You can’t die of a broken heart. It’s despair that kills you.
Having a broken heart, means you are alive. It means that something matters, and you haven’t gone numb (which is what usually happens to people after a while…or escapism, which is sort of the same).
Having a broken heart means that risk was rewarded with pain. But not pain unto death. Pain that gives way to experience you can’t find another way.
I used to think God was trying to kill me of a broken heart. Dashing my hopes and dreams. Allowing my son, or my father, or me to suffer until I couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like the beatings wouldn’t end.
At the end of that bit of brutality (as I perceived it) I realized I could be borne out of it, like a phoenix. And that was the point. To come to a resurrection. On the other side was life, not death. All the scars would be a kind of beauty, not a pitiable shame.
Don’t worry about your broken heart. It has to break apart to get to the fleshy part. The part so tender that only God can hold it…and be the only one who can and will protect it in a way you never could understand before. In a way that you can never do alone. You are brave enough for that. You. are.
In our darkest moments it’s difficult to shake the feeling of aloneness. God may seem so hidden.
In those worst times several things have helped me devotionally and/or spiritually. One of them is the power of community. I use the strength and prayers of others as my own. I may read (and pray) the lamenting scriptures (like Psalms) when I feel too spiritually dry or weary to pray. I agree with the prayers of others for me and hold those prayers in my heart. When I can’t find the words, or feel the feelings I’d like to I share in the source and inheritance of the community of Believers for strength that is beyond grasp for me alone.
Today, I am listing two resources that are very helpful for this. Maybe you know someone in the middle of a dark, weary, or dry time. Maybe you are there yourself. You may feel quite alone. Strangely, that feeling itself can teach us. Since God’s presence is everywhere, that potent sense of alienation that overtakes our heart can refine in us the faith that does not come through our senses. We can have a “knowing place” even if we feel otherwise numb.
The first resource book is a collection of stories from people who have felt alone in the throes of depression. Together, they harmonize in a chorus of hope, and in the reality of the provision of our Creator. I think you will appreciate their entires.
The second resource is one I’m reading now. I’ll include a few quotes, I’ve read recently, to give you a sense of the power of this book–both for understanding or ministering to those suffering from the pain of mental illness, or for a tether of grace sustaining your hope for a brighter day in recovery from your present darkness.
Forgetfulness deprives our consciousness of great solace…my memories give me hope. p 90
Any coherence in the midst of chaos, any sense in the midst of nonsense, in the work of God. p110
…[W]e really have to admit that all our love and all our hopes are ultimately borrowed for God anyway. p116
Please share your thoughts.
Do you have a song of lament today in your heart? You have permission to share it here.
Psalm 10
1 O Lord, why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide when I am in trouble? 2 The wicked arrogantly hunt down the poor.
Let them be caught in the evil they plan for others. 3 For they brag about their evil desires;
they praise the greedy and curse the Lord.
4 The wicked are too proud to seek God.
They seem to think that God is dead. 5 Yet they succeed in everything they do.
They do not see your punishment awaiting them.
They sneer at all their enemies. 6 They think, “Nothing bad will ever happen to us!
We will be free of trouble forever!”
7 Their mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats.[a]
Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues. 8 They lurk in ambush in the villages,
waiting to murder innocent people.
They are always searching for helpless victims. 9 Like lions crouched in hiding,
they wait to pounce on the helpless.
Like hunters they capture the helpless
and drag them away in nets. 10 Their helpless victims are crushed;
they fall beneath the strength of the wicked. 11 The wicked think, “God isn’t watching us!
He has closed his eyes and won’t even see what we do!”
12 Arise, O Lord!
Punish the wicked, O God!
Do not ignore the helpless! 13 Why do the wicked get away with despising God?
They think, “God will never call us to account.” 14 But you see the trouble and grief they cause.
You take note of it and punish them.
The helpless put their trust in you.
You defend the orphans.
Think of all the words we have for people who suffer mental illness.
Mad, insane, out of one’s mind, deranged,demented, not in one’s right mind, crazed, lunatic, non compos mentis, unhinged,mad as a hatter, mad as a March hare; informal: mental, nutty, nutty as a fruitcake, luny, nuts, whacko, off one’s rocker, not right in the head, round/around the bend, raving mad, batty,bonkers, cuckoo, loopy, ditzy, loony, bananas, loco, with a screw loose, touched,gaga, not all there, out to lunch, crackers, nutso, out of one’s tree, wacko, gonzo…
What did I miss?
