Tag: #4Bloggers

Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Already Taken [Guest post from Kathy Escobar]

 

Kathy Escobar is a plucky spiritual formation-minded woman bearing God’s message…and she has a great time in the process. What a kindred spirit! Enjoy her contribution. How could you not, right?

Kathy co-pastors the refuge, an eclectic beautiful faith community in north Denver, juggles 5 kids & an awesome husband, advocates friends in hard places, and is a trained spiritual director who loves to teach and facilitate events, workshops, and groups.

Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Taken
-by Kathy Escobar 

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken” – Oscar Wilde

I first discovered what a “blog” was in 2006, when we planted The Refuge, the wild little faith community I am part of.  Honestly, I had never heard the word before; I had been immersed in a hectic ministry role that was very insulated from the wider church conversation and I just wasn’t online.  This transition from mega-church to small-church-plant was a messy one for me.  I was in a lot of pain from my experience, so I reached out online after stumbling across some blogs while searching for church website ideas.  I felt an instant and immediate sense of relief when I discovered I wasn’t crazy, and I wasn’t alone in some of my feelings.  I found others with similar stories & similar church dreams.

The men and women I read were honest, bold, raw, and pure.

They weren’t selling anything, trying to push their agenda, or attempting to make-people-come-over-to-their-way-of-thinking.

Rather, they just told their stories.  Shared their experiences. Responded to other people’s comments with simple kindness and respect. And above all, they remained honest about what they were wrestling with and learning along the way.

Reading their blogs gave me hope.

They inspired me.

They pointed me toward God (even when they were wrestling with God).

They challenged me to think.

January 1, 2008, I started my own blog and dedicated myself to two simple commitments:

1. Write as honestly and purely as I could without editing or trying to worry about what other people might think.

2. Write once a week for one year.

It’s been a wild ride, and I have learned so much through the process over the past 4 years.

Out of everything, I think blogging has helped me learn to become more comfortable in my own skin, with my own voice, with who I am.

I think that is a very holy and sacred experience on our spiritual journey–learning to find safety and security in who we really are.  

Not who someone else is.

Not who we think we should be.

But in who we are.

I am someone who has always struggled with the message that I wasn’t enough somehow–not spiritual enough, not quiet enough, not domestic enough, not skinny enough, not organized enough, not-whatever-enough.

Blogging definitely intersected with this message, initially making it even worse.

In the first few years of my blog, I had so much internal anxiety about not being good enough, funny enough, theological enough, wise enough, or concise enough.   Whatever “enough” it was, I wasn’t.

But something began to shift in the past several years as I continued to find my voice and become more comfortable in my own skin out here.

I began to realize that the world doesn’t need another _________ or __________ or __________ (Insert name of any bloggers you are jealous of, and my guess is they are wrestling with similar feelings and go a little psycho about the same insecurities).

What’s missing is me.

Not because without me the world would stop spinning or the blogosphere would come to a screeching halt.

But because everyone else is taken.  

I think God wants us to learn how to become comfortable in our own skin, to be who-we-are, and not try to become someone else.

Blogging is a great place to practice this.

Making peace with who-we-are requires the ongoing-work-of-the-Holy-Spirit.  I doubt and question it all of the time.  I obsess before I hit “publish” and freak out about not being more like ______ or _______ (insert name of other blogger also obsessing about the same thing).

I need God’s help to remind me:  “Um, Kathy, just so you know, in the big scheme of things, it’s just a blog post.  And one other thing:  it’s a great place to practice just being you–with all your strengths & all your weaknesses.  Just you.”

And then I hit “publish” and take a deep breath and am reminded yet again, this is what transformation looks and feels like.

This is how we get more comfortable in our own skin.    This is how we learn to offer ourselves grace.  This is how we become “us” and not someone else.

Yikes, it’s hard to learn!   But blogging is a great spiritual practice that can help integrate this important truth into deep places in our hearts.

Yeah, my spiritual guidance for all us bloggers is this:  Be ourselves.  Everyone else is taken.

More Influential than Klout [Guest Post by Alise Wright]

I was really excited when Alise came on board with this Series. Ever since I started reading her blog, I’ve felt like she was my homegirl. She’s a busy girl, though, and I didn’t know if it would work out for her to participate. Thankfully, for me and you too, she’s a gracious girl, and I welcome you to read her contribution. Thank you, Alise!

(also “girl” means awesome woman)

Alise is married to an amazing man and is mom to four incredible kids. She enjoys writing, playing keyboards in her cover band, eating soup, and Oxford commas. She is the editor of “Not Alone: Stories of Living with Depression” and is currently editing “Not Afraid: Stories of Finding Significance”, both with Civitas Press. She blogs regularly at alise-write.com, and you can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

More Influential than Klout
-by Alise Wright 

Blogging is kind of a funny thing.

