your hearing (mainly, but not just the spiritual kind).

Start with these few questions:

Focus in on the area that requires discernment then ask,
1. What have I done in the past?

2. What am I doing now?

3. What ought I to do in the future OR What do I hope for the future?

Try to be as specific as possible with your answers. Write them down, pray about them, and revisit them later.
This is no easy sledding and it helps to have a companion along the way.

More on discernment next week!

For more information about help with discernment in your life click here.

If you don’t want to miss a post click here to to get the next ones sent by Email.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling right now or at a crossroads? Would you please tell them about this Series?

Will you pray for me? I’m learning discernment too.
And please don’t leave without sharing something that I can pray about for you.

(above photo is an example of “The Classic-I got a re-gift face” which I found here.)

So, my Sabbatical from blogging is still in effect.
If you are able to read this tomorrow, Friday December 21st, the Mayan Apocalypse didn’t happen or is just about to. Tomorrow is also the shortest day of daylight of the year, which is like a tiny apocalypse of darkness with much better weather. 

I’ve given myself the gift of removing the obligation to post here for the rest of the year, with the exception of a year-end post that is to come.

However, today I did want to share some news which is a kind of Christmas present to all of you, seeing that this is my final post before Christmas day, that day when Jesus got rags and a hay bed for his birthday.

3 Books are FREE for download, Friday, Mayan Apocalypse Day only. Go and get ‘em! (If you’ve already downloaded them, consider re-gifting them, by passing along the news. I won’t tell anyone.)

I know something about re-gifting. My mom used to have a re-gifting sickness of sorts. It got to the point where my stepdad would have to guard his closet because some of his clothes that my mom didn’t like would make it under the tree as “presents” for my husband. AWKWARD! One year, Tim (husband) opens his gift. It’s a gigantic shirt, twice his size. Stepdad blurts out, “Hey, that’s mine. I liked that shirt!” What do you do then, hand it back and make mother-in-law the villain, or keep the shirt and get stepdad-in-law on your bad side? Yep. Fun times!

Other Points of Note, before the Christmasy part.

1. To ensure you don’t miss the next post (seeing that they are quite rare now), just subscribe to the blog using the button/field to the right. (RSS or email delivery options are there for your viewing pleasure.)

 

2. In the right column…the part that says “You’re invited to my email list” is not for post updates. It’s for the inner circle. I let this list of people…that you’re dying to be a part of—I can tell by your eyes…know things in advance (projects, newsy bits, books, freebies, what-have-you) with an occasional update email, only once or twice a month.

 

3. The Cadre. (Click the heading at the top of the page for that info). Consider praying about your potential involvement in this cohort of camaraderie and support. It’s a 100% free, 1 year commitment to community. Although it’s not officially launching until FEB 1, everyone involved is already starting to bond and know each other better. Such a beautiful thing. These people are probably some of the sweetest folks you’ll ever meet. Their friendship is like GOLD. I. kid. you. not.

Final bidding of holiday goodwill:

May your Christmas meet you where you are.
Whether that means clinging on to family and faith, getting some needed solace, soaking in with gratitude all the blessings at hand, or sitting with your pain and allowing the grace and mercy of God to wash over you, I pray and hope that you are somehow specially blessed in the next 11 days. I’m anointing this post in prayers of petition on your behalf, and I’m trusting in the Great unseen God who made heaven and earth as his abode to shine his face toward you. In this Spirit I bid you a most blessed Christmas.