Stigma maybe? Uhm. yep.
For some reason, in Autumn it seems like more pronounced incidents of mental illness symptoms surface. Maybe it’s just that I notice it more because I start to hunker down for winter.
Who is “mental”? The unexplainable is quickly isolated as “not good enough”. It’s easier to plug in a label or term, than to empathize.
In truth, any one of us may be”diagnosable” for some period of time in a given month. We may not persist with symptoms long enough to need intervening treatment, but if we are human, we are prone, at some point, to have an unhealthy mind. For some, a lack of noticeable symptoms can make it harder to get help.
For example: Take a person addicted to pornography: Addiction is unhealthy in the mental/psychic capacity. Through this or any addiction, a person may become attached to unhealthy behaviors, thoughts, and actions, and then digress to mental instability and illness without anybody really knowing until the problem is truly unmanageable, or it has reaped awful consequences. On the other hand, a person having a schizophrenic episode and enduring auditory hallucinations, may quickly signal to others that medical assistance and support is needed. Stat.
The bigger question is which kinds of mental illness do we prefer?
We know much more about the brain, in 2011. We don’t assume someone with epilepsy has demons we should exorcise, or that some one who is hallucinating needs to be discipled and punished so they will stop at once. Many more people understand that if a person has a sick brain, they aren’t trying to. Though a proper diet and exercise can be helpful, they can’t think or will their illness away…otherwise they would. Just like a person with a broken leg cannot un-break his leg by thinking, “This disfunction and pain is fiction, so I think I’ll take a jog!”
Medications create the chemistry needed so many people can feel well again both mentally and physically. Without help, the pain–both physical pain and inner psychic pain–can be thoroughly unbearable. Something like brushing tea or getting up from bed may be too enervating, because it all truly hurts that badly. Too many take their lives because of feeling that there is no help or remedy. The illness simply is–and there is no escape, but one most terrible.
Bi-Polar Disorder (formerly called Manic-Depressive Disorder) is a brain chemistry condition in which the person endures major shifts (or polar opposite shifts) in mentality, mood, and behavior. The high end is termed “Mania” and the low end is termed “Depression”. I covered the symptoms of Depression in the last post.
Here are the Symptoms of Mania
(3 or more of these following symptoms for 14 days or more, or if the symptoms interfere with a person’s regular life, constitute Mania)
• Increased physical and mental activity and energy
• Delusions (thinking things that aren’t real or true) and hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t there)
As I read the lists of symptoms and mental sicknesses in Kathryn Green-McCreight’s book (See the Book here.)…friends, acquaintances, family members, neighbors, and so forth, came to mind. Some have mental illness mildly; others endure it severely. Some self-medicate with various substances in order to cope. Nearly all of them are misunderstood, unaided…and (formally) undiagnosed. Imagine, if they could feel comfortable enough to get help, emotional support, and medicine, to feel better…
Is there anyone you wish would get help?
In the next part of this series, I’ll go over the symptoms of Schizophrenia, and helpful options for support, pastoral care, and aid for people with mental illnesses.
I appreciate your comments. And as always, you can post anonymously, if you’d like.
Is Autumn ‘Mental Illness Season’?
It seems like Autumn and Mental Illness come as a pair, sometimes. From what I’ve been able to observe, if one’s going to suffer with something mentally, it’ll usually be between September-Februrary. Seriously, have you noticed this? Think back. Let me know.Is it not enough sunlight? Too many emotionally taxing holidays? Too chilly? Something with barometric pressures? I don’t know. But, let’s get on the same page.
What is Good Health vs. Normal Health?
If you’re healthy and you get a cold once in a while, you’re normal. If you get colds more frequently, you’re “a bit sickly”…but still, mostly, normal. What about if instead of a headache, sore throat, breathing troubles, and cough, it is your brain that “gets a cold”?
There is no reason to believe that the brain (with regards to chemistry, function, nutrition, environmental influences, etc) won’t be susceptible to maladies too, just like other parts of the body are. Science shows us clear indicators of genetic components. So, one can be prone to bad knees, or tendonitis, or sympathetic nervous system brain issues that make one prone to panic attacks, etc.
Of course, when one’s brain is ill, things can go badly quickly. For instance, one may be one’s worst advocate to resume health or find healing, if it is thinking which is impaired. Somehow, the brain (or we could say the “mind”: feelings/emotions + reason/intellect) gets tossed to another category when we think of the frailties of human illness. Saying you “sprained your brain” isn’t met with the same sympathy as saying you sprained your back, am I right?
