Path to Porn..for women (part 1)

(click image for photo source)

Confession: I recently viewed porn. It’s not the first time.

And so have you.

Porn: noun
1 pornography.
2 television programs, books, etc., regarded as catering to a voyeuristic or obsessive interest in a specified subject.

In this case, it was clips from a primetime television show on NBC, not graphic and explicit sexual content. But, porn has much to do with lacking purity, and self-discipline. I wasn’t interested in either at the time. It doesn’t matter how graphic it was or wasn’t, I picked a path.

I know it’s a common path, so I’m starting a post series on porn, to get the topic out in the open. You’ve seen porn. Of course you have. That’s just simple statistics. The only thing in question is for how long, or how often…but far more importantly, why are you, and are you hiding it, and do you feel stuck or trapped? Well, the gig is up.

7 Reasons this porn stuff is a typical situation:
• Television
/especially cable/dish/satillite

• Smart phones/phone with internet access or image viewing capabilities

• Internet…duh. It’s got to be reason # 1. (plenitude of images & privacy to do as one pleases=lack of discipline.)

• Over-Sexualized culture/media, especially in advertising

• Plentiful supply normalizes or excuses inappropriate or damaging behavior/habits.

• Video games/books/products

• Cultural Idolization of beauty, youth, virility, and social acceptance.

We’ll get into the heart of the issue, behaviorally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and find some ways to detour this path that will damage us and our relationships. We’ll help each other out, okay?

I will speak from my purview, as a women. We live in a time that is highly visual, tied to fantasy, that supplies huge amounts of voyeuristic material. It’s not something mostly “men do” (look at or participate in). Women do too.

However, I challenge you men reading to cover this topic in the next two weeks in a post or post series, or at least link to this post to support bringing this topic to light.

And ladies reading today, I challenge you to take on this topic, too, not as something that you wish guys wouldn’t do, etc., but as something that somehow effects your life somehow personally, and convicts you to somehow find a better way.

Often “Literature” and Story/Fantasy are like gateway drugs to this type of porn for women…I wrote a bit about this sort of thing in a past article, 5 Reasons I Don’t Read (Christian) Chick Books. 

Confess what trips you up.

Coming up in the next post…thoughts, feelings, and reasons you and I try the Path to Porn.

In later posts, we’ll work together to discover some resources to help and guide us: detours from the path. 

But, here’s the question for today: What particular vehicle makes porn all too accessible for you or someone in your life? Anonymous comments are always welcomed.

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Spark My Muse

Lisa Colón DeLay writes often on matters of the attending to the inner life, creating a beloved community, spiritual formation, and consciousness. She is also a designer, teacher, speaker, and host of the weekly broadcast Spark My Muse since 2015. Lisa is Latina (born in Puerto Rico) and holds an MA in Spiritual Formation and is the author of "The Wild Land Within" (Broadleaf Books) and other books.

2 thoughts on “Path to Porn..for women (part 1)”

  1. I feel like there’s a lot to say here. Since I’m writing full time, one of the problems I’ve sometimes hit is that my clients want images to go with their content. So I go on the image hunt and look for the most innocent stuff in the world, only to find that someone figured out a way to integrate porn into a related picture. I can usually avoid this by either using a reputable image site or by telling them to find their own images. My work has been good for me for the most part, but I hate the thought that my work could potentially put me in harm’s way.  For all of my issues, porn has not been one of them, but I can understand how some men and women can become addicted to it.

  2. That’s what I run into as well. 

    I don’t feel compelled to find suggestive or explicit images…but google isn’t filtered in a way that eliminates some pretty awful stuff. …. This is the big reason why I won’t allow my children to google search. They can only go to places that have been vetted already… maybe it’s time for me to get away from google as a resource. 

    For me the problem…when there ever is one…is when it pops up by surprise. My guard might be down, or it may catch me at a time where I won’t bother to “bounce my eyes” as they say. I can see why it’s such an issue to so many. You are right…there are ways to safeguard one’s self… and find image in safe, scrubbed spots. Thanks for bringing that point to bear.

    I’d like to know why we don’t talk about this, or admit to it. We have to intentional secure a way to be accountable to someone. I serious have never heard a pastor say ANYTHING like…when I was prepping my power point for this sermon, I saw a lewd picture, and I clicked it, and I saw some more, and I have to stop that. Will you help me? HAVE YOU? No one says a word…but you KNOW it happens. It would have to.

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