Don’t Eat the Fruit… cake.

Piece of fruitcake, 14 lbs.

Tonight is the Eve of Christmas Eve. Some have referred to this night as Christmas Adam…because Adam came before Eve. It’s all very Biblical, like Christmas itself, when Jesus came down a chimney, and was born under a tree, and then wrapped in swaddling gift wrappings.

I have usually rejected the moniker “Christmas Adam” because it takes away from Santa Clause. This is a tough night for Santa, with all the dry runs they have to do in the North Pole, and the elf toymaker’s threat of strike casting an unseemly shadow on this year’s holiday Super Bowl of Arctic events. It’s one of the best reasons compassion should be at the fore in our minds.

Christmas Adam is not so much a day of cheer. It’s a day of cuss words, traffic, last minute panic buying, and feeling like a dope for forgetting any number of basic merriment preparations.

And- Christmas Adam allows us reflection for one more important holiday theme. Don’t Eat the Fruit…cake.

I buy it twice almost every December, because a genetic mutation passed from my mother-in-law to my husband, allows them both to delight in the stuff. 28lbs later, my shopping is complete… if I remember to include the stuff.

Are you a fan of the holiday Cake of Candied Fruit? (Is it REALLY fruit anymore?) To me it seems like eating cement bread laced with misshaped jelly beans. Bleck!

I know one thing, it’s not Jesus’s favorite birthday cake. And calling it FRUITcake of the Spirit won’t help your cause either. (You can’t even get candles into it!)

Happy Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year!



Things you see at Christmas: Irony

Christmas time can be strange.

The pressure of donning Christmas spirit can produce mistakes.

Keep your sense of humor

 

When was the last time you wanted to wear this shirt?

7 fake TSA -related headlines

This topic makes for easy jokes. Of course, the disgust of the general public has made some fake headlines appear quite authentic.
(Two have emerged as most popular. First is the one about the Denver TSA worker and the girl’s basketball team; and the other is about “Perry Cummings,” from San Francisco.)

SNOPES reveals the truth about these two most commonly-mistaken-for-true, TSA related headlines here.
Come up with one of your own related-headlines in the comment section, and see if you can last through reading these 7.

Let’s just say, it seems we have crisis on our hands.

1. Phrase heard most often by TSA workers, “Sir, that’s not a gun.”

2. Joe Biden admits thinking TSA stood for “Touch Someone’s Assets”
(Actual definition of acronym here)

3. Vegas Sex Worker sues TSA worker for not paying her standard fee-for-service

4. TSA worker offers boys candy before pat down, because “he’s a new friend”

5. TSA workers agree to mutual fondling with travelers

6. Advocate magazine names TSA work “Best New Job of 2010”

7. Texas Prison Work Release Program trains convicts to work as TSA agents. “Oh, yeah, man. This is my dream job!” says inmate.

8. [this one is for your to write]

DAY 7- Weird Santa Photo Week (Grand Finale)

In the video Father Chrsitmas (click for trailer) Santa gets ticked-off, grumpy, and self-centered…and takes a vacation. Huh? (He’s practically a jerk. Yeah, I don’t get it either.)

It’s odd also because, even though his vacation helps his stress level, he ends by saying, “Have a Bloomin’ Christmas!” From spending some time in England, I know that the word “bloomin” is typically used in anger, like, “You’re a bloomin’ disgrace!”

So, he may as well have said, “Have a bloomin’ Christmas and a freakin’ New Year!” Right. OKAY. So, there you have it!

It’s one more holiday weirdness to wrap our brains around.

For the final day of weird Santa week, I’m busting out the rest of the bad Santa photos in a Grand Finale slideshow. Voila!
Tell us which is YOUR favorite.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions?

CHEERS!

[slideshow]

Day 6-Weird Santa Photo (STRESSED!)

Sometimes Christmas is Stressful. You’ve just had it. The kid in this photo is at the end of his patience. I imagine he endured being dragged by his mum or dad to do a bunch of shopping for Christmas presents for a few hours, and then they had the nerve to subject him to posing with Jolly Saint Nick, for some insult to injury.

Have you reached this stage yet? Is it likely?

Any responses, caption ideas, or Christmas updates to report?

"As if it couldn't get any worse...now this."