So, first you have to decide if you’re busy or numb.
The last post talked about that. It’s the necessary reading for this post. (Plus, there’s a hilarious Judo Chop knockout 26 second video you should see.)
Maybe you’re some of both. Read on!
Judo Chopping your inner Zombie = Judo Chopping FEAR
If you’re stuck and assuming some Zombie qualities here are 3 Ways to deal a Judo Chop blow to what’s holding you back! (btw this is the best and funniest example of how an actual Judo Chop works to knock someone out cold. It surprised me!)
1. Move from self-soothing to solutions
Example:
You want another job but as you troll around to find one at a big employment website…you find it’s complicated and tedious. All those stupid forms to fill out again and again! CURSES! You get bogged down. In a bit, you get distracted or you burnout in frustration. Time to check FACEBOOK, Intagram, or Pintrest. . . buzz—-you’re a zombie! (Can’t relate? Just think of anything else that takes a while and how you tend to get bogged down.)
Solution: Change the whole dynamic. Jump to the end.
Use a computer at a library that has a time limit. (Time limits are the death of passivity.) Make a few phone calls that close the gap between you and someone else, and see what’s available with the contacts you already have in real life. Jumping to the end usually involves direct connects. Don’t avoid it.
Find a way to jump over the lag and drag. Reach out for help. For real. JUDO CHOP the Zombie!
2. Look Harder.
Example:
You’re bouncing around on Facebook or otherwise dawdling. You feel frustrated, stuck, or disconnected and ineffectual. You see a neighbor in their yard and think something mean or critical about them. BUZZ–Zombie alert! (It’s you!)
Solution: Look harder at what’s bothering you.
When we start turning on people we are going numb, because we’re trying to anesthetize our own pain by throwing it outward. Start noticing the red flags. You’re numbing out, my friend. Get real about your pain. Take a few (literal) notes. (we’ve all heard the phrase that ‘s turned into a cliché, “Admitting it is the first step.” This is your big chance. But lots of chances will surface. Assess what you are really feeling.)
After that, refer to Step 1. Judo Chop the Zombie!
3. Put in a Gate
Example:
You’re at a stop sign and you’re thinking, “Can I make a text from here, or will it take too long?”
or Someone asks you to help on a project and you’d rather sleep, avoid them (in the first place), or find an exit.
Solution: Get your GATE on
The truth is we need boundaries. Using electric fences with barbed wire as some of us are prone to do only disconnects us and keeps us numb.
“Good fences make good neighbors” goes the adage. That doesn’t mean, build a fence to keep everyone out. It means you have neighbors and you need neighbors (some people call this community), but defined boundaries make it better for everyone.
If you have a white picket fence instead of one a federal penitentiary uses, people can see you and you can see them. Busting through in an emergent is possible or you can jump it to reach out. Picket style fences mark off where your sanctuary is and the gate you “install” determines the entry point.
It’s a balance: Don’t use high iron bars like a jailbird, but don’t expect that a boarder row of pansies will get the point across either. If you’re inundated you need a better fence, but to JUDO CHOP your inner Zombie always include a gate.
Boundaries Explained
We need to allocate time for ourselves and what’s really important. This turns out to be people and not things. Things keep us numb. People give us the connection and belonging we are craving. But it’s painful and tricky stuff to be sure. Don’t feel guilt about making boundaries: Our fences need gateways to get let certain things in at certain times.
Want a SECRET WEAPON?
Don’t JUDO CHOP your inner Zombie alone. Grab another Zombie and go for it. Jump the pen of isolation. (more on that in the next post!)
Ending numbness happens in groups. Yes, so do Zombie attacks, but in the end of a Zombie attack there are less brains to go around. So, partner, ally forces, pick someone and make efforts to be a better friend.
Don’t miss that next post! (add this blog to your RSS feed, your bookmark list, or sign up to get instant access when a post goes live. Click in the sidebar to get started.)