Do We Love the Mentally Ill?
It’s an “untouchable,” or at least uncomfortable, category where someone’s inherent worth, inclusion in community, or spiritual devotion can be called into question. “Aw, uncle Boss? Sure he did that, he’s been more nuts ever since his time in the military…”
It’s a category we may fear or avoid talking about. Lines separating sane and insane get drawn. Such determinations sideline love, undermine grace, and even harm the true gospel message. Being “crazy” means that some one is alone in a special way. The numbers of Homeless who have a history of severe mental illness is about 25% (2009 National Coalition for the Homeless study).
So, if someone has brittle bones, falls, and breaks both legs? He’ll probably get more compassion or understanding than someone prone to mental illness who undergoes a bout with mania ending in a spending spree. Am I right?
The facts tell us that mental illnesses happen, more “normally” than we may care to imagine. Yet, it is those who are ill in the brain who feel so isolated and rejected during their tough times, compared to people who suffer in other ways.
For my Disability Studies class, I’m reading and learning not just about physical, and mental development impairments (wheelchairs and special education folks), but also of brain illness (mental illness). These are all people of the margins. Truly.
Darkness is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness, by Kathryn Greene-McCreight (Brazos Press 2006), is one of my course texts. I highly recommend it. Kathryn manages her Bipolar disorder, is theologian (Yale), an associate Episcopal priest, and a captivating writer.
Depression is one of the most common brain chemistry issues. By the year 2020, depression will be the 2nd most common health problem in the world. Read the rest of the Fast Fact Statistics here.
Here are the Symptoms of Depression from Greene-McCreight’s book, page 170.
5 or more of these 13 symptoms over a 14 day period, or if these symptoms interfere with a person’s normal life is considered Mental Illness or in this case, specifically, Depression.
• Major changes in appetite or sleep patterns
• Uncharacteristic irritability, anger
• Feeling sad, crying more than usual
• Worries, anxieties
• Pessimism, feelings of failure
• Loss of energy, libido
• Unexplained physical aches and pains
• Hopelessness, guilt
• Inability to concentrate or make decisions
• Inability to carry out or care about personal hygiene (showering, brushing teeth, etc.)
• Lack of enjoyment in things formerly enjoyed
• No desire to socalize
• Recuring thoughts of death or suicide
Has this ever been you, or someone you know?
Probably.
See, it’s fairly “normal”.
What are some ideas for helping those with mental illness? Your input is vital for this conversation. Thank you for your contributions, and spreading the word.
Maybe you haven’t heard of imaginative prayer. Does it sound “woo-woo”?
Woo-woo to you-you seems like doo-doo? Well, it’s not, unless you have zero imagination. A time of rich prayer using God’s word can inject vitality into an average or stale prayer life.
Here’s how I do it.
I’ve been using the story of Joseph, Genesis 37-50, to aid in my prayer time. As I carefully read and think about the story, I try to climb into it a bit.
I imagine (a.k.a. put my self in the place of a character/s) what it could be like to be sold by family members and taken hundreds of miles away, or be falsely accused and betrayed by the wife of an employer, and waiting helplessly in jail for 2-13 years. Through it all, never giving up on God and his love for me.
I pray with these images, feeling, thoughts, and various associations that strike my heart. I take them to God.
We (me and my Maker) share together in a close intimacy with this amazing reversal-of-fortunes story. I am inspired by Joseph’s story, because it shows my God as unfailing, redeeming unfortunate circumstances, and guiding the Story to his good ends.
Here’s your project. 1. Follow the Genesis link (above), and spend some time with the story. (You can use an old fashion paper Bible too. haha.)
2. Jot down themes, or ideas that come into view.
3. Ask yourself what this story says about God and his character.
4. Pray with your findings. Take them to God. (Don’t expect flashes of divine prophecy, or simple answers to your problems. Just enjoy and live with the themes and the story for a few…moments, hours (or days, depending on how you set to reading and reflecting on this.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading.
May God bless you richly.
-Lisa
Art information-
Title: ‘Joseph, Overseer of the Pharaoh’s Granaries’
Painter: Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1836-1912)
Year: 1874
)…friends, acquaintances, family members, neighbors, and so forth, came to mind. Some have mental illness mildly; others endure it severely. Some self-medicate with various substances in order to cope. Nearly all of them are misunderstood, unaided…and (formally) undiagnosed. 
