What’s the best way to spread news in the Christian community?
That’s easy. Before you share news, just say it’s a prayer request.
(No one likes to feel left out. And for most people knowing and sharing news feels empowering. Cloaked with the term “prayer request” spreading news verges darn near to righteous.)
Even if it’s something horrible, you can say something like, “I probably shouldn’t say this, but, you know Peggy? She’s going through a lot right now. Her teen flipped out and hit her in the face yesterday. It gave her a bloody nose. It’s so sad. Really pray for her. They’re really struggling. Oh, and don’t tell anyone I told you, okay?”
What will happen is that everyone will know, but no one will admit to anything. It will like like the Spirit told them, and suddenly everyone will know everything, but, miraculously, nobody has betrayed any trust.
Peggy? She’ll get weird and awkward glances, and a few close friends will ninja hug her because they’re not sure what else to do, but want to do something overt to show they support her. Peggy will wonder who knows, and how it got out and about. Smilers and huggers will relieve their guilt from spreading around her business behind her back.
(Yes. This was not a “how-to”…just a bit sarcastic.)
Does this ring true?
Share your input: If someone says, “I probably shouldn’t say this…” what are some good ways to respond?
“prayer requests” often take the bite out of gossip too….
Well, being open and honest with our brothers and sisters is a big part of our Church family. Sure, there are those we don’t share everything with – but there are certainly those who we feel confident and close enough to say that they truly know (yada`) us…(without the yada yada of knowing…if you know what I mean) – our deepest passions and our darkest failures….
Not everything is for the whole body to know – but if the whole body should know…then it is spread through the body by whatever means accessible.
I’m not sure I’m responding to your question in post…. ;)
thanks for your input. Many Christians do this the right way. I’d say that when we share about someone else, any nitty-gritty details are rarely or ever important, since God knows them. But I hope we all have a confidant to share all our stuff with, without condemnation. Confession and spiritual guidance is super important and leads to healing and redeeming of our hearts/lives.
Charlie, you may have been the subject matter in a prayer request, and just never known about it. hope not though. :)
I’m all about sharing the dirty from my bad Christian experiences, but thankfully nothing comes to mind in the gossip prayer request. But man that is truly malicious – acting as though you care for the person as a way to actually spread dirt about them?
I believe that confidentiality is lacking within the church. Too many of us do take license to gossip in the name of prayer. God has recently shown me through personal prayer that when I pray “in secret” (Matt. 6:6-8) He rewards me openly. I believe that open prayer on behalf of others should only be done at the requests of others, not at all, or done in secret. God forbid that anyone should sin in the name of prayer!
uhm. My comment, “prayer requests” often take the bite out of gossip too….….I am hoping that y’all didn’t read that as condoning the act of gossip as a prayer request….
However, I do notice that it happens a lot….”Hey, I have a prayer request for so and so, who I heard was doing such and such”…..that’s wrong no matter how you dress it….it is truly malicious.
I agree Sharon – open prayer on behalf of others should only be done at the requests of others.
I do appreciate that, with those closest to me in the Faith, I am able to share my darkest moments, my struggles, and glories knowing confidently that they will keep them between themselves and The LORD….and what I find so full of Grace is that the very people that ‘know’ these things are able to see beyond them and help me unearth the treasure within.
Genesis Chapter 9 records the shameful account of Noah’s post-flood vineyard, his drunkenness, and his exposed condition in his tent. Noah’s son, Ham, found him in this condition, and, instead of discreetly covering his father, he went to tell his brothers. “And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.” (Genesis 9:22-23)
Shem and Japheth did what Ham should have done. In love, they covered their father’s sin. The Bible teaches us that a sinner who covers his own sins shall not prosper. (Proverbs 28:13) However, Christians, imitating the love of their Savior, should seek to cover the transgressions of their brothers and sisters, rather than seeking occasions to harvest grist for the rumor mill. (Proverbs 17:9)
I must say this comes across as totally wrong. Being Christians we like to think we don’t gossip, but this seems like a prime example. I agree that prayer requests should come from those who need the prayers. I agree that hopefully we all have at least a small handful of confidants we can go to, not always requiring they be available in our time of need, because reality is that sometimes people are not available for a variety of possible reasons. But if there are a few people we can trust then we can share with all of them or just some. After all, we all need others, like it or not. If someone in our trusted circle is available, great. If they are not, due to schedule, location, dealing with their own stuff right then, or whatever, then hopefully we can go to another person or persons in that circle. Then we can pray with them and for them. We can ask if it would be okay to share their prayer request with anyone else. So what if they don’t ask? What if they don’t let on that there is an issue. We’ve probably all been there at some point; too embarrassed, too self-sufficient, too caught up to even think about asking. Maybe that’s where observation, and yes, even the Holy Spirit, are key. Maybe sometimes we need to be observant or to listen to the Spirit. (Uh, we should always listen to the Spirit) Maybe sometimes we need to say “Hey, is there something going on I can pray for? Is there some way I can come along side of you?” We need to prove ourselves trustworthy, and I don’t think uninvited shared prayer requests are the way to do that. And yes, I agree that when someone says “I probably shouldn’t say this,” then in one way or another, we must say, “Then I’m so glad you won’t,” or some equally intended statement .
I have been on the giving and receiving end of such conversation-enders. “I am so tempted to say too much right now!” “Then don’t!!” “Okay!!! But…” “Moving on!!!!” “Argh!!!!!” Yeah, sometimes you just have to take a step in the right direction even before you’re “feeling it.”
On the other hand, I’ve been in a church where accusations of gossip were used to put the leadership beyond questioning, and problems festered instead of being solved (while the leaders, interestingly enough, practiced gossip themselves). The fact is, problems are often the result of some human agency, and stifling all communication in the name of “no gossip” only makes them worse. It is important to get help, but only share on a need-to-know basis, with a commitment to build up and not tear down.
Absolutely. Great to have you share with us, today.
Thanks! In other news… (shh, it’s a secret…) I’ve finally made my first-ever actual post on a blog, instead of just piggybacking — er, commenting — on everyone else’s as usual. Like, a blog that might actually get read by a couple of people, and stuff. (My personal blog doesn’t count.)
http://equalitycentral.com/blog/?p=278
Check it out, let me know what you think, but don’t tell anyone! (Shhh… pass it on!)