Absolutely anyone can go set up a blog and start writing right now. Heck, someone probably read that last sentence and thought, “You know, that’s true,” stopped reading, and started a blog. I’m glad my writing could inspire you.

And there it is. As soon as we have anyone reading our words, we have this power. It won’t happen every time, but when we write, we become influential. Not like the way Klout tells us that we’re influential, but in a more real way. We can shift perspectives. We can persuade decisions. We can impact conversations.

Often, however, we forget that our readers and commenters have the ability to influence us as well.

I post regularly about relationships that are dangerous and those kinds of posts tend to elicit strong reactions.

Because for the most part, we tend to read people who think like us, I often get positive comments. People will say that they have felt the same way, but didn’t know how to say it. They will share that they appreciate a different perspective being presented. Sometimes folks will tell me that I’m a true Christian for speaking out in favor of bridge building.

In these instances, it’s easy to allow people to influence my view of my faith.

Often, however, in these same posts, I get reactions that are not so supportive. People will suggest that my perspective is damaging. They will call me deceived. I’ve had people tell me that my views about things like cross-gender friendship, or LGBT affirmation, or atheist dialog without the goal of conversion indicate that I’m not a Christian at all.

In these instances, it’s easy to allow people to influence my view of my faith.

This is not how faith works. Our community can help shape our faith and can encourage us in the day to day application of that in our lives, but people on the outside don’t get to tell us if we’re real Christians or not.

One way to sort that question out is to look at what the Bible has to say.

In Philippians 2:12-13 we read, “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

We work out our own salvation. We allow God to work in us.

My salvation isn’t determined by the number of people who agree with my point of view versus those who disagree. It isn’t determined by the person who thinks I’m a real Christian or the person who thinks I’m a pagan. It isn’t determined by inclusions on one list or exclusions on another.

My salvation is something that I work out with the One who calls me his child.

That’s the only influence that really matters.

#   #   #

Have reader comments ever influenced you or challenged your faith?

12 Ways to Spike Blog Hits

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Creative Commons License Photo Credit: Jay via Compfight

The following list of 6 is semi-humorous and/or satire:

sat·ire

   [sat-ahyuhr]  

noun

1.

the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

 

The first 6 of 12 Ways to Spike Blog Hits

• Say “vagina”. (It doesn’t even have to relate to the rest of the post. Just wave the it around. The word, that is, not anything else. Wait! What did you think I meant? And also a shout out to Rachel Held Evans who’s keeping things vaginal. The word picked her, actually, and she’s a good sport despite the monkey business. Get it?)

• Threaten Violence. (This is especially powerful if the sentiment is violent but the reference is farcical. You come out smelling better this way too. Pretty even.)

• Disclose something sexual, or promise to.

• Be angry and let a rant loose. (Have you seen the 1st Harry Potter? Do what he did at the zoo, just with your words…obviously.)

• Feed people lurking around for controversy. (Stick to newsy bits, disputes, scandals, injustice, corruption, you get the idea. There are many prowling for this, so really, it’s SO Money.)

• Post about something sordid, or be a punk. (Titillate. Be explicit, rude, foul-mouthed, try adult-themes, sexual content, unhealthy habits, dangerous stuff, immoral activities, etc. Hello, bad ass.)

Many readers give in to their worst or weakest appetites. That’s just the facts.

These next 6 are the ones I endorse. They won’t get you the same sorts of quick spikes, but they will build a loyal and good-natured readership over a longer term.

They also have quite a but to do with generosity.

The last 6 of 12 Ways to Spike Blog Hits
(and by “spike” I mean not that at all, probably)

• Thank others openly (Ed Cyzewski does this well. Thank you, Ed, for teaching me a lot here.)

• Be a credible resource or niche expert (I’ve mentioned my new niche here.)

• Be humorous, amusing, or feature those who are. (Remember this fruity Bert & Ernie classic? …What? I can’t hear you?…What a duo! I plan to “hat tip” this in an upcoming video.)

• Invite others into your limelight (Guest contributors are one way. So, Call me. By that, I mean tweet me.)

• Share your lists of favorites (It’s win-win. Alise Wright does this well.)

• Link up with great causes (Here’s a new favorite of mine: The Good Woman Project)

If you learned something here today, do one of the last 6, k?

How To: Use Your Blog to Change the World [infographic]

Did you ever wish it was easier to navigate your responses to news and happenings on the interwebs? How should you blog when your passions get ignited, so you don’t look like an ass later? It’s a navigation issue.

