Tag: religion

God with a Spatula

spankingWhen I was in under my parent’s care, I was hit with a spatula among other things, in what my parents called discipline with “the rod”. This was picked over “time outs,” or being grounded, and my back side broke many a spanking implement–wooden rulers and cooking spoons, frosting spatulas, pancake spatulas, and probably other stuff I’ve blocked out psychologically. (I won’t even go into the things that didn’t or couldn’t brake on my backside!)

I guess you could say it sort of got pounded into my mind that God must operate the same way. To me, it seemed he would get peeved, and then, lower the boom. So, when bad things would happen, it was probably because of some kind of Divine spatula. I thought God was like a human, and most likely like a human parent who spanks.

Well, nope. God is “Other.” How we’ve interpreted Scripture has often reflected how we’ve been parented. In other words, we figure that God gets ticked off, and gets out the belt, and begins whipping his kids, until they “get it,” or have been punished sufficiently. Actually he usually lets them get away with murder, if you want to know the truth. But I won’t digress on that right here, and now.

Some years ago I heard a visiting pastor in my church say, “God will sometimes need to give you a whipping. You probably need it, and deserve it.” I maced him. Okay, I didn’t, but I thought if I hadn’t already known God through the character of the Incarnation (Jesus), and fully accepted the fleshly God/man, as the same God, I would have decided then and there to become Buddhist, or something other than whatever this guy was. What a crappy religion if this is the God he describes! This way, God sounds like a craptastic, unloving parent who needs medication. I thought this preacher guy was probably trying to manipulate the audience, and I wasn’t going to fall for his weirdness. I had already encountered God deeply, and I wasn’t going to throw it all away because this preacher pictured God as punitive, and wielding a spatula, or perhaps a thick belt, as I bent over to get my beating. God doesn’t have a spatula. He’s gracious.

enjoying God

If one begins to study ancient pagan deities, and what was required for proper worship, it seems a poignant attribute comes to the surface. Pagan gods needed a lot of service from humans, and much was required to appease them. In stark contrast, the Treaty of Sinai set up an agreement, of asking very little of its loyalists, by comparison. Every thing from sacrifices making one ready for priestly participation, to tributes, to honor requirements to their Sovereign were truly turned upside down.

For example, all regional deities had huge temples for themselves, some up to a mile long. God’s temple for many years occupied the size of five car lengths by three car lengths. (puny) It wasn’t made from exotic materials, but worshipers could dismantle the tent structure, and reassemble it at a new spot. Very Convenient. Fit for the God of the universe? God thought so. He’s what you would call the modest type. Regional gods demanded temple prostitutes, infant, toddler, and virgin sacrifices, and that humans degrade themselves in all kinds of ways to secure the god’s position as ruler. God forbade any such things, and protected his people from degrading themselves for him, or with each other. Their clothes were even fashioned with tassels to resemble a priestly class, no matter what their clan or economic status was. This was to honor them as treasures and royalty. Again, a role reversal. Regional gods demanded literally hundreds of sacrifices per day of expensive animals to stay in their good graces. God asked for one per year for the whole nation as a tribute. Most “animal sacrifices” required throughout the year consisted of burning a bit of animal fat, giving a slice of the meat to the priest to enjoy who’s been the butcher, and having the rest for a BBQ picnic with family and friends. Very enjoyable. The list goes on and on.

This really shows us something that should sink in deep, today. The character of God isn’t one that is demanding that we serve him. It may please him when when do, but that’s not at all the point. It seems we are here so he might serve, and honor us. How sweet and gracious! He seems to want us to enjoy life, (working and playing) enjoy “him,” and enjoy each other. We are not slaves to him, like property or indentured servants, and were never suppose to be. It is a relationship of respect and regard, mutually–when we understand it rightly.

He really offers us a life of emotional enjoyment and relaxation in knowing he loves us. Sometimes with this in mind, it makes the perception of a burden, the one we’ve strapped on ourselves, melt away, and we can begin to love and yield our whole lives and heart to God in a new way.