OR

Did you ever wish you could teach someone how to avoid doing and saying things they might regret? (Or things you end up regretting for them.)

Now you can!

Okay, plenty of people don’t take good advice. Me included. Alanise Morrisette and I are not alone. Maybe you try to help your readers navigate, and they just don’t give a care. In hopes that they will, I made a graphic to help.

It’s like a flowchart that hopes to be considered an Infrographic, because infographics are where the coolness is.

Everything seems simpler with a visual, right?

TAH-DAH! The flowchart for navigating how we post on our blogs that you’ve been waiting for…or didn’t know you needed.

You like? Then, Take it. Use it. Spread it. Whatevs. It’s free. Enjoy.

courtesy of lisadelay.com

To get future infographics, free ebooks,

and stellar resources for Creators and Communicators, just sign up below:

 

In which Sarah Bessey Writes a Letter to Bloggers…

In which I post Sarah Bessey’s photo

Sarah Bessey writes at Emerging Mummy where she has become an accidental grassroots voice for postmodern and emerging women in the Church on issues from mothering to politics and theology to ecclesiology. Her writing has been well received in many publications including Church Leaders, Relevant Magazine, A Deeper Story, SheLoves Magazine, and Emergent Village. Sarah also works with Mercy Ministries of Canada, a non-profit residential home for women seeking freedom from life-controlling issues. She is a happy-clappy follower of Jesus and social justice wannabe. Sarah lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada with her husband, Brian, and their three tinies: Anne, Joseph and Evelynn

Hey, everyone! Lisa, here.

I’m happy to include a lovely person, champ blogger, and Canadian beauty– the one, the only: Sarah Bessey. I could tell you that I love Sarah and that I love reading her blog, but then you would just think, “Duh? Who doesn’t, Stupid?!”

Yesterday, she had a gracious response to the flap about under-represented female bloggers by posting her own list, which you can check out with her handy dandy button (link):

So, I’ll just use this valuable spot, after the 50 Button and before the letter from Sarah (yes, it’s beachfront property, baby) to encourage you to sign on for RSS or email updates for continued awesomeness. Lots of great writers are my splendid guest contributors ( a.k.a Series #4Bloggers ). My first ebook comes out May 1 “Soul Care for Creators and Communicators”. It’s free (until NOV 2012) if you sign up for it here. (It too is part of the awesomeness. More on that in the coming days and weeks)

And now, enjoy!

FROM SARAH
Dear Blogger:

There are so many ways to be a better blogger, to increase your traffic, to maximize your SEO, to make money. 

I practice almost none of them.

After nearly 8 years of writing my life out online, I’ve made almost every mistake one can make. I’ve learned the hard way to write angry, but publish when I’ve calmed down. I’ve received my fair share of angry criticism and lavish praise. I’ve been convinced that I’m God’s gift to the blogosphere and, usually within a few moments, pretty sure that my blog is an abomination upon the earth. And I discovered that what is good for the Google analytics isn’t always good for my soul.

In the midst of the reactionary, often inflammatory, competitive, over-saturated, addictive world of online writing, I repeat to myself, “Remember who you are, Sarah.”

That simple phrase has helped me decide what to write and what to publish, what to leave to other bloggers. It’s helped me focus my content, reconcile my values with my work, make decisions about blog growth tactics, advertising opportunities, networking or relationships. It’s helped me not to crash into despair when someone emails with harsh criticism or fries me up in their own blog post as a “response” served with chips. And it’s also helped me not to get too full of myself when praised, I’m very well aware of who I am and, as every one that knows me in real life can attest, I’m disgustingly normal with flaws and frustrations.

But even beyond the world of blogging, that phrase has helped me make decisions about my priorities and values. It’s helped me to shut the computer down most days, to go outside with my tinies, to make space for spiritual disciplines like silence and secrecy, to make cookies instead of nasty comments. It’s helped me to engage in the hard work of real, skin-on community, to put my physical hands to justice and mercy, to rock my babies to sleep. 

“Remember who you are” means remembering that I’m more than a blogger. I’m Brian’s wife. I’m Anne and Joseph and Evelynn’s mummy. I’m my parents’ daughter, my sister’s best friend. I’m Auntie-Mama to my little nieces. I’m someone who would rather eat popcorn for supper. 

And beyond all that, it helps me remember: I walk in the ways of Jesus. I am a peace maker. I am committed to speaking Love as my first language. I am an advocate for Mercy. I am a grace-receiver, a forgiver, a woman after God’s own heart.

So my friend, remember who are. In the midst of the blogging, beyond the blogging, and through it all, remember this: you are loved, you are loved, you are loved. 

Remember who you are, my friend.  

Love, Sarah